Episode 779: April Bonus Episode - Eclipse | Forensic Files

Hey weirdos, I'm Alaina. >> I'm Ash. >> And this is a morbid bonus episode. >> It's a [ __ ] bonus. Before we
get into it, must or might I say, your hair has such a good swoop right now. >> Oh, thank you.
>> I just noticed the swoopage that your hair has. >> It just did it and I said, "Wow."
>> Sometimes it falls into a good swoop and sometimes it falls into a swoop that
makes me look crazy. >> No, it's a great swoop. You're giving Patricia actual >> Oh, that's a swoop.
>> That's a nice swoop. >> That's a swoopaloupe. >> swoop, there it is. >> I'm into it.
And you know what we're going to be covering today, everybody? >> Eclipse. >> Eclipse.
>> We're going to do it. >> I'm excited. This is, I think, my least favorite of the five movies.
>> Yeah, it's pretty gnarly. >> But, it's there's fun parts of this. >> Oh, yeah. There's a lot to talk about.
So, but before we get into that, really, really quick, go check out my socials really quick. I mentioned it on the last
Morbid episode, but if you have been looking for to pre-order a signed copy of The Butcher Legacy, cuz I know some
people are looking for some signed copies cuz they were gone at Barnes & Noble, go check out my socials cuz I
partnered with Premiere Collectibles and I signed a bunch more book plates that we're going to be putting on The Butcher
Legacy and you can go snatch them up right now. It's a limited quality quantity, not quality. It's very
>> It's high quality. >> Very high quality. They're super high quality. >> But, they're limited quantity of them.
So, go grab them, pre-order your signed copy of The Butcher Legacy. I signed them in the pod lab with my hands.
They are signed. Or you can And you can go to premiercollectibles.com/butcher and the link will be in our bio on our
socials. >> Hell yeah. >> So go do that. And you know, I I'll keep signing as much as I can.
>> She better. >> You know, I'll keep doing it. As long as you guys want it, I'll do it.
>> I mean, what more can you ask for, people? >> Uh but now Eclipse. >> Into the show.
>> Let's [ __ ] talk about this god. I reread the book in one day. >> In like a day and a half, I would
>> Oh, okay. >> Okay. >> Um I'm and I like speed read like it wasn't a >> Yeah. Let me Let me envelop myself in
this world. >> That's probably good. >> Um but actually it's behind me and I need it for reference. Uh
When I tell you this [ __ ] has a copy of Eclipse that is full Yeah. of little posted notes.
>> I do. We should put We should post them. >> Yeah, we absolutely should with the with
the bonus. That's insane. >> Yeah. I got I got into it. So >> have a Google Doc like a normal person.
>> Yeah, I got one of those, too. >> But so we got So we got this The book is a wild ride in my opinion.
Um >> Yeah, cuz I think the characters in the book are so much worse than they are in
the movie. >> They are. And I feel like that goes throughout the series. >> Yeah.
>> Not all the characters, but >> No, not all of them. >> And we're we'll get into this for sure,
but Charlie is [ __ ] terrible in the book. >> And Jacob, I would say, is worse.
>> Yeah, he might be a little worse. Yeah, he actually is. I would say. >> I mean, he's pretty bad in the movie,
like >> He is. In this movie, like let's Let's get into it. >> Let's get into it. Well, first of all,
let me tell you So this book came out August 7th, 2007, the Eclipse book. >> I was 11. Holy [ __ ]
>> Um I was out of high school. >> You were 21. >> Um yep. And the movie came out June
24th, 2010. Okay. So just to give you some kind of idea on that. Uh I also looked up the box office cuz I was
really interested to see at this point what the box office was doing. Eclipse actually is the highest grossing film of
the series domestically. Yeah. >> Um I guess it was made for 68 point The budget was 68.5 million.
>> Oh, wow. >> It made 760 million worldwide. >> Holy [ __ ] >> So they made back that budget.
>> say so. That's crazy. I don't think I saw this one in theaters. >> I >> I can't remember though.
>> Cannot remember. >> Yeah, for some reason I can't. I think I watched it like when it came to
like on demand. >> Yeah. >> I can't remember. On demand, yeah. Yeah, I can't remember. I know I know we
together saw one of the Breaking Dawns in theaters. I think it was the first one.
>> Yeah, we definitely saw at least one of them. >> Yeah. But I You know what? In this one I
have to say it's shocking like the character cuz Edward has like weird character growth.
>> But also he like falls back. >> Well, and Jacob just tumbles backwards. Like he devolves in a way.
>> can't even I feel like it's a cat guy I know she's she didn't mean to she says but
Stephanie Meyer's but or Meyer but I It's like a character assassination of >> Oh, I fully think so.
>> I fully think so. Because you and I were talking about it like before we started
recording this. And in part two you understand Jacob. Like he can be a little much for sure with like his
feelings for Bella but like he's rightfully angry at Edward for abandoning her in the woods which is
crazy. >> Absolutely. >> And you know, they're growing. They're hanging out all the time. They feel They
have feelings for each other. >> Yeah. >> So you can And then like, you know, Edward comes back and or like she goes
to get Edward and he's like, "What the fuck?" And he's like rightfully angry. He doesn't make like the best choices.
>> Yeah. >> But then in this one he just assaults Bella. >> He loses his goddamn mind.
>> Yeah. >> He loses his goddamn mind in this one. >> Yeah. >> And he's like snarky as [ __ ] in this
one. >> Yeah. >> But it doesn't work because like Jacob he has like a little edge.
>> He's a werewolf, so I guess he like you know, he's got a little something. >> Yeah.
>> To him. They're like a little edge. Like but like it's a little it's too much it's not
it's not charming. >> Well, that's the thing. It's not like a sexy edge. It's like it's like you're a
douchebag edge. >> I'm genuinely worried about my safety kind of edge and that's not where you
want to be. >> like beyond an edge. >> Yeah, but but Edward I got to say because like in the first two books and
in the first two movies Edward is weird. Not great. >> Guys, like like when I was first reading
this I remember being like oh my god vampire. >> Oh yeah. >> And even now I'm like oh my god vampire.
Now I'm just kind of like wow, you're like really controlling. >> Yeah. >> And you also treat Bella like she's like
a tiny baby child and everything. >> Like I've said it the last couple that we've done of these, they Ed uh
Bella is so baby girl coded. >> She's so baby girl coded. >> It's like >> Oh my god.
>> to explain things to her. He's like well, you just don't get it cuz you're just like a small little girl.
>> Well, and also like while we're talking about that, I saw a lot of people saying
cuz I was just like reading online forums and stuff. Alice is very similar to Edward in that
way. They make it seem like her and and Bella are like bestie girls. >> Yep. >> But a lot of times she's kind of
manipulated or not even kind of just like straight up manipulating Bella into Edward's every whim.
>> Yeah. >> Like he offers her a Porsche to kidnap Bella so that she doesn't go see Jacob
in the book. >> Yeah. >> And it's like what? >> And what? >> in like obviously I'm getting a little
bit ahead of myself, but I know in the in the movie it kind of ends with like they're going to get married and
la-di-da-di-da and Alice is going to plan the whole thing. She Alice like kind of forces Bella into letting her
plan the whole thing in the book. >> Yeah. >> And it's like >> does. >> Okay. >> And she steps in a lot and is like and
it's like it's masked like do you see like you said as like oh we're just best friends
and I'm just like I this is who I am and I just love doing this but I'm sorry if
like she keeps jumping in and being like I got you this dress that you can wear for this thing.
>> Right. >> can look like this for this. >> Right. >> And I think you should do that for that
and it's like >> doll. >> Just let me and it's like she wants to plan all the parties which it's like that on
the surface yeah nice cool she's good at planning parties like that's fine but it's like underneath that is like I'm
controlling everything. >> Yeah. >> And this is all mine. >> Right. >> And also you're going to own me.
>> Exactly. >> Eventually that's how I see it. >> It's one thing for her to plan like the
prom party or whatever the grad I I can't remember if it's the prom party or the graduation party that she throws and
honestly might be >> all of them. >> But your wedding? >> Yeah. >> Like it you can have somebody help you
plan that but >> her birthday, her wedding, her graduation party. >> to plan a party babe.
>> Like at least or at least give her the option to. Like no one really gives Bella the option to do anything.
>> No they even tell her how they how she feels about them. >> Oh Jacob loves telling her how she feels
and that's and even Edward it's like who I'm saying has some growth here but like
by no means is perfect. It's like he he just don't he doesn't listen to the fact that she's sitting there at one
point cuz like obviously the whole thing in this is like Bella is like super horned up and just is like can we please
just [ __ ] And he and Edward is like very against it. >> I'm going to I'll kill you.
>> And and that and he's like I'll kill you blah blah blah. >> control. >> he's like okay when we're married. I
want to wait until I'm married. And it's like But she that doesn't really make sense.
>> One >> you don't like and obviously you both have to like decide this but when she's
talking about it, she's basically saying especially in the book that like she's like I want to do this before I'm
a vampire which is fair. I'm a human, I want to experience this as a human because I don't know who I'm going to be
when I'm a vampire. I'm not going to be just this anymore. >> Yeah. >> And he's like yeah, yeah, like no,
you'll still be my Bella. And it's like no, she didn't ask that. She didn't ask her what she will be to you. She wants
to like and you're just not listening to her. >> Nobody listens to her. >> And it's like and obviously again, she's
not like she can force him to do it. Like he gets a choice in this as well. >> But they're not having a back and forth.
>> Yeah, it felt like he just wasn't like when he just says well, you'll always be
my Bella. I was like that's not the point. >> just like it's literally just like
>> Yeah, like it's just like this isn't about you. This is about her right now. Like let her tell you how she's feeling
here. And it's like and then there's that like whole thing about like you know, do you not trust that I'm
going to turn you? I'm going to keep my promise? And like and then he's like how
do I know that you're not going to get what you want and then refuse to marry me right away? And I was like do you see
how this is not a good relationship if you guys are questioning all this? >> Do you see how you're 17 years old and
you want to experience more of life? >> But I do have to give it to Edward. When
I say he had growth, like in this one he starts kind of like we're saying before, he's like very like baby
girl and he still is but in this one he least says several times that he trusts uh Bella's judgment yeah and that if she
feels like something is right or the right thing to do, he just has to trust her regardless of how he feels.
>> But it's only in certain aspects because like I said, he literally offers Alice a
Porsche to go kidnap Bella so that she doesn't make a choice that she wanted to make.
>> Exactly. And that's and he but he is honestly, I'll give him this, he's so [ __ ] patient with the Jacob [ __ ] He
is Oh, >> What? >> In the movie, it starts right away and she when I she just hops on the back of
Jacob's bike when he is like, "Okay, like let's go to the reservation and I'll tell you everything that Edward
hasn't told you." It's like >> and just leaves him standing there. It's like >> I can't imagine if my man's was Edward
and I hopped on the back of somebody else's bike. My man's would not put up with that.
>> Especially not your enemy. >> him to. >> It's your mortal enemy. >> That's crazy.
