America's Dumbest Criminals - Season 3, Episode 12 - Half-Baked Burglary - Full Episode | Forensic Files

tonight on america's dumbest criminals what happens when a guy has a half-baked idea about stealing a bread truck a
major mistake without major appliance gets this crook stopped cold sit back and relax your life is gonna look much
better when you compare it to america's dumbest criminals [Music] oh [Music] [Applause]
[Music] [Applause] wow [Music] [Music] now welcome your host for america's dumbest criminals daniel butler and
debbie allen hi there hey debbie david debbie yes sir what is your dream car oh dream car i rode in a limo once that
was fun oh you want dream car and driver of course i shouldn't know oh i'd want a hummer you know like
schwarzenegger something scary yeah don't you think most people would choose something like sporty like a porsche or
classic like a 57 chevy maybe yeah most people yeah but the guy we're going to meet a little later knew
he thought it'd be great to ride around town in a bread truck but first up is a story that involves bootlegged compact
discs you're about to meet a man who multiplied his miseries by duplicating record albums let's join him for his
swine song [Music] we entered into a transaction with a guy that was selling counterfeit microsoft
windows 98 cds i bought sperm several times made an arrangement to buy another 850. when he
arrived he was 45 minutes late always happens that way he parks in the wrong place he's completely out of view
from my her my surveillance team my cameras and everything so i have to ask him to come over
just like an idiot or a dummy that he was he just pulls it over there right next to my car work where it's in view
of everything during the purchase itself basically i gave him eight thousand five hundred
dollars he had it in his hand for about five seconds until my takedown team took him off
it's really funny because he questioned me so many times about being a policeman and i reassured him the
whole time that i wasn't a policeman and he was just so dumb that he believed me the whole time i wasn't the cop
and i was at the end he was scared to death at that time he basically didn't know what to do
and uh after knowing or asking i was thinking i was a policeman the whole time he
basically just sat there and [Music] [Applause] didn't believe he was good after all that
debbie you remember those old episodes of lassie you know when lastly would get separated from her family and then she
she seemed lost and then finally she came home you know oh sure i remember him i can tear up just thinking about
him you know me too but our next dork is almost exactly like that except the part
of lassie is played by a sport utility vehicle here's this week's heart-rending installment of something to remember me
by here's for you all right well one of the hardest cases we've had to work here is a guy stole
the mayor's suburban he brought it back and parked it in his driveway pretty convenient he called us
said somebody's been gone in my suburban went out there had been driven several hundred miles it's pretty obvious that
whoever had it had partied hardy beer cans everywhere in it trashed out pretty bad a guy thrown up in the in the front
seat he said well i don't guess there's anything much we can do about this i told him i said i think i can solve this
for you pretty quick and he said no there's no way you'll ever figure it out i've looked in the back seat and found
the uh guys texas department corrections inmate card his name picture where he lives and all the information
that we need to to find him laying in the back seat along with the contents of his stomach
[Music] well he looked like a dentist he acted like a dentist he caused untold misery
like a dentist but when authorities took a closer look they found a whole set of
false teeth claims yep for the nitty-gritty let's conduct a little cavity search in the mouth
even his name is a mouthful italia a treadway hathorne everyone here knew him as a decent
dentist who treated prisoners in marion county florida he prescribed a antibiotic which was
okay and he did a pretty good job but when he was arrested at this department store for shoplifting a jaw
jaw-dropping truth came to light he wasn't a dentist at all not only had he pulled teeth he'd pulled the wool
over authorities eyes i don't care if he's licensed or not he was better dentist than anybody else i've had he
seemed legit even had a private practice but his license was bogus and instead of
this being a place of business it became a place of residence as you might expect having an imposter
tooling around in their mouths has become a sore spot that the inmates don't want brush to sign it's the
sheriff's fault it's their negligence because they didn't run a criminal check on this man to who like you said seen
one thousand people we have are in a process now conducting an internal investigation into the hiring process of
this individual to find out what happened where he fell through the cracks [Music]
[Applause] [Music] in seattle it is illegal to carry a concealed weapon that is over six feet
in length for the doper you're about to meet the problem wasn't concealing drugs it was
getting rid of this stuff if possession is nine tenths of the law this guy was trying hard to be in that one tenth
minority nice try no sale he weaseled his way into the feature we call america's dumbest excuses
we were working an area high crime area for narcotics trafficking and i was driving back to the station
and i saw a guy standing on the street corner obviously selling some narcotics he looked at me and i could tell he knew
i was a cop and i could tell he was a bad guy so i pulled into the convenience store
parking lot and as i did he had a small bag in his hand like it would hold a bottle
he ran back towards the store and threw the bag inside a garbage can and then took off running down the
street caught him about half a block away handcuffed and brought him back to the
