The Rewatcher: True Blood - Strange Love (S1E1) | Forensic Files

Oh my god, you guys, I love this show. She's a True Blooder. I'm True Blooded. I'm True Bleeding.
>> It is such a hugely different vibe than Buffy, obviously, for >> Massively different.
You know what? It has UPN vibes. >> Oopon. Oopon. It is Oopon times two pon. >> it's HBO. We're We've moved on from
Oopon to HBO. Yeah. We're We're home box office right now. Home box office. Here's the thing. Yeah. We're never
going to not be Southern while talking about this show. >> to shift out of it. >> I love a Southern accent.
>> that. And just wait until you hear me say bill and in my accent. Also, they're never going to be good Southern
accents. >> No. No, we're we're not trying to offend anybody. We love your accents. But you
have to know that they are the most fun accents to slip in and out of. >> That's the thing. They just feel right.
>> Yeah. And all of our all of our all of our manses are going to hate us. >> Yes.
John hates when I just won't stop Southern accenting. >> Southern. When I just keep going.
Sometimes it's hard. You know, sometimes you just fall into it. >> Let's get into it, guys. I'm so excited.
I know. I'm very excited to say from the Morbid Network, I'm Elena. I'm Ash. >> And I am Mikey. And this is the
rewatcher True Blood. This is season one, episode one, Strange Love. Love is strange in this episode, huh?
>> Isn't it? It is. Speaking of love, our [ __ ] theme music >> It's so good. Come on.
>> I've been so excited for everyone to hear that. >> It's so good. >> Yes. We have been sitting on that for
a long time at this point. >> weeks and weeks. Mhm. When we first heard it, we all screamed.
>> Yes. We were like, this is perfect. >> in the car and I almost swerved off the
road. >> Yeah. We literally screamed. I was so excited. It's so good. Andrew was so
amazing for making us that. >> Andrew McMahon. And he just Andrew McMahon just That's not his name. It's
Andrew McMahon. But it was really fun to say McMahon. >> so great when we asked him to do it. He
was just like, yep. Let's go. Yeah. We and he just That was first try. First try.
>> By the way, he went into If you listen to Something Corporate, Jack's Mannequin, Andrew McMahon in the
Wilderness, he's got like different vibes going on in those three different bands. But even this song is such a
different vibe for him. Like It's such a different vibe. >> can do anything. >> Yeah. He's versatile. Versatile.
>> Andrew, good job being versatile. >> Thank you. >> True. We appreciate you. >> Thanks. Many thanks. Another
collaborator that both kicked ass is you know, none other than Ryan Murray and freaking Matt Murray from Black
>> Veil. It is like our new key art is slapping. >> They are the best. >> We love Matt and Ryan. Yeah. In the key
art, I'm Sookie. You're Sookie. Yeah. You are. Who are you? You haven't met me yet.
>> I haven't met you yet. I said, you know what? I'm a fang banger. Yeah. You're a
fang banger? I guess. You are. Yeah. Oh, girl. >> a reluctant fang banger. You look a
little scared. You look a little reluctant. Uh but no, Matt and Ryan are amazing. If you're ever in Salem, go to
the Black Veil. There's two locations. >> Yeah, go get some cool [ __ ] Get tatted.
And get tatted. >> That's who does all of our tattoos. They're amazing. They did our merch for
our live shows for Morbid. They did the the um key art for this. It's They're amazing. So we
>> we'll have some merch for you for True Blood now that we own this [ __ ] show
free and clear. I think we will. And maybe we'll have some for Buffy as well. >> Please don't forget. We'll do backup
merch. Trust me, we tried. Some retroactive merch. Yeah. Uh cuz it's still fun. >> We'll get her done now. So yeah, we've
been able We've had a lot of really good collaborators between Andrew, Ryan, and
Matt. It's been We We've We've come up come up aces. We really have. Two thumbs up, wonderful homies. Yeah. Two thumbs
up, 10 out of 10, would would recommend them. Mhm. As homies. But they're our homies and not yours.
>> You can't have them. I get protective. I'm just kidding. They can be your homies. You're my friends,
too. It's true. Listener. Uh so this is going to be really fun. I'm excited. We've gotten to watch Ash watch the
first episode now. Something I've been waiting to see for a long time cuz I just needed to see her reaction.
>> years got shaved off of my life and then somehow added back to my life. The thing
that was the most hilarious is like we were literally eating lunch while we started to watch it cuz we're just like,
let's throw it on while we're eating so that way it can cover up the noises of us eating, you
>> Yeah. And we got to be like, stay And then we're just hearing like sex slapping. It's like
You have just asses clapping and Ash is like, I'd rather hear you guys chew on food. I'd rather hear you guys chew. I
have a comment about ass clapping later. >> She has a great comment about it later.
Cuz she made it and I was like, you better tell them. >> it down. >> You better let them know.
>> She said, write that down. I said, write that down, girl. Oh, by the way, happy
[ __ ] Halloween, everybody. >> Oh, happy Yeah. Mother This comes out on Halloween. Yeah. Not the day of.
Halloween. >> days before. Happy almost Halloween, [ __ ] I hope you guys have the safest
time. Yeah, and the funnest time. >> And the funnest. The spookiest. >> And it was kismet. We, you know, we
released this the week of Halloween. I always get so sad though when Halloween is like almost here because I'm like,
no. I'm not ready for October to be over. No, I literally get like a depression that's coming because I know it's going
to be over. I always get like post-holiday depression like Christmas, my birthday, but Halloween hits
different. And I will not be taking down my decorations anytime soon. I also I didn't go nearly as hard as I wanted to
this year. I've been busy. We've been I've been busy. That has nothing to do with
anything. Happy Halloween. Let's get into the show. >> Yeah, let's go. So, we start off on the dark ass streets
of Louisiana Mhm. with the most early 2000s dressed couple you can possibly imagine, Brad and Kelly. Brad and Kelly.
And also the names are just perfect, Brad and Kelly. >> It's so early 2000s. >> Just makes makes sense. Kelly's driving
while her douchey looking boyfriend Brad is having a little passenger princess nap. But not for long because she wants
to get frisky. No, never in my [ __ ] life have I ever wanted to give a hand job ever.
>> Yeah, no. Certainly not in a car. >> No. Not in the car. Certainly not in the
road trip. Like, no. >> for me. >> No. I don't want I don't need carpal tunnel. You do not. And I'm driving. No,
my Driving is me time. And I'm sitting there. I'm listening to my music. I'm zoning out. Here's the thing. I'm having
my thoughts. I'm not driving, that's for sure. You'll never find me in the driver's seat. It won't be happening.
I'm just like expecting like when I'm driving on like 93 to see like a thing that's like, don't give handies.
Distracted driving's banned. Distracted driving. Distracted driving is banned. >> Mikey said this is the first indication
that we're in a fictional world. >> It's 100% true. Cuz there's no way. There's just no way. So, she's giving
full passenger prince treatment though until mid-stroke Brad sees a sign for True Blood and probably finishes early
with the excitement of it all. It was kind of wild that she's literally in the middle of giving him a hand job and he's
like, wait, I want that blood. >> Come on. That That That is the second indication that we're
in a fictional world. What man I know. Tell me. That's the thing. It's like, wait, I would like
that drink. Hold on, I'm thirsty. >> Yeah. Kelly slams on the brakes and skids into the liquor store where they
have a small TV showing a talk between Nan Flanagan of the American Vampire League and Bill Maher of Bill Maher.
of Bill Maher. >> Bill asks about Nan's race. So, we realize she's a vamp. And he's like,
don't you guys have kind of like a sorted history of feeding off innocent people? And Nan tells him Three points.
Number one, show me documentation. Doesn't exist. Number two, doesn't your race have a
history of exploitation? We never owned slaves, Bill, or detonated nuclear weapons. And most
importantly, point number three, now that the Japanese have perfected synthetic blood which satisfies all of
our nutritional needs, there is no reason for anyone to fear us. Honestly, she made valid points there.
>> She did. She ate him up. >> She ate Bill Maher without even eating him up. I also love that we have a new
Nanabob. Nan. Nan. Nan Flanagan. Oh my god. Nan Flanagan. We can just call her Flanabob. Flanabob.
Flanabob. We got Flanabob, everybody. And it makes sense with the accent now. Uh and there you have it. True Blood is
a drank for vamps so they don't have to feed off of humans anymore. Like Nan says, they just want to be part
of mainstream society, guys. That is cool. So, I didn't know like going into this like I just thought True Blood was
called True Blood because it's >> It's about vampires. I didn't realize it's a drink. And I think that's really
cool. >> I know, I love that. >> And that like vampires are now I didn't know that was the whole premise is that
they're trying to get into mainstream society. Yeah, integrate. >> Yeah. It is I like it. I like it a lot.
>> is really cool. >> It is. So, Kelly and Brad are stoked about this and they ask the very goth-y
vamp-looking cashier if they've got any vamps in the store now that they're selling True Blood. And the guy's like,
"Hell yeah, brother. You didn't even know that New Orleans is the Mecca for vampires?" And Brad assumes that all
vampires would have drowned in Hurricane Katrina, but the cashier's like, "Are you an idiot?"
He's like, "Vampires can't drown because" and this is when he changes to first person. He says, "We do not
breathe." >> We. Realizing he's talking to a vamp now, Brad backs off a little and is like, "Oh
[ __ ] sorry, dude. We're just drunk and stupid." But the cashier vamp doesn't mind. He tells Brad he could use a
cocktail. He said, "I'm going to eat you. I'm going to eat you." Kelly starts to cry and Brad which is like honestly
the appropriate reaction. >> Yeah, I know. I'd cry on him. She's like, "I used my
last 5 minutes of my life >> in the car. >> hand job and get carpal tunnel. >> And he made me swerve into this here
store to give him a half handy on the way here. Unbelievable. But Brad definitely shits himself, but
the cashier vamp just starts cracking up. Got him. He's not a vampire. He was just [ __ ] with them. And Kelly which
was like shocking. I was like, "You You radiate vampire." He does. I like what they do here.
Kelly's like, "Not cool, dude. Not funny." And Brad does not defend his lady and is like, "Nah, that was
actually pretty funny." But the gentleman behind them in line who looks nothing like what you would assume a
vampire looks like. >> what they do here. He agrees with Kelly and he says he didn't think it was funny
either. He looks like he's about to go hunting. And he he looks like he's about to go hunting. He looks like he came
here in a big old truck. >> Yeah. He looks like he's got his dog next to him. Like he looks like he looks
like he wrote a good old boy. He looks like a good old boy. He >> does. He's wearing a hat, a flannel. He
just looks like a regular dude. >> Yeah. And I love that they flipped it on its ear and the cashier is the
stereotypical and he's like, "Nah, I'm not." Yeah. This guy. This guy. So good. So, Brad So, he says he didn't think it
was funny either. Brad tells him they don't care what he thinks which I was like,
>> I think he also calls him like Billy Bob or something. >> Yeah. And turns back to the cashier to
see if he knows where they can score score some V-juice. Kelly is not interested though. She says, I knew this
girl who knew this girl who did vamp blood during Greek Week. She like clawed her own face off.
>> The guy in line behind them isn't having it either. He tells them they need to
leave. And Brad turns around and says, "Fuck you." But he regurgitates that real quickly when the man says,
>> [ __ ] me. I'll [ __ ] you, boy. I'll [ __ ] you. And then I'll eat you. I'm sorry. The
[ __ ] The wrong turn of it all was just like, "I'll [ __ ] you." And then I'll eat you. I was like, "This is my