>> Like I had I was watching this on my my laptop this morning and my girls were
like sitting doing something like near me and so they were kind of like every now and then again looking over and
being like, "What is this?" So I was explaining like the very generalized version of like this is what Twilight
is. And so every once in a while my oldest would look over and at one point she saw
like Bella and Edward interacting and she saw it a couple of times and at one point after like the third time she
goes, "They don't seem like they really like each other that much." And I was like, "I know." Like she was like,
"They're just always like like snapping at each other. Like that doesn't seem like a nice relationship."
>> Well, it's funny because like they are snapping at each other all the time like
as characters but like also just as two humans they don't really have a lot of chemistry which is insane cuz they were
together. >> Yeah. >> Like they were like madly in love supposedly. >> Yeah. >> Uh yeah, it's pretty and at one point I
was pretty proud cuz that like towards the end of it all three of my girls agreed that they would pick neither.
>> That's good. >> I was like, "Good for you." >> They were like, "Yeah, it doesn't make
sense." And one of my middle was like she was like, "Well, I don't really understand how she can pick either
because they both hate each other. And if you're friends with one and trying to like date the other, that won't work if
they hate the other person." I was like "You are more logical than adults here are."
>> Also like we're they're being raised so differently than we were cuz I was like,
"Oh my god, you got to pick a bird." Oh my god. I was like, "Don't pick either of these fools."
>> Yeah, no. >> No, I was like, "Pick Charlie." >> Not book Charlie. >> Not book Charlie.
>> Pick you can pick Zaddy Charlie from the >> Holy [ __ ] not book Charlie. Book
Charlie. Like maybe we should do we're going to be out of order here cuz I we don't do
these in like a narration. So we'll just be out of shooting the [ __ ] >> Charlie?
>> Yeah. >> Charlie? Literally is the worst. Let me open my book. Book Charlie is a How did
you even organize that? >> Is an [ __ ] on a on a way I can't even describe. >> I'm just going to go through. You might
get to >> post-its >> over here. >> Yeah, just like tons of post-its. >> her flicking through this?
>> You probably will. >> Flickety flick flick. >> Look at the flick of that >> got to find where I wrote, "What the
[ __ ] Charlie?" Cuz that's one of the things I wrote. >> Are you going to read an excerpt?
>> Here, hold on. "What the [ __ ] is this, Charlie?" >> She She did in fact write that.
>> Yeah. So, in uh chapter nine in the book when I think he's talking about how like
he wants her to call Jacob. He's like trying to push that whole thing. And she's kind of being like, "No, I
don't want to deal with this and like, you know, get out of my business" kind of thing. He's like, "Aren't you going
to call him?" And she's like, "No." And she goes up the stairs. And he says, and
I quote, "That's not very attractive behavior, Bella. Forgiveness is divine." Charlie.
What? I said, "Excuse me?" >> Numero uno, what a weird [ __ ] thing to say to your daughter?
>> The day that I hear >> behavior. >> tell one of my daughters, "That's not very attractive behavior."
>> I'm not trying to be attractive. >> day I light him on fire. Like that's insane. You just get rid of the whole
thing. >> Yeah, I'll come over. I'll hold >> You can't save that. Like, why are you
saying that to your daughter, first of all? >> forgiveness is divine. >> Forgiveness is divine.
>> even know what we're arguing about. >> Shut the [ __ ] up. You're uninformed, my
god. >> You're very uninformed, and I have more stupid Charlie [ __ ] in the book here.
>> Well, because even when he is informed, he doesn't really give a [ __ ] >> Oh, yeah, cuz I I have another thing
that just says Charlie in here. Um and this is in like a in the 300s range, and it's after
uh Jacob has forced himself on Bella kissing her. >> Yeah. >> And which we'll get to that, because
that whole scene in the book is even more upsetting. >> Read that scene first, cuz I think you
need to hear how it's described in the book before you hear Charlie's reaction. >> so let me get to the to the part in the
book where >> you here. I'm like, "Hold on, backtrack." Cuz so even in the movie,
just while you're looking for that, I'll go through it. Even in the movie, like he kisses her forcefully, and it's a lot
in the movie. But in the book, it is a million times worse. >> That's the And in the In the movie, it
happens so fast. >> And it's like still upsetting. >> But it's kind of like but you're like,
"Oh god." And she kind of pushes him away and is like, "What the fuck?" Like you know.
>> Yeah. In the book, this is how it says the first kiss. This is what it says. Um so
first, she starts to object, but it was too late. He stopped her before she could even say the word no completely.
And it says, "His lips crushed mine stopping my protest. He kissed me angrily, roughly. His other hand
gripping tight around the back of my neck making escape impossible." >> Oh? >> Yeah.
"I shoved against his chest with all my strength, but he didn't even seem to notice."
And then she says, "I grabbed at his face trying to push it away failing again. He'd seem to notice this time
though, and it aggravated him." She's pushing him away, and it aggravated him. Ready? Ready for the
next one? "His lips forced mine open." "And I could feel his hot breath in my mouth."
>> Ew, you [ __ ] And then this is the part that really gets So that is already you're like, what the [ __ ]
>> consent. That's assault. >> This one little paragraph is so upsetting because I know a lot of people
and a lot of women >> Yep, have experienced similar things. >> feeling right here.
>> Yep. >> Acting on instinct, I let my hands drop to my side and shut down. I opened my eyes and didn't fight,
didn't feel, just waited for him to stop. How is that even remotely romantic? >> Before you even get to Charlie's
reaction about that, I need to go to the uh the archive that we always reference,
Stephanie Meyer's archive. >> Oh, yeah. I love the archive. >> does So she There's FAQs about each uh
book. >> Yeah. >> And this one is in Eclipse, one of the frequently asked questions is, what are
characters' biggest mistakes in Eclipse or their tragic flaws? So she says Bella's is lack of self-knowledge. She
never would have pursued her friendship with Jacob if she had realized how much more of a friendship than it really was,
yadda yadda you. And then Edward's, I think his was self-control, she said. Uh Jacob
doesn't have a tragic flaw, she writes. >> Could have fooled me. He has one goal
and one hope. His goal is to save Bella's life. His hope is that he'll win her heart in the process. He fails at
both, but that doesn't mean he regrets trying. If he could do it over again, he'd do the same thing.
>> Whoa. >> Jacob couldn't live with himself if he didn't give saving Bella his best
effort. He knows it's going to hurt when he loses, but he knows it would hurt worse if he didn't try. Does he do
everything right? Heck, no. I heard that, sister. But he's 16, she writes, and he's making
it up as he goes along. Like he should probably make it up better. Those who are upset by some of his tactics should
consider his youth and the fact that he hit that he is after all right. Bella's in love with him. In the end, it's truly
healthier for her to be aware of this as she goes forward with unalterable decisions.
>> Wow. >> So, Bella has to be told like Jacob is right about the fact that Bella is in
love with him according to Stephanie Meyer. >> Mhm. >> And she needs to listen to him about her
feelings. >> Yeah. >> That he's saying she has. >> Yeah. Listen to the Listen to the man.
>> She like she doesn't have any autonomy. She doesn't know how she feels. She needs to
be told. >> No, and as we will see and especially in Eclipse, they make it pretty clear that not many
women have autonomy in this one. >> Like hello? >> Not many of them have it. >> Hello? Also, if he could do it over
again, he'd do the same thing. >> Damn. >> I don't know what I'm saying. >> Well, and that's and that's when it gets
worse because she punches him in the face in that scene. >> And she breaks her hand because his face
is chiseled. >> And so he has to bring her back to Charlie and in the movie, which like I
got to tell you, in the movie when Edward is just like appears, >> Honey, that's that's it.
>> angry and all up in Jacob's face, I was like, that's what I remember. That's what I remember.
>> I go, "Ooh, I love this part." >> Yep, we were both like, "Ooh, [ __ ] I love That's when I like Edward. I like
when he gets mad." >> But even I will say cuz we're about to read Charlie's reaction in the book,
Charlie's reaction in the movie isn't that great either. >> It's not great, but it's far and away
better than this. >> Oh, absolutely. Because in the movie, he just kind of stands between them, which
I understand. >> Yeah, cuz there's a lot of talk going on. >> And Jake Jacob says,
Bella thinks she broke her hand. And he's like, "What?" And she's like, "I punching me in the face." And he He kind
of like looks at him like, "What?" And then he's like, "I tried to kiss her or I kissed her."
>> Yeah. >> And he just kind of looks and you can tell he's like, "I don't know how to
react to this." Like cuz they're both there and like that's weird. It's not a great reaction, but it's
not terrible when you look at this. >> But that's the thing, this is much worse.
>> And that's kind of it. So, in the book, though, Jacob just walks on into to house,
>> Welcome to >> feels absolutely nothing about what just occurred. And he's like, "Hey,
and she walks by Charlie to go get ice." Cuz no one's getting her ice, either. >> Got to get it herself.
>> going to walk over her broken hand. And Charlie says, "What's wrong with her?"
And she said, "Don't ask her. Ask Jacob." >> Yeah. >> And she Jacob says, "She thinks she
broke her hand." >> Not even she did break it. She thinks she >> she broke like she's crazy like you know
you're hysterical girl. >> And he says, "How did she do that?" And she says, "As my father, I thought
Charlie ought to sound a bit less amused and a bit more concerned." And I said, "Yes, sister."
Jacob laughed. She hit me. >> Oh. >> Charlie laughed, too. And I scowled while I beat the tray against the edge
of the sink. "Why did she hit you?" "Because I kissed her." Jacob said, unashamed. "Good for you, kid." Charlie
congratulated him. I have several things to say about this. >> you, kid. >> Um So many things to say about that. Okay,
so the second that Jacob said, "She hit me." I can tell you with 100% certainty I
would lay down my entire life on this bet that if I walked in with my best guy friend
and I know exactly if I walked in in high school with my friend Derek who was like my parents knew him like everybody
one of my best guy friends if I walked in there with him and I was holding a broken hand
and my dad's because Sure. My dad looks at him and says, "What happened?" >> Yeah.
>> If he said, "She hit me." My dad would have had Derek out in the forest. >> 100%
>> You would have been like, "What the [ __ ] did you do that she hit you?" Like that
would have been It wouldn't have even been a thought. >> have been out of that house faster than
you could blink. >> It wouldn't be why did you know why did she hit you? It would be what did you do
to make her hit you? Like it would be fully on him. Why the [ __ ] did >> in self-defense against you?
>> That would be it. That So he's saying she she I kissed her and she was so upset that she [ __ ] punched me in the
face. >> She had to act in self-defense. >> And your first response to that is what is it? Is it good for you? Yeah,
good for you, kid. Instead of oh, you did it without her consent. What the [ __ ] is wrong with you?
>> Yeah. >> Like that and that's not even the end of how [ __ ] up the men are around her in
this scene cuz it's not even just Charlie. >> I know. >> Because first of all, Jacob is being a little dick. Like he
thinks this whole thing is funny. Like he's not bothered about it at all. And then when she tells Jacob, when he's
like, "What happened?" on the phone >> Edward. >> or Edward. She's he's like, "What
happened?" And she says, "I punched Jacob." His response should be "What happened? What did he do that you
needed to punch him?" Nope. He says, "Good. Though I'm sorry I that that though I'm sorry you're hurt."
