Possessed by Paperbacks: A Chat with Grady Hendrix | Morbid | Podcast | Forensic Files

Hey weirdos. I'm Ash. I'm Elena. >> And I'm Grady. >> And this right here is Morbid.
[Music] And this is a very special episode of Morbid. We have Grady Hendris on the show.
>> That's me. >> Thank you for coming. This is amazing. >> Oh, yeah. No, I'm I'm always happy to
talk. I um you know, talking is my preferred mode of existence. If I'm not talking, I'm not sure I exist.
>> You're really good at talking. Yeah, you're a great talker. >> Thank you. Well, I'm in the middle of
trying to finish a book right now, so all I do is sit in silence and hate myself. So, it's nice to talk and not
think about my shortcomings. >> Do you find that relatable, Elena? I was going to say that is like the best way
to describe writing a book. Sitting in silence and hating yourself. >> Yeah, >> I find I do that often.
>> I do that when I'm not writing a book. So, >> yeah. Hey, there you go. You know,
>> we can all be there. >> It's fun anytime. >> It is. Anybody can do it. >> Uh but like Ash just said, I mean, Grady
is a best-selling author, journalist, screenwriter, podcaster, and absolutely iconic public speaker.
>> Thank you. You really are because we went to >> You're You're incredible at it because
we went to your event at Unlikely Story for Witchcraft for Wayward Girls. >> Oh, yeah.
>> Um Yeah. Me, Mikey, and Ash went. >> It was so fun. >> That event was such a blast. It's such a
unique book event. If anybody has not gone to Grady's events, I strongly encourage you to cuz it's unlike any
other book event I think you're ever going to be at. >> 100%. Well, you know, I I just figure if
people actually leave the house for a book event, there should be, you know, they it should be fun.
>> Um, and they should be assured that that indeed I'm the stupidest person in the
room, not them, and they can just relax. >> That's what it's all about. Cuz it's so
true. I was thinking the same thing. I was like, people are leaving their house and they definitely get something out of
leaving their house for your events. >> Well, well, I mean, there's so much you can do in I mean, there's Netflix,
there's the fridge, there's snacks. There's so much more in the house. How do you like leaving it has to be at
least marginally worthwhile? >> Yeah, you really got to dangle a carrot. >> Yeah.
>> If you're going to get me out of my house, >> but also this your your event was so
like it struck me by how well researched that entire dissertation was. It was incredible. I feel like I learned so
much during that. >> Well, no, I appreciate it. You know, it's funny. When I'm writing a book, I I
do research, but most of my research is really nuts and bolts and logistical like, oh, you know, what was on TV in
1970 in this part of Florida on a Thursday night. Um, and then I do all the fun research like witches, like
let's go down every rabbit hole at the end when the book's done when I'm putting the show together. And that's
really >> kind of a reward to myself because I'm a research nerd. Yeah. Um, but that's
really fun to be able to just go like I don't have an end point in sight, right?
I'm just like I don't need like what's a cool spell or something spell like or how can I go, you know? It's just like
what? Okay, sure. You know, let's let's just run down this rabbit hole as far as
it'll go. >> That's what it feels like. It feels like just being able to just like sprint down
whatever rabbit hole you want to sprint down because it's true when you're researching just like the logistics
there has to be an end or you're cuz that happens to me sometimes like with research with writing I'll start like
going down a tangent then I'm like no no no stop you have to come back here >> because then I'm like three hours in and
I've written like four words. >> Yeah. Well, it's also, you know, the thing that's also really fun about the
Witch Show is I I'm sort of a history nerd and um I can't remember who said this, but someone once said, you know,
people like kids kids now, they think they invented sex. And so when they read something that's sort of like, you know,
like kind of horny from like the 19th century, they're all like, "Heavens to Betsy." And to me, being able to go back
to people in the 19th century or early 20th century and make them seem present and vital and not dum dums, like the
whole part about Sylvia Towns and Warner and writing Molly Willows and this sort
of boom in the 20s of women really embracing Satanism and witchcraft as these sort of like avenues for
liberation. Like I'm not even sure you'd find that in the 80s, you know, or the 90s. Really? No, definitely definitely
not. Yeah. With satanic panic and all that. >> Oh, yeah. >> Exactly. So, it's really fun to sort of
go back and like I don't know make these people who can often get written off as
being fuddy duddy dusty old people >> like alive, you know, and vital >> cuz you always see like, you know,
obviously there's no like pictures of people from really long ago. So, you always see these like paintings or
imagery of people and they always look like very serious and like >> super stuffy.
>> Yeah. And it's like when you start thinking of them doing like everyday human things and having like human urges
and it like it's such a different perspective and I think you did a really good job like giving that to the
audience. >> Thanks. >> You're welcome. >> Yeah. There's a there's a quote Alan Moore gave uh the guy who writes comic
books uh when he did this Victorian Jack the Ripper thing called From Health where he was giving an interview and he
said, "You know, if you could actually teleport yourself back to 1888, you would look around and it would look like
science fiction to you. You wouldn't be able to speak the language. You wouldn't
understand the measurements. You wouldn't know what people were saying to you. You would be in a completely alien
planet." Um, and you know, it's like one of those things where I'm always thinking, um, you know, if you go back
to the 18th, I mean, I would say 19th, maybe even later, everyone was drunk just pretty much all the time. Like, you
know, the amount of booze they were packing away on a daily basis. Like, they were just always making the worst
decision. >> Yeah, they were really going for it back then. >> Yeah. >> They were just like living through the
worst decisions as well, so they're probably like, "We might as well just be like lit through all of this." It was a
coping mechanism really like everything's smelly and dirty. We might as well just
>> not remember. >> We might as well just like Yeah, just like put a happy face on this.
>> Yeah, let's go. >> It's And it's You answered one of my questions cuz I was going to ask if you
had to do like a whole separate version of research for the events that you do for writing and
>> Oh, yeah. Yeah. >> Yeah. That's what I figured. It makes sense. But yeah, that's interesting to
hear. And we loved it. We raved about it afterwards. Um, but moving into another
one of your amazing works that we're obsessed with. We loved My Best Friend's Exorcism. I think so many people love
that book. And >> thank you. >> You are one of my favorite authors of all time. >> Very nice of you.
>> And we love all your books. But our listeners loved when we did My Best Friend's Exorcism for we did like an
audio book club episode where we covered it. >> Um, and people loved it. They just went
nuts about it. They loved how you were able to tell the story from like a female perspective and really get into
the time frame. You're a really gifted storyteller obviously and we just want to know like where did this all start?
Like where did your storytelling begin? Were you like a horror guy forever or where did this all start?
>> No, I mean horror wasn't really my thing as a kid. I I found the book covers kind
of gross. Like they really put me off. Um, and so like I read Clive Barker and Stephen King like anyone would those
Alfred Hitchcock treasury editions that used to be in every like middle school library. Um, but for me horror was was
movies. >> Uh, and so my friends and I would rent, you know, tapes from the video store
because that's I grew up in the 80s. >> I miss video stores. >> And um, and you know, watch the stuff
together. So it was always like a social activity. You know, to me, horror was always there was always a social
component. Like I think of movies like City of the Living Dead, the Faulty film or Doom Asylum or Evil Dead 2. And those
movies are completely in my mind linked to how I saw them and who I saw them with. And I can remember who was sitting
where. Not because I have some great memory, but just because those were, you know, big events for me, you know, like
seeing those movies for the first time with, you know, Allan and Aaron and um Adam Richards and Matt Gibson and these
like, you know, that was huge. Um, in terms of writing and telling stories for me,
I'm I'm from South Carolina and and um I think most families, I mean, people say