favorite thing I have ever seen." Like that is so >> the moment where I said, "We made the
right decision." He said, "I am in." I said we I never had another suggestion about what we
should cover and I'm glad I did. You don't see that coming. You don't see that guy being the vampire.
>> think he's just grabbing beer. And then the when he is gets like real I'll [ __ ]
you. I'll [ __ ] you. And then I'll eat you. I was like, Oh. And he like the fangs shoot out and they're so big.
>> Yeah. They're so long. Scary. It's so scary. >> Uh the giant fang shoot out. Brad and
Kelly run the [ __ ] out of there and then the real I mean, the real vamp, the real
Slim Shady. He stalks up to the cashier and tells him if he ever pretends to be a vampire again, he'll come back there
and he'll kill him. And he grabs his True Blood and says, "Have a nice day. Have a nice day."
On account of the fangs and all. I love it. Have a nice day. Have a nice day. And then we get her intro music.
When you came in filled up with doubt. I don't know the words yet. >> We have not figured out what we're
We're workshopping that. That was us going into it saying, "I bet our collective energy will just know what to
do." And it didn't. Spoiler alert, it did not. >> try. That's fine. We'll figure it out, babes.
We will figure it out. I think we just need to pick one line and all say it together.
There you go. I think every week we should all just start wherever we feel is fit. It can
just be a cacophony every time. It would just feel like it'd be like the intro in assault. Yeah, the intro
assault. And then by the like the the third season, Mhm. we'll somehow all start on the same road. You know, we'll
get there. We'll sister sync. Yeah. I think the intro to this is so perfect. >> just going to say there's so much going
on in the intro. So, it's like Buffy where you try to watch it. It's It's very different, but it's like you try to
watch it and pick up what you can about the season. >> But it's It doesn't seem like clips from
the show this one. This seems more like themes. >> Like Louisiana. It's Southern Gothic. And it's cool. I think
that that's one of the coolest parts about this is like Buffy had its own vibe, but they set their vibe with I
with the music that they select because all of the music that they use in this is pitch perfect.
>> Yeah. Um like a spec like even when we meet, you know, people in the future. Like I feel like everything they choose
is super appropriate, but I love their soundscaping because there's so much just like crickets chirping and cicadas
and like they set >> Gothic of it all >> mood. is perfect. >> You You can taste it.
>> It's like your books. I just feel like especially like Southern Gothic for sure, but like in New Orleans
specifically, New Orleans becomes or like Louisiana becomes a character. Yes. It's like True It's like uh True
Detective, too. I didn't see that. >> Like the first season No, the first season. You saw it.
Oh, True Detective. I was like you you just watched it. Yeah. It's so true. Like Louisiana is
the character in this. It Something about that place just is wild. >> It is. Yeah. It's magical. It's wild.
>> It's energy. It's got It's palpable. I really love it though and I miss when I
feel like shows don't do these kind of intros anymore. I know. I agree with that.
>> like you don't get as many of these. >> It's always animated now and stuff like
that, but like Every now and again you get a good one. I love a good intro. I love a good vibey one cuz True
Detective was like that, too. It had those those those uh scenes that weren't in the
show, but they gave the vibe. Like the thematic >> Yeah. Vibe, yeah. Yeah, but it's we're
like we're in every single section of society. We're like They have like, you know, like a like Baptists like, you
know, people getting baptized, revival. Like There's wolves. There's like, you know,
some lady grinding up like on somebody else. >> People just hanging out at a bar. Yeah,
like it's just it's so cool. >> everything that you're potentially going to be a part of during this show.
But when we start, we pull up to Merlotte's now and inside we meet Sookie. Sookie. Sookie. Anna Paquin.
Yeah. We love Anna Paquin. She's such a good actress. I think she is stunning. >> She's beautiful. Like she is like one of
those that you go Like you know, like when you see her, it's like Her eyes are just
>> Yeah. ridiculous. She's just gorgeous. >> I love a gap between teeth. >> You love a gap tooth. I love it. I want
one so badly. I love it. I think it's so It makes somebody look so [ __ ] cool. It does. It's true. I love it.
>> like everybody who has a gap between their teeth um that I've seen is always somebody that I really really like and
they're like I'm drawn to them. I agree. Like their personality always is awesome.
I don't know what it is. So, if you got a gap tooth, send energy. You're pretty great.
Uh but yeah, we see that she's a waitress and she has the gift of telepathy. Gift? The gift.
>> I say that question mark. I say that uh tentatively. >> Yes. The gift. I remember too that this
was on when I was in school like high school. Cuz I remember it being a very big Halloween costume is Sookie's
waitress outfit. Really? Yeah. Must have been college. Uh it must have been college then. 2008. Yeah. Then it was
that It was college cuz I I just remember it being a huge Halloween costume. >> So, she hears one guy bargaining with
Jesus to just let him have one beer and then give him a strength to say no to beer number two which honestly broke my
heart. >> cuz he was so a sweet-looking man. >> was trying so hard. And a woman sitting
with her husband thinking to herself that he better not [ __ ] on her for eating fries after the disgusting acts
they committed last night in their bedroom even if she kind of liked it. And finally a teenager who thinks the
music in this bar is [ __ ] and that he can't wait to get out of this podunk town. And Sookie hears this obviously
and tells him, Well, make sure you do and before it's too late because every year you wait, you just get more and
more stuck here. Believe me, I know. And she's like, "Oops. My bad." Cuz she's like, "Excuse me?"
And she's like, "Oh, I'm sorry." cuz the whole family just stares at her like, "What the fuck?" So, she dips from the
table and kind of like centers herself as she walks away to turn off the noise of everyone's thoughts. Which is such a
cool way of introducing her character. >> way. Because it's like not it Everybody
thinks like, "Oh my god, it'd be so cool to read other people's minds." No, it wouldn't be.
>> so loud. >> It'd be [ __ ] awful. >> It'd be so Oh, I would hate to read other people's minds. That is like my
worst nightmare. As the episode goes on, too, you could see what a burden it is for her. Like oh. Being around men in
particular. Yeah, no thanks. No, thank you. I know. I would not want that. No. Um so next we head to Super Save-a-Bunch
and we meet Tara who is a [ __ ] queen. I love Tara so much. Running theme. I love Tara. Love Tara. Love and Tara
everywhere we go. I know. Very different Tara vibes. Very different Tara. Like total opposite of that. Yeah, like total
end of the spectrum. >> know what? Exactly. Spectrum of awesomeness. Yes. Spectrum of Tara.
She's just on a different spectrum of it. >> And actually from the fun fact, so from
the pilot to this episode, they actually recast her. Oh, really? Yeah, so there was a different actress that played her
in in the thing. I think she was the only part that was recast. I'm not really certain exactly why, but I love
Rutina. She is I'm just saying cuz they found a sister. She's She was so good. >> She's so good.
>> role 100%. Mhm. And she's just so talented in everything. Like she's been in The Last
of Us and stuff like that. She's just an amazing actress. >> She has a lot of duality. Like I love
how she can like tell a [ __ ] off and like read somebody to filth, but also she cares so deeply for Sookie. Oh,
yeah. For Sookie. And I love their friendship. >> And she clearly She has a big crush on
Jason and when she when he comes in and she just gives like a She might like a soft smile. It's like a real cheese
smile. Like And then she turns into a badass immediately afterwards. It's awesome. I just love the way that she
[ __ ] with people. It's incredible. Oh my god, I love her. But she's just chilling on some patio
furniture at Super Save-a-Bunch. She's reading a book. She's always reading a book. Always reading a book, which I
love. Yeah. Uh when a rather tall woman with an affinity for purple comes in and
asks her where she might find some Dexter Kill Room tarp TM in the store. Purple lady doesn't know what it's
called, but that's what she's describing and Tara tells her they don't have that.
Maybe they she should try some Home Depot. But the purple lady starts uh going full
Karen about that how she's already tried there and that Super Save-a-Bunch's website said they have everything. She
drove an hour and blah blah blah. And Tara tells her that if she looked at the store's website, she should have
seen the phone number and maybe should have called to see if they had Dexter Kill Room tarp TM before driving an hour
for absolutely [ __ ] nothing. But then she guesses that maybe this lady was just looking for an excuse to wear those
ugly ass clothes. Purple lady is appalled and asks to speak to a manager who almost falls off
a ladder when Tara calls for him. I [ __ ] love the way that she does. She's like, "Fine. Waylon!"
And like Fine. Purple lady almost like a little tiny droplet of a turd just like
rolls out of the bottom of her [ __ ] purple pants cuff. It is hilarious. Waylon!
Waylon! The woman tells her and Waylon, uh the manager, how rude Tara just was, but Tara interrupts and says, I'm not
saying rude. This is uppity. That's what patting my ass too much. I'm going to get my baby daddy just got out
of prison to come and kick your teeth in. Jesus, Tara, please don't do anything like
>> I'm not serious, you pathetic racist. I don't have a baby. Damn. I know y'all have to be stupid, but do
you have to be that stupid? Oh, [ __ ] this job. The fact that he calls over She just
slaps. And then she says that she's going to get her baby daddy who just got out of
prison. And then she's like, "You [ __ ] racist." I don't have a baby. I don't advocate for workplace violence
except in this one instance. >> that's for patting my ass too much. Waylon, it's too handy.
>> He touched her, so I'm touching you back. It might not be the same way, but I'm touching you.
>> self-defense. Now, Waylon. So that's that's our introduction to Tara and we all said
soul. >> Queen. >> Yes. I said soul. Yes. I said that's my girl. Back at Merlotte's, the
owner/bartender Sam gets a call. It's Tara and she needs to talk to Sookie and she tells Sookie that she
just quit her job and she's coming over because she needs a margarita, a [ __ ] huge margarita. Sookie can't believe
Tara quit another job, but Tara's like, "Sorry, dude. I can't work for assholes." #relatable.
Sookie agrees, but tells her that everyone works for [ __ ] Not all the time. Not now.
>> Sookie that Sam is not an [ __ ] and actually that he happens to be in love with her. And Sookie is scandalized by
that because gasp. I I was going to actually gasp, but I couldn't get a breath in.
>> "What do I do?" I said, "Should I actually gasp?" Because Sam is her boss. That is my boss.
>> That is my boss. He's my boss. My man My employer. My employer. He employs me. He's my boss.
Tara tells her to lighten the [ __ ] up, but it'll probably be a minute before Sookie does that because when she gets
off the phone, she hears the news that two of the town's finest delinquents are about to sit in her section, Mack and
Denise Rattray. They're [ __ ] They make you They're slamming. hate this couple immediately.
So deliciously cuz you are just like, "When do they die?" Like immediately. Yes. They're so Oh, they're grimy as
hell. She heads over to their table to ask what she can do for them tonight and hears nasty Mack think, "You can wrap
your sweet lips around my slim reaper. That's what you can do." And then You can
>> Slim reaper. Can we just Can we pause on that? Slim reaper. >> Here's the thing, I've never paused on
that. I've passed go. To To try to make a funny reference of like Grim Reaper, Slim Reaper. No my
