America's Dumbest Criminals - Season 3, Episode 17 - Pot Pup - Full Episode | Forensic Files

NARRATOR: Tonight on America's Dumbest Criminals-- what's this pup doing with pot?
It's not just this dog who's about to be collared. It's a soap dispenser, it's a breathalyzer.
It's law enforcement's smartest new weapon in dealing with dumb crooks. And guess who this thief is going
to have to turn to for the flood of problems he's facing? These are just some of the deep problems that'll
get washed ashore right here on America's Dumbest Criminals. [theme music] NARRATOR: Now, welcome your hosts for America's Dumbest
Criminals, Daniel Butler and Debbie Allen. -All right, you're Debbie Allen, right?
-Yes, Dan. We've been doing how many shows together now? -No, no, no. The Debbie Allen?
-Oh, well, I'm obviously not the famous choreographer, if that's what you mean. But I guess I am one of the Debbie Allens.
Why do you have? -Well, because you put all that stuff on your resume. Now, the lady tonight, we have a case of mistaken identity
that is absolutely idiotic. -Well, there's no mistaking anything about our first pair of criminals.
They walked into a bank in broad daylight with no masks and no guns. -Two strikes against them right there.
They were so brazen, it's amazing. But everything catches up to you in time, and they were caught on camera and caught by the police.
Take a look. -We had two bank robberies here at Burlington, and these two bank robberies occurred at the same bank
on Maple Avenue, the Central Carolina Bank. This guy enters the bank, he comes in
like a regular customer. He waits in line, and when it's his turn to conduct his bank
business, he jumps the counter. He pushes one of the clerks back, and he grabs the cash from the counter,
jumps back over the counter, and runs out. A couple of months later in September, at the same bank,
this individual comes back to conduct some more bank business. Illegal, of course.
He again jumps the counter, opens the cash drawer, reaches in, grabs the money, jumps back over the counter,
and runs out the door. In both of these instances, he did not have a weapon, he did not have a disguise.
He wore the same type of clothing. He entered the bank and stood in line. Several individuals, bank employees recognized him
as the one that robbed the bank twice on Maple Avenue here in Burlington. These employees just happened to be at the branch
here on Lanelman Road. Everyone in the bank decided to take off running. I pulled up in front of the bank,
this guy comes running out the front door, and I shouted to the individual, excuse me, sir?
May I speak with you a moment? The gentleman started to back up, and when he did,
I brought my gun around to my side, and once I did that, he stopped, and I observed
him urinate on himself, and asked him to get down on the ground, at which time he did.
It was fantastic. Some of these people, if they're going to do something like this, they do it in this way,
so my job is so much easier. -You gotta give our next criminal credit. He had a daring execution in mind.
He planned to whoosh down from the ceiling on a rappelling rope, steal some computer equipment,
and vanish without a trace. But his whoosh got smooshed when he cut himself breaking in.
Then he made a bloody mess of things. -Ugh. Watch it, and you'll see why he has earned a spot
in the feature we call Something To Remember Me By. -Basically, we had one of our local gentleman
that decided that he was going to break into a store. Before doing this, he basically watched
"Mission Impossible," or something. He cut through a skylight. Before he actually entered the building,
he even told me that he even dropped a box down to make sure that the area that he was entering into wasn't an alarm.
Lowers himself in with a rope system. The store they broke into was a computer store.
He was going to steal computers, and then hock them on the streets. He figured it was a high resale value.
As he lowers himself down, he gets some major cuts on his arms. He starts looking around the lower store,
figures out that, well, most of the items in the store were too heavy to carry out by himself,
because he lowered himself-- he was the only bad guy there. So after a couple minutes, he opens up
one of the secondary doors in the store, sets off an alarm, scares the bejeebies out of himself.
Tries to climb out of the store. As he's climbing out of the store, he drops his hat, which is his work hat,
and gets to the top of the roof, and that's where he drops his pager. On the pager was his home phone number.
After all his hard work to get into this crime scheme and everything, it turns out that he got away with nothing,
and we ended up catching him in the long run. -When a drunk won't listen to reason,
a very savvy police officer resorted to the surreal to convince him that he's too tanked to drive a car.
-She enlists the aid of an unlikely crime fighting tool-- a soap dispenser. -Yes, a soap dispenser.