it's southern families, but I don't know, maybe it's every family. Um, no. I take that back actually cuz my wife's
Canadian and I'll tell stories about my family and they will say, "Oh my goodness, your family's so crazy. You
know, we don't have any stories like this in our family." And I'm like, "The more, you know, I've been married for 30
something years." I'm like, "Yes, I don't say this." I'm like, "Yes, you do. You definitely have these stories. You
just don't tell them or you tell them." >> I heard some of them. >> Yeah. And my family, it's funny. My
parents got divorced when I was about 13 and I've got three older sisters and we
were very much um posing in the matching outfits kind of family and then when my
parents got divorced it was this idea of well we're not perfect anymore and there's no way to make it look like
we're perfect and and this was the 80s when early 80s this was 8 four or five when you knew people who were divorced
but everyone wasn't divorced quite yet now it's like everyone's >> so for us, for my sisters and I, we
never talked about it. But it was this sort of liberation which was >> we'll say anything now. Like there is
literally nothing you can no story you can't tell because the alternative is really horrible. We did that. That
wasn't so great. Um and even though it I think it really frustrated my mom, her I
think she was okay with it to some extent and her way of dealing with it was just to pretend those things hadn't
happened. Oh, I don't remember that. Um >> that's a mom's favorite. the classic mom
response. I don't remember it like that. >> Exactly. And so for me, when I started
writing, I realized that the way to make it not sound stiff and boring was to tell it like I was telling it to another
person, right? And like, and I know people say that, but I'd heard that writing advice in workshops and classes
and stuff. And it just I guess I hit a point where I digested it enough and was like I need
to be writing the way I would speak, you know, and when you talk and tell a story, unless you're an idiot, you
generally have a pretty good idea of what to leave out. Um, you know what I mean? Like, and so it was just that was
really the breakthrough for me is is realizing that. And then with my best friend's exorcism, the real breakthrough
was realizing that I needed to go back and actually remember what high school in 1988 was like rather than what John
Hughes told me high school in 1988 was like. And I wrote a whole draft of the book that was just, as according to my
wife, a hot garbage because it was just knockoffs. It was just a bad >> That's amazing.
>> That's not so Canadian. >> It was She's been in the States too. you know, we've lost her.
>> Picked up some stuff. >> Yeah. And um and so I was just magpying together tropes and things. And so to go
back and really remember what it was like and and things like and really sort of buckle down and do that work. And
then to also, you know, put put some blood on the page. Um, that was the first time I realized that the more I
put in stuff that I found embarrassing and difficult, the more readers responded to it. I mean, Abby has
horrible acne in that because I had horrible acne in high school. Like like really bad, borderline disfiguring acne
where you just sort of look in the mirror and just be like, I can't I can't do it. I can't leave the house like
this. I look like a monster. Um, you know, the three-way calling thing. Man, I got burned in a three-way calling
thing so bad by this girl I had a crush on. Like, >> yeah, it's so it's awful. Um, doesn't
exist anymore really, but like it was bad. >> Kids don't know nowadays they don't know
the trauma of a three-way calling attack. All they have is group chat. >> Yeah. Oh, and I'm sure that's just as
traumatic. You know, when you remember when you realize someone's in the group chat and you thought they weren't.
>> That'll change. Oh, no. Did you really? >> I was actually at a party and I texted
what I thought was my wife telling her how boring the party was and how pretentious I thought everyone was and I
didn't realize that the two hosts were on that group chat >> and then I like found them and I was
like just [ __ ] April fools being a big jokester. They're like, "You will not be invited
back." >> And they have that unscented. >> No, they laughed it off. They were pretty drunk at that point.
>> Oh, there you go. That fixes everything. There you go. >> Yeah, >> that's horrifying.
>> Yeah, that's it. I was It was bad. That haunted me for a lot. >> That really is the greatest part of
being married, though, is being able to [ __ ] talk to your spouse the second you
the second you leave somewhere or while you're there via text. >> It's one of my favorite things about
being married. Yeah. But here's my question is I'm always worried we can be heard. Like I'm paranoid that like we're
too close to the scene of the crime. Like we need to wait longer or someone from the party or the dinner's on the
subway with us or what if I accidentally butt dialed the person and even though we're all the way back at our house, my
phone is listening. >> No, I've done that before. >> Done that in a horrible way. I'm not
going to go into details because the person might be listening. But I've done that before and it was really, really
bad. >> So now I'm constantly in fear of a butt dial to the exact person that I'm
talking about. >> Yep. >> When it happens to you, it changes you. >> Yeah. >> I didn't even I didn't even know it was
a real thing. Like, and now that you've said that, I >> return to my cave of shame and will live
a cautious life. >> I love everyone and have nothing negative to say about any of them.
>> Everyone is just so beautiful, right? If you hear anything to the contrary, it's
a lie. It's fake. >> I used to I still am very I I when I was young, I saw this Captain They showed my
my um Cub Scouts this like Captain America, you know, how to save energy. You know, conservation is your friend
little film strip and it was like always close the refrigerator door and like, you know, don't leave the oven on. And
so I have I've was very OCD as a kid, but I've sometimes like gone back blocks to make sure the oven is off or the
stove is off or the refrigerator door is closed. And I was always like, "This is
so dumb. I just need to break myself in this habit." And one day my wife left the stove on.
>> See, >> and I had gotten up in the middle of the night and I was like, I'm just going to
check on the stove. I was like, >> "This is why I do that. I feel like we might all be dead right now.
>> Well, and that's the thing. My takeaway wasn't, "Oh, it was on for hours and it
wasn't a big deal." My takeaway was >> it was on for hours. My worst nightmare has come true. The walls have are
listening. You know, an earthquake is going to happen. Quick sand is real happening here.
>> Bigfoot is in the trees. I need to live in fear. >> Sometimes you do. I do the same thing
with locked doors, though. Oh, locking the doors at night. I'm a psychopath about it. And my husband loves to do
this thing where I'll be like, "Did you lock the back door?" And he's like, "I think so." And I'm like, "That's not an
answer." So then I just have to I'm like, "Of course." And it's always locked every time. But I'm like, "Don't
say I think so." >> Yeah. You can't say. >> Why do people feel like playing on your
nerves is funny. It's not funny. >> Some people really do. >> I want to be safe.
>> Yeah. I'm like, we've been married for 13 years. You should know now that that's not a good game to play,
especially with >> You're going to get up and go check. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. Well, going back to your writing,
and you just touched on it a little bit, having three sisters, >> between Abby and My Best Friend's
Exorcism to Lynette and Final Girl support group, I feel like every time I read a new one of your titles, I'm
always so impressed with how well you write women. How do you feel like you're able to create these vivid real women
characters? >> Well, okay. So, this is this is a thank you. I really appreciate that. No,
honestly, I do. Um, B, I think it's so weird that that's not normal. Do you know what I mean? Like that that's worth
comment because I'm like, isn't this the job as a writer? Like, you write people
who aren't you? And like, I get it. Like, I could not convincingly write something from a black perspective
because I just don't know that perspective of the world. I can make some guesses. I can definitely have
characters of color, but I would never want to write a book completely from a black or a Latino character's point of
view because I don't know how that kind of family I don't know the family. I don't have family dynamics. I you know
what I mean? I just would not be comfortable doing that. But >> with a woman like I grew up in the same
house with my sisters like you know what I mean? I'm like they're not living on another planet. They are another person
that's yes things are different but I can extrapolate those things. I can write a robot. Why can't I write, you