>> You don't want to know why? >> And she has to say several little things. Like she's like, "Oh, I wish I
had hurt him. I didn't do any damage at all." Blah blah blah blah blah. It's several ways down where he says, "What
did he do?" Like, "Hello?" Like are do any of you care that you If she's punching her best
friend, a man >> Yeah. >> you should be concerned about what he did to deserve that.
>> What >> And then it gets even worse. >> going to say, "What does he say?" cuz I
don't remember. >> So then the so Edward arrives and this is in the book. Edward arrives and Jacob and
Edward are kind of like going at each other a little bit. Like just right right right right. And Charlie comes in
and of course only says to Edward, like, "Hey. Like you got to back off." And then he says, "I can go put on my badge
if it makes my my request more official." >> Mhm. >> And Edward says that won't be necessary.
And that's when Bella says, "Why don't you arrest me, Dad? I'm the one throwing punches." Like, "Are you seeing anything
that's happening here?" And his response, Charlie raised an eyebrow. Do you want to press charges, Jake?
Brother. Brother, Jake's not the one that was assaulted. How about you ask your daughter that?
>> And to ask your own in front of your own [ __ ] daughter. Ask this boy. >> Do you know what's so sad?
>> Like what? >> know what's so sad? This is probably like at least somewhat similar to an
experience that a lot of girls have probably had. >> [ __ ] up. >> Like we're lucky like we had papa.
But some dads are like this. >> I can't imagine. >> That is obviously for that to have been
written in a book that's rooted in some kind of reality somewhere. >> Which is awful.
>> cannot fathom it. >> That's insane to me. >> can't. I can't fathom it. >> Which is nice that we can.
>> Like it is that was the worst I was like Charlie, you are so attractive in the movie and you are so
unattractive in the book. >> Yeah. Like really they are. >> God damn. >> He's a bridge troll in the book. You're
not. That's so [ __ ] up. >> Burke who's the >> Yes, I believe so. >> actor? Billy Burke really saved Charlie
Swan. >> He did. >> He really did. >> really did. >> He really saved. He He made him what he
is. So like hats off to Billy Burke. >> Yeah, period. >> And that's the thing. It's like when I
say Edward had growth, it's like only so much. >> Yeah. >> Because like >> It wasn't quite linear.
>> Again, he's very patient with the Jacob [ __ ] Like like this kind of thing. He
could have killed them >> 100% >> Cuz they're supernatural creatures. It's not like these are two humans. But
he's super bait and he's baited the entire movie by Jacob. >> Yeah. >> Baited. And he does manage to keep his
[ __ ] together, which like I realize the bar is in hell here. But like that is the universe we're currently watching
right now. >> Can we jump forward like massively? To when they are So like the newborns are
coming, which like we'll get to. You've probably seen this if you're listening most likely. So the newborns are coming.
They're like they mark out Bella's scent in the field. >> Yeah. >> And her and Edward hike up to this like
crazy peak to stay away from everything. And Jacob is there. And Bella, it's snowing for some reason in June on this
mountain peak. I realize it snows on mountain peaks, but like it wouldn't happen in June.
>> Like actively snowing. >> Actively. Like there's a storm outside. >> it could have snow on the peak in June,
but like an active snowstorm I feel like is crazy. >> Yeah, definitely. So Bella's like
freezing obviously, and like Edward is fine cuz he's dead. And Jacob is super duper warm. So he comes inside and he's
like, "I can't focus with all the teeth chattering. Like let me just keep her warm." And
>> Yeah. >> Edward is like, "No, like [ __ ] you and I can hear your thoughts. Like not going
to happen." >> Yeah, he's like that's right. >> Finally he relents because Bella's going
to get frostbite otherwise. And he literally Jacob looks at Edward and goes, "Let's face it. I'm hotter than
you. Let's Let's face it. I am hotter than you." Let's face it. I'm hotter than you. And then I said, "That's
nuts." And then he says that she would warm up faster as he's holding her now. She would warm up faster if she took her
clothes off. He says this aloud to her in front of her man. There's so much wrong with that. First
of all, to say that at all in front of Bella >> is >> to Bella >> while you're holding her is [ __ ] up
and weird. >> When she's already now punched you because you made an advance on her.
>> And when she's made it [ __ ] clear that she was not looking for that. >> That's exactly what I'm saying.
>> And you're sitting there manipulating this situation and saying something so gross and like
>> and piggish. >> And now you Now she knows like she does need you in this moment. Like she's
going to get frostbite otherwise. And you're cradling her and she knows that you're thinking about her with her
clothes off. >> you have like a boner and are sitting there like snuggling up against her and
she can't do anything else about it cuz she's going to die otherwise. >> And poor Edward can hear everything he's
thinking. >> Yeah, like honestly anybody who was team Jacob after Eclipse, please come to the front and
explain yourself. >> Please, because I can't. >> I see >> it from the first two movies. I get it.
>> a lot of people saying that he's just a kid and like he doesn't know any better.
>> No, babe, he's a teenager. >> But I do the majority of people are they feel how we feel.
>> Yeah. >> I can't and when when he says, "Can't you at least like when Edward's like,
"Can't you at least attempt to control your thoughts?" That was a very nice [ __ ] way to put that. It was. Like
and in the book he says something like, "I can hear your like every little fantasy you're having right now." And I
was like, "Get it together." >> He's disgusting. He's like that's so gross. >> Like get it together.
>> He also tells Jacob tells Edward in this moment, at least in the movie, "If you
had stayed away another 6 months, I could have had a chance." >> Yeah. Why would you want a chance if it
if your only chance relied on the one that she actually loved being away for like a period of time? That's not real.
You're a replacement. Why do you want that? Don't you want somebody who just wants you immediately?
>> You would think. >> Like I don't understand that. >> Well, then after this like in the movie uh like Bella and
Edward have like a discussion the next morning and the idea of like of them being married.
>> Because also, they're engaged already cuz they got engaged the night before this.
>> I'm going to get to that, too, because she has a wild reaction in the book to
it. Uh but she So, they're talking about and he says something like, you know, in
the book I think he says like the best night was when you agreed to marry me. >> Yeah.
>> And then like he says something else in the movie that that is alluding to the
fact that they're getting married. And in the movie, you know, Jacob is just like standing a
little ways away. >> So, he likes it. >> So, he hears it and when she he walks out, she's like, "You knew he was
listening." And Edward's like, he deserves to know. Like >> the same thing. >> Well, and then she flips out at Edward
and it's like, "You're an asshole!" >> Cuz now Jake's going to go kill himself. >> But in the book she he's like further
away when he hears this. >> And in wolf form, right? >> And he's in wolf form. So, when he says
this, all of a sudden you hear Jacob like howl in pain, like a heartbreaking howl from like a long ways away.
And she doesn't blame Edward in the book cuz of course not. She starts blaming herself. She's like, "I'm awful. I can't
believe I did this. I'm the worst." Like he even said he's like, "Are you angry at me for saying that?" And she's like,
"No, I'm angry at myself." And I'm like, "Damn, you just gave >> Why? >> zero." Like she's just like, "I'm the
worst." And then Edward wants to like chill her out so much that he's like "Do you want me to go get Jacob and you can
like talk this out? Like I'll go get him." Cuz he's like Imagine having to do that.
>> about this." >> That is such a >> In the book. >> It's such an inappropriate like there's
no boundaries within this relationship as far as like her friendship goes with Jacob.
>> Mhm. And then in both situations she goes to talk to him about it and Jacob is like, you know, upset and whatever.
And he just immediately starts threatening suicide, which is so manipulative. >> It's so manipulative. It's like, "What
the fuck?" And then she's sitting there being like, and he's like, "You know what? Maybe I'll just, you know, do this
or do that or maybe I'll just I you know what? I will go down in battle and I'll
just let I'll let it happen to me." And then at one point he's like, "Oh, you know what? Maybe I could be passive
about it. I'll just I'll fight, but I'll whatever happens happens." And he's putting it all on her and I'm
like, "No." >> it's your fault cuz now I'm going to die sad. >> Like, "No, babe."
>> Even though I'm never going to be with you anyway. >> I'm going to die a sad boy. And it's
like that's literally not her fault. >> No, not >> Um And then there's like several times
where she's like she keeps telling him she's like you know I don't love you like that. Like she's
said it before. >> I love you like a friend. >> saying you do love me. And he's like you
do love me, you are attracted to me, you just don't understand it. And he even says at one point like you are more
comfortable with me in my wolf form because you're not attracted to me. >> It's like no babe, she's probably more
comfortable with you in wolf form because you can't shove your tongue down her throat.
>> and she literally is like no, it's cuz you shut the [ __ ] up. You can't talk.
>> That's nice. >> And I'm like take that hint babe. Like when she's telling you yeah, I like you
as a fuzzy creature better cuz one, you can't make out with me and two, you shut
the [ __ ] up. That should give you all the information you need. >> But according to Stephanie Meyer, he's
correct. >> Oh yeah, he's correct. But then he keeps saying he's going to he's going to kill
himself, he's going to kill himself. And at one point she he's like she's like I
don't want you to go away. And like and he's like see? And she's like well no, I love you. I
don't want you to go away. That it's not all or nothing. It's not I if I do if I
love you in the way I love Edward then that means one thing. But like I want You know what I mean? Like just
because I don't want you to go away doesn't mean I want to [ __ ] you. Like that's There's plenty of people in my
life that I don't want to go away. >> said this earlier. Like she doesn't want Charlie to go away either.
>> says that. She's like I feel that way about Charlie. Like you're my family. I
don't want something bad to happen to you. Like I love you that way. And he's like nope.
>> You want to [ __ ] >> No, you don't get it. And he keeps going, keeps going. And she finally is
like I want you to come back. And he's like you should That's He says um what do you could ask me.
Cuz remember and I don't think we mentioned this, but when he forced forcibly kisses her
before in both the book and the movie, Edward is like maybe you could wait for her to ask you. Which I'm like team
Edward on that. >> Yeah. >> And so he and he even says Edward said cuz at one point while they're talking
um I think Jacob asks Edward like what if she did ask me. And he's like, "Then that's then she would say that's her
choice." Right. I would respect her choice. Which I'm like, again, came Edward. But in this one, Jacob says, "You could
ask me." And she's like, "Please come back." Thinking that's like I'm asking you to come back. And he says, "That's
not what I'm talking about." So he's literally saying, "I'm out. I'm going to kill myself.
And you could ask me." And she has to say, "Will you kiss me, Jacob?" That's insane. And literally, the only
reason that he does that she does is to make him not kill himself. That's not healthy
in any universe ever. >> The most toxic thing. >> And the makeout that they have goes on
for about four pages. >> Oh my god. >> It's so many pages. >> Four? >> So many pages.