Don't touch that dial. You're about see a whole new take on the phrase clean and sober.
-Actually, what happened, it's been probably about 10 years ago. We had a drunk in who was just yelling,
banging, just would not stop. And every time you'd go to look-- you've just got six hours, go to sleep.
No, I don't want go to sleep. I'm not drunk. Give me a test. He kept yelling for a test.
And there's not a test for drunk in public. So we said, look, there's no test for drunk in public.
You're just spending six hours, and we'll let you go. No, I want a test. And he banged, and he yelled, and it was a busy night.
And it just went on and on, and so finally somebody said, OK, I'll give you a test.
So what they did was they took over-- this is a soap dispenser. And this is what we use to take, you know,
for cleaning your hands. They took the soap dispenser over to the drunk tank and just put it up to the bar and said, OK, blow.
And he blows, and he blows, and he blows. And then he goes, well, did I pass? And then the person says, no, you're a point one oh.
He goes, where? I don't see that. The person went-- point one oh. And that was it.
He never yelled the rest of the night. NARRATOR: In Pittsburgh, it is illegal to sleep
in a refrigerator. -Illegal and dangerous. You wouldn't get much sleep, anyway. The ice maker would keep waking you up, huh?
What can we say? Well, while the cat's away, the mouse will play. And while the homeowners are away,
the cat burglars will come to play. Or maybe just haul off all your stuff. But that's not the way these crooks saw it at all.
Their stunningly stupid comeback to police questioning earned its place among America's Dumbest Excuses.
-I had responded to a burglary in progress complaint, and as I arrived in the subdivision,
there was a truck coming out of the subdivision. It was a pickup truck, and it was
completely loaded up to the top. And people were actually sitting on top of property,
such as air conditionings and furnishing items, and coffee tables strewn all over the place.
So I stopped the vehicle and I walked up to the driver, and I said, I got several questions for you, buddy.
He says, what's that, officer? I said, do you own this stuff? He said, I'll be truthful with you.
He says, you're not gonna believe this, but me and my friends, we were walking right past the home,
and we were talking about how hot it is, and the air conditioning unit fell right out of the window.
And we caught it. We kept it from getting damaged. And we all looked at other, and we were wondering,
why in the world would an air conditioner just fall right out? So we went around and we noticed that no one was home.
We figured they're on vacation. We said, well, someone's going to come in here and steal everything.
So we went ahead and got everything, and loaded it down. And then when they were going to get back,
we were going to bring it all back to them. Now that's dumb. -They never cease to amaze us, do they, Daniel?
-No. And it's a good thing for us, because it makes for job security. It's good to be gainfully employed.
And speaking of personal finances, we're about to watch someone dropping millions.
No, I'm not talking about Debbie going for a weekly visit to The Pottery Barn, I'm talking about bales and bales
of cocaine, which are about to learn how to water ski. Witness what happens when the Coast Guard starts
to make waves with drug traffickers. NARRATOR: It's the fortune that never was. When the US Coast Guard confiscated these 71 bales
of cocaine, the total weight was 3,905 lbs. We could be talking real money. -At $100 a gram, we're estimating $140 million.
NARRATOR: So how did the Coast Guard know these innocent looking boaters were drug traffickers?
Maybe because most folks don't start throwing things overboard when they see a coast guard helicopter.
-They realized that the jig was up, and they headed south. NARRATOR: The drug traffickers got away,
but the cocaine was seized. So, what happens to the $140 million heist now? Hear it and weep, you bad guys.
-Because we're not gonna be able to pursue any kind of prosecution, this is just taken to an incinerator
and burned. -Well, it's said the dog is man's best friend, but is the opposite also true?
Is man dog's best friend? If that's the case, the pooch in this next story needs to expand his circle of companions
beyond the curs in his acquaintance. Let's see what I'm talking about. -Well, a while back we were doing an interdiction program,
and we were out on the highway doing drug stops. We came across a car that we had pulled over,
and it was occupied by two guys and a dog. The story was that they're two brothers,
and the dog is the seeing eye dog of the blind brother, who was the passenger. Well, we get him out of the car, and we're
talking with the driver. Just general conversation. We got to the point where we were asking him
if he had any weapons in the car, and he said no, sir. No weapons. It got to the point where we asked him