know, I can write a vampire? Why can't I write a And um so I always find that so
weird and I'm always like, well, geez, that sucks. >> So well done. I know. >> Well, I know. And thank you. But I mean,
that's literally the job. So it really is using I mean, this sounds so lame, but like using your imagination and also
like you know, I do have three older sisters. I mean, I was largely raised by my mom. I've been married for 30some
years. Um, so I really, you know, with my wife especially, like we got married when she was 19 and I was 20, so we've
really grown up together. If I don't know what almost every stage of her life is like, I haven't been paying
attention. Like, do you know what I mean? Like there like I'm sure there are things she keeps private, but you know,
it it's just a matter of like thinking it through. like, you know, I mean, to me, I'm kind of like, well, yeah, I love
parking far away from a venue if I'm going to see a show or something because I don't want to have to fight for a
parking space and I don't mind the walk, but I'm a knucklehead if I don't think it through and realize that for a woman,
walking alone across a dark parking lot, you know, at 1 in the morning is a very
different experience. Not saying it's not scary for me, but it I'm my fear is of werewolves. their fear is probably
something a lot more a lot more scientifically valid. Um, so there's that kind of stuff where I
guess that would be an easy trap to walk into, but but really it's just thinking
it through and not being a knucklehead, you know. >> There you go. See, men, we're not as
complicated as you think. >> It's true. >> Just don't want to make women I don't
want to make women seem simple, but it it it's I don't know. I just I I don't mean to to huff and puff on this one,
but yeah. Don't I I just try real hard. I mean, I'm writing a book. The book I'm
writing right now is interesting because it doesn't have a single female character in it. Wow.
>> And um yeah, it's weird. It just kind of happened accidentally. And I'm like,
wow, this is going really quickly. >> You don't have to ponder anything. You're just like boom.
>> Well, it it's also less about the pondering, I realized. Thank God because I was like maybe I've been like really
holding myself back all these years. But what I realized is um that uh the last book, Witchcraft, I mean it was set in
1970. It's a lot of research. It was also set in a home for unwed mothers. It was just a dark dark book. I really like
that book. I'm very proud of that book, but it was like >> But thank you. it and it was like it's a
book I'm so proud of and I'm so glad I wrote, but it's like now I'm writing a book like
>> which is much lighter and I'm like I think that's why it's going I'm just like I'm so relieved not to be writing a
book where everyone is not at their worst moment of their life every minute of the book.
>> There you go. It's like a little palette cleanser. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. Exactly.
>> Perfect. I love it. I felt like Witchcraft for Wayward were girls is like reading it felt like you were like
under one of those blankets that has like the hood. >> Oh, I have like that cozy feeling to it.
I don't know why. It was like cozy scary. >> I'm so excited to read that one. >> No, I'm really glad. I mean, that was a
book that I really consciously >> went long on. I just was like, I want this to be one of those books that you
feel like you can pull around yourself like a blanket. It's just sort of a big book you can get lost in for, you know,
someone's like, "Oh, I read it in three days." I'm like, "God damn it, >> I gota
>> Yeah. Like, I appreciate that. I take it as a compliment, but I'm always like,
"But it took me two years to write." >> Um, >> like, but yeah. No, it's a book I wanted
to feel big and sort of comforting and all-encompassing. >> That's exactly the word for it. It
literally feels like it's it's its own like atmosphere a little bit. Like you feel like you're in a room. Like it
created a room around me that's cozy. I just really liked it was a fun experience to read it for sure.
>> Appreciate it. >> I just finished actually yesterday just by coincidence. Uh Southern Book Club's
Guide to Slaying Vampires. So good. I love that book so much >> and I I some time to read it. I didn't I
didn't devour it all at once. >> No, I mean it's always a compliment someone says that. I'm like, "Oh, that's
the point, right? I don't want you excited to finish it. But yeah, it is like there is an a really dis I mean you
all know this. There's such a disproportionate ratio to the time it takes to write a book versus time it
takes to read a book. >> Um you know so it's like I wish I could get that a little more in battle.
>> I know it's true. >> Well, we have we have some like kind of interesting questions that'll be coming
up for you. We're going to go into a game of would you rather. >> But first, I have one question that kind
of ties into your Final Girl support group book. >> Oh, yeah. Yeah. >> So, if you had to be in one of your
Final Girls horror franchises, which one would you actually survive and how? >> Which one would I survive?
>> Yeah. Which one do you think you could get through? >> I mean, none. I I am very comfortable
knowing that I'm one of the first ones dead. Selfware like Yeah. Almost. I can't think of a single franchise I'd
survived. Like Texas Chainsaw Massacre. >> Oh. Oh. Dead on impact. No. >> Yeah. Dead on Friday the 13th. Done. Um,
you know, I'm trying to think. I mean, >> what do we have? We have Halloween. >> I feel good about Halloween cuz he walks
and I'm not Lori. That's what you said. I would just be like, Lori's over there.
>> Yeah. >> Yeah. I saw her go down. >> I just saw your sister. Yeah. Um >> but yeah, I mean I really I I mean
Nightmare on Elm Street, as soon as you go to sleep, you're screwed. Um >> I love I love sleeping.
>> So >> yeah, I Yeah. And so I mean I've really It's taken me a long time, but I've
accepted the fact that I am a early death and all I can hope for it's a really good one that people remember.
>> There you go. >> That's all you can hope for. I think what do you think survive?
Yeah. You want to be Johnny Depp in like um Nightmare on Elm Street or Heaven Bacon in like you know Friday. Like you
want to be a memorable one. >> You have to cover the Roman blood. Yeah, you do. >> Yeah. Yeah. Like you have to be Tatum
hanging out of the garage door. >> Oh, that's exactly who I would be. Tag yourself. I'm her.
>> I think I could surv I I don't know. I could potentially survive Halloween just
because again he walks. >> I'm pretty good at hiding. >> Yeah. And I'm not Lorie Strode. There
you go. So I feel like boom boom. >> But this is how Michael gets you. You underestimate him.
>> That is true. That's valid. He's also unkillable. >> I was going to say die. >> Yeah, that is that's a tough one to get.
>> But it is true. I mean, you do always feel like >> pick a point, run in a straight line,
just go. And when you get to that point, pick another point, straight line, just
go. How can you go wrong? And yet, you know, and >> he'll be there. >> Yeah. >> No matter what. That's very true.
>> I know. Jason Vorhees, too. >> Yeah. I don't think you could escape that one.
>> And he's real big. He's so big. I don't love that. >> The mask would I just I don't have um
fright or flight. I freeze. >> Freeze. I just freeze in the moment if I'm scared of something. She does
freeze. >> I literally just go She just gets paralyzed in the moment. >> Yeah. And there's also one of those
things where I used to when I was younger be like I wouldn't want to be impaled on a farm implement or like
those deaths looked painful and I was like I'd rather just kill myself. And now I've come around I'm like no where
there's life there's hope. But back in the day I was very much like I don't want to be hung on a hook, you know,
like >> I want that. >> Yeah. And now I just feel like accept your fate, you know,
>> and just make it cool. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> It's really all go down in infamy, I
guess. >> Yeah. >> All right. So, let's let's get into our would you rathers because they are
pretty ridiculous. So, >> we're starting off strong here. >> Oh, good. >> Would you rather have to co-author your
next book with a sentient cursed book titled Sexy Spells for Sassy Sorcerers or with an Eldrich horror who insists on
writing everything in comic sands? >> Oh, um definitely the latter. Um the comic sands.
>> Yeah, I've done I mean because at the end of the day your editor it's not gonna be published in comic sands, you
know. >> Truth >> and and you know I've done some co-authoring before and um I'm very good
at working with someone. I don't always enjoy it all the way, but I I'm very good at navigating that relationship.
And so I feel like in Eldrich Horror, it would need me like we're co-authoring. It couldn't just
>> it couldn't just banish me to another dimension of eternal torment right off the bat. Like it needs me. Um and so I