god. Uh-uh. No my god. No. No my god. >> No. No. >> Uh-uh. Slim reaper. What? I hate it.
Uh but then he adds in, "And you can hop aboard the Mack Express and ride it all
the way to hell." All right. >> I would say are is he okay, but he's not. We know that. We don't need to ask.
We knew on impact that he was not okay. And we find out a little bit later why. Yeah. Yeah, so. Sort of. Yeah.
There's no excuse to be like this. Now, obviously Sookie looks disgusted and hella uncomfortable hearing that. And
nasty Mack's gal Denise thinks to herself that Sookie looks real weird and says as much to nasty Mack. Although she
has a different, less eloquent way of saying it. >> That aged like a human. Yeah, very much.
In the kitchen, we meet one of the cooks, Oh my god, I love him. >> I was waiting for you to meet
>> him. Lafayette. >> I love him. >> The minute we decided to do True Blood like halfway through Buffy, I was like,
"But when does Ash get to meet Lafayette?" >> No, I'm so excited. I think he If anything ever happens to him, I will
riot in the streets. I need you to know. I know. No, just the actor passed away.
Oh, he did? >> Yeah, the actor is no longer with us. >> Oh, I hate to hear that. He's so good.
>> He's amazing and it's like literally like in all honesty watching this like show originally like
that he was one of the actors that I would have loved to have met. >> Yeah, absolutely. Oh my god, can you
imagine? You had a friend who I looked at you and I didn't even know your friend very well. I just knew him
through stories and I literally was like, "Alaina." You were saying that he embodied that.
My friend David passed away right after me and John got married. And he is Lafayette. Like he is
>> Based on stories you would share and everything, I could like feel the essence shining through. Like Lafayette
calls everyone through with love. Hooka. Hooka. That's David. Like David called you the most
insane names, but it was like love. >> Out of love. And he was also someone if you walked
in, he'd be like, the second my roots were shitty, he'd be like, "Girl, What are you doing?" He's
like, "What the [ __ ] is going on here?" Like he wasn't just like, "Hey, you should touch your roots up." He was
like, "This is disgusting and you should fix it." >> about it. Everybody needs a friend like
that. And I loved him for it. Iconic. I love If I came in to see like cuz he used to work at this coffee shop and
when I would come in to see him, if I was wearing sweatpants, he'd be like, "You go outside like that?"
Like he was like, "What?" Do you know what? Dave Dave does that. >> That's Dave.
>> He'd be like, "Don't What are you doing? Like what's happening here?" I love him
a lot. Love him. I miss David. >> I totally As soon as I saw Lafayette like the first couple of lines he
delivered, I was like he sounds just like your friend David. It's true. That's why I love Lafayette so much cuz
it's it's like watching David. So we meet Lafayette who tells Sookie, Ooh, Sookie. Chica chica brow ra
You look like a porn star with that tan and pink lipstick. You got a date? That's That's also very David.
She tells him nah. She just gets bigger tips when she wears makeup and acts like
she doesn't have a brain in her head. >> I remember those days. When she's just herself, everyone seems to be afraid of
her. And Lafayette tells her they aren't afraid of her. They're afraid of what's
between her legs. >> The power of the [ __ ] Sookie is not here for that nasty talk.
But one of the other waitresses, Arlene exclaims asking if he even knows what's between a woman's legs. Another server,
Dawn, comes over and talks about how great her ass is, which she is correct. >> Yeah, great ass. Before walking away.
And also Arlene, is it Arlene who goes, "Peaches and cream, baby." Peaches and cream. And like bounces her boobs in her
head. And he's like, "Coco." Or like something like that. I'm like, "Coco. Coco." And
Sookie is just like, "Oh." Sookie is me in that moment. >> Well, fun fact about this this scene, it
was completely improvised. >> Holy [ __ ] really? >> good. Let me tell you something, working
in a restaurant, it's real. That is a legit scene. I have experienced that exact moment.
Well, Sookie is not about this life. All that nasty talk had her looking almost as uncomfortable as Ash did when the
next scene started. Blink, blink. And that's because we join Maudette Pickens in her living room
where she sits butt ass naked with Jason who's just going to town downtown, passionately, I dare say.
>> Yep. Before he stops abruptly when he sees two puncture wounds near her downstairs mix-up.
She says that they're just mosquito bites, but Jason's like, "Fuck you, damn girl. You [ __ ] a vampire?" And she
tells him that she went down to a vampire bar in Shreveport and that a vampire paid her a thousand bucks to let
him bite her. And Jason says he read in Hustler that everyone should have sex with a vampire
at least once in their life and asked what it's like. Maudette tells him it was scary and even
though she likes it rough sometimes, it was a little too rough for her. And Jason is a little taken aback that she
likes it rough, but Maudette tells him, Yeah. Why not? He's not just going to kill me.
And if it does, well, then I won't care, will I? He seems uncomfortable at this admission.
He's like shocked. I Okay, thank you. >> see him later, >> did Ash. She was like sitting there and
she was like, "I don't feel safe here." It was more just the fact that like titties out, she was like, "I yeah,
yeah, I like it rough, but if I die while my titties are out and I'm getting it rough, I don't even care cuz I'll die
happy woman with these titties out." You know what? That's so Maudette Pickens. You know. It is. It's very her.
It's just so I was also just shocked though that he he is like upset about it. >> I was like, "That's weird."
>> And he starts to get his shoes on to head out, but Maudette is clearly not ready for this spicy evening to come to
a close and admits that she actually videoed her vampire sex sexpede and she says, "You want to watch You want to
watch my sex tape?" Luckily, we go back to Merlotte's and Tara is lamenting about her life to Sookie and nursing her
previously mentioned big margarita. Sam interrupts them to ask how Sookie is doing.
Here's the thing, I the the actor that plays him, all I can think of every single time that I see him is that he
looks like Rabbit from Winnie the Pooh. Oh my god. >> And he gives off those vibes. Why does
that make so much sense? What the [ __ ] >> He not only kind of looks like that,
like he doesn't look like a rabbit, but he looks like that character. >> was a rabbit, he would look like that.
That's what it is. That's a perfect way to say it. And he does have those vibes.
>> Yeah. And for the record, I don't like him. She don't like him. And I don't think I ever will. No.
I wow, I'm very shooketh. Yeah, that's that's a stupid It's all I can think when I see
him. >> It's so weird. >> Even now, like even now, especially now that he has gray hair, it's like forget
it. He is Rabbit from Winnie the Pooh. I do. Shut up. You just trail off. I love Winnie the Pooh.
>> Let's cover that next. She tells him she better she had better nights and he asks what he can do to
improve this one, clearly looking for an in. When the music gets kind of serious
and sexy all at the same time and a dark-haired stranger walks in. Everyone turns to look at this man's,
but he and Sookie are the ones who share a real moment. They lock eyes. I love the way that they do this because they
dim the lights like in the rest of the restaurant and they focus in and it's literally just the two of them. It's so
theatrical and like it's like on stage and I just love this little moment that they did because like literally he took
the air out of the room. >> He very much did. And it's so like in like it's so close to the way that it
happens in the book because the the first season is pretty faithful to the first book of the
the Sookie Stackhouse thing. I think it's called Dead After Dark. Um >> I didn't even know it was a Yeah, so
it's a whole entire series, but the it's so faithful to it. Like they obviously embellish like certain characters and
all that stuff like Tara wasn't that big of a part >> Okay. Um like you have to do when you
adapt to the screen, but like uh they caught this moment perfectly. >> You can hear like a buzzing. And like
it's not there, obviously, but it's like you can hear it. Well, the the actors who play Sookie Mhm. and a pack when and
the actor who plays the vampire who we shall not name yet, they met on the set of True Blood, I'm pretty sure.
>> Yeah. And they like fell in love. >> Yeah, cuz they're married now, right? >> I'm pretty sure they're still married. I
don't know. I think they are. I'm pretty sure they are. I'm I I'm trying not to Google too much.
>> Their Mikey's going to look it up, but their chemistry palpable is out of this world in my opinion. Like
you can see it right here. They locked each other. I love their scenes together. Like when it's just the two of
them interacting, I love their scenes. Yep, they're married still. Oh, they're going strong. They've been married since
2010 and they got two babies. They got two babies. I love that. That makes this even
better. >> That's beautiful. It really does. Come on the show. >> Come on the show together. I know. Um
please come on the show. Now we start the come on the show. Yeah. So we'll start campaigning.
>> we're just going to have to do it every single time a new character comes on the
thing and it's going to be like, you know, Rutina, come on the show. I have one holy grail.
I know. Who? Listen. Who shall be coming Here's the thing, I know that Alexander
Skarsgård is a part of this and Alexander Skarsgård, come on the show. >> your official invitation. This is all
hand deliver it. Let's go. Come on the show. Please. Alex. All right, so uh Alexander
Skarsgård, come on the show. So she tells him Or no, it gets real sexy and everything.
They lock eyes and all that. The moment eventually breaks when she turns around filled with absolute glee and announces
to Sam and Tara that she's pretty sure Merlotte's just got its first vampire. I feel like they should have like a bell
that they ring. Sam agrees and Sookie asks, Can you believe it? Right here in Bon Temps?
I've been waiting for this to happen ever since they came out of the coffin two years ago. Since they came out of
the coffin. It's Bon Temps, right? >> Bon Bon Temps. Bon Temps. The Bon Temps. It's like a little you hit the P like
slightly. >> Bon Temps. Just a little tiny bit. So like if there's an S at the end of a
French thing, >> It's silent. that no then you you'd say the the thing slightly before it. So if
it was just Bon like if there was no S, you'd just say Bon Temps. But because there's the S, you say Bon
Temps. Oh, I see. >> little tiny bit of a Bon Temps. Got it, got it, got it. You don't have to
include that. Um I think you should. That's French. That's French. That's so French. That's French with Michael.
Oui, oui. Uh she heads over to take his order and kind of clumsily flirts with him. Unfortunately, they don't have True
Blood at Merlotte's because Sam ordered some a while back, but no one ever ordered it and it went bad. She informs
him that he's their first vampire. And he wonders if he's really that obvious and Sookie tells him she knew
that he was a vamp as soon as he came in, but she doesn't think anyone else noticed.
>> he is so [ __ ] like pale. >> He's a vampire, period. He's from a different time. Like he's clear. Can I
just get something off my chest? He's a vampire that needs to wash his greasy hair.
>> He does need to wash his hair. It is It is like He does. >> so Can I get something off my chest?
It reminds me of like in Scream 2 when they have like fake Billy Loomis and Tori Spelling talking in the middle of
the hall, it's like his hair is like that. >> Yeah, you're not wrong at all. It really
is. >> Real bad. Oh, I want to watch Scream 2 now. Same. Uh but yeah, he's like, "Oh
my god, did someone else notice?" And she's like, "No, not at all. You just look like you're from the Civil War, but
it's cool." Uh Since they don't have True Blood, the vampire asked for a glass of red so he
can have a reason to be here. Sookie tells him whatever the reason, she's glad he is. And she's really