>> How many pages? >> Cuz doesn't she picture their future together? >> At one point, and I guess they filmed
this, but they didn't like how the makeup looked. I kind of wish they had. >> It's apparently like top secret. Like
>> I want it. >> It was a deleted scene, and I know like if you have the DVD or like the extended
cut or something, there No. There are deleted scenes that are included, but this one is as like you can't find it
anywhere, but there's a couple pictures from onset that people have. >> Yeah, you can see them.
>> Yeah. >> And yeah, cuz that's part of it is she like starts picturing that, but it's
only after like he is intense, like very he does the angry aggressive kiss, where she does the same
thing. She balls her hands up at her sides. >> want to be kissed by him. >> forces her wrist up to the where his
neck is, and she says she keeps her hand balled up. She doesn't even grab his neck. He holds her wrist there
for a lot of the time, and then finally lets go. And then tells her she can do better
than this. >> Like like she can kiss better? >> Yeah, because she's not kissing him
back. >> Oh my >> And he's literally like you can do better than this. >> like that is genuine like obviously the
first one was upsetting. This one is so much more upsetting for some reason. >> is.
And then he says like you can do better than this. >> Yeah. >> And she said and he says um for once
just let yourself feel what you feel. And she says I shook my head mechanically until one of his hands
wound back into my hair and stopped me. And he says, are you sure you want me to
come back or did you really want me to die? >> So now he's like you wanted me to die.
>> And in the middle of it because she's not kissing him back like he wants her to, he threatens again, do you want me
to die? >> Oh my god. >> And she gets pissed and kisses him back. And then he and she's like angry. So she
wanted so she goes to like pull him away after this. >> Yeah. >> He takes that as like passion.
And so he goes like harder. And that's when they fall and this is even worse. So she was trying to pull
him off, angrily trying to pull him off. He takes it as passion so he goes further. And then she said this was the
moment she realized she was in love with him. >> Baby, that's not love. Because he felt like such joy from like
thinking she was kissing back. >> Stockholm syndrome. >> Yeah, I said whoa, that's that's
something. >> I have to wonder because obviously like I read that quote that Stephanie wrote
on her website like in 2007. I do have to wonder in today's lens if she if she would feel differently about
>> wonder. >> that like about thinking Jacob is correct in all of his feelings. >> Because
I understand like when I first saw this when I read this kind of thing when I was younger, you know what I mean or
like whatever. >> Yeah. >> Like I can understand people when they first read this when they're younger
thinking this is like just so all consuming love. >> Yeah, like very like Wuthering Heights
kind of thing. And which she did this is inspired partly by Wuthering Heights which Stephanie Meyer said she doesn't
even like Wuthering Heights but like Heathcliff Heathcliff and is it Edgar and Heathcliff?
>> I've never seen it. I've never >> people will compare Jacob and Edward to them a lot. And and Heathcliff is like a
dick. >> I know the premise so I know it's similar, yeah. >> But it's like that you these thing I I
can understand why they get seen as like these passionate over but when you really dig at them it just is really
gross and it's like these these moments are really gross and they're not healthy.
>> Right. >> And they should stay in fiction. >> Yeah. >> We've like we talked about this before.
I forget when I talked to Oh, I think I talked about this when I did the event with Elizabeth Arnot.
>> Mhm. >> Uh at Unlikely Story we were talking about how like it's wild when people
like especially when women will fall in love with like serial killers and like go and like marry them.
Um It's hybristophilia. It's Bonnie and Clyde syndrome. >> Mhm. >> And um I I was saying how like I I just can't
wrap my brain around it because in my mind I can at least sit there and and know the difference between cuz I
love villains like in general villains. >> And I know that that doesn't work in real life. A villain doesn't work in
real life. I've dated a villain. It doesn't work in real life. And it's like so you find that out and we and it takes
people a long time trust me. I was in my 20s being like the villain will work out
in real life like what are we thinking about? I can fix him. But it's like so I do wonder if like you look back on it
now if she could look up back on it now if she's like you know what? That wouldn't
>> Well because the villain >> again it's fiction so it's like there is a line here.
>> I see what what saying but I think the problem in that scenario is Jacob is not
written as a villain. That is a big problem that is overarching >> Yeah. >> in this series, I think. No one is
>> presented as a villain. >> Exactly. He is acting >> like how a villain would act, but he's
not presented in that way. >> No, he's not. He's presented in like >> Oh, poor Jacob. Like he just loves her
so much and >> It's true. >> he's really getting the [ __ ] end of the stick here. Let's feel bad for him.
>> Yeah. >> And it's like, no. >> Mhm. >> He's acting like a [ __ ] incel. >> Yeah.
>> It's true. >> And that is I think that is part of the problem is he's not given to you on a
plate as a villain where you can accept it. >> No, you could buy a [ __ ] t-shirt back
in the day that said team Jacob. >> Of course. >> Cuz you were like rooting for him to be
the one that she loved. >> loved. >> And it's like that's the thing. Like if you're presenting me a villain, like
you're presenting me Eric Northman in True Blood. He is very much a villain. >> He is ruthless. He is like
>> Poor decisions, like does shitty things. >> and he and they are saying he is a
villain. >> it. >> So it's like you can be like, yeah. Like let's make him do villainous things.
>> be team Eric like in a silly fun way. >> Exactly. Cuz you're like, well, he's a
villain. Like it's fake. >> I think the other problem, too, is this is Y A. >> Yeah.
>> This isn't like this was Am I correct? Y A? Like So that's not you can't present
Jacob like this and be audience okay. >> The audience is impressionable. Much more impressionable than an adult
audience. >> this and was like, oh my god, that's kind of sexy. And then I'm like, oh my
god, as an adult, like holy [ __ ] That's assault. >> Yeah. >> You know? Like really
>> You have to think like young girls are reading this and they might be in an experience like that and then they're
just going to be like, well, maybe I'm in love with this guy. >> Yeah, maybe I am and maybe he's right.
Like that's why these things happen. It's true. It's not okay. >> No, it's so true.
>> I hate it. >> Can we talk about the bracelet? Let's move on a little bit. Oh my god, the
[ __ ] bracelet. Okay, so I Is it the post-graduation party? >> Yeah, it's the graduation party.
>> He shows up and this is She hasn't seen him after she punched him in the face
because he kissed her. And she literally like banned him from being anywhere near
him. She was like, "Stay the [ __ ] away from me." So he rolls up to her graduation party, which is rude because
he was uninvited. >> He was. >> And he's like, "I'm sorry. Like I know what I did was wrong, but I did bring
you a gift." He brings her a [ __ ] bracelet where he's like whittled a wolf charm together
to represent him. I'd be like, >> And she just wears that [ __ ] >> You're a narcissist.
>> Yeah. >> I got to wear you around now? >> That's the thing. Like what the [ __ ]
>> But she is. >> And it's like a tag. Like it's literally like, "You're mine." >> There's If there could have been an
airtag in it, there would have been. And then she wears it in front of Edward and it's just like, "Yeah, like
Jake made it for me." >> And wearing it like you're in the Cullen's house right now.
>> house and not wearing that. >> Your mortal enemies. >> She's wearing it, I think like on the
mountain after they've been engaged. >> Yeah. And not wearing her engagement ring.
>> Mama. >> That's the other thing. >> You're not wearing your ugly ass engagement ring and you're wearing your
ugly ass wolf pendant? >> No [ __ ] >> It's the way and like like that brings me right to how she reacts to
>> the marriage thing in the book because in the in the movie she's also like she's more acting in the movie,
I would say, like she's worried what people are going to think. >> Yeah, cuz she was I think she even says
like in the beginning and like obviously it's like kind of shitty, but she's like, "What do you think when people are
engaged get married?" Oh, she's pregnant. >> it is very much like Edward is forcing
her to get married. She is not in any way, shape, or form into this. At one point during their like romantic night
together where it's supposed to be romantic, but holy [ __ ] it does not And it's like just that the way that she's
thinking. We'll get there. >> Oh my god. >> She says like she's they're talking about it. They're talking about like,
you know, like they're talking about like the whole thing of like you're going to, you
know, are you going to agree to turn me? Are you going to follow through on your
promise kind of thing? And she he says at some point he like finishes she's like, oh and and now all of a sudden I'm
and he says, you're engaged. And like he says it like just being sweet. Her response to that?
>> Okay. >> Ew, please don't say that out loud. I'm not kidding. >> That's like right after they get
engaged. >> He literally says, you're engaged and she just says, ew, please don't say that
out loud. They're not around anyone else. >> Oh my god. >> They're not around anyone else.
>> Can you imagine? Your [ __ ] man's just gets down on one knee and like, you're beautiful,
you're gorgeous, you look like Linda Evangelista. I want to spend the rest of my life with you and you're like, oh my
god, yes. >> Yeah. And then he's like, we're engaged. And he Ew. And then his res he's like, excuse me?
>> He says, the [ __ ] >> And he says, are you going back on your word? And so she says, I glared at him. And
then she says and he says, are you? And she goes, ugh, no, I'm not. Are you happy now?
>> Oh my god. >> And he just says, exceptionally. >> Are you exceptionally happy?
Babe, what? >> Babe. >> What? >> asks her, he says, are you happy? And she says, a little bit. And then she
says, but not about getting married. >> Here's the thing, it also makes no [ __ ] sense that she's acting this way
about getting married. >> You're obsessed with him. >> She literally at one point in the movie
says, I want to tie myself to you in every human way possible. >> That's the most human way you can
actually tie yourself to someone. >> also is like, it's just a piece of paper. >> Yeah.
>> And it's like, okay, one, no, it's not. >> It makes no sense and during that >> contradictory.
>> During that that same like night, like right before that where she's trying to
[ __ ] >> That [ __ ] is so DTF. >> He and then and he does it in the book, too. It's like a thing that happens in
both. She while they're making out, she is trying to get things going and he literally says, "Bella, stop trying to
take your clothes off." >> I would find the nearest body of water and walk all the way into it.
>> That would send me into psychosis. Like I would go into psychosis. >> I would die a virgin.
>> I couldn't recover. >> never want to touch that again. >> recover from that. >> If you're getting freaky with your man
and he says, "Stop trying to take your clothes." Oh my god. >> And the way he says it
>> Why don't you just put a [ __ ] bullet through my head? >> The way he says it is so [ __ ]
disgusting, too. He's like, "Stop trying to take like you whore." That's essentially what he sounds like he's
saying there. >> It's like He's like, "No one wants to see that." >> "No one wants to see that." I'd I'd go
into cardiac arrest in that moment. >> I cannot with that. That stresses me out in a way that I literally can't even
deal with. No, I really hate it. >> I can't deal with it. >> Okay, so that's like that's like the
Bella and the Jacob and the the marriage of it all. We also have to talk about like the whole premise basically like
like the overarching premise is that Victoria is back and she wants to kill the [ __ ] out of Bella.
>> Yeah, and here's here's one thing about me. >> Okay, talk to me. >> So, the way that she does that cuz you
know, like Alice is like listening to her thoughts >> Yeah. >> is she needs to get some people to do
her bidding, her new vampires. So, she finds this guy >> Riley. >> Riley. And she turns him and at first
when I saw Riley running down the street, I was like, "Oh, okay, like whatever."