actually think we might come to know each other and appreciate each other. Appreciate our differences. Um I kind of
love that. >> You know what holidays do you celebrate? Oh, I didn't know today was a special
day for Eldrich horrors. Um tell me a little bit about your traditions. And I think it would be interesting if nothing
else working with a cursed book like it's just a book. It's like, you know, there books everywhere. Cursed or not. I
I want the Eldrich horror. >> All right. I respect it. I feel that. >> Yeah. Yeah. Actually, and like you said,
it's not going to be published in comic sands. I didn't even think of that. I know.
>> Yeah. And and I'm not that offended by Comic Sands. >> Oh, that's where we differ.
>> I mean, like I don't like it. I wouldn't use it. But like, you know, if you were
saying, "Oh, it only works in like zap dingbats or something." I'd be like, I mean, that's an annoying step. Yeah. You
have to highlight it and then like Ariel, but yeah, >> that'd be a whole thing. That's a good
call. And I like that you would have to like get to know the Eldridge horror. >> Yeah. Yeah. I think that's a nice part
of it. >> I mean, I think nothing else, it would be a fun story. >> Yeah. And you'd probably get another
story out of it. Yeah. You don't have to co-author. just from experience. So >> yeah, although then you get a really
hurt text that's like I told you those things in confidence. >> I never went on the record.
>> Yeah, I didn't want those in a book. I assumed this character just look is based on me.
>> I thought we were friends. >> Thanks. I thought we like I thought we actually liked each other.
>> I thought we really connected during that. I didn't realize it was just work for you.
>> I told you about my special holiday. >> Yeah. >> No, I love that. Now that I'm thinking
about it, my initial feeling was I was a little on the fence about both, but I think I would also go with the Eldrich
Horror. I just love the idea of the book being called Sexy Spells for Sassy Sorcerers.
>> Oh, yeah. >> That's fun to say. They because I'm I'm like, is that book? It's sentient, so
it's got >> something going on there. And I and I want to know what it's about. But
there's also an aspect where you feel like sometimes if someone like we all have friends like this, right,
who they only see things through a certain lens. Uh it's maybe it's a political lens. Maybe it's global
warming is there, you know? So this I feel like the sassy spell book would just keep returning to sex for
sorcerers. You know what I mean? Like it would just keep bringing the conversation back there and it's like
>> to one note. Yeah. >> Yeah. Like everything would feel like a bit. That's true.
>> That'd be tough. >> And an Eldridge horror has just a endless >> a new adventure every day.
>> Yeah. A wide range of interests. >> Absolutely. >> There you go. That was I respect that.
>> Yeah, I definitely respect that answer and I agree with it. I do, too. >> Yeah.
>> So, next next question. >> Oh, let's do this. Would you rather write with a haunted typewriter that
types back at you with sassy commentary or with a cursed laptop that tries to sabotage your drafts by inserting
romance subplots at random places? >> This is difficult. >> This is a hard one. >> And and I'll tell you, I mean, you I I
immediately recoil in horror at the typewriter with the sassiness. You know what I mean? Like Sassy is great in like
a 1930s screw ball comedy, but in real life, Sassy is just kind of >> irritating, you know?
>> Absolutely. >> Like how what kind of romance what kind of romantics is it like inserting? Is it
is it sort of like um doing slash to what we're writing? So it's like, you know, it's just suddenly the characters
are like embracing and going off and or is it like actually inserting a completely separate narrative between
>> That's actually a great idea. I when I initially thought of this, I thought that they were just kind of randomly
forcing your characters into like a romance subplot. Like that doesn't make sense.
>> No, no, no. That makes sense. That makes more sense. Which would I rather? You
know what? I'm going to go with the type >> sassy typewriter. >> No, I'm going with the laptop. I'm going
with the laptop. I know. I know. Yeah. There's >> there's something about a typewriter. Do
either of you all write on a typewriter? I do not. >> No, I don't either. And I try to get one
of those uh typewriter keyboards once that like, oh, maybe this will be interesting. Yeah. Do you ever use it?
>> No. >> Yeah. Exactly. >> Every once in a while when I go buy it, I'll touch the keys to make the sound
and that's as far as it goes. >> Exactly. Typewriters, I feel like, are that friend who's really into bourbon
and you just can't order a drink at the bar, you know, without them telling you all about it. Like there's something
about it. not typewriter's fault, but whenever someone's like, "Oh, I only use the same typewriter and I had to
warehouse, you know, parts when it got discontinued in 1978." I'm always like, "Grow up.
>> Go to the Apple store." >> Yeah. What's wrong with a pen? >> It's true. Yeah. I think I I I kind of
want the sassy commentary more than the romance subplots for me. >> Me, too. cuz I' I'd have trouble I feel
like then you have to write them out of it every time. >> That'd be tough >> because in my head it's like is it stuck
in the story now? Like I can't just erase it. I have to get them out of that. >> Yeah.
>> And back into line here. >> That'd be tough. >> And I feel like that's a lot more work.
>> It's like double editing. >> Yeah. >> Lots of work. >> And I don't want that.
>> No. >> Well, all of this is adding a lot more work to the process. >> Yeah. Either way, you're not wrong. The
sassy commentary is definitely adding because it's going to make me second guess everything I write.
>> Yeah, >> I feel it's a final decision. >> I'm gonna go with the typewriter only
because I don't want to have to write people out of a romance subplot. >> All right. I respect it and it is
cursed. It says a cursed laptop, so I don't know how far that curse goes. >> All right.
>> I don't want to enter into anything. >> Yeah, that is the full scope of >> I think I'm going sassy commentary on
this one. I think I could have fun. it back like let's go. >> I'm a Gemini. I'm all about winning
banter. So that's true. You know, >> but don't you worry that like there's a fine line between sassy commentary and
personally hurtful. >> It could be personally hurtful, but I can I can go scorched earth really quick
back at that sassy typewriter. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. You dumb typewriter. >> Listen to this.
>> Go change your ribbons. >> Yeah, exactly. You're like, I'll do it. All right, so the next one. Would you rather
write your next novel in Grace Kavanaaugh's home from Southern Book Club's Guide to Slaying Vampires
>> or This is crazy. In the creepy attic of a fan who calls you daddy horror. >> Wow. Grace's house. No question.
>> No question. >> Yeah. I feel there's a there's a and you all know this as well as anyone. There is not
just a line, but I would say a canyon between making the donuts and eating the donuts.
>> And I don't want anyone who enjoys eating the donuts to see the donuts being made.
>> That's true. >> So, I'd rather be a >> nice way to say that. >> And Grace's house is actually to some
small extent uh in my mind based on a house that I actually rather film rather pleasant. So, really I'm all in for
Grace. Yeah. >> All right. >> I like that. I think I'd go grace, too, because I agree with your donut analogy
and I like that a lot. >> Yeah, I fully agree. It Yeah, >> it's very misery to me and that doesn't
end well. So, that's a no. >> Yeah, I'm going with grace. >> All right, that one was easy. Let's see
if this one is as easy. >> Would you rather only be able to speak in ' 80s slang for the rest of your life
or have to perform an exorcism with nothing but a mixtape and some strawberry lip smackers?
>> Oh, 80s slang. Easy. Yeah. >> Yeah. >> I don't know if I want to perform an exorcism.
>> I think I do if it entails a mixtape and strawberry lip smackers. >> I was going to say
>> I mean that sounds like a fun exorcism as far as they go. >> It does, you know.
>> And what's on the mixtape? >> Oo, >> that's the fun part. >> I know. Did we make the mixtape or was
it given to us? >> In my mind, I made the mixtape. >> Like a powerful mixtape >> for the exorcism in mind. Okay.
>> Yeah, for sure. Yeah, I would go I would go exorcism in that scenario then. Mhm.
>> I think I'm going exorcism. All right, we can do a tub. I'm going slang. You're
going slang slang. You can just be in the corner saying things >> like totally tubular, y'all.
>> Exactly. >> Totally tubularism. It'll only help. >> And I feel like 80s slang sort of made a
comeback a little bit, you know, like >> Yeah, everything does. >> As soon as you just said gnarly, I was
like, wait a second, I use that on like a regular basis. >> I say gnarly very regularly.
Gnarly like rad. No one says you have to sound like Spicoli and pass on to Bridgemont High. You just got to use