shooting her shot here, it seems. Like there is a lot of chemistry brewing between them, but of course nasty Mac
has to interrupt and tell the vampire that Sookie is crazy as a bed bug. >> Don't mind Sookie. Don't mind Sookie.
>> She's as crazy as a bed bug. But they do be crazy. They do. Bed bugs do be. Uh he introduces the vampire to Denise
and let me tell you, honey, we knew they were up to no good. We done knew. We said, "Oh, no." But before we find out,
we go back to Maudette's sex dungeon, I mean, living room where she's rubbing all up on Jason as he's watching the
vampire sex tape. Now, I just have to say, watching Ash watch Jason watch Maudette get tenderized like a slab of
beef by account or [ __ ] was a life-changing moment for me. It was life-changing for all of us. Really,
it meant something to me. Like she went from like pink to red to mauve to like like literally the colors should be
like replicated by Mel by Bailey Sarian. Please They're going to be the Pantone colors of the of the year. Honestly,
please do like a True Blood rewatch like shades of red for us. Oh my god, absolutely.
At Melt Cosmetics, honey. I actually we have a water cooler that doesn't have a view of the television
and I did walk over there for a quick minute to myself. >> a water cooler moment.
>> had to regroup. >> She had like a catatonic moment. >> And it makes sense. It makes sense
though. >> the But it wasn't even that. I hate that. It wasn't even like cuz like account or [ __ ] It's more like
No, his his [ __ ] is like a [ __ ] TheraGun. It's just like It is It is just like
like tenderizing that muscle cramp, baby. It's like a TheraGun. It is like a TheraGun. That is the perfect way to
describe it. >> cramp, baby. It's like a construction site. It's getting rid of her vaginal
wall. I'm like, "What is going on?" She And also that vampire is so icky. He's so gross and the sound is like
It's like I hate it. You sound like Donald Duck right now. What are you doing? He looks at the camera too and
he's like It's the worst. Call you something. Call or call Do you like call or call?
>> No, no, no. I was going to say I was going to walk out of this room, baby. He looks like a guy that I went to
hair school with. Okay. That's nice. You ruined it all the part I was saying. That guy you went to hair school with is
like [ __ ] you. No. No, I think that's kind of the look he went for. He's going for that look.
He's probably happy. He's going for that I could fair gun you to death. I mean not
Goodbye. Oh my god. >> watching that [ __ ] He seems to realize that he's sitting pretty much exactly in
the same spot where Maudette was getting tenderized because he looks up and sees
the hook that she was tied to. This boy is getting ideas, folks. Shit's about to
get somehow even weirder. Now at Merlotte's, the vamp has joined Nasty Mack and his wife Denise at their
booth. Sookie and Tara watch them chat and Sookie thinks Denise is such a [ __ ]
What a [ __ ] I [ __ ] love how she's immediately territorial. She's like mm. [ __ ] that [ __ ] She's like that's my
vampire. And honestly good for her because I too would immediately get territorial. So First of all, you have a
husband already or a man. >> Yeah. And this is my vampire. We have chemistry. Exactly.
>> And they're trash. Like she's had said that they're gross and they have proven
it with their minds. >> Oh and they continue to prove it. Yeah, they're disgusting. Because you
know she and this vampire are really vibing before Denise and Nasty Mack had to butt their dumb asses in. And Tara
thinks it's wild how many people are [ __ ] vampires nowadays and how scary it is that a lot of those people just
disappear. And Sookie knows that this vamp isn't the type of vampire who's just looking
for his next victim though. Even though she only talked to him for about a minute and a half. She caught his vibe
and doesn't think he's scary at all. And besides there's true blood now. She caught his vibe.
She didn't catch his vibe. Oh my god. I don't mind if you give me a second. Like Hey, I asked what
what did you what what vibe? She didn't catch his sweet vibe, baby. with the southern
accent. Caught his vibe. It was the extent vibe. It was the extent vibe. She caught his vibe.
Baby, are you ready for the ride? Oh my god, I'm laughing like Eddie Burphy again. Stop it, lady. Oh lord.
Oh, so she caught his vibe. So at the Nasty Mack table, Denise is all over the vamp telling him she
understands how hard it is not to be able to be what people want you to be. Caught his vibe.
They're like stop laughing. But I can get you guys like really laughing. It's my favorite thing. With a southern
accent with the like I don't know why but you like this is not going to make any sense. This is a
this is a caffeine thing but you sounded like a fly to me. I like that. It was like
Sookie goes over to see how they're doing and that's when we see what the Nasty Mack squad is really up to. Sookie
hears Denise thinking Not that big but he still probably got 11 or 12 pints and I'm holy [ __ ] that's
almost 200 oz that we could get 500 oz in Dallas. [ __ ] me that's $10,000. Sweet Jesus. She's good at math. Damn, I
know I was going to say I could just doing the ounces and grams I'd be I'd be like yeah, I don't know how much that
is. >> Maybe she's a drug dealer. I know they're good at math. I'm like damn that's like real good
though. >> That's how you know if somebody's [ __ ] you over or not. Like well like
we heard earlier with Kelly and Brad, people do vampire blood as kind of a drug. So there's good money to be made
in selling it. Sookie panics and announces abruptly that she's going to go get them all a free round of beer and
makes it a point to tell the vamp not to go anywhere. She runs to the back to tell Tara what
the Nasty Macks are up to and that they need to help the vamp before he gets hurt. But Tara says no, ma'am. She isn't
getting involved in anything vampire related. Sam overhears and tells Sookie that Tara's right and a vampire should
be able to take care of himself anyway. Sookie can't believe how small-minded they're all being but she doesn't have
time to get into it with them because when she turns around she finds the Nasty Mack booth empty.
No. She's like I told you not to leave you [ __ ] She rips off her apron and runs outside and Sam tosses his apron to
Tara and tells her to figure out how to bartend so he can stop Sookie. Outside Sookie listens to the
environment and tells her and uses her telepathy skills to tune into where the Nasty Macks are at. She runs that way
but stops at a truck. >> them Mack Attacks. >> Mack Attacks. The Mack Attacks. She runs that way but stops at a truck
and grabs a chain before heading slowly into the woods. We have a [ __ ] resourceful queen on our hands.
We [ __ ] love it. Now back at Merlotte's, I have to say I really hope she stocked up on cranberry juice,
y'all. It's been hours and this girl is still getting railed. >> I know. Jason is really whipping up her
cream. Damn. Aw, if we only had video for that reaction. Ash's eyes just went huh?
She just looked off into space like woah. She said I got to go. >> I really am here. She said I'm getting
paid for this. What a cool life. Now her hands are tied and hooked up like they were with the
vampire sex tape and Jason is just going to town from behind. >> Mhm. He's uh fair gunning her. Yeah. As best he can.
No, he's he doesn't have that really fast >> have that ability but he's trying. Yeah.
He's trying, you know? That's all that counts. >> gun when it runs out of battery and it's
just kind of like thump thump. The lowest the lowest I don't like the dick. I don't like the dick. I hated I don't
like an ass clap. It was never really romantic what they were doing before but now it's gone decidedly feral I would
say. Yeah. Jason has taken on um what Ash referred to as a kind of a dom role. I just picture her like sitting in like
an like a a fancy overstuffed armchair with a book in her hand just taking another glass of wine. Um I just think
that he's kind of taking on a bit of a dom role. We're taking turns writing this now so I
wrote the script for this one. And figuring out how to describe this moment was one of the toughest feats
I've encountered. Guys, I can't wait for my week. It's going to be so gross. Terrified. I'm so scared. You take the
word tenderized out of your vocabulary. So so like Ash said, he's he's taking on
a bit of a dom role here. And he starts to choke Maudette but like in a sexy way? Quite frankly his dirty talk would
hurt my feelings. Very nice. That's mean. I'd be like hey. Hey. I don't think you'd be in this situation with him but
you know. >> I can I can tell you with 100% certainty I would not be in this situation. You
can stand 10 toes down. 10 toes down, honey. I might have found myself in a situation similar many many moons ago
but not these days. But not damn. Similar to this. Holy [ __ ] Not to that. I was like I was like we missed a part
of your history. Not to that but you know I was more reckless. Now before before we have the joy of
escaping the scene, we see that Maudette has a video camera tucked away recording
their entire tryst. Recording their entire tryst. And it is next to the creepiest [ __ ]
doll I've ever seen in my life. >> didn't even see the doll because I was so emotionally scarred.
I was emotionally scarred by the doll. See, Ash she wanted you to be. Now in the woods, the Nasty Macks, the
Mack Attacks have the vamp captive and they've laid a silver chain across his neck and his wrists which is apparently
excruciating for a vampire. And it's like eating into his skin. >> Oh, it's like melting it.
>> It's melting it and like the special effects are really [ __ ] good. Denise has his arm all tied up and
is draining his blood into pouches while she and Mack argue. Mack says he needs some V juice real bad but it doesn't
look like he's going to have some anytime soon if Sookie has anything to do with it. And this explains why he was
such a horn ball before and he was like sitting there and wanted him to hop on his uh slim reaper. Yeah. Does V juice
make you horny? Yeah. Oh. >> you going. I see. Um she sneaks up behind them, Sookie does, and whacks
Mack in the back with the whacks Mack in the back. It's like it's Whacks Mack in
the back. Whacks Mack Mack Attack. Oh my god. This is whacking Mack in the back with the chain she took from the truck.
Bam, [ __ ] went down. Sookie, super [ __ ] Uh unlike Gail Weather's though, Mack
has a dagger in his back pocket which I wish Gail Weather's also had a dagger in
her back pocket cuz that would have made for a different scene. Yeah. Uh he whips
it out and tries to use it on Sookie. Uh he whips it out. He whips it out. Not his slim reaper. No, thank god. Uh
before he can get her, she whips the chain at him and it wraps itself around his neck choking him. It is magical.
This was very interesting to me. Yeah. Yeah. Cuz obviously like Sookie has telepathy like Yeah. But later on the
vamp like we'll see he keeps asking like what are you? What are you? And I do feel like she has a like more she has
more supernaturalness to her than just the telepathy. What Ash, is that your first wooden stake
stab? >> That's my I'm not sacking. I'm not sacking. I'm not sacking. But that that is my first wooden stake stab. I
love it. Uh so yeah, it's pretty it's pretty rad how it all shakes out here. It's just
the way that it like wraps perfectly around his neck like very clearly very tightly. Yeah. And Denise tries to grab
the dagger which fell in the scuffle, but Sookie's quicker than that and grabs it first. Denise is like, "Honey, the
lamp." Actually no, she says, "Honey, do you have any idea who you're messing with? You don't want to be on my bad
side." And Sookie tells her, I'm not so sure you even have another side, you know, count backwards trash. Denise
couldn't care less about the name calling. She just walks over to the vamp and tries to take the blood she was able
to get from him before Sookie interrupted. Oh well, Mack is straight up choking. By the way, she has not
removed that thing from his neck. >> uninterested in not lending him a hand. And good. And Denise is so uninterested
in the entire thing. She just wants the blood. And when she goes to get the blood, Sookie is like, "Hell no, girl,
you got to get out of here and you're not taking any of that." I feel like she has no idea what she's gotten herself
