America's Dumbest Criminals - Season 1, Episode 5 - Kickstand Blues - Full Episode | Forensic Files

this is an adc warning the crimes you're about to see are true only the names were changed to protect the ignorant
[Music] tonight on america's dumbest criminals you'll see the crook caught by the cop
without a kickstand surveillance cam footage we call stuff yourself and a blackjack player who really takes a hit
these are just a few of them america's dumbest criminals [Applause] welcome to america's dumbest criminals
i'm daniel butler we're going to show you real crimes told by real cops true stories but with a
twist see we've gone around the country from police station to police station asking
the men and women of law enforcement to tell us about the crooks who didn't get away you're about to meet the elite of
the criminally inept the sour cream of the crop as we open the files on america's dumbest criminals
our first story comes to us from foster arnett about a painful robbery we call die back we had a situation probably
about 10 years ago where a would-be robber went into a bank held up the bank at gunpoint and
he went up to one teller and he said give me all the money but i don't want any dye packs so she gave him a bundle
of money and he assumed he was home free because he said i don't want any dye packs a dye pack is a small explosive
device filled with colored dye when it explodes everything in the area gets stained
[Music] he was emitting all kinds of smoke and orange fumes were coming out of his
his pants and he was taken into custody shortly thereafter kids do not try this at home
especially south of the border [Music] and now actual security cam footage of the man we dubbed the electronic store
idiot this guy was a pro he knew what he was there for and he went for them video
camcorders he's got one he's got two he's got three he's got four hmm are there any camcorders over here
no no wait there's some more over here oh and there's one left in the window there
got it yes he got every camcorder in the store well except for one the one which
was later used to convict him which he's staring at right now next up a cooperative crack smoker leads
himself to a rest in a story we call pipe dream i was out with broward sheriff's office
one time working a monthly operation we did called crackdown where we went out and did street level narcotics
enforcement and we were up in pompano on a road up there it's real bad for drug sales one of our guys done an undercover
drug buy so we were trying to locate the bad guy in this bar so when we all jumped out of the van we detained five
or six people there and in the state of florida if you have a crack pipe or something like that that
has a little bit of cocaine residue on it if it fuel tests positive you can be charged with possession of cocaine
because of zero tolerance most of the people out there know that and uh so we had these guys detained and
one of the deputies looked over at him said look we got a drug dog on the way if any of you guys have any crack pipes
or anything like that you might want to get rid of them now just throw them on top of this building we got drugs
slipping dogs on their way right now if any one of y'all carrying or holding any
dope whatsoever you best to get rid of it now this guy reaches in his pocket pulls out a crack pipe
of course he went to jail for possession of cocaine there was nothing you didn't know
nothing at all [Music] abc quiz number 862. in alexandria virginia a robber pointed
what appeared to be a nine-millimeter semi-automatic handgun at three well-dressed men and demanded their
money were the men a too frightened to move b sympathetic to the criminal social
plight or c off-duty federal agents who drew their guns and fired on the would-be assailant
the correct answer was c they were off-duty federal agents this was not mullerian currently
[Music] sergeant doug baldwin tells us about an interesting drunk driver we call the
back seat driver one of the best excuses i've heard one hour concerning a traffic stop one of our
officers was on patrol and observed this van weaving across the center line obviously this guy was either sick
he was intoxicated so the officer pulled the van over uh the guy that was driving the van slid
over in the other seat the passenger seat of the van and when the officer got up to the
window he shined this light and says sir can i see your driver's license registration
uh i i wasn't driving he was and this big teddy bear back there stuffed animal sitting on the back seat and the officer
says get out of the dead and the guy get out of the van he's obviously dui and now actual surveillance cam footage
of stocking stuffers stuffing themselves the shoplifter family is doing their christmas shopping on surveillance video
fish line this would be great for uncle louie and let's see what about cousin bob hmm well
he'd like some fish line too well and then there's sis i wonder what i should get cis for christmas how about
fish line well and then there's there's mom too hey i know fish line well but now i
gotta get six rods and reels down my pants coming up on america's dumbest criminals
surveillance of a guy we call the duane with no brain [Music] [Applause] [Music]
we're all familiar with the old adage people don't plan to fail they failed to plan
we would guess that for a lot of our dumb criminals that old saying holds true but some of them do have a plan yet
inevitably somehow something gets lost between scheme and execution some small detail gets overlooked and the next
thing you know they're on this show like this next guy let's meet the dwayne with no brain
now if you were dumb enough to rob a convenience store as dwayne did you might drive a rental car as dwayne did
and you'd probably wear a ski mask as dwayne did but you probably wouldn't wear your work uniform yes as dwayne did