store and of course he's denying that he did anything wrong he was just jogging when
i brought him back to the store i reached into the garbage can and removed the bag that he had thrown away
when i looked inside it i could see it was full of rock cocaine i didn't say anything to him but the
second i looked inside the bag he yelled at me that's not my dope i threw that away i just looked at the
backup officer and said did you hear him say that he said yes and obviously we had a
conviction well why do you think we call them dopes debbie what do you have to follow that
oh a good one here's what we were talking about earlier the saga of the bread truck bandit and as we follow this
trail of crumbs a much bigger story rises here's tonight's blue light special it's not your typical crime scene but
this is not your typical crime it is unusual we don't haven't had too many thefts of
items like this such as bread trucks while making a delivery to a store the driver came out to find his bread truck
and rolled on without him that was a joke but it was no joke a thief had gotten his buns out of there in a hurry
leading police on a chase that ended with the truck became mired in the mud there investigators learned the bad guy
with the baked goods may have been involved in another illegal activity dog fights
police found these cages in the backyard of the home where he had dropped off 500
worth of bread possibly to feed dogs used in fights with evidence mounting the police had
plenty of information to move on while the delivery man moved out after all fresh bread is fresh bread for only so
long [Applause] [Music] coming up later a perpetrator nearly becomes a popsicle but first with news
confirmed by low-ranking white house officials here's daniel with adc headlines [Music]
[Applause] when an intoxicated patron was ignored by the clerk at an anchorage adult
bookstore the customer picked up the cash register and ran out of the door ah but this sudden soul left a paper trail
literally the cash register tape unfurled as he ran leading police directly to the man
okay get the tape obviously this next crook failed to read the book the seven habits
of highly effective pilferers he broke into a bank after hours but found the vault just too hard to crack hating to
leave empty-handed he climbed onto a chair and yanked the surveillance video camera from the wall
slight oversight okay the video recorder in the back of the bank captured a great
close-up of this highly recognizable fellow indian thievery should have gone for the camera and
finally an escapee from fairbanks correctional center made a choice that made it hard for him to blend into the
general populace some years ago it seems he had had an expletive tattooed in inch
high letters on his left cheek all right because he was unable to turn the other
cheek to everyone he met he was soon located and recaptured no doubt he's muttering a word that's right on the tip
of his tongue and the side of his face well on that low note we'll close the file on abc headlines news ripped from
somewhere near the back of your local newspaper debbie now we're going to look at a duo of
criminals in florida who were anything but dynamic in pulling off two separate capers both bad guys used cabs to pull
off bank jobs but each adds his own unique touch of stupidity no question about it this guy was gutsy
or very very dumb he holds up a bank wearing no disguise using a taxi as his getaway car
he was practically begging to get caught comes back out gets in the cab right from everybody
half the cab take him over to fort myers and drops him off the burger king on college parkway he took the stolen money
right out of the bag and he gave it to the uh cab driver gave her a 20 bill and said
keep the change ah but the meter was up on you buddy [Music] another day another robber another taxi
another bank another dumb criminal [Applause] this robber followed the same dumb modus
operandi but added his own special twist note the note on the counter he used his
own uh check his paycheck stub that had his name what boat he was on the whole work so screw the number he left it all
on there he just turned it over and used that i guess he didn't have anything perhaps he can use the back of his
conviction papers to write himself a pardon [Music] you know it's a nice gesture to give a
friend a ride when he needs one but when you pick him up in a stolen car and you
both get arrested the gesture you give him might not be so nice you know meet a good samaritan who really wasn't
all that good i was working investigations when we're investigating this guy that was
committing a series of robberies [Music] he committed 20 and later admitted to doing about 50
and after we arrested him he was in jail in our jail and we had put out a flyer to all the
local departments describing the car that was used and his friend drives into the parking lot
he matched the description of the other suspect and he was arrested [Applause] what are you doing
what are you doing driving the truck here it's a lot easier on us when they drive
themselves in ex-friends helping friends get arrested here's the scenario you're a crook and
you know that police are looking for you you have to hide someplace pronto where
do you hmm needs to be bigger than a bread box but small enough that no one would think of looking for you there so
here's how the first of two fugitives solved his problem i'm chief dan pukach with the cuyahoga
county sheriff's office in cleveland ohio one day we were going to serve a warrant
on an individual and two detectives went to his house [Music] sheriff's office open up
get out of here the man came to the front door seeing that they were detectives and ran back
into the house the detectives called for backup and when backup units arrived and we've got
a guy in the house on a warrant mike's been watching the back paul you go to the back with mike tom you come with me
to the front entry was gained into the house sheriff's office come on out they searched in the closets they