some. >> That's true. Just a dab here and there. >> All right, that might kind of be fun.
>> No, but the exorcism, I really appreciate you guys looking for a challenge. >> Yeah. I mean, I've never done an
exorcism before, so I feel like presented the opportunity. >> This is a pretty good one.
>> Why wouldn't you, >> you know? >> Yeah. You have to accept the challenges in life.
>> You do. All right. So, we're we're exercising and you're talking like a John Hughes movie.
>> I'm into it. >> So, moving on from exorcisms, would you rather spend one week living in Shirley
Jackson's Hill House or one weekend on a girls trip with the witches from Sesperia?
>> Oh, like like Helena Marcos and all that. >> Oh, um definitely definitely Girls Trap.
>> 100%. Yeah, I I I am 100%. I mean, cuz it's it's the creepy cook who doesn't really
talk a whole lot. The little kid dressed up as Little Lord Fontroy. There's um what's her name who runs the dance
academy who's great. And there's Helena Marcos just being a boss, you know, like,
>> you know, >> I'm all I'm all in on the girls trip. That would be a blast. >> When you present it that way, it sounds
like fun. >> Yeah, it kind of does. >> I kind of like >> I'm not on the girls trip to be
tormented. I'm there to have a good time. >> What do you think the first stop is on
that girls trip? >> Well, I So, I would think I would think that what we'd be doing is it'd be a
little less of a a road trip and more of sort of a destination, you know? So, I'm
thinking like a resort maybe, you know, in like somewhere allincclusive in Mexico or something and like you could
take day trips to explore stuff and or maybe just chill by the pool and there's like three or four pools to choose from.
Beach club, get a cabana. >> I like that. >> I think I'm choosing this. I think you've just talked me into my decision.
>> Like, well, [ __ ] And like and like everyone will here's the one thing I think it would be really important that
it's a resort where everyone has separate villas. You know what I mean? Like like no connecting rooms because
I've heard Helena Marco snore and it's really loud. Like really >> like it's really terrifying
>> desperate. Yeah. >> I want to get away from that. And who doesn't want their own villa anyway?
>> Yeah. Exactly. Or she could bring her apnea mask in which case maybe >> that changes things. Maybe you could
run. >> Yeah. But I also think you know like you know she comes into the pool everyone's
going to leave. >> That's true. >> I mean she's invisible but they'll see her outline in it.
>> Oh yeah that's freaky. Yeah. >> Yeah. And we'd have to have one big rule. Actually no this isn't a big rule
because this would be fine. It's like if you want to I was going to say one big rule. No maggot storms. But then if you
want to clear the beach maggot storm. >> Quick maggot storm. >> Yeah. Yeah. >> So gross.
>> Oh, I like that. >> But the seagulls will come and eat them all. >> Okay. >> Give it 20 minutes of each.
>> It'll take a second. >> All right. >> And then you come out and it's nice and
picked clean. >> But no one's going Where are y'all coming in on this? >> Let me think.
>> So you you made the girls trip sound really fun. >> You really did. >> I was initially a little scared of that
one. >> I was too. You were like a travel. >> Now that I'm thinking I'm like it is a
weekend girls trip and it's a week >> in Hill House. >> A week is a long time. Yeah. What is the
guy's name? Jacob Crane or something in Hill House. >> Yeah. We don't want to >> Yeah. He's like a child abuser and like
his spirit sort of permeates every Could you really have a good time >> and for a whole week? I think that would
give you alone. That that vibe would be >> Yeah. >> Rancid. Yeah. Reserve us a spot in the
girls. We're coming on the girls trip. >> Come on. Yeah. >> Nice weekend. We'll take a villa
together. Yeah. Great. I like that. >> Yeah. It actually I do three ways on the villa with you guys and like split it
split the charges but then everyone else can have other villas. Yeah, I'm in. >> I like that. Although I do snore, but I
use breathe right strips. So >> we're going to do it for you guys. Yeah, we'll put it on we'll put it on the
Google calendar. >> Perfect. All right, we're going on the girls trip with Sesperia.
>> I'm in. >> So, uh, next. Would you rather have to sell your childhood home, which is very
haunted and also full of murder puppets, >> or live in it for a year while the puppets get to know you?
>> Well, >> whatever you think that entails, >> I'm going to I'm going to push I'm going
to I'm going to call the premise of the question into question because you have if it's your childhood home, you have
been living in it with the murder puppets for years. >> So maybe the murder puppets are a new
addition to the >> Oh, they just moved in. Oh. Um I I actually wouldn't mind the murder
puppets. Like >> really? >> Yeah. I'm I mean on the one hand it would be really fun to sell a home with
an infestation to someone and think about that and get away with it. But on the other hand, like
I think it would be I think it might be pleasant to share a home with a bunch of
murder puppets. Like >> it would be interesting. >> Yeah. Yeah. I mean, it would just kind
of be like, what do they get up to when they're not murdering? Like, because there's only me and if they murder me,
they got no more murder. So, they're going to have to be luring people into it. So, I feel like there'd be a lot of
a lot of coming and going, which isn't always my favorite thing. I like Quiet House.
>> I like But >> I mean, think there is something really adorable about a murder puppy. They're
puppet. They're tiny. They're cute. >> Tiny little weapons. >> Tiny little weapons. And And think of
their gumption. I mean, this is how I feel about Chihuahua. Like, they're so brave. Like, everything is so much
bigger than them. >> Yeah. Could just like drop kick them far, but they still like go out there.
They still put themselves out there. And I feel like movie night. I mean, so to me, heaven would be movie night. You got
your like blanket on the couch and you're just snuggled up with a bunch of murder puppets.
>> Wow. >> I mean, that sounds really fun. >> I love that. They do want to get to know
you. >> Yeah. I don't We would be chatting. They'd be telling about their lies. Be
telling them about mine. They They'd pretend to be interested. >> Yeah, of course they would.
>> Yeah. >> I like that. >> How would you sleep there, though? >> Yeah. I mean, sleep hygiene is tough,
right? I think I think I would do more of a power nap situation. >> Uh >> like really hitting those 20-minute
power naps. Yeah. Um, but also they're not murdering me in my sleep. You know what I mean? Like, like
>> that's not fun. >> Yeah. >> But there's always the chance they could. >> There's a chance they could, but jokes's
on them at that point. Like, they've killed me in my sleep, so I'm none the wiser. And now they don't have anyone
else to murder or and no one else paying the bills, so that house is going to go
on the market. You know, who that they might and someone just might get it for a tear down.
>> Yeah. And they're screwed. And they just become puppets at that point because
they're not murder puppets anymore. >> Yeah. >> And that's >> and I was about to say a workaround
might be cutting off my arms and legs and keeping me in a box or something, but >> I would still have to be earning money
to keep the house. So, it's in their best interest to keep me mostly intact. >> But maybe they'll make you just like,
you know, >> transcribing transcribing transcribing. I was like, what is the word I'm trying
to think of? So, you don't need your arms or legs to write, right? Because you can just say, they'll make you say
the story out loud. >> I see what you're saying. Yeah. >> And they'll just transcribe it for you.
>> I gotta say, though, I >> I'm going to take the murder puppets. I'm going to take the murder puppets.
Yeah. No, I mean, and you know, out of all of them, this is the one I'm the least certain about because it could go
a lot of directions, but I'm going to stick with the murder puppets. >> I respect that. It is intriguing. And I
feel like at night when you want to go to sleep, if you just did like a really quick look around of your room, like
have a barren room, you know, like don't have a lot of places where they can scoot under,
>> you could keep them out. They're little. They're not going to be able to like
bang a door down or anything. So, you could get some sleep, but they can hide easily.
>> I feel like as a dude, I'm going to double down on my decision, even if it's very poor
>> and cling to my position. >> Like, I'm doing it. Is that what you're choosing too, Elena?
>> Yeah. I kind of want to see what the murder puppets are all about. I love Puppet Master. That's hilarious.
>> Oh, yeah. >> So, >> and that's the problem with that franchise is the more familiar you get
with those puppets, the more kind of adorable they are. >> They are. That's the thing. And that's