There he is. >> Yeah. >> And then they show him a vampire and I said I'm into it.
>> That I was like team Riley. I I seem to always be team Riley. >> He's very like team Riley during Buffy,
too. Yeah. >> Uh Finn, Riley. Uh but I love him as a vampire. >> Agreed. >> Didn't get enough of him as far as I'm
concerned. We would have loved to have seen him be menacing to everyone else. >> Yeah.
>> Just saw him lurking about a little bit. >> very kind of like glazed over. I think
that's one of the bigger problems, too, is like I don't quite understand why she needs
an army of vampires. >> I don't understand Bella. >> Yeah. >> Cuz she could sort of just use Riley.
>> I guess she wanted like I know, that's the thing. I feel like she could just use Riley. But then maybe she wanted
like a bigger layer of protection. I don't know. >> Yeah. I don't know. Did you come across
anything in the illustrated guide? >> just kind of like the same kind of thing. It's more that she was
she is not going to put herself at risk, so she will do anything to make sure she's
padded with enough. >> So maybe that's what it is. Maybe that's it's like reinforcements.
>> Because the whole thing >> I think Alice, the reason Alice can't see that this is going to happen is
because she hasn't met Riley before. I think in order for Alice to see like your path, she has to know you.
>> That makes sense. >> Which makes sense cuz otherwise she'd just be seeing paths left and right.
>> Yeah, I think that makes sense for sure. And I think in the book and in the in
the illustrated guide as well uh we see that Riley is like really struggling with
cuz Victoria's pretending to love him. >> To get him to to make him very loyal. >> Right.
>> And so but he's struggling with it, not sure if she's telling the truth. And but
he's like really obsessed with her loving him and like needing to know that he does.
And I think we didn't get enough of that in the movie. >> You don't get a lot of it at all.
>> been nice to see that. And because then at the end when Riley shows up and is
listening to Edward try to tell him like she doesn't love you. Like you're from Forks, bro. Like you know the area.
That's the only reason she grabbed you. And you can see it like hitting. >> Yep.
>> But then it just kind of doesn't and like when he says, "You're dead." >> Yeah.
>> Also, for some reason I was like, "Whoo, Riley." Uh but all that did it immediately does.
>> I thought that was kind of lame. >> I kind of loved it. >> Okay. >> I wanted it to go further though. I
hated that it got cut off right there. >> And also like the way he dies though is
cool. >> It is. >> Cuz the wolf isn't Jacob that comes >> No, I think it's Seth.
>> I have no idea. All the wolves just be coming. >> Seth. >> Well, he just like rips his hand off.
And I love the way they break like glass. >> Yeah, they shatter like marble. >> Well, and and I think if we had gotten
more of him being like in the movie, being like so obsessed with Victoria and like being so insecure and having this
like undying loyalty. Like you get a little bit of it in the movie. I just thought it could be a little further
because I think then the end scene would have hit a little >> harder. >> You would have felt more like, "Oh,
[ __ ] man." Like you were like you would have felt a little bit more like that when you were just kind of like, "Oh,
that sucks, bro." Like I was just kind of like, "Bye." >> Yeah. >> And I think he was very good at being
menacing. >> Yeah, I think so. >> Because that shot of them all coming out of the water could have gotten really
[ __ ] super hokey. >> Okay. >> And he's scary in it. Like his face is scary. >> He's for sure scary in it, but that [ __ ]
is funny. >> crazy and that's the thing. It's like it could have been so much funnier.
>> I think cuz he had like that he's played by Xavier Samuel and I think he did a
great I think he would be really good at a villain. Like a bad guy cuz he he had
menacing vibes to him. He just wasn't given enough to work with as far as I'm concerned.
>> Yeah. >> Um but yeah, I loved I thought when they shatter into glass, I'm kind of obsessed
with it. >> Especially then when Victoria does ultimately get killed. >> Yeah, but I'm also Oh, she the hers This
so cool. >> Hers is really cool. >> head and it's like and it literally looks like crystal.
>> Yes. >> And but which is cool, but I also wonder sometimes why Stephanie Meyer
over complicated some of her uh lore, because she really wrote herself into like she like
wrote herself into corners sometimes. Because >> like they're like supposedly supposed to be
like uh stone. >> Like marble. >> Yeah. >> That's why they're cold. That's why all
that. Like they're hard, blah blah blah. >> That's why they're clinking when they
kiss. >> That's why they clink. And never has Bella listened to his family clink.
>> You got to follow Sarah Gallagher on Tik Tok. I've I said this in the other ones,
but keep doing it cuz she's so funny. >> that with bowls, and she'll be like, "This is all they hear." And she just
clinks them together, and it's the funniest [ __ ] >> Um but also they cannot There's several
layers to this. They only kiss closed mouthed in the book. >> Yeah. >> Because one, he has marble hard lips.
So in one of the in the beginning of the book, she says and I and I quote "If I had my way, I would spend the
majority of my time kissing Edward. There she says, 'There wasn't anything I'd experienced in my life that compared
to the feeling of his cool lips, marble hard, but always so gentle moving with mine.'"
Marble hard? Like that doesn't sound fun. >> It doesn't sound fun. >> on top of that, they can't open their
mouths to kiss. >> The venom. >> Because venom is every single one of their body bodily fluids, including
their saliva. Right. So they can't make out. >> Yeah. >> So it's like why did you do that? Like why did you
make it like and I think and again, I think this is like a we're bringing the the the desire kind of thing to like a
breaking point kind of cuz they can't even >> open mouth kiss. >> You have not even made out.
>> Well, I'm also just like if like you want to spend all your time Are you just
like That's the thing. They're literally just going pecking over and over again cuz
that doesn't sound very enjoyable. >> And I'm like that's not and they couldn't do that in the movie so they
were like, you know what? [ __ ] the venom thing. We're just going to like have them make out.
>> And when it's like when they can't translate it into film because it's that wild.
>> Yeah. >> That you got to rethink that one. Like that one that one's just like I'm
surprised nobody was like we should rethink this one cuz it causes a lot of problems later.
>> Like that's just that's a lot. Like >> I don't understand. I'm like that I feel
like that could have been taken out. >> Yeah. >> I don't think all their saliva needs to
be venom. And again, like she's, you know, she's Mormon so it's like there's a lot of like
very chaste and, you know, uh like abstinence favor in favor of abstinence before
marriage kind of undertones that we all know are flying throughout this. >> Yes.
>> And I think this just adds to it cuz it's like not only can they not [ __ ] >> Can open mouth kiss.
>> can't even open mouth kiss cuz he's got venom in his mouth while like it's it
really is it's like such a >> Doesn't Does the venom get into her mouth a little bit in the first one and
doesn't she like almost pass out or something? >> No, I don't think they >> No. >> Cuz they don't they don't follow that
lore. Like at least from the mouth. Like that saliva has venom in it. >> Okay. >> I think in the movies they don't follow
that. >> No, no, I mean in the book. Doesn't something weird happen in the book where
she almost passes out when they kiss? >> Oh, yeah, she does almost pass out when
they kiss but I don't know I think that's literally just because she cuz they don't open mouth kiss. That's her
And I think we talked about it. She was almost passing out >> from that kiss. >> hard tight-lipped kiss.
>> [ __ ] >> Yeah. So then again, when I look at it that way and And I say, "Okay, so when you
started making out with Jacob for four pages and you could actually make out with him, you probably did fall in love
with him in that moment because you're probably like, holy [ __ ] like what is this?
Like what's going on?" But, yeah, so that's that's wild. That's wild. And then we still have um
Confederate Jasper. Uh Confederate Jasper gets more Confederate. >> gets he he's
>> He's calling people ma'am. >> Ma'am. Suddenly he has real real thick drawl. >> Yeah.
>> And only in some parts though. Only sometimes. And when he does, he's just so proud to be a Confederate.
So so proud to be the youngest major in the Texas Cavalry, ma'am. >> He lied about his age.
>> It's I said, why do why >> Why are we harping on this? >> Cuz that's it's like he can be from the
South from that time period. >> Yep. >> And you could do so many different things with that. You could have made
him just, you know, from You could have made him from a really fancy ass family.
>> Yeah. >> And he's just a Southern gentleman, you know? >> Yeah, that would have been nice.
>> Or you could have made him be so that like he was in the war on the Confederate side unwillingly.
>> Yeah. >> And that that he carries that. And that he says, "I wasn't for the cause and it
haunts me every day that I had to be part of that." >> that's part of why he has that power of
like >> But he feels no emotion. Like feel the emotion. Exactly. Like you can make that
a part of his past. And nobody's saying that you you pretend the Civil War didn't happen. Pretend that Confederate
soldiers don't exist. Like I don't There's many ways to make that something in his past that you could get
away from it. But they just whole chest. Make him not only a Confederate soldier, a proud past
Confederate soldier, but he is so psyched to bring that [ __ ] up again. >> When he's talking to Bella about this,
he says, "When I was human, I lived in Houston, Texas. I was almost 17 years old. I was almost 17 years old when I
joined the Confederate Army in 1861. I lied to the recruiters and told them I was 20. I was tall enough to get away
with it." >> Jesus Christ. >> And then he says, "My military career was short-lived, but very promising."
"People always liked to me, listen to what I had to say. My father said it was charisma." But he says the Confederate
Army was new and scrambling to organize itself, so that provided opportunities as well.
>> Oh. >> And I'm like, so where like where he's just like, yep, killed it, loved it,
let's do it again. I'm going to use my skills from there for this because even in the same scene, he's explaining to
Bella how he was turned. And he's turned by this woman named Maria, um, and he was like she was this Mexican
woman that he had met while he was in the Confederate Army. And he's talking about it and he says, "Her features were
clearly Mexican, but she was pale as marble >> Mhm. >> in the moonlight." And it's like
>> There's a lot wrong with that. There's so much happening there, but I'm also like so she they even double down there
by saying and in the book and in the movie they double down there by saying even though this woman could have had
like like brown skin or olive skin or some type of like you know, complexion that is different from pale white.
She didn't. No matter what, you always are just pale white. >> Yep, you're pale white as you're talking
about a Confederate soldier being turned by it's just there's so much and I'm just like this is so weird. It is. It's
weird that it just gets passed over and then it's weird that like we're supposed to love him and Alice,
but I'm like Alice, what the [ __ ] He's a Confederate soldier. Like I don't like
you got to and he's and he's still proud of it, babe. Not Not once have I heard that man say
I wouldn't join today. Or like >> Well, that's the thing. That's >> Give him something.
>> That's what needed to be in there is like I am this great soldier and that you know, I can go You know what would
have been perfect? Had he struggled leading? >> Yeah. >> Because the whole thing is like Jasper's
helping them like make make an army together to to face the newborn vampire army. It would
have been even better if he struggled getting back into that role because he had so many regrets from the past.