if he had any dangerous drugs in the car. -No. No. -Any contraband? -No. No. -So I looked him right in the eye
and asked him if he had any marijuana in the car. Do you have any marijuana? -No!
-Hey, man. OK, you're turning a little white. And then he went unconscious and slid right down to the ground.
Went right over the bumper of the car. Well, that was an indicator to us that we did have marijuana present in the car.
-What's going on with my friend? -He just kind of-- -And as we did this, the brother,
sensing some problem, says, what's going on? What's wrong? -That's good. Yes. Yes, I'm blind.
-Said that your brother, when asked if he had marijuana in the car, passed out. But he's OK.
He said, well that's good, because we don't have any marijuana. We haven't used that.
-We don't do that kind of stuff. -After we got the driver revived, we asked the passenger for some identification.
-Let me see your driver's license. -OK. -He pulls out a valid driver's license, which I think is kind of strange.
A blind man with a valid driver's license. And as he does it, he knocks some change
out onto the ground. And another strange thing happens. He's able to pick up two quarters and a dime
off the ground. -So you're blind, huh? -Yes, sir. -Then why did you just pick up those coins like that?
And the driver's license? -Perception. I was able to hear-- hear them hit the ground.
I've grown very attuned to that. -I think the joke was on them, because we had them
made for transporting narcotics, and eventually found 25 kilos of marijuana stashed inside a large, 50 lb
bag of dog food, which was for the seeing eye dog. -There's-- we're OK. -I don't think that you're telling the truth.
-No? -It's pretty dumb that they think they can pull something like that off. I think the smartest one of the three was the dog.
-Coming up later, a crook gets the wrong number of a lifetime. But now, the news that you can use to vouch
for your whereabouts , here's Daniel with ADC Headlines. -A Drug Enforcement Administration agent in El Paso
was making a last minute inspection of the home he was selling when he found some boxes the new owner had
already stashed in the closet. And what a stash it was-- 415 lbs of cocaine. Well, obviously it sort of messed up
the plans for the new buyer's housewarming party, but hey, it's illegal. To get a convenience store clerk in West Haven,
Connecticut to open the cash drawer, a robber presented a $1.00 bill to pay for a pack of gum,
then he grabbed $40 from the register and ran with it. But he was back a minute later to ask, did I pay for that gum?
At that moment, the police arrived, who will help him pay for the dumb, as well as the gum.
Now, here's a robber who didn't want to get more credit than he deserved. He robbed a store of $5,000, but the local newspaper
reported the take at $7,000. Now suspicious that the manager might have pocketed
that extra $2,000, he called the newspaper to set things straight. Now, while their staff kept him on the phone,
police officers traced the call and arrived before he had finished his tirade. -Well, that closes the file on ADC Headlines, news ripped
from somewhere near the back of your local newspaper. Debbie? -Some crooks go out with a bang, but this one goes out
with a splash, and maybe a little dog paddling, too. Here's the irony drenched story of a man who's
definitely in a sink or swim situation. NARRATOR: Before he could be arrested, he had to be rescued.
This customer told the car dealer he was taking the vehicle for a test drive, but actually he was just taking the car.
When police cornered him in a nearby park, he did what anybody would do in winter--
he jumped in the river. -The police pulled up beside him down there on the bicycle path
with a car, and he took off running. And we recovered the car. you know, we got the car back last night.
NARRATOR: Freezing rain and rushing water not only flushed him out, but he lost most of his clothes in the process.
He was stripped of his dignity, but he got a free ride home. Hopefully the next time he decides to imitate Butch
Cassidy and the Sundance Kid, he'll wait for summer. -OK. Our next story is a real hot potato,
when a crook tries to act cool as a cucumber, but finally spills the beans, causing
a police officer to squash his plans. Well, enough vegetables. On with the video.
It's the telling feature we call I'm Where? You're Who!?! -Our narcotics detective goes to arrest this man for narcotics
violations, and when they do that, he flees in his vehicle. -We start chasing him, chasing him over into Oklahoma.
I think we got up to the 100, 110 mile an hour chase. We finally lost him. -An informant calls one of our detectives and says,
hey, I just talked to the bad guy you guys were chasing, and he told me that while you all were chasing him,
he threw his drugs out the window. And he told our detective where he threw them out.
When I got home later that morning, there were approximately-- probably eight messages
