America's Dumbest Criminals - Season 2, Episode 6 - Stuffed Turkey - Full Episode | Forensic Files

hi i'm daniel butler welcome to another edition of america's dumbest criminals um
[Applause] [Music] on this episode of america's dumbest criminals a cramped crook in stuffed turkey
some creeping critters in swamp things a taunting car rather a pair of lame ducks and safe quackers
on america's dumbest criminals and now here's your host daniel butler ultimately everything we do in this life
prepares us for something else coming our way in the future as this dumb criminal was about to find out a man
tried to rob a local restaurant los angeles and managed to get in take what he needed and then make his way back out
through the ventilation ship however as he was slithering his way out he slipped
and fell down on a joining segment of the system where he became stuck after an hour of screaming for help the fire
and police department showed up to unstuff this turkey after several hours of cutting twisting and pulling they
managed to remove the canned ham from his tin but he probably didn't realize that the
quiet time he had just spent in the small confined space with no way out was just a sneak preview of how things would
be for him over the next five to ten years behind bars there's a reason people used to ask who
was that masked man when the lone ranger rode out of town because masks draw attention which is fine for heroes but
not so fine for dumb villains in milwaukee a woman with crime in her heart and a ski mask on her head walked
into a check cashing store since the temperature was warm the teller thought something was going on and it was but
not the robbery attempt she expected hi i'd like to cache this do you have some identification
uh can you take the mask off not even close the check and license were obviously stolen you'd better fill
this out while the unknown forger tried to remember her fake name the teller called
the police who arrived quickly and arrested the dumb criminal and despite her lawyer's request the woman was not
allowed to wear her mask for her mug shot officer mark castile of garland texas and his partner were in pursuit of three
robbery suspects making their getaway in a stolen car now they were close enough
to the car to identify them as three african-american youths they chased them off the highway into a field of grass
about waist high the driver runs into a tree stump and one of the use takes off with the officers in hot pursuit they
corner their man and get him into custody when all of a sudden about 20 feet from us
out of the grass this white guy stands up throws his hands up i give i give who's this who's this guy
he didn't come out of the car so the one of the officers with me runs over and grabs this guy who who are you about
this time some dallas officers come up from around this building he was a burglary suspect that they'd been
looking for we captured two birds with one stone two birds in the hand both caught in the
bush go for you [Music] here's a story about two thieves on the run who ran the wrong way
an officer just happened to be patrolling a half block away from the car they decided to break into the two
men were still trying to open the door when the officer pulled up they chose to run through a thicket that
only led to a large swamp area no other way out the officer pulled his car over and noticed the thieves car parked
nearby and saw a man pretending to be asleep in the driver's seat on closer inspection the officer noticed that the
back seat was filled with radios and car stereos this was their getaway driver the drowsy driver was arrested and
that's when the officer came up with an idea donning the driver's cap and jacket the
officer climbed into the getaway car and lightly honk the horn as if signaling for the two to come out after noticing
that the nearby police car was empty the two shivering stooges came running out of the swamp and right into the
camouflaged cop's hand the swamp sickles were arrested and immediately sent to the cooler
if i were you i dropped the remote now [Music] and now crimes of the week with daniel
butler and beaumont bacon we have a new set we did yes the world is constantly changing hi i'm daniel
butler and this is beaumont bacon hello how are you today i'm good i'm good to be here how are you i'm just saying
thank you well then you're doing much better than the guy in our first story he was pulled over he was pulled over
for a minor traffic violation and the officer discovered that this man was driving without a valid driver's license
now according to the law the car had to be impounded a relative picked him up at
the station and he was sent on his way what's up there you go well i'm sure he learned his lesson evidently not
less than a half hour later the same officer was back out on patrol and was stopped at the light and noticed another
car pull up beside him at the light it was the same guy he had just arrested only in a different car now he was
arrested again and this car had to be impounded too ouch there yeah but it was an ouch he shared
with the whole family well see the cars were not his they belonged to two different family members and each was
impounded for 30 days each and cost him around 1200 ouch again you don't want to
do that in your big brother's car no well i'm sure he'll think twice before asking his father if he can barf the car
bart it's not coming back well this next woman she didn't even bother to ask if she could borrow the
car mistake number one there you go an officer had pulled this woman over for drunk driving thank god i mean she
obviously she was weaving and he knew something was going on however she knew she was drunk and she was very honest
about it she goes you know what officer i'm drunk so just take me to jail which he planned to do anyway he cuffed her
and put her in the back of the patrol car while he talked to the passenger that was in the car with her so he was