>> Exactly. It's like so that he just he he had all this regret. He has all this
like shame on his shoulders. >> Yes. And also the Confederacy lost. So he wouldn't technically be a great
leader because >> Period. >> Because let's be real. >> The north remembers. >> Like I'm like that's Let's just be real
about it. That's just >> of history girls coming out too. >> That's just history, baby.
>> Is it? Is it? Is it? >> Uh but it's like why did we I think I just >> don't understand why.
Why was it brought into his present? Why is he proud of it? >> Yep. >> Why is it a part of everything? You
could have had cuz I don't see something wrong with having somebody in that time
period because it's a vampire. They're going to be from all different time periods.
>> Yeah. >> And people are different in different time periods. So I can see having
somebody who was a Confederate I I will even give you that, which is giving a lot.
>> Because I personally wouldn't do that, but I can at least try to wrap >> Like having it be historically accurate.
>> Historically accurate, having that be his past, and having that be part of him becoming what he is today.
>> Yep. >> That's the thing though. Make him grow. >> Yeah. There's no way. >> And I don't when he's sitting there
being like hell yeah, like I was the >> Getting back into his element. >> youngest major in the Texas hot cavalry,
it's like [ __ ] You're just like I don't know about that. Like I don't I just don't
know about that. >> good. >> So was weird. Um I thought that was a whole weird thing.
>> Another backstory though that gets revealed is Rosalie's. >> Yes. >> Rosalie's. And this
>> Rosalie's >> to say about. >> Rosalie's is awful. >> It's >> But I love her [ __ ] revenge arc.
>> I absolutely love her revenge arc. >> I would I don't think we got enough of it.
>> No, I don't think we did either. I would have loved to see more of that so that I
could watch her slaughter all of those men. >> Oh, it would have been sick. >> I wish.
>> Oh, one thing I noticed in the book uh and I forgot about this. Rosalie's far more palatable in the book to to
Bella. >> Oh, like she's nicer to Bella. >> Okay. She's not nice, but she's like
>> nicer. >> nicer. She's more like respectful and less mean girl. >> Mhm. >> in the book I feel. Like she's got mean
girl energy, but like Nikki Reed I think plays her I I almost I like her Rosalie
better than the book Rosalie because I think Nikki Reed does like just [ __ ] y'all so well.
>> I think she has that perfect delivery and perfect face for it. Like she can give such good expressions. So it is
different to see Rosalie be so different book and in movie. But we get the we get her backstory because
she kind of storms out when at least in the movie when Bella's talking about being turned.
>> Mhm. >> Uh when Bella's kind of like being weird with Emmett about it. >> Yeah, she's low-key flirting.
>> I was like you're like maybe don't do that. >> She would annoy me to be quite honest if
she was talking to >> Right. >> to my to my man's like that. >> Yeah. >> But Rosalie in the book is talking about
and you know, she goes on. She tells her like this is why I don't think you should be so excited about being turned
>> Yeah. >> into a newborn. >> Yeah. >> And she tells the backstory. She says she came from like a middle class
family. She was marr but she said she was a looker. That was what she had going for her. She was the most
beautiful girl that anyone had ever seen. And she even says in the book which I literally wrote WTF. She wrote
she was pleased and she says pleased that men's eyes watched me everywhere I went from the year I turned 12.
Oh. >> That's not good. >> That's upsetting. >> No, it's not good. >> Um but the but that aside
uh she talks about how she was, you know, hooked up with this really fancy son of a banker, Royce King.
>> And Royce King and her were going to get married. They were going to have a lavish wedding and she says she was
never jealous of anybody because she was a [ __ ] dime piece. She was like what did I have to be jealous of? She says
except my friend Vera. And she says my friend Vera was married to a good man and she had a little boy.
>> And doesn't she say like Vera was like fine? >> Oh, she she says that later. She doesn't
say that until later. But she says it and Vera had a little boy so she was a mother and she said she wanted that. And
she's like and I was jealous. For the first time I felt jealous. And she but she's like, you know what?
She's like and I you know, I went to her house one night and as we were leaving,
her husband when he thought I wasn't looking gave her like the sweetest kiss on the cheek. And she said and for a
minute I thought like Royce doesn't do that and like that's not and then she was like, but whatever. Like I'm going
to have kids someday with Royce and it'll be amazing. >> I'll get the future that I want.
>> bothered me this is just like a writing thing. Probably cuz I'm like deep in writing right now so I'm like very
nitpicking all writing. But she wrote Royce was my prince, someday I would be queen.
And I said, you're going to be his mom? Like that's somebody should have caught that. Somebody should have been like,
up, nope. You either have to be the princess or he has to be king. Like you can't that cuz I was like that's that
doesn't make sense. >> No. >> nitpicky in the book but I'm like, that >> No, but I get that.
>> like, you're going to be >> That's just weird. >> Like I don't get it. Don't be his mama.
But she says that, you know, she was leaving that night and she happened to run into Royce and
his friends who were drinking on a street corner and he starts being like, "Oh, like look at my future wife. Isn't
she hot?" And they're like, "She's wearing too many clothes." And they literally like say they assault her.
>> Yeah. >> Isn't it like the night before she's to be married, too? >> it's soon, at least. They rape her and
they brutally assault her and leave her to die in the street. And I think in um at one point it says
that in the book he says that when when they were leaving she could hear them literally saying like you're going
to have to find a new wife, I guess. Because they were like, "Oh, she's dead. We killed her." Like that's how little
they cared. >> Nice. >> And what she does is she ends up getting turned by Carlisle who comes across her
>> bleeding in the street. >> book she's met Carlisle. Carlisle is the town doctor.
>> Okay. >> doesn't like him. >> Oh. >> And she doesn't like him because she said him, his wife Esme, and who were
they were saying >> Esme and Edward were sister and brother at that point. >> And so she said that they all
were more beautiful than her and it irritated her that the men were more beautiful than her.
So she didn't like him. >> I'm upset. >> And she said, "So what do you think of that?"
>> that. >> So when she come when he comes to save her, she's like, "What the [ __ ] Like of
course these [ __ ] are these more beautiful [ __ ] are going to save me." So of course Carlisle turns
her into vampire Rosalie. This really got me. Because she says she woke up and she says
"Shallow as it was, I felt better when I saw my reflection in the mirror the first time. Despite the eyes, I was the
most beautiful thing I'd ever seen. It took some time before I began to blame the beauty for what had happened to me.
For me to see the curse of it. To wish that I had been well, not ugly, but normal. Like Vera.
So I would have allowed to marry someone who loved me and have pretty babies. >> [ __ ]
Imagine reading your best friend a filth like that. >> Not only did you just read your best
friend a filth like that, but you're literally saying in strands >> that hot girls have it coming.
And it's like, I'm sorry, what? >> That's you being beautiful had nothing to do with the fact that you were raped
by multiple men and killed and left to >> No. Or like almost killed and left in the streets and everything to do with
bad men. >> Yeah. >> Has nothing to do with how beautiful you are. Holy [ __ ] >> Holy [ __ ]
>> better way to do that would have had her sit there and say, I blamed me for it.
>> Right. >> I started to blame me for it, but then I realized >> It's them. >> my fault. It's pig ass men who did it.
>> when I attacked them. >> that's when I attacked them because then after that she says,
>> This is so good. >> I picked them off one by one. And in the book she's like, I've only killed five
humans in my life. And she's like, it was all of them. And then she says And she says, I didn't I've never drank the
blood of a human. She says in the book. She's the only one besides Carlisle or No.
Esme. >> Okay. >> That hasn't drank the blood of a human. >> Wow. >> says And when she says, I've killed five
humans. She was like, but I don't want their blood in me. Like [ __ ] that. >> What a queen.
>> And she says And she says She's saying, I left Royce for last because he knew I was coming
because all of his friends had been murdered before him. >> She goes, so I killed five humans. And
then she goes, oops, seven. Just kidding because of the doormen. >> I was like, that's amazing. I was like,
I love that. >> Oh, wait a second. Seven. >> Just kidding. >> But I love too that she left him for
last. >> Left him for last and then she banged that door down wearing a [ __ ] wedding
dress. >> That is some Ready or Not type [ __ ] when >> says, I was more theatrical back then, I
love it. >> Nikki Reed eats that line, too. She eats this scene. >> can see in her eyes that she's like
reminiscing on it. >> about it, like that was great. >> aw, how fun. >> Yeah, like [ __ ] that was a lot of fun.
>> it. >> I >> I wish we got so much more of that in the movie. >> I would love to see all of their
backstories. I want to see Alice. I want to see all of them. I mean, I could We saw I'm like, you gave me Jasper's and
you don't give me anyone else? >> Alice's is so sad. She was like locked away by her parents.
>> And I would love to see >> gifts. >> Yeah, like I want to see Emmett. Like, what the [ __ ] happened with Show me
Emmett. >> Emmett was getting like mauled by a bear or something. >> me that. Let's show me what's going on.
>> And then Esme, I think Esme's is really sad. She, according to the illustrated
guide, um I think her son died and she jumped off a cliff. >> Yeah, that one was like crazy.
>> Yeah, that one was really sad. >> It's yeah, I would have loved to see that cuz I I thought that was awesome.
>> Yeah. >> And I just And it I like how it gave you like a little I do love that they gave you a little more
to why Rosalie is the way she is. >> too. You know? >> She's like, why would you give up
>> Yeah. >> my dream? >> She doesn't do it in the movie, but in the book she talks about how she cuz
Bella's like, why the [ __ ] did you Why do you hate me? Like, that still doesn't
answer the question like why are you so mean? And she's like Well, she says that
and then she says And also, she was like, I hate to do like she's like, I'm not trying to like be stupid now. And she
was like, but she was like, it annoyed me that Edward thought you were better than I was.
>> Because they were originally going to be together, right? >> They were I think Carlisle had wanted a
companion for Edward, but Edward wanted nothing to do with that. And she says she was like, he wanted he never showed
interest. And she was like, and to be honest, I thought he was annoying, too. Like, I didn't want to be with him. And
she was like, I still don't. And she's like, it's not cuz I want to be with him. I've just never been the second
best. Like, I've never been turned down like >> been >> the not the most beautiful.
>> I've never been the Vera. >> Yeah, I'm not the I'm I'm the Vera now? Like what the [ __ ] is that?
>> the normal looking one. >> Yeah, no, [ __ ] that. Like she's like I hate it. But she and she even says something in
the book about how like when they met the Was it the Denali tribe? >> Oh, yeah, yeah.
>> And she says like it's all females and like I thought, you know, like it she and he didn't show any interest in any
of them either. And like what the [ __ ] Like we were like what's going on until
you came. And later Bella's like super insecure about that and is like did they show interest in you? Like who's that?
And then we find out that one of them did. Like and I think she comes in Breaking Dawn. I think we see her.
>> Oh, [ __ ] >> I'm pretty sure. >> I don't remember any of that. >> remember who it is, but interesting. But yeah, I
love Rosalie's back story except for the fact that she's like, you know what? It was just
cuz I was too hot. If I had been ugly, I would have been fine. It's like, whoa. >> Everybody's flawed.