into, but our girl Sookie is being very mega brave right now. Yeah, she's like me when I have a tummy ache. Yeah, but
she's being very brave. >> Being really brave about it. >> Denise will probably shank her later.
And she pretty much says as much while she packs up her purse and storms off with Mack choking behind her.
Uh Sookie tends to the vamp and slowly pulls the silver chain off his wrists and neck. This is where we get the
gnarly special effects though. It makes my skin crawl. >> It's peeling his skin off at the same
time and there's all these tiny phrase of skin. It's like a gnarly mozzarella cheese pull.
>> That is exactly what I thought. >> soon as I saw it, that's what I thought. I thought of a triple dipper. Yes, a
triple dipper. >> And I will never look at a triple dipper the Guys, I'm doing a formal thing.
Please never mention uh mozzarella cheese pull and ruin that for me. Please and thank you.
>> I'm sorry. I couldn't think of a single other thing. >> what it looks like. >> If I could, I'd fire you, Ash.
>> I'd shank you. Maybe you can We'll give everybody the power to fire him. So, Denise and presumably Mack, who
knows if he even made it to the car, speed by and almost run Sookie and the vamp over while Denise shouts that
she'll get Sookie for this and her little dog too. She doesn't say the dog part, but a random dog does appear and
just barks and licks Sookie's face for a minute. >> random. >> Yeah. This dog is so cute. Uh like Emmy
Award >> Adorable. I love the dog. Give this dog an award. Kind of reminds me of the dog
from Good Dog. Oh, yeah. >> bit. I haven't seen Good Dog. Mhm. I've seen the the uh previous like the
previous for it. It's not I could not watch it. >> It wasn't for me. Aw. I will not be watching
>> so random though. I'm like >> He's very random. I did not expect this. >> Yeah. All of a sudden he's just like,
"Woof." And he's so [ __ ] cute. >> sweet though the way he just like licks her face. And she's so adorable in this
moment too. She just giggles while he licks her face. >> And the vampire says the pup must be
checking on Sookie, but Sookie's like, "I don't know. I think he's just a random dog that lives around here." And
she says it seems like the vamp isn't too happy about being saved by a woman and then takes a minute to try to tap
into her thought hearing abilities. Try as she might though, she can't hear this
man's at all. And interestingly, she's pretty excited about it. I mean, it's probably one of the best moments ever.
Yeah, she literally runs over to him and grabs his face with both her hands saying, "Oh my stars."
>> I love that. >> I love that so much. I that says oh my stars. >> Oh my stars.
And he asks her if she's afraid to be out in the middle of the woods alone with a vampire because they're kind of
known to turn on people who are too trusting. But Sookie tells him humans do that [ __ ] too.
>> I love that response. >> true. >> It's so valid. >> While she tells him this, she wraps the
silver chain around her neck to make sure he can't bite her. >> Yeah. But he tells her that there are
other arteries, even juicier ones. In fact, his particular favorite is in the groin. See, I think this is That's the
kind of chemistry I'm looking for. Brown chicken brown cow. Just a little bit of spice. Just a
little bit of spice. That is my genre. >> Yeah, they go a little bit of a little
bit of spice. I do like I like the sexual tension. >> Yes. >> That's the That's my favorite part.
>> And if we know one thing about Sookie, she so far it's that she will not have
this sexy talk so soon into their relationship. She tells him, You just shut your nasty mouth, mister. You might
be a vampire, but when you talk to me, you will talk to me like the lady that I am. I love her so much.
>> She's a bad [ __ ] for that. >> And the vampire continues to test her though and asks if she wants to drink
the blood Denise got from him, and Sookie doesn't. Even when he tells her that it makes humans feel more healthy
and adds to their sex life. Little does this guy know, Sookie is as healthy as a
horse and she doesn't be [ __ ] on the reg at all. So, she doesn't need his vampire blood. She's like, "I don't
fuck." Not a problem. >> I think she literally says, "I have no sex life to speak of." Yeah, she's like,
"So, I don't care." And she tells him she wouldn't touch it in fact, wouldn't even want to sell it. He's confounded by
this and just by Sookie in general. And he gets up and moves over to her in a flash like Edward Cullen. That was
upsetting. And asks her what she is. And she's obviously nervous cuz he's all up
in her space, but she's like, "Little old me? I'm just Sookie Stackhouse, waitress extraordinaire. And what's your
name?" Now, y'all, this is when we find out that this mythical creature of the night is named
Bill. His name is Bill. His name is Bill. It's Bill, but we are never going to say
Bill. >> His name is Bill. I refuse to say it any other way except Bill. Bill. It's Bill.
It's [ __ ] Bill, guys. Bill Compton. And Sook Sook our girl Sookie, she has the most appropriate
reaction to this. She goes, Bill? I thought it might be Antoine or Basil or or or like Langford maybe, but
Bill? The vampire Bill. Oh my I love how she's like, "Oh my god." I like what she says, "Vampire Bill."
And I love that she's like Antoine Langford. Like Langford goes crazy. Did she also say Basil or Basil? Does
she say Basil or Basil? I can't remember. I don't know. But she trails off a bit, then asks about the silver of
it all and tells Bill she thought that was only a werewolf thing. And he tells her not to share that information with
anyone about what silver does to vampires because they don't really love their weaknesses being made public now
that everyone wants to score their [ __ ] blood. >> Mhm. She tells him she won't and that
she's got to get back to work. And then she just saunters away from that steaming counter unwrapping the silver
chain from her neck as she turns her back on Bill. I love that little detail that she's turning her back on him, but
clearly trusts him. Yeah, I love that. >> She runs into a worried Sam on her way
back in and tells him for his information she's fine and that not all vampires can take care of themselves.
She loves a I told you so moment. Oh, honey, I know she does. Now, inside Merlotte's closing up for the night and
everyone's packing up and Tara's wiping down the bar. Sam thanks her for helping
out and offers her 20 bucks, but she's like, "Honey, I will not be working here for 20 bucks a night a night. You got to
be kidding me." Sam tells her he doesn't really want her to work there all the time at all. It
was kind of just did not offer you a job. You don't work here. It was kind of just a one-time
deal in in a pinch sort of thing. He doesn't need her going off on customers after all. And Tara tells him she only
goes off on stupid people. And he's like, "Yeah, exactly. Most of my customers are stupid people."
But Tara has a point to make. She says, Yeah, but I can help you keep an eye on Sookie.
You see the way she was looking at that vampire? That is just trouble looking for a place
to happen. She means too much to both of us laying thing happen to her. >> And with that, she's hired. Sam says,
"Okay." >> Okay. Now, in walks Jason, post-coitus. He looks like guilty as hell. Yeah, I
was like, "What just happened?" >> This is when we find out he's Sookie's brother and he's looking for her. Sam
tells him that Sookie already went home. So, Jason takes a seat at the bar and Tara gives him a beer and a hello. And
that's when she does the like Sookie Sookie Sookie like smile. It is so cute. >> She's so good at it. Like she goes right
into it. He barely looks up and it clearly annoys her. She's like, "Hello, I've been your sister's best friend for
years, Tara." And he tells her he knows who she is and she's like, "Good, you better."
Then Dawn interrupts the chat and it's clear that she and Jason have a thing. Tara looks on as Dawn plays a game of
cat and mouse before ultimately telling Jason very spicily the one place she really, really wants to go. And it's
home. She goes, "Is home." >> It is home. You can go shave your back now. Bye, Jason. You can go shave all we have
to have you can go shave your back now. You can go shave your back now. We'll provide you with that clip, y'all.
Tara speaks for the viewer and tells Jason he's just one big parody of himself and he throws her a tip before
running out. We get an outside perspective of Sookie returning home like someone's watching
her from the bushes or something. It's pretty creepy. She tells her grand hello and then we actually go inside with them
as the viewer and she tells grand that a real vampire came into the bar for the first time tonight. Grand is the cutest
thing that has ever existed. I She's precious. need to tell you right now that if anything happens to grand again,
I will riot in the streets. I I get it. >> I love her. She's everything to me. I
love her. She's such a excellent matriarch and fun fact, she's also reading Last Scene Alive by Charlaine
Harris who is the writer of the Sookie Stackhouse series. >> cool. I love that. That's fun.
She's sitting there reading a book with a big old cat on her lap. That cat also is the most adorable cat. I love a gray
cat. And you're like, "I'm saying it right now. If anything happens to that cat, I will riot in the streets." I will
riot in the streets. Now, grand wants all the details. Did he have fangs? Did he bite anyone? Did you like him? And
Sookie feels, you know, she decides not to fill grand in on all that like really
intense sexual tension of her first encounter with Bill and just settles on the word interesting to describe him.
You know, Bill is interesting. But Gran is a girl's girl and she can read between the lines. Sookie obviously
thought he was a fine ass gentleman. I love Gran just has this like knowing smile. Okay, [ __ ] She's like okay,
girl. He's interesting. Now Sookie heads to bed and proceeds to have almost sex dream about Bill.
She sees him looking all old-timey and like you know, she she's into it. Oh yeah, she thinks he is she thinks he is
sexy. Sexy. Bill is so sexy. Bill is looking sexy. Standing below her bedroom window. And she runs out there ready to
claim her prize, but he's gone. Or at least she thinks he is until he suddenly appears behind her. And she turns and
sees him unbutton his shirt and tells him I never thought I'd be having sex with you.
At least not so fast. I mean, do you say what you feel, girl? Just in her dream like,
damn, we going to [ __ ] right now? Why is everyone in Bon Temps so damn horny? >> I know. I know. I mean, Bon Temps means
good times. >> there you go. So maybe that's why. >> the blood. >> There you go.
>> DNA. Yeah. I just love that she was like, I I never thought I'd be having sex with you. And then she's like, I did
actually, just not so fast. I guess it's all right. It's like, I didn't think about that. She's like, editor's note.
But Bill, he isn't here for sex. Uh he's here to weirdly lick his fangs at her, which
Hot? Hot? Here's the thing, I'm going to put this right out here right out right at right
out of the gate. Bill isn't Bill is not my Excuse me. He's not my thing. This character is not
my thing. I love their chemistry. Love them. Root for them. Love them. Love them. And I love him as a character. I'm
not into him. >> Yeah. Like I'm not just like Bill. You wouldn't have sex with him about Bill.
No. He was not in a sex dream. >> No, he would not be in my dreams. Um Someone might be. Someone's coming
later. Someone's coming pretty soon, actually. That would be >> Hey, oh. Uh just saying.
But yeah, so she's like, hot. Suddenly I'm sorry. You need to back it up. It's just the way that Bill licks his fangs
at her. He's so strange. Like I don't know if that was meant to be sexy or scary.
>> think it's supposed to be both. Okay. I think it was supposed to have like that
little danger element. But she's also like, hot. All right. Yeah. Suddenly Sookie wakes up and just plops back down
on her bed like, damn, that was weird and hot, but ultimately unsatisfying. The scene transitions to Sookie laying
back on a lawn chair outside getting her tan on. She looks so beautiful here. She
has such a like vintage girl vibe. She does and she kills it. I love it. Jason pulls up and tells her he heard all