at the cedarwood apartments the police found dwayne with the ski mask the gun and the money he's definitely a
candidate for the witness protection program [Music] in boston it used to be against the law
for nightclubs to have frog jumping contest however frog like line dancing is allowed our next story comes to us
from the city that never sleeps las vegas nevada it involves a dysfunctional family a car dealer a grandmother a card
dealer kidnapping bank robbery and gambling it was back in about 1989 and they had a
bank robbery down to henderson where two brothers and their 70 year old mother went into a car dealership and
they took one of the test drives with the car dealer and they kidnapped him put him in
the trunk then they went to one of the local banks there and robbed the bank well one of the citizens inside followed
them and somehow they followed him to railroad pass was a casino in between boulder city and henderson
and so they staked out around it to keep them inside and they staked out on the car so they called us i was in swat at
the time and they wanted us to to make entry and you know take the people out so what we did is we went into the
security office and we looked in the monitors and we could see where they were inside the casino from
the description but they were talking to other people so we didn't know exactly who all was involved so we decided to
dress up like cooks and dishwashers and put on the garb and hide our guns under trays and things like
that go inside we went inside we found one of them sitting at a 21 table and he was getting
dealt cards and as the dealer was dealing you know she had her head down dealing to him we decided to take him
off right on the table as the dealer is dealing she just bypassed him for that time went on to the next deal and all
these people that were playing 21 watched the whole time they never looked down at us taking this guy in custody
they're more interested in their cards so as we're going through we find the other brother but we can't find mom
so we looked around in quite a long time and she was apparently somewhere gambling so we just paged her and had
her come to the cage so she came walking up the cage so we took her into custody
so they all went to custody for uh for bank robbery ironically the number of years that the
three of a kind will spend in prison is 21. and now actual surveillance cam footage
we call the gangs all here one little two little three little four little dumb criminals five little six
little well there were 15 dumb criminals in all who entered this department store
at night it was well planned and well choreographed they went right for what they wanted to steal but watch what
happens when the spotter car pulls up to say the police are on their way watch closely the dumb criminal cars crash
into each other there's only one way for a cop to get the kickstand blues dennis larson
explains what happens when a motorcycle cop loses his kickstand he can't stop but i was kind of in a dilemma at that
point is that i had to get the bike to where i the shop because i couldn't get off of it
there was no kickstand so i was headed for the barns to get the bike repaired to the government and the enduro dirt
bike he's up in traffic and he's riding on the left and on the right of cars and
he's speeding he's cutting everybody off and i can't tell anybody hey i can't stop him i don't have a kickstand to put
down on this bike well his driving got so out of hand and everybody kept looking like why is this
motor cop not doing anything well his driving got so out of hand that i figured i've got to do something so i
eventually went got it behind him and pulled him over but once i got him stopped
i was on the bike and i couldn't get off and he had no idea so i told him to get
off his motorcycle and put the kickstand down there and and come back and i had him stand straddle the front wheel of my
bike and grab a handle bar on each side i told him to stand there and i let go of the handlebars and go off and he was
standing there holding the bike and i checked out on the radio told him i was going out on a traffic stop here and
he's standing there holding i said where's your driver's license at he said it's in my wallet so i pulled his wallet
out and i had him show me where it was at and pull and i got the registration from the bike out there i get my ticket
book out and i write him a ticket and and then i said okay i set the ticket book down on the fairing of the bike and
i said uh let me have the bike and i hold it and he takes the ticket book up and signs it and then we swapped again
and i tear the ticket out and i stuffed it in his pocket and uh i told him thank
you and and he kind of went back and got his bike but he had this real puzzled look and he comes back to me and i'm
sitting on the bike now and he says why was i holding your bike up i said well i don't have a kickstand on
this thing and it's like i couldn't get off it if you hadn't held the bike up you know and the guy turned around and
he said if i hadn't wanted to stop what would you have done i said well i'd followed you but i could have never
gotten off the bike you know i was stuck on this thing because there was no kickstand and he walked off of this
bewildered look on his face like you know if i'd just kept going i'd never gotten the ticket you know
coming up on america's dumbest criminals see an undercover narcotics cop who has
to get wily with his wire in a tight situation [Music] [Music] bank robbers are a breed of their own
especially the dumb ones and we'll be bringing you a lot of dumb bank robbers as the season goes on but right now we
found a bank robber in louisiana who wore what has to be america's dumbest disguise