>> That's that's not it at all, babe. >> Speaking of like relationship dynamics though, we should talk about
Emily and Leah and Sam. >> [ __ ] yeah, we should. >> That is a [ __ ] up story.
>> Yeah. >> So, Sam is like the leader of the pack. >> The alpha. >> And he is married or I think engaged to
Emily. >> And she's the one like last time we were talking about like she has the scar on
her face cuz she was too close to him when he phased once. And now I think this is the first time that we're
introduced to Leah in the book and the movie. >> Yeah. >> And she has phased and remember her
phasing >> killed her father. >> Yeah. He had a heart attack. >> So, she gave him a heart attack because
he didn't think that like a girl could phase cuz previously it was all just the boys that did.
So, she originally dated Sam >> Yeah. >> for 3 years in high school. Her and this
is all according to the Illustrated Guide, her junior year of high school, he just went missing cuz I think like
weird [ __ ] was happening to him happening to him cuz he was going to be be soon and then he did.
He comes back after he's phased and is being like super duper secretive with Leah and won't tell her anything, won't
say where he was, like nothing. And then he goes to a barbecue at her house with her family and Emily, her
second cousin, is there. >> And like best friend. >> And lit- Yeah, it literally says they
were raised like sisters. Like they spent all of their free time together, like bestie girls.
>> Mhm. >> He sees Emily at this party as he's holding Leah's hands and imprints on
Emily. Drops Leah's hand and walks over to Emily and is like, "What the [ __ ] is up,
girl?" >> I would. I would. It's like he set fire. >> What the [ __ ] Now, this is all
according to the illustrated guide. It goes so deep into it. I actually do recommend it. This is the first time
that I've looked at it on my own myself. So, at first, Emily's like, "Fuck no, that's like super messed up to my bestie
girl cousin sister Leah." >> [ __ ] >> Like I would never do that to her, but then she just like can't really help
herself, it seems. >> Well, that he that night he leaves the party and the next day he breaks up with
Leah. >> Yeah, like inexplicably. >> starts pursuing Emily and Emily's like, "What the fuck?" And she tells Leah and
Leah's like, "What the fuck?" And in the illustrated guide, it's like she can't help herself but be attracted to Sam
either. And I was like, "But that's not how you set imprinting up to work." Because
it's supposed to be like the the wolf is the one that's imprinted. Like he's the one who can't stop. In fact,
and I'll find it because what the [ __ ] I have a note here that says imprinting
is [ __ ] gross. >> Well, because while you're looking for that, in the illustrated guide, it also
says that it is physically painful for Sam to be away from Emily now that he's imprinted on her. Like he can't be far
away from her. After that, like that whole thing when like she you know they get together and all that.
>> And Emily's like, "Yeah, like I was trying to keep it, you know, I but I couldn't stop, so we had to be together
and I just decided to betray my friend." And it's like, "Okay." And then she's like, "I tried to make it like not super
uncomfortable for her." Then she asked her to be a bridesmaid in her wedding. Emily?
Get [ __ ] Go [ __ ] yourself. >> You That is not girls-girl behavior. Are you [ __ ] kidding? If I was Leah, I
would say I'd rather shoot my kneecaps out, both of them, myself, than be in your wedding. Go [ __ ] yourself, Tess.
Guess what? I hope it sucks, okay? I will not be there. No, I'm not going to buy an ugly dress for your [ __ ]
wedding to my ex-boyfriend, you absolute trash [ __ ] Like, are you kidding me? >> I would Oh my god.
>> You [ __ ] dick muncher. >> I would I would go Walter Frey, Walder Frey, and Red Wedding that [ __ ] I'd
kill them all. >> show up in chainmail and I'd be like, "Let's go!" Get the Rains of Castamere playing,
everybody. >> I'd show up in chainmail and then I'd ride away on a dragon. >> [ __ ] you. [ __ ] you all.
I was so mad for her when I read that in the Illustrated Guide. I was like, "Fuck
you, Emily." So then in the book, speaking of imprinting, in the book, Jacob mentions
that um >> I'm sorry, I'm just picturing you in chainmail. >> Yeah. As Walder Frey.
>> Just >> Striking up the band. Let's go. You got to play Rains of Castamere. Um so
Quil, one of the wolf pack, has met the lovely lady with which he is going to imprint upon.
Uh he's imprinted on uh one of their cousins, Claire. And they're like, yeah, so they're just
like kind of like Emily doesn't really want him around Claire. And then Bella's like
And Bella's like, "Well, that's weird that Emily would be like weird about him being a wolf. Like is she being like
stupid? Like she's engaged to a wolf. Like what the [ __ ] And he's like, well, no.
Um it's because Claire is 2 years old. And I was like, and then he goes, don't be judgmental. Don't be judgmental.
>> Oh, okay. >> Don't be judgmental. Period. I'm calling the authorities. Like what do you mean
don't be judgmental? Hello, 911? >> That's insane. >> Hello? Are you What? And then he try he gets real defensive
about this. Like this is I'm like, I'm sorry if part of your whole vibe and aura is that your your people
[ __ ] imprint on babies. >> Yep. >> And that there's no man imprinting on a boy. There's no girl imprinting on a
girl. So it does imply romantic and also they imply romantic things here. Even though they say there isn't, they always
end up together. >> Yeah, and that's the goal. So it's like there is romantic [ __ ] here. It's
predatory. [ __ ] that. >> And so he and he gets so defensive about it. I'm like, I'm sorry, you need to be
a little more open to the fact that this is going to [ __ ] horrify everybody you tell.
>> Absolutely. >> And so he says she's like, yeah, that's really [ __ ] creepy. Like I'm not
going to lie to you, bro. >> Yeah. >> And he's like, it's not like that. You've got it all wrong. And then he
says, I've seen what it's like. There's nothing romantic about it all. Not for Quill. Not now.
And I'm like, nope, that's still predatory, babe. Cuz he's just waiting until she's of age. That's still weird.
>> That's even weirder almost. >> And it says, um it's hard to describe. It's like it's
not like love at first sight really. It's more like gravity moves. When you see her, suddenly it's not the earth
holding you here anymore. She does. The 2-year-old? And you're telling me that's not weird?
>> What the [ __ ] >> You're telling me that 2-year-old who just [ __ ] her pants is holding you to
the earth right now? >> No, and she is. >> Like that's what I like >> It literally in the illustrated guide
it said, "For me inside there could be nothing more pure than Quill's feelings for Claire."
>> [ __ ] up, Stephanie. >> would never do anything to hurt her in any way mentally or physically. I'm
like, "Mentally she might be [ __ ] up." >> But it's hurting me mentally, okay? >> It was mandated by the bond between
them. All the wolves could experience the nature of his feelings for her, so they knew exactly how deep it was, but
also how platonic it was. >> No. >> But they knew it was something that outsiders would not be able to
understand. So they kept the imprinting as secret as possible. I'm also like, "That's even more [ __ ] up."
>> really nefarious. >> But Quill could only be content with his situation as long was as long as Claire
was happy and safe, he was satisfied with life. >> No. And this is the thing, they're like,
"No, it's totally platonic." Really? Cuz what does this mean? When he's saying there isn't, you know,
there isn't a toddler on the planet that will be more carefully looked after than
that little girl will be. That's weird and predatory. >> like it. >> And then when she's older and needs a
friend, he'll be more understanding, trustworthy, and reliable than anyone else she knows. And then when she's
grown up, they'll be as happy as Emily and Sam. >> So they end up together. >> them [ __ ] So
>> why couldn't they end up more like a brother and a sister? >> Why can't they do that?
>> Because it's not platonic. >> I'm like, "Do you know what platonic means?" >> It's because they're not platonic.
Nothing about it is They always end up together. That's the goal. The goal is for them to end up together, and I hate
that they present it like that's not the case. I'm like, "That's Why the [ __ ] did
you make that up?" >> Well, I think the whole reason that she I don't even I don't
even know. Because I think she needed somebody other than Jacob to imprint on a child.
>> Horrifying. >> Which is [ __ ] >> Then why did you need to imprint at all? Why did Why does this need to be a
thing? >> Great question >> It's weird. >> In the illustrated guide, it literally
says, "Of lesser concern was the fact that so many members of the pack was were imprinting. According to legend,
imprinting was a rare event that the majority of werewolves would never experience."
>> but suddenly everybody's imprinting on everyone? >> They blame it on the Cullens.
>> Oh, please. >> They say, "The pack theorized that the increase in imprinting frequency was due
to the continued presence of the large Cullen coven. Their genetic subconscious was compensating compensating for the
constant vampire threat, pushing all of them towards paths that would result in a strengthened werewolf presence." But
>> You know what that means? Procreation, which again points >> Yes. >> to them creating babies by [ __ ]
which means they are not platonic. >> also Of course, that theory was dependent upon the truth of their first
theory that imprinted imprinting existed in order to pass on the werewolf gene, a
theory that in light of Jacob's imprinting experience has been called into question.
>> This is what I'm talking about. >> I like you're just contradicting the [ __ ] out of yourself.
>> Literally just contradicting the [ __ ] out of yourself. >> that I just read, contradiction,
contradiction, contradiction. >> are saying the whole point of imprinting is to keep that vampire gene going by
[ __ ] >> First >> Spreading seed. That's not platonic. >> First, you're saying imprinting is super
duper rare and doesn't happen. Then you're saying it's the Cullen's fault, and now it's to spread seed,
unfortunately. But at the same time it's somehow platonic. >> Platonic. >> And also to continue on the legacy, but
then it's not because Jacob imprints on a vampire human named Renesmee. >> Named Renesmee Carlie.
>> That's the other >> Carlie. >> Can we talk about that? >> and Carlisle together.
>> So, one last thing before we go there. >> Go girl. >> That may be crazy. >> Is Bella and when she tells them about
Claire, the two-year-old the two-year-old that has no choice in this matter. She says, "Doesn't Claire get a
choice here?" Period. And he says, "Of course, but why wouldn't she choose him?"
And I said, "Okay, you can take several [ __ ] seats right now. Why wouldn't she choose him? Because
she's two? I don't know. And he's the [ __ ] adult that has known her since she was born,
He's a weird [ __ ] uncle that's waiting in the wings to date you. Of course she doesn't have to choose
him. And it's just like showing like they they don't have a choice. Because their only choice here is to one give in
to it because why wouldn't she? And if you choose not to, then now you have just destined this
poor man to a life of loneliness cuz he you are his one true person. Not only loneliness, if you don't end up near him
if like in physical location, he will be in physical pain. And that's the thing.
So it's like So it is totally on this woman, this now Oh, excuse me, this two-year-old
that if she doesn't go with this and doesn't fall in love with him, that he now is just going You've destined him to
loneliness for the rest of his life. To be alone. And in pain. Yep. Babe, what the [ __ ] is up with that? Come on,
[ __ ] So while we were reading all of that, we were like, And then the Renesmee of all
which of it all which we're going to get to in part two or in breaking it down. In breaking it down. But before we get
there, so we were just saying that obviously Renesmee is the combination of their moms' names. And then Carly Carly
is her middle name according to the guide, which is a combination of the dads' names. So I said, "What would my
child's name be in that case?" It's pretty iconic. Are you guys ready? I don't think you're
ready. Donnie Joto. Donnie Joto goes so hard. Donnie Joto >> Hello, I'm Donnie Joto.