about her scuffle with the nasty Max the night before and local friend Hoyt Fortenberry, which is a just the name of
the century. Hoyt Fortenberry. Hoyt Fortenberry told him all about it at work that morning and said that Denise
was so mad she pulled up to the house like she wanted to kill someone and then made Hoyt drive Max to the hospital the
next town over before she would sell him any weed. Hoyt is just Hoyt sounds like
like a sound effect. >> Yeah. Hoyt. Hoyt. Hoyt. Hoyt. It sounds like the thing you do in
football. >> Yeah. Hoyt. Hop hop. Yeah. Hoyt. Yeah. Hoyt, I get it. I get it. Now Jason offers to kick Max's ass once
he hears that he pulled a knife on Sookie, but he's also wondering why the hell she was messing with them in the
first place. And she tells him Well, did you know that in addition to dealing drugs that the rats also happen to be
vampire drainers? Yep. One of my customers last night was a vampire and they were draining him out
in the parking lot. I couldn't have that. Jason doesn't want her getting mixed up with any vamps, but
she's like, listen, even if you don't like them, you can't just go around letting people drain their blood and
leave them to die in the woods. She's like, I have a moral compass, thank you. >> Yeah, come on. All of a sudden Jason
gets super weird though and wants to know what the vampire looked like. And Sookie says he was handsome in an
old-fashioned way. And Jason clearly thinks it's the vamp from Maudette's sex tape. And he follows up with bald,
tattoos. And Sookie's like, nope, not Does he make this sound? Does he sound like Donald Duck? Does he
do that? Does he get really bad leg cramps? Stop it. She's like, no, he has good hair
actually and no tattoos that she could see. I the way she says that. I know, she's like, not that I could see. And
luckily Gran comes around the corner and beckons Jason to hug her neck. She's like, hug my neck.
Hug my neck. Goes crazy. And he doesn't. Around the midsection. I swear I was a southern nana in a past
life. >> You come here and hug my neck. I'm going to say that to the kids and see how they
react. Hug my neck. Come over here and give TT's neck a hug. Uh In the kitchen of the Stackhouse
residence, Jason and Sookie are enjoying some fried chicken for lunch when Gran walks in and hangs up the phone. She
tells them she just got off the phone with Evelyn Mason and that Maudette Peckins, all these names. So good.
>> Perfect. >> all these characters is like the author. She was found dead in her apartment that
morning strangled to death. Sookie can't believe it. She went to high school with Maudette.
>> Did she? And we were like, yeah? Was Maudette a senior? But Jason you times. Maudette say what? Wow.
But Jason says it's not that crazy that there's been a murder in Bon Temps now that they have vampires in town. Sookie
gets defensive. Not all vampires. But Jason tells her that fangbangers go missing all the time in the surrounding
areas. Vamps kill them and then dispose of their body bodies. Gran is shocked by
this and asks, "What's a fangbanger?" Sookie tells her it's They're men and women who like to get bitten. It's a
kink of sorts. But Sookie doesn't realize didn't realize Maudette was a fangbanger and more importantly, she
wants to know how Jason knew that. He overreacts obviously, slamming his fists on the table and telling them that he
does. He just does. The same way that Sookie just knows things sometimes. And he tells them There's also
hookers who specialize in vampires. They drink true blood to keep their supply up. And they keep a bodyguard
there in case the vamp gets a little too frisky. Gran thinks that's disgusting. She says, "What kind of woman would do
that?" That's disgusting. That's disgusting. Sookie thinks that's [ __ ] that they
get paid a thousand dollars for that when she busts her ass on her lawn for much less.
Jason gets up to head out and thanks Gran for lunch, but Sookie can tell something's up and follows him out the
front door. She grabs her his shoulders and tries to tap into his thoughts. And she succeeds and probably hears more
than she bargained for. His inner monologue is guilty as hell. He literally thinks this can't be happening
to me. How could I lose control like that? How could she But before Sookie hears even more, Jason loses it and
tells her I don't want that with me, goddammit. I'm your brother. Then he's out the door.
At a construction site he's a quote unquote working at, Jason's just sitting around shirtless in a lawn chair talking
on the phone with Dawn. He's trying to talk her into some sexy time, but Dawn is a hot girl TM who knows her worth and
she's more than just Jason She has more than just Jason to have a good time with. Luckily for her, the long arm of
the law shows up and cuts the phone call short. Sheriff Dearborne and Detective Andy
show up and want to talk to Jason about Maudette's untimely death. I realize it's Louisiana and all, but Jason is
sweating. Pop the Molly, he's sweating. >> he's flipping, he's flopping around like
a fish when it comes to his answers. He's like really not good at being a potential murderer.
>> No, not at all. He's just not. Um And first he tells them he really only knows
Maudette from the Grab It Quick store. Grab It Quick. It's literally spelled g r a b b i t k w i c k. Grab It Quick. I
was looking at a transcript. I was like, wow, Grab It Quick. >> Yeah, she used to work there and that he
didn't know she was murdered. Then he tells them actually he did know she was killed because Gran told him at lunch.
Then the sheriff and detective are like, yeah, you were in her apartment last night, right? And this [ __ ] acts
like he would never touch Maudette with a ten-foot pole one second and then the next second he's admitting that yeah,
they [ __ ] I think oops. That's different. So dumb. He's so dumb. >> dumb. So dumb. That's so Jason.
I would say that's putting it lightly that they [ __ ] In fact, I I'm like, you do know each other. Yeah,
biblically. Yeah, on many levels. The officers ask him to characterize the sex, but before he can
assault us with that, they tell him that Maudette was taping the whole thing and
they've seen the tape and that he needs to come down to the station with them. Jason realizes he should have known
Maudette was taping the whole thing. And before getting into the back of the sheriff's cruiser, he hands the job off
to his coworkers Rene and Hoyt. He he is all like he has a a 24-hour erection, so it totally makes sense that
he is uh this you know, brain powered. Yeah, yeah, it's all going to one place. It's all going to one place. It's true.
Um I have a confession. Rene who's working this uh I almost said who's working this crime scene. Who's working
this construction site? I think he's really attractive and I just want to get that off my chest. Thank you.
>> that to us earlier. And I said >> She shook her head at me. I said, I knew it. You did. I saw you look at me as
soon as he came on I saw that man and I looked over at Ash and I was like, just say it. He he's very attractive.
>> I also love his accent, but you were telling me he got a lot of [ __ ] for that
accent. >> Yeah, it's not real. Damn, it's a put on accent. >> it was so good. I know, it's the real
one of those accents is really cool. I know, I love like the like Cajun accent. It's very pleasing to the ear. So, yeah.
The confession thing. >> Renee was your thing. Uh but but he can be your thing. I don't
know what to tell you. I also don't know anything about the character, so stop judging me.
>> Yeah. No no problem. Now, back at the back of the house, Sookie is getting ready to head into work when Gran comes
in wondering how old vampire Bill is. She's hoping he remembers the Civil War and thinks that if he does, it would be
so wonderful to have him speak to the Descendants of the Glorious Dead Group. Where do I join? Descendants of the
Glorious Dead is amazing. Sookie thinks that that might be tough to get Bill to go to the public library at noon on a
Thursday on account of him being the living dead and all, but Gran thinks maybe he could come talk to her
personally when he's able to and she could record it and share it with the group.
>> Cuz she wants to [ __ ] Bill, too. She's like, Bill. I just pictured her saying, "This is the
skin of a killer, Gran. This is the skin of a killer, Gran." Uh Sookie promises to ask him next time
he comes into Merlotte's and Gran is just de-fucking-lighted. We [ __ ] love Gran. She's adorable.
Now, speaking of Merlotte's, we are so back. >> Yes. And so is Tara at the bar. Hell
yeah. She's got her nose in a book again, straight-up ignoring a customer. Lafayette can't believe Sam hired her.
He does not think she should work a job where she has to interact with people, which limits her.
But honestly, she's kind of the perfect bartender. Mhm. The customer snaps to get her attention and she tells him
right the hell off. She says, >> Uh do do not snap at me. I have a name. And that name is Tara.
And ain't that funny, a black girl being named after a plantation? No, I don't think it's funny at all. In
fact, it really pisses me off that my mama was either stupid or just plain mean.
Which is why you better be nice if you plan on getting a drink tonight. >> I'm so obsessed. I'm obsessed with her.
>> That like mini monologue goes crazy. I love when she's like, "Funny, right?" No, it's not funny. My mama was
mean or dumb. And he's just like, He's shocked. He's shocked into submission in them overalls. Then he
apologizes and gets his drink and then Lafayette chimes in wondering if Tara's heard from Sookie and if Sookie knows
that Jason was arrested. >> Oh, no. >> Tara's shocked and wants to know what Jason possibly could have done to get
arrested. Lafayette isn't totally sure, but he does mention that Maudette Pickens was murdered.
>> Mhm. Tara sticks up for Jason. She doesn't think there's any way he could have killed someone, but Lafayette picks
up on a little something in her tone. She's got a thing for Jason, doesn't she? Mhm. She brushes it off and
Lafayette moves on to flirting with the big dude at the bar, telling him he can be a Santa Claus. At one point, he says,
"Look at that belly." I [ __ ] her. Look at that belly. And the guy is like, you can tell actually if
you watch that scene back, the actor who plays like the guy at the bar is closing
his eyes trying not to laugh. >> not to laugh. >> It is hilarious. They are like Tara and
him are made from the same stock, him and 100%. I love them. >> like Lafayette is literally terror They
are terrorizing the customers. >> good. >> And it's phenomenal. I love it a lot.
Before he heads back to work, he tells the guy to look him up in the phone book. I [ __ ] love Lafayette. I love
who he is. >> In the back room, Sookie is now the last to learn about Jason's arrest and Dawn
breaks the news saying that Arlene told her that Renee told her that Jason got arrested and then Lafayette joins the
chat and confirms that he was there and saw it, too. Poor Sookie. She's like, "Why am I the last person to hear about
my brother's arrest?" >> Mhm. Dawn says that all of them just kind of assumed and then she trails off
and Sookie asks, "Assumed what?" And Dawn's like, "Didn't you just know already?" And Sookie yells, I am not
psychic. And then storms the hell out of the main area where Arlene, Renee, and Hoyt are
playing pool. She wants to know the details and how everyone is so sure that Jason was
actually arrested. Renee says she has a point. It's not like they took Jason away in cuffs or anything. And Arlene
tells Sookie she's so sorry. Arlene is so drunk. She is, but Sookie stands up for her brother. Again, they didn't
actually arrest him and maybe this whole thing is just a big mistake. Hell, they
don't even really know what the sheriff was talking to Jason about. Hoyt hesitantly agrees and can barely say the
words in earnest that, "Yeah, Jason's a real stand-up guy." And Sookie replies, No, he's not, Hoyt.
He's selfish, egotistical, and a complete horn dog, but he is not a killer. Uh real real speak real. That's a sister.
Suddenly, she gets distracted and looks a little confused like something hit her
out of nowhere and she turns and Bill is standing there. Bill is standing in the
middle of the restaurant. It almost feels like there's a magnet between them as they slow as she slowly walks over