do not adjust your television set the man you're looking at is covering his head with whipped cream from a can
as a disguise this was his first mistake now let's watch his second mistake there's a long line at the teller's
window so he waits in it [Music] notice how inconspicuous he is by the time our human marshmallow sunday
gets up to the window his mask has started to melt and ooze no one in the bank could keep a straight face the
teller had long since pushed the silent alarm the police arrived and the man was
arrested our creamy crook was taken to the cooler and received his just desserts in a
court of law and now actual surveillance camera footage of a postal worker becoming
disgruntled folks there are surveillance cameras everywhere even in the post office hmm look this
one's for me it says i may already be a winner i'll just put in my windbreaker until the federal marshals come to take
me away now into the courtroom for trial and error a bank robber was immediately recognized
by the teller he robbed how did she recognize him mrs payne how can you say that my
client is the man who robbed the bank you work at well he's banked there for most of his
life and he didn't wear any kind of disguise well mrs payne isn't there the slightest
chance that you can i could have mistaken someone from my client's familiar face
i don't think so why is that because after he robbed the bank on friday he came back on monday
and tried to make a deposit with the bills still in the wrappers in nebraska it used to be against the
law to drive on a dark road without shooting fireworks the law was changed when one farmer got
carried away late one night undercover narcotics work is unpredictably dangerous if you're not
quick on your feet you could be dead on your feet i was working undercover narcotics and i had made a drug buy from
a man in a restaurant he told me if i needed anything else to call his beeper number and he or one of his men would
get back in touch with me and bring me what i needed so we were trying to accumulate as much
evidence as possible on this suspect so we plan to make a second buy when you make these undercover narcotic
buys the supervisors want you to wear lots of electronic equipment to document the evidence and to record the event
so i was equipped with several wires if you will and went to make the second buy and i
arrived at the restaurant and i saw who i thought was the man that was going to deliver the drugs to me and i was
supposed to meet him inside the restroom so i went into the restroom and he came
in behind me and i was kind of surprised that the restroom was a lot smaller than
i thought it was going to be we were chest to chest there well when the man came in i looked at him and he stuck out
his hands as if to shake my hand instead he began to frisk me and he pulled open my coat and began to feel
around and hey man how you doing hey i'm dude what are you doing what the hell is this man this is a wire you're a
cop no no uh you're a cop bang right there he found one of the devices that i was wearing
and he began to scream and he went off and he said you're vice you're the man and i
said no i have a medical problem and that's a pacemaker so he thought about that for a minute
and he bought it no pacemaker pacemaker got problems and he continued to frisk me and he
found yet another device and he said that's it you're a cop what's this no i have a medical problem that's
that's an insulin pump that's an insulin pump man i got problems you got money yeah yeah i got the mostly
the money you shouldn't be doing drugs man you're unhealthy he bought that too and continued to
think about it and he did the deal and then we took him down he's i guess one of the dumbest
criminals i've seen i'm glad he was [Music] welcome back to america's dumbest criminals you know speeders always have
an excuse for why they're driving so fast and the cops have heard them all but let's listen now as las vegas
detective gordon martinez tells us about a speeder he once stopped with an excuse
that he'd never heard before or since and it was just at the crack of dawn and this guy was really cooking he was
doing about 65 in a 35 zone again it was on jones as a matter of fact he got out
and he says you're not going to believe this i'm a vampire and i need to hurry up and
get back in my coffin before the sun comes out i said we'll write this really quick so
you can get going see you later well that's our show for tonight we thank all of you for watching and as
always our thanks to the men and women in police departments around the country for their help their humor and their
generosity in making this show possible until next time break a leg but don't break the law
i'm daniel butler god bless [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Music] [Music] [Applause]
you

In this episode of "America's Dumbest Criminals," we'll witness the crook caught by the cop without a kickstand, surveillance cam footage we call, "Stuff Yourself" and a blackjack player who really takes a hit.

Crime is no laughing matter, except when the criminals are bumbling fools. Hosted by Debbie Alan and Daniel Butler, this show looks at lawbreakers through a humorous lens.

Brief Summary

This episode showcases various inept criminals and their humorous mistakes during crimes.

Key points

America's Dumbest Criminals. Real crimes told by real cops with a humorous twist.
The Electronic Store Idiot. A thief steals camcorders but misses one crucial detail.
The Whipped Cream Disguise. A bank robber uses whipped cream as a disguise, leading to his downfall.

Episode highlights

Episode quotes

Kids, do not try this at home.

Warning about dangerous behavior.

2:15WatchDec 2, 2021

Tension

30/ 100Low tension

More from True Crime Files

Solve the Crime

Read a real case one clue at a time, then see how your call held up against the investigators.