searched under the sink they looked in the beds they looked in the attic and they looked
in the basement they looked everywhere where a person could normally hide and they couldn't
find them they proceeded to search the house for the second time checking behind the
couches underneath the couches and chairs they still couldn't find the subject there was no way the man could have got
out of the house without the officers saying he had to be in the house on the third search of the house one of
the officers discovered that there was food in the sink frozen turkey hamburger patties stuff that normally belonged in
the freezer when they opened the freezer there was the suspect turning blue from
the cold in the freezer about 40 minutes by this time he gave a whole new meaning to a police
officer telling a suspect to freeze he was one of the dumbest criminals of all time
okay so the freezer hideout wasn't such a good idea but now here's the crook who
tries a different spin on things several years ago when i was a warrant officer uniform i was serving criminal
warrants we had a subject that we'd been trying to locate on several felony warrants he
had a history of running from officers [Music] there was an occasion where i received a
telephone call from an informant one morning telling me that this subject was at a house
i talked to the person that answered the door for about 45 minutes before he allowed us to
search the house during the time i was talking to this guy we kept hearing a door slam inside
the residence every time the door would slam we would all get kind of nervous if the guy was
trying to run out of the house we kept looking and looking and never did see him come out or movement
so finally the guy that i was talking to at the front door decided i could come in and look
we searched the house we searched the attic we looked in every closet under beds
and didn't locate him but we kept hearing the door slam we had all the doors watched by an officer and still couldn't
find the guy finally i was looking around in the laundry type room and there was a dryer sitting there and
this guy was curled up inside this household dryer what the door sound was we kept trying
to hear was him slamming the door trying to get it shut with his weight in the dryer it wouldn't
close up the only regret i have about this arrest is we didn't turn the dryer on first
[Music] the guy that uh i was looking for had a history of every time he got arrested we
had about seven pictures of him wearing the same t-shirt and he had it on when we arrested him
that day i told him he should throw that shirt away bad luck [Music] [Applause] [Music]
[Applause] [Music] you know some people say that the secret to success in life is to say hungry now
that's just what brought down our final criminal of the night we found the idea of a little late night snack
irresistible and that's what made this guy so arrestable we serve up his story for tonight's entry and we're not making
this up [Music] the story that comes to mind was of a criminal case that we had was uh was
this guy who broke into a uh local deli store here in cernak lake and that was done we got a call of an alarm
going off was asylum alarm once we got this door we looked through the front window we noticed there was an
individual behind the counter making what appeared to be a sandwich and that was done
and at the time we thought it was just an employee so our quantum investigating a little bit further we found that there
was forced entry to one of the back doors of the building and that was dumb we went in and uh apprehended the person
who was hiding underneath the deli counter at the time and that was dumb if uh he
would have just taken the cash and left the store he would probably gotten away with it
however he decided he was a little hungry he stopped to make himself a sandwich before he left but that was
done well we've run out of time and stories for tonight so i think i'll go home and
make a sandwich i'm hungry good idea i think i'll check references on my dentist after this show too maybe
make sure there's nobody in my freezer or my dryer yeah you're paranoid now man but you folks at home do whatever seems
prudent okay but just make sure you're back here next week because we'll have another great lineup of america's
dumbest criminals and if you've got a lead on the story or you just can't wait till next week for more state-of-the-art
stupidity visit our website at www.dumbcrimes.com we want to thank you for joining us and
extend our gratitude to the law enforcement officers who make the show possible every day they lay their lives
on the line to keep us safe from the stupidity of would-be criminals as always we hope that we've all learned
from others mistakes but if you haven't we just might see you next week on america's dumbest criminals
[Music]

In this episode of “America’s Dumbest Criminals,” we’ll witness what happens when a guy has a half-baked idea to steal a bread truck, a major mistake with a major appliance that stops a crook cold and much more.

Crime is no laughing matter, except when the criminals are bumbling fools. Hosted by Debbie Alan and Daniel Butler, this show looks at lawbreakers through a humorous lens.

Brief Summary

This episode features absurd criminal antics, including a bread truck theft and a fake dentist caught shoplifting.

Key points

The Dentist Imposter. A man poses as a dentist, fooling authorities until his arrest reveals the truth.
The Bread Truck Bandit. A thief steals a bread truck, leading police on a wild chase.
The Freezer Hideout. A fugitive hides in a freezer, turning blue from the cold when discovered.
The Sandwich Heist. A thief stops to make a sandwich during a robbery, leading to his capture.

Episode highlights

Episode quotes

Your life is gonna look much better when you compare it to America's dumbest criminals.

Opening line of the show.

0:17WatchMar 3, 2022

Tension

25/ 100Low tension

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