on my answering machine. -Jamie Hammond called me and told me, you're not gonna believe this, but the guy
that you were chasing last night, asking me about just called my house and left a message
on my answering machine. -And the messages were from a guy who says-- he says, hey, Mike, it's me.
I'm out here looking for this stuff, but I can't find it. And another one, kind of the same thing.
Hey Mike, it's me again. I'm freezing. Come out here and help me look for this stuff.
One of of the messages, he said hey, Mike, it's not cool to make fun of the police
like that on your answering machine. Call me when you get home. When I recorded the greeting I used some James Bond music,
and then I said that I wasn't home, I was out chasing bad guys. So anybody who would call would realize
that it was a policeman who lived there. Surely this guy's not talking about what I think he's talking
about, so I call the narcotics detective, let him listen. He said, he's one of the guys who
we were going to arrest with this other guy. On the last message he said something about meet us
at the Motel 6 and we'll take care of this stuff. -Apparently he thought he was talking to his buddy,
telling him to come on over to the motel. He gave the room number, phone number, and everything.
-When he was calling the bad guy, when he thought he was calling the bad guy, he'd reversed one of the numbers
at the end. That's why he was calling me thinking he was calling the other guy. So if you'd have called anybody except for me or Binyon,
no one would have known what he was talking about. -I really love it when they call and tell me where they're at,
and their motel room number and their phone number, and I can just go pick them up.
Makes it a lot easier. -Now he's got a new number. -Like moths drawn to a light.
Like metal drawn to magnets. Like-- -Bugs drawn to windshields. -Aw, thanks. So much for my dramatic introduction.
-Well, it seemed more appropriate. The insect thing. -I guess so. Whatever metaphor you prefer, here's
the story of crooks who seem irresistibly drawn to police. -I had the opportunity to meet a pretty dumb robbery
suspect one time, one Sunday morning. Myself and Officer Landon was parked across the street,
and there's a Texaco station right across the street. And while we were sitting there talking,
the dispatch had come out and said that there was a robbery in progress at the Texaco, and he'd
be driving a black Ford Ranger. Robbed it with a handgun. I said, OK. So we're like, 100 yard across the street from it.
And we look up, and he's the black truck. He's pulling out, and makes a u-turn, and we just wait until he'd pulled out,
and we'd get in behind him and stop him. He tried to run from us, but we blocked
him in, and get him out. And after it was all over, I asked him, I said, next time you plan on robbing something,
just look across the street and make sure there ain't no patrol car. -I love his accent.
Where's he from? -Think he's from down there with mom and them. You know? -Mom and them?
-Down there where mom and them come from. Well, our time is up, so I think I'll go to the restroom
and make some breathalyzers. -I hope you have fun. My armored car is waiting outside, so I've gotta--
-Oh, yeah. Help you. We hope you had some fun at home, too. Count on us to be back here again next week
with more things that make you go, huh? -And if you've got a lead on a story, or you just can't wait till next week for more state of the art
stupidity, visit our website at www.dumbcrimes.com. -Before we go, we'd like to take a moment
to express our appreciation to the law enforcement officers, both the people you met on the show tonight,
and all the unsung heroes who patrol our streets each day. It's a tough job, and you do it well.
-As always, we hope that we've all learned from others' mistakes. -But if you haven't, we might see you next week
on America's Dumbest Criminals. -Goodbye.

In this episode of “America’s Dumbest Criminals,” we’ll witness a pup with some pot whose owners get collared, law enforcement’s cool new invention and a thief with a flood of problems.

Crime is no laughing matter, except when the criminals are bumbling fools. Hosted by Debbie Alan and Daniel Butler, this show looks at lawbreakers through a humorous lens.

Brief Summary

This episode covers dumb criminals, failed heists, and humorous police encounters with intoxicated individuals.

Key points

Daring Bank Robbers. Two brazen criminals rob a bank in broad daylight without disguises or weapons.
The Soap Dispenser Test. A police officer uses a soap dispenser to convince a drunk driver he's too intoxicated to drive.
Blind Man's Driver's License. A blind man with a valid driver's license raises suspicion during a drug stop.

Episode highlights

Episode quotes

It's not just this dog who's about to be collared.

NARRATOR introduces a segment about a dog and crime.

0:08WatchMar 3, 2022

Tension

35/ 100Low tension

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