over there talking when this drunken damsel she decided to make her move what she did is she crawled from the back
seat into the front seat of the cruiser and drove off just leaving the stunning officer
mistake number two and of course they've got that camera there so you know you're
going to see the whole thing she's playing with the siren and the buttons she was having fun and the best part
about this is that she didn't hightail it out of the country she didn't hightail it out of the city
no what she did she drove right to the police station and she turned herself in oh well how nice she sobered up i guess
and had a little flash of sanity there i guess so basically what she said though
she got tired of waiting on the officer so she decided to finish the job herself
okay service service you sisters are doing it for yourselves we're standing on our own two feet and
driving ourselves straight to jail come a long way baby well these two goofs didn't drive themselves to the station
but they did manage to call for a ride it seems that two guys had decided to steal the change out of a pay phone in
gloucester new jersey wow they are high yeah it was the most money in one place in cluster i think what they didn't
realize was that with all of their banging and pulling they had accidentally hit the 911 buttons on the
phone you have to be pretty dumb i mean those buttons are there that's luck and it was a free call remember okay
officers showed up a few moments later and collected the change gang and deposited them quickly into jail that
was a hard thing to say no deposit no return no deposit no return which brings us to our next section our favorite
sucks indeed the whole show which is the idiots of the week from all of the stories we received this week thousands
this one is our favorite there's a plethora a plethora let me just there's a cornucopia of submissions here
a montana officer made a routine traffic stop on a car that appeared to be going
a bit faster than the posted limit just a scope just a tad skinky little bit the officer found a
very happy driver more than willing to retrieve her license and so like any woman she goes to her purse the dope
that she was searching for her id in her bag this could take an hour this could take a while the officers are going left
foot rifle and waiting for her pulling out lipstick pulling out the looking for her identification and one of the things
she did pull out she's placing all these items up on the dashboard the officer noticed a coffee cup full of rolled
joints and he pointed them out to the spacey tracy who barely reacted as the officer cuffed her and gave the stoner a
back row seat for the next showing of driving miss hazy no one under 17 admitted without a warrant
a registered nurse will be on duty this father and son reunion would have been more touching if dad had brought
some brains along with him as well our dumb dad came to pick up his son from prison a facility that he had once
been a guest of as well his peculiar behavior led to a police check it revealed a warrant for papa's
arrest in alaska but papa wasn't alone he'd brought three friends along for the gala reunion
they all were wanted too and their party favors included guns booze and drugs at least dad and his friends can call
the son for a ride if they ever get released it was sort of a fairy tale you know some criminals claim they were
led to a life of crime by an unhappy childhood urban poverty or improper toilet training this next loser went
down the wrong path purely by choice while on patrol an officer noticed a guy drinking while he was driving and
quickly pulled him over the man didn't appear to be intoxicated and lived just a few blocks away so the officer was
just going to give the guy a break until once you go ahead and have me that beer
right there okay all right there you go all right i see you have another one on the seat over there yeah i do you do
yeah well you're gonna have to hand me that one too oh really yeah because in the state in this state you can't have
an open container oh you can't no you can't have any beer in the car either oh yeah
well i really need this beer sir so is it do you mind if i just you really need it you realize that i'm offering you
here a chance to avoid an 80 dollar ticket plus all the taxes that go with it the
state and the county everything put with it you know and i really don't want to write this ticket you know i'm trying to
give you a break and be a part of that it's all right just write it up i already need this view you really need a
beer that bad the officer wrote the ticket and followed the man home where he could
legally enjoy his 80 dollar can of beer you have the right to remain seated [Music]
here's a story about a purse thief who left more than just the scene of the crime
after this woman used her atm card at a local machine a man suddenly appeared from nowhere grabbed her purse and took
off running as the man ran away the victim noticed something fall out of his shirt pocket it was a visa card he
dropped this i found this on the ground oh he did huh drop this card okay well we'll hang on
to this it's probably a stolen card but you never know it could have belonged to
him a week later the officer was notified by bank security that the card had not been
stolen and in fact they even furnished a picture of the last person to use the victim's card at an atm
lo and behold it was our first snatcher in fact he was wearing the same outfit from the night of the purse snatching
with positive identification clearly established all the police had to do was atm
arrest the [ __ ] [Music] you've met one at every party i can crime there's nothing wrong with me as
he staggers to his car well on this occasion the [ __ ] got a mile down the road when he was
apprehended by the law just as they put him in the car the two officers were notified of a robbery half
a block from their present position telling him to stay put the two officers raced off to the scene of the crime