all I'm picturing in my head right now are those puppets. And I'm like, "Let's go, girls. Let's hang out."
>> I think I'll sell the house to a contestant on that show. >> You There you go. Or you could sell it
to us. Or there you go. I'll sell the house to you guys. You already want it. We'll buy it. Perfect.
>> As someone who's currently living in an apartment with termites, so it's basically sold to me with murder
puppets, except the less cute version. >> Little ones. >> My opinion of you will be very low if
you sell me a house and I discover the walls are crammed with murder puppets. >> But you'll learn to love them. It's
true. >> Because they'll get to know you. Yeah, exactly. >> I will be resentful.
I won't actually. All right, next question. Would you rather have every writing session interrupted by whispers
from a ghost quoting bad Goodreads reviews or have every writing session interrupted by a witch hat, a sentient
witch hat who keeps tapping on your keyboard and adding the word sleigh to every sentence?
>> Witch hat. Um, >> yeah. >> Yeah. I don't read reviews online. I don't. >> Me neither. Neither do we.
>> I never have and I never will. And um it's sick. Yeah. So I'd rather witch hat. And who doesn't want to have sleigh
in many sentences. >> Yeah. I'll take it. You don't have to keep it there. You just go delete it if
you need. >> Also, this witch hat already sounds adorable. It's like a little hermit
crab. A little oult hermit crab. >> Yes. I was excited about it. I like the witch hat. I like that one a lot cuz one
a ghost would be cool, but a whispering ghost I'm not for at all. >> And criticizing it. But then whispering
reviews that I'm actively avoiding would be it for me. Yeah, I'd go nuts. >> Yeah.
>> Yeah. All right, that one was easy. >> Yeah, that was an easy one. Next one. Would you rather write your next novel
while a Victorian ghost dramatically faints every time you use a semicolon, or would you rather write it while being
interrupted periodically by the sound of groaning Victorian child ghosts? >> Oh, the first one. I almost never use
semicolons and so I feel like five or six fanny fits for an entire book max. >> Yeah, it's not so bad. It's pretty good.
>> Yeah. And child ghosts. >> I grew up at a time when like your parents were like, "It's summer. Go
outside." And you weren't allowed back in the house all day except for lunch. And like if you tried to see me like
it's really hot. My mom used to put like she'd be like, "Go drink from the hose."
And so and so that may have colored my attitude, but that is my attitude towards child ghost. I'm always like,
"Go outside. Find something." >> Yeah. >> Only boring ghosts are bored. Yeah. Go
play. >> Only boring ghosts are bored. >> And they're just groaning. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. Like what you got to groan about?
Like you got your whole life ahead of you. Got your whole afterlife ahead of you.
>> Yeah. You don't even pay taxes yet. >> That's really beautiful. You don't even
are dead. >> Yeah. >> Exactly. >> What do you need to worry about? Yeah, you have no words.
>> You want to hear You want me to give you something to groan about? Let me think
about these termites. >> The classic '8s parenting response. >> Exactly. >> I love the idea of a ghost like a
Victorian ghost just dramatically fainting when I do a semicolon. Like I would probably put semicolons in my
draft just like where is it? >> I think actually that's how every writing session would end is semicolon,
door flies open, ghost swoons in and hits the floor. >> Yeah. cuz then you're like, "Wow, that
chapter really s cuz you're like the end. Let's go. Send it in." I like that. Perfect. All right, so we're moving on
to a little horror store action here. >> Okay. Would you rather be trapped overnight in a haunted or where all the
furniture rearranges itself and whispers in Swedish or get a job there where your
manager is a demon wearing khakis and demanding team building exercises >> overnight?
>> Yeah% Yeah, that's just one time thing, you know, that would just be interesting.
>> You'd be interesting. I've worked retail before and I'm bad at it. Like I don't
have the stomach. Like people who work retail, hats are off to them because they are able to
>> do something that I find impossible. It's like algebra. I don't understand it. I can't do it.
>> It's a torturous job. >> Yeah, >> it really is. >> Yeah. Yeah. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. I think
>> like I worked in a bookstore and I've sold stuff from a stand and I >> I wasn't good at either of it.
>> No, it's tough. Selling is hard and people are the meanest to retail people. That's why I'm never mean to retail like
anybody working in retail because I'm like your job is so hard. >> Yeah. Retail workers or service workers.
>> Yeah. >> When I was a server back in the day, I cried more than I think I've ever cried
in my whole life. >> Oh. Where were you a server? What kind of place? >> Just a little Irish pub.
>> Okay. >> Yeah. >> But they had it was a bar basically. >> Yeah, pretty much. >> Yeah. Um Yeah, that's bartending is the
worst. >> Yeah, it was tough. I couldn't. People say things to you there that you're
like, you would never say that in real life. Why are you saying that to me in this Irish bar?
>> Well, some so someone because my wife is a chef, so she's owned a few restaurants
uh and so serve. Yeah, I always my heart goes out, but I ran into this chick at a
uh film festival and her she like started she was back of house at a restaurant, you know, working the
kitchen and she had moved to front of house and she was working the hostess stand. I was like, "Oh my god, do you?"
So I was like, "Let's talk." So we're chatting and she was like, "Well, you know, the big thing with this job is I
really do think UFOs are real and that extraterrestrials live amongst us." She's like, "Because I
think what they do is they tell each other, oh, if you're a little insecure about, you know, your human disguise, go
to a restaurant. like you can just like that's where you'll really work on it and get it right and if you do weird
stuff they don't even notice >> and she's like because I would say at least a third if not half of our
customers >> they don't seem very good at being human >> and they're exper she's like and
sometimes I think the requests are like messing with me like just experimenting how far can I push you and I said that
to my wife and it's now gone around her restaurant like why because everyone's like oh yeah well that's clearly that's
that's >> yeah that would make you feel so much better when people are like rude to you
or doing weird stuff on shift. You'd be like, "You're just trying it on." Yeah. I wish I knew that back then.
>> Damn, that could have saved me. >> People are Yeah, restaurants and especially bars bring out the worst in
human beings. >> Yeah, they do. >> 100%. >> I was lucky to not to do a whole lot of
retail in my job Yeah. >> journey, but my favorite job was working at a um video store by far.
>> Oh, yeah. Cool. Cuz that's like retail but like not like everybody was pretty
happy at a video store I feel like. >> What video was it? Like what kind? >> It was a Hollywood video.
>> Oh, a Hollywood video where and like where >> it was like it was literally like just
south of Boston, like a little suburb. >> And it was and I loved that job so much.
>> That's a cool job. >> I miss video stores so much. I wish they were a thing. I didn't get to experience
them very much. >> It's so funny. I just did a a shoot like an interview thing and they were like,
"Oh, let's do it in a video store cuz I was introducing some movies for something and I had hadn't been in one
in a really really long time." And I was just walking around like like I'd been,
you know, like I was in the like, you know, the secret library of Congress or something. I was just like walking
around like because I realized that having grown up on video stores, that's how my brain that's like that's the
optimal way for me to look at movies. It's not this. It's not a streaming interface. It is like here is a wire
shelf and on it are all the movies directed by this person or on it are all the documentaries and and then you can
pick it up and read the back and look at the I was like this is how my brain was
wired to like >> Yes. >> interface like browse movies. >> Yes. cuz I get so overwhelmed with
streaming services. Like there's too much selection. Like I need it >> narrowed into like everything that can
fit in this one room in this store >> and like the new releases are on the outside
>> the perimeter for something new >> and you don't know if that there's an actual VHS tape behind the cover of it
sometimes because they would always have the covers and you had to be like I hope
there's one in there. >> Oh, that's fun. Yeah, because I mean, how many click click
>> like just shuffling? I've had I know I've had to do this thing where I I use letter boxed and so I've got everything