and hears everyone's thoughts on her way over. And this is when you see that it would not be a pleasure to have
everybody's thoughts in your head. 100%. And I love again the soundscaping. They
do the same exact thing where they they do that like old-timey piano music and it just like feels so deep southern kind
of Yeah, like the lighting kind of shifts a little bit. It's just it's They create a
mood. >> Once they sit down, too, it's like kind of like a sexy rock song. Like you're
just like, "Ooh." >> Yeah. Ooh. Ooh, sexy rock song. Sexy rock song. Oh my god. I think he's taking on a dom
role. Oh my. He's a He's a bit of a dom. It's a bit of a sexy rock song. Kind of
a sexy rock song. Uh so Tara is in her monologue is displeased. Sam wants to protect her.
Gran does at the bar worried and thinks she's not being a good Christian girl. Lafayette just thinks looks like she
likes some tall, dark, and dead. She finally sits down at the table with Bill and he holds out his hand and when
Sookie places her own into his, everything goes quiet and she also low-key looks like she touched the
orgasm wall from Buffy. She tries to just take his order like she's not screaming the words to Nine
Inch Nails Closer in her head. But Bill has questions. He says, "Wait a minute." Uh he asked
her again just like the night before, "What is she?" Mhm. And she tries to tell him again she's just a waitress,
but he stops her and says, No, you're something more than that. You're something more than human. He's
confused, but he continues saying, Sookie. It's not your usual name, Sookie. Is it short for something else? The way
he says Sookie. Sookie. Like he doesn't so good. >> Sookie. Sookie Stackhouse. Sookie Stackhouse.
How he says like Sookie. Sookie. It's like he's like grunting. Yeah, he just says like, "Sookie."
He says He's just like letting out a breath. He's like, "Sookie." Sookie. Y'all, let me just say that when Bill
says her name, the orgasm wall from Buffy retroactively exploded and that's now canon. It's not there anymore.
The sexual tension in this scene is unrivaled. It is unrivaled. I was like, "Oh my god." I
know. I said, "Oh my stars." Oh my stars. I know. Sookie tells him, "Nope, just plain Sookie." And he's like,
"Cool. Can I come to your house sometime?" Wow. >> all old-timey. He says, "Can I call on
you?" Which also I love that. >> it. I love that. >> me of Donnie Darko when he asked
Gretchen, uh "Do you want to go with me?" >> Do you want to go with me? She's like,
"Go where?" Sookie's like, "Hell yeah, brother. Anytime. Actually, my grandmother wants
to meet you." And immediately, his face is like, He's like, "Oh." That's why you
want me to come to your house. Like, "Damn." She's like, "I actually need a favor." He's like, "Can I eat her?"
Yeah, like, "Damn." Way to kill the vibe, Sookie, talking about your damn granny when shit's all sexy. When some
sexy rock music playing. But Bill, he's sweet. He tells her that he's in her debt after she saved him, so
of course he'll help her. She wants him to meet her out back when her shift is over and he tells her he
can do that, but he also wants to know if she feels the 40 sets of eyes staring at them.
And she thinks everyone is just staring because of what's going on with Jason, but Bill is like, "I think it has more
to do with the fact that I'm a vampire. You're mortal. Our faces are 2 in apart and we're low-key I [ __ ] each other
right now at this very table." True. Sookie doesn't care what the onlookers think, though, but Bill, he does because
he wants to make this place his home. >> I like when he says that. He says like,
"I intend to make this place my home. I'm going to stay here forever." And with that, he says he shall see her
at 1:30. This is the kind of sexy scene for me. This This tickles my fancy. Yeah, this is
where it's at. I like to have, you know, a little chemistry sans ass clocking. Yeah.
You know, maybe later more will come. Quietly. Quietly with no ass clocking. >> need it. I don't need to hear that. He's
like, "Please come quietly." All of this is valid. Now, as Bill walks away, Sookie starts
to hear the voices of all these judgy McJudgersons around Merlotte's. Some people people think Bill has her
hypnotized. Some wonder if he's she's going to let him bite her. Which she >> Some [ __ ] is like, "I'm telling my
reverend." How about you mind your own damn business, everyone? And speaking of people who need their
mind their own damn business and their hands, apparently, Sam comes storming over and grabs Sookie rather roughly by
the top of her arms, drags her to the back of the restaurant, and yells at her that she's being a very stupid girl.
Hello, HR? I'd like to file a very massive complaint. I have a tall order of complaints. He just screamed in my
face, called me stupid, and also grabbed me. He bruised my arm. My arm is going to be bruised literally.
Rick grabs her from the table and drags her to the back. You have a crush on her, babe? Yeah. Why
don't we settle down? Sam, this isn't really doing what you think it's doing, man. You have not slipped into that
little dom role. No, that is not a dom role. That is a rude role. >> That's abusive.
>> Sookie tells him that she can take care of herself and he's like, "One, the Nasty Maax could have chopped you up
last night with a dagger knife and two, now you're making dates with vampires? Do you have a death wish or something?
She does and she doesn't and she thinks it's wrong how everyone is so judgemental about around here. But Sam's
not having it. He says he won't let Sookie put herself in or the bar in danger. And she thinks she's getting
fired. And Sam literally screams directly in her face, No! But next time you think somebody's being
harmed in the parking lot, pick up the phone and call the police. Do not go out there alone like a god damn vigilante!
>> Poor Sookie just starts to cry because there is a grown ass man spitting all over her god damn face while yelling
directly into it. Yeah. And then Sam just starts [ __ ] hugging her? It's all very overwhelming.
>> I said, "Oh my god." I said, "Get your filthy hands off of our queen." I would
have been like, "That's valid." >> my dagger knife. Like, "That's That's so valid." Like, "What's What's happening?"
>> Hit him in the entrails. >> Like, [ __ ] don't touch me, [ __ ] As he's hugging her, he
says he couldn't stand to lose her. And then she hears him thinking, >> Sookie, I couldn't stand to lose you.
You feel so warm. I can't help it, but I want you. Damn, you smell so good. I love the way you smell.
I love you, Sookie, and I always have. And I wanted to tell you before Sam, get your
[ __ ] boners away from me. Even his thoughts are so crazy. >> are so good. I want you.
>> Listen, if you loved her, you're grown as adult. Tell her. >> Yeah, grow up. A long time ago. But
also, now that I've seen how you treat her, I'm glad you didn't. >> Mhm. I don't like what he says. Feel so
warm. >> Feel so warm. Like, what the [ __ ] Now, before she can call him out for being a
[ __ ] mega creep, Tara storms in and starts yelling at her, too. She tells Sookie that she means too much to her
for her to just step aside and let her be vampire food. We're not mad at Tara because she's just being a protective
best friend with no ulterior motives. But damn, can everyone just give Sookie a [ __ ] break?
Tara takes a moment and starts thinking randomly how Sookie and Jason have the same sweet eyes and that Jason could
never kill anyone. But Sookie yells at her that Jason will never care for her the way that kid Tara cares for him.
Tara tells her to get out of her head. And Sookie She's like, "You promised you wouldn't do that." But [ __ ] is so heated
and it seems like Sookie just can't turn off her telepathy in this moment. And Tara and Sam are staring at her and
their thoughts are just blaring in her head until she finally yells, Shut up, the both of you, and stop bossing me
around. I am a grown woman and I'm the one who decides what I do. Not either one of you.
Which is true. She storms past them out the back room and Tara tries to go after
her, but Sam stops her. Now, later on after her shift, Sookie heads out in the parking lot, obviously
hoping Bill will be there. Sam comes out, too, and asks her she wants him to wait with her until
but she doesn't even let him finish the sentence. She tells him, "Go home." And thankfully, I think, he listens. It
seems like Bill is a no show and Sookie's just about to get in her car, but she hears something and goes to
investigate. And suddenly, Jump scare. Mack comes up behind her, shoves her to the ground, and then he and Denise just
start kicking her over and over again in the stomach, in the face, in the head, beating the [ __ ] out of her.
>> It is so gnarly. >> but to the point where she is hurling blood. >> Yes. Like,
hurling blood. It's all over her. And then they just end the episode there. And them kicking the [ __ ] out of
her on the ground. >> I screamed. I said, "What is going to happen? Is Sam going to hear this and
run out? Is Bill going to show up and save her? Return the favor? I don't know. Is it a series wrap on Sookie's
Stackhouse this soon? I don't know because I'm not psychic. I'm not psychic. I don't know."
But here's what I think. Here's what I think. Here I am. I'm not psychic. But I think that Bill is going to show up and
save her, for sure. But I do think it's [ __ ] that Sam can obviously hear this. And I also
think he better run out there. And I almost feel like maybe he will run out there to save Sookie. And then Bill Bill
and him will have like a weird standoff cuz you know, they're they're protecting
Sookie and they both love her. Yeah. They love her. I think I think somebody better get their ass
there real quick. They better. And here's what I also think. I don't think Jason killed Maudette. I'm saying it
here right you were You said that right away. >> I don't think he did it. I think they're
making it too obvious and I think he's not capable of murder. I think he's too dumb.
You got a little I like that you got a little Savannah You went, "I don't I don't think he's
capable of My southern accent knows no bounds. It travels various states. I like it. I
like it a lot. >> notable, you know, fashion things that happened in this episode for you?
No. No, I'm kidding. Actually, Sookie when she's tanning. Yeah. Sookie when she's
tanning. That's a great outfit. Iconic. Iconic. Iconic. I love her waitress outfit, too. Yeah,
so her outfits are so good. It's so It's like simply beautiful. >> Yeah, the Merlotte's t-shirt. It was
such a And I remember people That was like a thing people had the t-shirt. >> Oh, that's fun. I want one. I would wear
one. And Oh, I got to get True Blood merch. I had Bon Temps merch. Like that I bought. I loved Lafayette's
scarf. I love like >> like I like his outfit. He's gorgeous. He is gorgeous. Like, when he is like
working out the like with the road crew, I'm like, "Ooh." You're like, "Oh, Bill."
>> for a second I didn't know if that was him or not. >> Yeah. I was like, "Damn." Lafayette
versatile. Okay. Look at Lafayette. Fashion out for that lady's purple pantsuit in the Yeah, fashion out. Yeah.
For that. Yeah. Especially when the little turdlet just rolled out of the bottom cuff. Yeah, that was so weird.
That was pretty crazy. We're still working on some of our superlatives cuz we want to like as we watch them to come
a little naturally. Yeah. Uh but we'll have them soon. Well, I mean, who sucked Yeah, I mean, someone sucked. I mean,
vampires are always sucking. Mhm. Um Mack Obviously, Mack and Denise sucked. Yeah.
>> And Sam. Yeah. And Sam. They all sucked. The rat trees The rat trees won it for
me. Yeah. I mean, they definitely won. >> They won. Sam is first loser. Yeah. Yeah. I would say so. Yeah. Yeah, I
loved this. I thought I thought it was great. They did such a good adaptation of like the first couple chapters of the
book, which is so freaking cool. >> I love that. Yeah, and I don't know. I'm really excited about this journey.
Hell yeah. I'm excited. Well, the blood may be synthetic, but the drama is real,
y'all. True Blood is hosted and executive produced by us, Ash Kelley, Elena Erkhardt, and Mikey Selroy. Our original
theme song is written and performed by Andrew McMahon. Edited by John Ross. For the Morbid Podcast Network, Mikey Selroy
is our senior producer and executive producers are Elena Erkhardt and me, Ash Kelley.