after a long wait the party king decided to drive home and when he got there he told his wife that if anyone is looking
for him he's gone to bed with the flu and has been in all day a few hours later the police knocked on
the door they asked for mr simpson and she repeated the story about him being in all day with the flu well they said
they had his driver's license and would like to see his car she took them to the garage and when she
opened it there it was their police car parked in the garage with the lights still flashing ma'am i
have a question for you your car wouldn't have to paint it black and white now would it ge officer how did
that get there i guess he just had noticed the disco effect in the garage when he got home
gosh you know i hate to see a grown man cry and that's what two security guards in honolulu found when they chased a
shoplifter out into the parking lot the man had just dashed into a store and grabbed six leather handbags with the
intention of making off with them security had been notified and were chasing the man out into the lot when
they got there they found him next to his car crying oh no come on come on stop you're crying
there's no reason to cry oh man you want us to call triple a get your keys out don't you just hate when
you do that dagger [Music] and now a story about a dysfunctional duo who are professional safe quackers
yeah these two men broke into a store in twin falls idaho they weren't able to open
the safe so they stole it perhaps they thought the combination would change with the location
but when the stolen safe wouldn't fit into their hatchback they went to plan b steal a friend's pickup while the
perplexed pair were out committing grand theft auto the store owner came back and
found a safe sitting in the alleyway the store owner called the police who arrived in moments the officer advised
him to remove the money and leave the safe right where it was the police hid in the shadows and sure enough in less
than an hour the pair were back the police watched as they struggled with the safe until they got it into the back
of the pickup truck that's when they closed in and arrested them i'm sure you'll all rest easier tonight
knowing that these two diabolical masterminds of crime are off the streets and behind bars
oh yeah why is missouri the show me state because it files cases like this one where an irate attorney showed off more
than his knowledge of the law [Music] a jefferson county patrolman got an earful when he stopped a lawyer for
speeding opening argument was a lecture on the inaccuracy of radar units followed by a
questioning of the officer's maternal origin closing argument was a personal observation that the officer would
perhaps be better suited for the position of roadkill collector your witness officer come on now we're on the same
team here all right i'm an attorney you're a cop [Music] let's not go through this i know those
radar guns aren't they don't work right exhibit number one missouri state driver's license credit cards and maui
wowie i hope you know a good attorney apparently passing the bar is no guarantee of intelligence and as this
attorney learned knowing the law doesn't do much good unless you obey it this next surveillance tape shows a very
self-centered suspect who stole a volvo and then led police on a high-speed chase through a very busy end of town
just to draw attention to himself well nobody likes a show-off because everything has to revolve around them
it's all me me me look at me i've stolen a car hey and i'm a bad dancer too i'm on the run
hey i don't know what you're all mad about i'm going to jail [Music] he's going to need to make an attitude
adjustment real quick if he plans to get along well with others in jail that is well our bungling buffet is now closing
but please join us next week as we serve up another heap and helping of hapless hoodlums here on america's dumbest
criminals on the next america's dumbest criminals you'll see these big dumb stories
what's going on here a confused crook in recording trouble a bungled burglary is
better up a felon is a diamond in the rough got some more in here you want to take one
you got some more in there yeah the restaurant roof clown all these dumb crimes and more on the
next america's dumbest criminals there's a wake-up call ready when you are baby [Music]
i'm sorry oh i'll stop my ribs these american comedy is supposed to be killing all right
p.s my new cell mate is really nice in fact he really wants to be close to me ask the guy dude
continuity is persistent [Music] here we go helmet and call me marlon perkins for a
minute we're about to enter the wild world here we go this wobbly would be wubba was quickly
arrested and said to poison an important role in an investigation in an investigation here we go
do

In this episode of "America's Dumbest Criminals," culprits try to get away with a "Stuffed Turkey" and "Swamp Things," someone will be a "Taunting Car Robber" and we'll discover the misery of the "Safe Quakers."

Crime is no laughing matter, except when the criminals are bumbling fools. Hosted by Debbie Alan and Daniel Butler, this show looks at lawbreakers through a humorous lens.

Brief Summary

This episode features bizarre criminal antics and humorous police encounters, including a man stuck in a ventilation system and a masked robbery attempt.

Key points

A Cramped Crook in Stuffed Turkey. A man tries to rob a restaurant but gets stuck in the ventilation system.
The Masked Robber. A woman attempts to rob a check cashing store while wearing a ski mask.
Two Birds with One Stone. Officers capture a burglary suspect while pursuing robbery suspects.
The Drunken Escape. A woman drives off in a police cruiser after being arrested for DUI.
The Purse Thief's Mistake. A purse thief drops his Visa card while fleeing the scene.

Episode highlights

Episode quotes

I give, I give!

A suspect surrenders during a police chase.

3:31WatchFeb 17, 2022

Tension

35/ 100Low tension

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