>> Amazing and you're >> Donnie Joto >> would be Carrie Dak. >> Carrie Dak >> Carrie Dak and
and Donnie Joto >> Why do they sound like two like >> Carrie Dak and Donnie Joto
>> I feel like they could go on a grand adventure. >> I think they're like they're like
explorers. >> They are. I think so. >> I like that a lot. >> I'm never going to be over Donnie
>> goes so hard. >> I love it so much. >> It really does. >> Um you know what doesn't go hard though?
>> girl. >> [ __ ] Victoria's hair in this. >> Okay, so let's talk about let's talk
about the switch up. So >> Yeah. >> Who was the original actress that played Rachelle Lefevre?
>> Oh, yes. >> Cuz she's not in this one. >> She got recasted. >> Dallas Howard.
>> And it's interesting. So I I was looking up like why she got recasted because she's literally like no
no shade to Bryce Dallas Howard, whatever. >> No. She's just not Victoria. >> No, she's not.
>> She's just not. >> She's not. >> The original Bryce the original the original Bryce Dallas Howard
the original Victoria was perfect. >> Yes. >> So Rachelle ended up getting recasted
because there was some like clause in her um in her contract where she couldn't go do like another movie in the
middle of filming. >> Yeah. >> Like for a super long time. But there was it's I mean obviously I haven't
looked at the contract, but she could she could do like short stints. >> Yeah. >> So she accepted a movie that was going
to be I think there was like a couple days overlap during the three month period where they were going to be uh
filming >> Yeah. >> Eclipse. And apparently they were very upset about it even though she was
within her rights to do it and they recasted her. And she was shocked, I guess. >> I think that was the dumbest move
imaginable. >> I do too because here's the thing. It was said to have only been a few days
over a three month filming course. Victoria's not even in the movie that was >> No, she's not.
>> So you could have just filmed her scenes when she either like before she left or
when she got back. And to not give her she's built up this character for two two movies and she's she's Victoria. I
think she's amazing at it and to not give her that end. >> That's the thing. >> Cuz that's the thing too. It's like this
is the end of her anyways. >> Yeah. >> So let her finish out the character. >> I don't understand. It's dumb as hell
because also no shade to Bryce Dallas Howard. She did what she could do. >> They don't look alike.
>> They don't look alike. >> And it's also like the hair drove me [ __ ] crazy. >> Because
>> because Victoria's hair in the first two movies she has like feral. >> It's well and it's like tousled like
>> and I live in the woods. I've been running through the woods kind of like big wavy just like
>> the thing. It's not curly. It's not like curled. >> No, it's waves and it's like
it's just like it's like a a feral in like a gorgeous way, you know what I mean?
>> a fairy creature. >> Yeah, like she is a fairy creature and it's like that and it makes sense and it
works. And then in this one they have it like super red. >> It's like in spiral curled and crunchy.
>> Like she literally looks like she took >> mousse and scrunched her hair. And it's shorter and it just doesn't
work. And it's a completely different hair color. And I'm like you just took me right out
of that storyline with that. >> And they also like it again no shade to Bryce Dallas Howard but she plays the
role completely different than Rachelle did. >> It's like softer and like not as edgy.
>> And and when she has a look of like uh like what? >> And and she sounds that way too.
>> And I feel like Victoria's like this slinky cat like like >> Yes. >> Like and she's more she is I've never
seen Victoria in the first two book in the two first two books or the first two movies be like
>> what? >> Like wide-eyed like I'm sorry mister. >> Like that's the idea that the third one
gives. And it just doesn't work. It's not >> don't understand why somebody on set
wasn't like, "Let's try that again in like a different way." Or just >> I don't understand.
>> kept Rochelle. >> And even at the end I was like, "This isn't satisfying." Cuz I haven't seen
her in two movies, so it makes me upset. >> Yeah. >> I really didn't like it. >> Yeah. That I would I so wish that we had
the end with Vic the real Victoria. >> It's true. >> real Victoria please stand up?
>> Truly. And another thing in this movie just to like close all this out is um Renee continues being the worst mother.
>> Why is Renee not at graduation? >> to graduation. >> And she gives Bella a gift when cuz So
Bella goes to visit her mom because the Cullens actually bought her round trip round trip flight because she's going to
be changed soon, so this is probably going to be the last time she sees her mom.
>> Yeah. >> Because also apparently her mom's not coming to her [ __ ] high school
graduation. >> Or going to see her in college? Like, what? She was like, "I'm not going to
come visit you." >> I was like, "What the fuck?" >> She's like, "Well, you're going to Well,
Renee's a [ __ ] according to the illustrated guide, too, because she hates the sun She hates the rain. So if
she's not near the sun, she can't she can't live. Yeah. >> And it's like, "Get over it."
>> and Charlie apparently like met while she was on a road trip. They got married. They had this like whirlwind
romance. And he was taking care of his parents. His mom had Alzheimer's, and his dad had some kind of mobility
issues. So they lived like down the street and were taking care of them. And then
she just decided that she couldn't handle life in Forks anymore, and she was experiencing postpartum depression,
too, apparently. And also remember this is a fictional character. >> Yeah. >> So she up and left Charlie. And and
wanted him to move with her. And she It literally says she knew it wasn't kind to ask him to abandon his parents and
>> Yeah, like what do you want him to do? >> was like, "No, I can't do that." He's
also their only child. >> Yeah. >> So she was like, "Okay, well, like I'm going to go move back to California.
>> our baby and leave. >> And she did. >> Yeah. >> And then also she just like wasn't
really a mom when Bella was growing up. The Illustrated Guide says that Bella was doing their bookkeeping by age 10.
>> Yeah. And her mom like never like didn't know how to cook, like wouldn't make the
meals, like didn't do >> Literally didn't know like what she was doing with her kids. She had to do
everything herself. >> Like when you read the book and you read some of the things like
she she was the parentified child. >> Oh absolutely. Cuz also >> It's it even says in the Illustrated
Guide that she didn't object to Bella leaving because she knew that she'd be okay in Forks.
>> Yeah. >> And like because she had found this new man. >> Yeah, Phil. She's got her baseball
player Phil. >> It's like and he's adventurous like she is. >> I'm like wow, you're a [ __ ] mom and you
probably shouldn't have had kids. >> It's true. And I you know what the last thing I
have to say is um I saw this pointed out by someone and I was like I can't get over how much of
a fumble this is that they didn't use the um the line from the book which is when Jacob and Bella are
talking about like how he's like you love me but you love him like blah blah blah. So they're talking about how like
um you know, he can deal with a like she's saying like you know, I have all this stuff going on and he's like and
basically refers to them as like the clouds in my life. >> Mhm. >> And he's like I can deal with that he
says the clouds I can handle but I can't fight with an eclipse. >> Ah. >> Edward is the eclipse.
>> Right. >> And that's why the book is named Eclipse. And I was like why didn't you
leave that in the movie? >> Yeah. >> It's a good line too I thought. >> So I'm like that was a weird thing to
skip. That's really weird. >> Literally the perfect way to end this. >> Yeah. >> Look at you calling it. I didn't even
know you were going to say that [ __ ] >> I can handle but I can't fight with an
eclipse. >> Wow. >> Yeah. >> How that is a great [ __ ] line. >> It is a great line.
>> Like kudos. >> going over these movies more than I love oxygen. Breaking Dawn part one and two
is going to be so unhinged that I can't even like this was subdued. >> Yeah. >> Compared to what? Cuz we did I think
this just wasn't like our favorite one. >> Yeah, it's not my favorite one. So it
really doesn't hit as hard but >> Breaking Dawn goes I also was just saying to Elena, I can't remember the
last time that I saw Breaking Dawn. >> No, I can't either. >> I had last Halloween I watched Twilight
New Moon and I watched half of Eclipse I never finished it. So we finished it for
this but Breaking Dawn one and two I don't I the last time I saw those might have
been the first time I watched them. >> Yeah. >> I don't know that I've ever rewatched
them. >> I don't know if I have. >> I'm so excited. >> going to be a real experience.
>> And we're going to do two separate episodes. >> Yeah, we'll do two separate ones. We'll
keep it going. >> Hell yeah. >> Yeah. >> All right brothers, well we'll see you then and we hope you enjoyed this.
>> We hope you did. >> And we hope you keep listening. >> And we hope you keep it weird.
>> But not so weird that like you um act like anyone in this book. Period. >> Literally.
>> Mhm.

This month’s bonus episode we are revisiting Eclipse, where the stakes are higher, the wigs are worse, and the love triangle is somehow even more unhinged. Bella Swan continues her lifelong hobby of making absolutely baffling decisions as she’s torn between sparkly control enthusiast Edward Cullen and aggressively boundary-ignoring werewolf Jacob Black. Meanwhile, a literal vampire army is being assembled… but sure, let’s focus on Bella’s engagement anxiety. Revisit the series that puts the 'why?' in 'Y.A.' So queue up the movie, dust off your copy, and continue with us as we spiral back into the alarmingly problematic world of The Twilight Saga! Want a signed copy of THE BUTCHER LEGACY? Click here to order from Premiere Collectibles!

Cowritten by Alaina Urquhart, Ash Kelley & Dave White (Since 10/2022) Produced & Edited by Mikie Sirois (Since 2023) Research by Dave White (Since 10/2022), Alaina Urquhart & Ash Kelley Listener Correspondence & Collaboration by Debra Lally Listener Tale Video Edited by Aidan McElman (Since 6/2025) Listener Tale Theme Music licensed from https://www.purple-planet.com Main Theme: Matti Paalanen — Trick or Treat — Provided by Jamendo Ad Music: Title: Artist: BlueJay Studio — Spooky Waltz — Provided by Jamendo

Brief Summary

Alaina and Ash discuss <i>Eclipse</i>, character dynamics, problematic relationships, and the film's portrayal of imprinting and character backstories.

Key points

Box Office Success of Eclipse. Eclipse is revealed to be the highest-grossing film of the series domestically.
Charlie’s Unusual Advice. A shocking quote from Charlie about Bella's behavior raises eyebrows.
Bella's Autonomy Questioned. Bella's lack of self-knowledge leads to her needing guidance about her feelings. "She doesn't know how she feels. She needs to be told."
Edward's Control. Edward's attempts to control Jacob's thoughts highlight the tension in their relationships. "Can't you at least attempt to control your thoughts?"
Toxic Relationships. The discussion highlights the unhealthy dynamics in Bella and Jacob's relationship, showcasing moments of emotional manipulation and dependency.
The Bracelet Incident. Jacob gifts Bella a bracelet, symbolizing possessiveness and unhealthy attachment, which she wears even in front of Edward.

Episode highlights

Episode quotes

Holy [ __ ].

3:33WatchApr 28, 2026

Tension

45/ 100Some tension

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