on there and I just hit shuffle and whatever comes up first is what I watch. Even if I'm not in the mood, I'm like,
"All right, that's what I'm watching." >> Honestly, this was fate. Yeah, that's the best way to do it because my husband
and I will get to the point where we're like 45 minutes through like just going through things on a streaming service
and we're like, "Forget it." Yeah. like just scream. >> Yeah, just let's go. >> Oh, I miss.
>> Well, and the worst is if you've had a few drinks cuz I'm a notorious like I've
had a few drinks and I'll get 10 minutes into a movie and be like I'm not in the
mood. What else is there? >> And then like four hours later I'm much drunker and I've watched 10 minutes of
like 40 movies >> and you're just stringing them all together. >> It becomes one giant movie that makes no
sense. Oh, well, speaking of, you know, a time we all wish was back. Would you rather
>> speaking of your drinking problems? >> Speaking of your drinking problem, I'm
like, it's so weird. It goes right into my next question. Would you rather be trapped inside a forgotten 1980s horror
paperback with like some pulpy title like Satan's Babysitter >> or forced to write the sequel to The
Haunted Janitor in one night while being stalked by a mop? >> Forced to write on a janitor sequel.
>> I'd rather do something active than passive. >> Yeah. I don't want to be stuck in
something. Yeah. And especially not Satan's babysitter. And being stopped by a mop sounds like an interesting
experience. It does. >> Yeah. >> You tell a lot of stories about that later. >> Yeah.
>> Yeah. No, totally. Like, is it also a haunted mop bucket on wheels? Like like
there's a lot like Yeah. No, I And also the I really admire sort of that sort of
old school pulp writing where people just churned it out. I'm like, let me see if I can do that, you know?
>> Hell yeah. And that's your >> I'm not worried about this being good. How fast could I go?
>> Yeah. Be a good test. I mean, it's the sequel to The Haunted Janitor. That's the other thing that's even better.
You've already got something to work with, and that's that's always great. >> Yeah. And I like And I Sometimes I like
like a crazy deadline where I'm like under crazy pressure. >> Sometimes it works.
>> Yeah. >> And I want if I'm doing this, I want my cursed laptop that puts in romance
subplots because there's half the book written for me. >> Boom. >> Oh, wow. There you go. Marrying the two
together. Oh no, now I'm sad that I picked the typewriter who's just giving me sassy commentary because that's going
to bog me down. >> No, but then then as long as the sassy commentary is in uncalized italics, you
could just be like it's metapiction. It's commenting on myself. It's like I'm a Paul Trim Blade.
>> I like that. I like that a lot. That's amazing. >> So I think we're all picking the Haunted
Janitor sequel for sure in one night. >> I love it. >> Yeah. Well, thank you so much for
entertaining that. That was so much fun to play. That was awesome. >> Oh, yeah. No, I thought I was like,
where's more? Let's go. >> We do have some B questions. >> We have some B squad questions that we
had. >> Oh, give me a B. Give me Give me Let's do two B Squad questions. >> Oh, awesome. Let's go. All right, which
ones are we picking? All right, let's see. Oh, this is fun. Would you rather have to share a haunted office with a
poltergeist who throws books when they're bored or one who insists on hosting dramatic table readings every
night at 3:00 a.m.? dramatic table readings. I am really fussy about my books. Like I don't like dinged corners
and stuff. So yeah, table reading. >> And that' just be fun at 3:00 a.m. >> Yeah,
>> that'd be a crazy table read. It really would. >> Wow. >> And I'm the same way with my books. Like
Ash can tell like >> I'm not allowed to borrow Elena's books. I can't cuz I hate when people fold a
page or anything. It freaks me out. >> I know. I'm sorry. >> Also like you know I I really want the I
want to know the dynamic of this table read. You know the I have to read the stage directions again.
>> I would love that. >> Why can't I play a part this time? >> I really like that actually.
>> That'd be a lot of fun. I'm definitely for that cuz you're not throwing my books. I just
>> All three of us can be at the table reading. >> Yeah, that would be Bring me one more
here. These are great. >> All right, one more. Would you rather be haunted by a ghost who won't stop
changing the endings of your books or one who constantly whispers plot hole plot hole while you write
that? Okay. One, I'm very picky about my endings and they're very hard for me. I'm not good at it. So, no, that first
one's out. Second off, um that's the inside of my head anyways. Yeah. Like >> it's just like echoing this draft right
now. And yeah, I've got a running thing down the side of everything I'm writing.
Like go back and fix. This is stupid. This doesn't make sense. Fix this in all caps because I feel like making it all
caps. >> I'll definitely like not ignore it. >> There you go. I was thinking the same
thing as soon as I was reading it. I was like, "Well, I don't need the ghost." Cuz my own head is being like, "That's a
plot hole. That's a major plot hole." >> He'll just keep you accountable. >> He will. But I'd be pissed. I'd be so
pissed at that. I'd be like, I got it. I know. >> So, are you going ending? >> I think I'm trying to I think I would go
with ending because maybe he'll have a good idea every once in a while. >> All right.
>> And I'll be like cuz I'm also not great with endings. I get very overwhelmed by
an ending. >> Yeah. >> Which is why I just like keep going through a series. >> You're like, "No, it's not over." Haha.
>> I'm like, "Oh, there's more." >> But so maybe he could actually end a book for me and that would be sick. I'd
give him credit. All right. Yeah. >> Yeah. Actually, that shows a lot of confidence.
>> Yeah. >> And and a lack of ego, you know, like you're getting past your own ego and
sort of being open to all I think that's really admirable. >> Thank you. He's kind of like, too, you
know? >> Yeah. He might have some good ideas. Like, who am I? >> I don't know him. I don't know his life.
That's the thing. >> Yeah. I haven't written a book, so I don't know about this one.
I guess I would go plot hole to keep myself accountable. Nice. You know. >> Yeah,
>> that's good. It's good that you you're like I'd probably be taking shortcuts >> cuz I have to finish The Haunted Janitor
2 by Sunrise. >> Yes, exactly. >> Yeah. >> Thanks. Thanks to this ghost. Although, I got to say, if we combined
all of these into one, it's like, you know, there's a copy of The Haunted Janitor 2 with a romance subplot running
through it, the word sleigh every now and then, a semicolon at the end of every chapter. Yep.
>> And absolutely no plot holes whatsoever. >> Yeah, I would buy that book. I think we
just created a banger to be honest. >> We did. >> We're on that list. TM. >> There we go. TM. No one take it.
>> It's a great one. Well, thank you so much for entertaining all that. What do you have to plug? Anything?
>> I just had a book come out, a non-fiction thing called These Fists Break Bricks, which is a history of how
kung fu movies came to America, which even if it doesn't seem like your thing, it's sort of paperback from hell, but
for like kung fu movies instead of paperback horror. And that's out now everywhere in a improved edition than
the previous one. as in this one's in print and the previous one wasn't. Um, and
>> it's improved. >> Uh, I'm getting ready for season two of the podcast I do, Super Scary Haunted
Homeschool. Last season took me four years, uh, for 13 episodes, I think, about vampires. Uh, this we're trying to
be more professional. I work with the writers and well, not writers, but I work with editors and musicians and all
this and actors. And I think we're going to have the first episodes out by the end of this year. It's all about haunted
houses. And I think it'll be done by the end of next year, but it's starting this
year. So, >> that's exciting. I'm excited. >> And then hopefully this first draft of
this new book will be done by September. And that means hopefully I can convince
my editors that it might be able to come out by the end of next year, which would be really
nice. >> Good luck convincing that. Good luck. >> Yeah, I know, right? They're like, let's
move it to this fall of 2027. I'm like, why did I give up my whole summer? >> Freaking know.
>> That all sounds amazing. And guys, um, always, always, always if Grady is in a
town near you, check out his book events. They are so good. I don't know if we can say it enough. Truly recommend
it. >> And whisper in my ear, plot hole. Plot. >> Yes. While he's signing your book, do
that. >> Yes. >> So guys, thank you so much for listening. We hope you keep listening.
And we hope you keep it weird. >> You nailed it. >> Killed it. You killed it. Thank you so much.
>> I got one thing right today. >> This was so much fun. No, this was a fun episode. It really was.
>> Bye you guys. >> Thank y'all. [Music] [Music] [Music]