Rewatchers!!! Welcome to Bon Temps, baby! Ash, Alaina, and Mikie are sinking their teeth into the very first episode of True Blood : “Strange Love.”

This week we're introduced to Sookie Stackhouse, the telepathic waitress who’s just trying to serve up burgers and mind her own damn business, but spends most of her time dodging thought boners from patrons... ew. But the monotony turns to melodrama when Bill Compton, a real vampire walks into the bar.

Rewatch, Listen & Laugh as we worship at the altar of Bon Temps Tara, Mikie does his Donald Duck impression, and poor ash turns ALLLLL the shades of red!

And don't forget to join the conversation on Instagram at @the_rewatcher!

Brief Summary

The premiere of <i>True Blood</i> introduces Sookie, Bill, and the vampire culture in Louisiana, blending attraction with danger.

Key points

Halloween Release. The episode is released just before Halloween, adding to the excitement.
Sookie's Gift. We meet Sookie, a waitress with the gift of telepathy, navigating the thoughts of her customers.
Tara's Introduction. Meet Tara, a fierce character who isn't afraid to speak her mind.
Sookie's Awkward Encounter. Sookie faces uncomfortable advances from a couple at Merlotte's.
The Vampire Reveal. Sookie locks eyes with a mysterious dark-haired stranger, hinting at a new twist.
Sookie's Brave Rescue. Sookie uses her telepathy to save a vampire from danger, showcasing her bravery.

Episode highlights

Episode quotes

Happy almost Halloween, [ __ ]!

6:15WatchApr 10, 2026

Tension

75/ 100High tension

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