Ash and Alaina are joined by one of their favorite authors, Grady Hendrix! The moment we covered MY BEST FRIEND'S EXORCISM on Episode 598, we KNEW we needed to chat with him on the mic! We talk cursed keyboards, horrific group chats, and if we have what it takes to be a final girl!

Looking to purchase his latest nonfiction work? Buy THESE FISTS BREAK BRICKS now by visiting https://www.hachettebookgroup.com/titles/grady-hendrix/these-fists-break-bricks-revised-and-expanded-edition/9780762489480/

Want to listen to his podcast SUPER SCARY HAUNTED HOME SCHOOL? listen here! https://www.buzzsprout.com/1080659

Visit www.GradyHendrix.com for upcoming events as well as one of the funniest "about pages" we have ever seen!

Stay in the know - wondery.fm/morbid-wondery. Connect with Wondery http://wondery.com/shows http://facebook.com/WonderyMedia http://twitter.com/WonderyMedia http://instagram.com/WonderyMedia

Brief Summary

Grady Hendrix discusses writing, research, and his latest projects with the Morbid hosts.

Key points

Grady Hendris Joins Morbid. Best-selling author Grady Hendris discusses his writing journey and unique book events.
The Art of Research. Grady shares his approach to research for writing and events, emphasizing the fun in discovery.
Writing Women Authentically. Grady explains his ability to create vivid female characters, drawing from personal experiences.
Navigating Nightmares. A humorous discussion about which horror franchises they could survive in.
Writing with the Eldritch Horror. Choosing between a cursed book and an Eldritch horror for co-authoring.
The Sassy Typewriter Dilemma. Debating whether to write with a sassy typewriter or a cursed laptop.

Episode highlights

Episode quotes

I think people think they invented sex.

Grady humorously comments on modern perceptions of history.

4:09WatchAug 11, 2025

Tension

30/ 100Low tension

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