Listener Tales 109: 80s Edition | Forensic Files

Hey weirdos, [clears throat] I'm Ash and I'm with the band. >> And her name is Elena [laughter]
and this is Morbid. >> It is. >> 1980s edition. >> 1980s edition. Yeah, yeah. >> Uh what was life like in the 80s?
>> Um I The oldest I was was five in the 80s. So I think my life was probably pretty sick.
>> Yeah. >> I don't think I was with the band at that time, but >> Probably not. Well, you don't know. You
might have been a cool like rocker [laughter] five-year-old. >> We were both born at the end of a
decade. >> Um I was born in the middle of a decade. >> Okay. >> [laughter] >> Whatever.
If you round up, it was almost over. >> You're 1985. >> [laughter] >> I was thinking of myself mostly as 1996
and I was like the end of a decade. >> I want to I wanted to take this journey with you, but
>> You were born towards the end of a decade. >> Uh in the middle. Because you're
December. >> Right smack dab in the middle. >> You're December, so it's basically
>> The end of the year. >> Yeah. [laughter] What? I don't want to talk about it anymore. I'm I'm over it.
>> What were you saying about Nicholas? >> I was like I was like >> [laughter] >> all right Alaska.
All right Alaska. >> Oh, [laughter] that was great. >> That was great. >> What were you saying about Nicholas?
>> Oh, I was saying I bet Nicholas is going to feel fancy free. >> Yeah. >> Because I have this like I have this
feeling in my in my bones that Nicholas is like a like an 1880s kind of guy. >> So where you know
>> 1880s or 1980s. >> Yeah. >> In the future, he just said. Why did that work so perfectly?
>> I wasn't I wasn't ready for such a swift response. >> [laughter] >> He's real.
Nicholas. >> Nicholas is real. >> Okay, Nicholas is real, you guys. >> [laughter]
>> If you lived in the '80s, like the '19 ones to be specific, the 1980s, how did
you live like this? My hair is destroyed. I tease so much of it that I >> a good one, though.
>> Thank you. It's actually kind of falling cuz I got hot. That's my question. When
you guys got hot in the '80s, like did your tease just fall? >> No, because you would use an entire
bottle of Aqua Net. >> Uh yeah, see, I didn't have Aqua Net, but I did use a [ __ ] ton of hairspray.
>> We heard you, yeah. >> Yeah. But yeah, I used a [ __ ] ton of hairspray. >> Yeah, you a whole bottle would probably
be used. >> Oh my god. >> you could literally like shoot an arrow at somebody's hair and it wouldn't
penetrate. >> Wow. That's crazy. [laughter] >> And radio was big in the 1980s. >> Oh, and then video killed the radio
star. >> Exactly. See, Nicholas, he gets it. >> He's into it. >> He's on theme today.
>> See, I don't think I would have done that great in the '80s cuz I don't feel very pretty right now.
>> I think you look gorgeous. >> I think you would I think you [laughter] I think you would have slayed the house
down boots in the '80s. >> Thank you. >> Like I This is like a little >> [laughter]
>> Remember when I dressed as Miranda Priestly and I was like, oh, like I think I was the like this I think this
might be who you are. >> if I was like old enough to to to exist >> Yeah. >> like be like a teenager
>> Yeah. >> you would have been unstoppable. >> Thank you. >> Unstoppable. >> [ __ ] wrong decade, I guess.
>> I know. >> a little earlier. >> You're still pretty unstoppable. You're just dressed a little different.
>> Just [laughter] a little. >> Just a bit. >> Just a little. >> Just a smidge, to be honest.
>> Just a smidge. >> You could wear those pieces separately and it would make sense, too.
>> to be quite honest. >> The pants are like butter. >> Yeah, they look nice. >> comfortable.
>> You could wear those to a ghost concert. >> Funny story, too, John was opening the
mail and he opened all the separate pieces of this and he just sent me a picture of it while we were upstairs
[laughter] working. And he said, "What's this about?" And I was like, "Oh." Like
and I said what it was. And I was like, And he was like, "To be honest, I wasn't
sure if you were just buying buying a lot of clothes." Like he was like I He was like the only thing that threw me
off was the Bodley Crew t-shirt. That'll do it. That was the only thing that he was like, "What's that about?" I was so
sad. I had like a really '80s um like corset thing, but it was it was going to be This would have been marked not safe
for work. My titties were up to my [laughter] I was like I could not go on the the
internet like that. Good for you though, man. Yeah. Good for you for having boobs
up to your chin. I mean, it's not comfortable. [laughter] So right now they're sitting nice in the
middle. Let's get to the tales, y'all. >> [laughter] >> Let's get to the tales. You know why?
Cuz this is brought to you by you, for you, from you, and all about you. Did they What did they say in the '80s?
What were like the I was like, "Let's get to the tales." But wait, I have more questions.
>> Cool. >> Rad. >> Rad. >> Yeah. >> Rad. >> Dude. >> Dude. >> What did they What did THEY SAY?
>> WOW. >> [laughter] >> MIKEY WAS ALSO like six, I think. What did they say? >> I was five, so I said, "Can I please
have a juice?" >> [laughter] >> Same. What did your people say? What did your people say?
Did they say tubular? >> Probably, maybe. >> Righteous. >> Righteous. >> All right. I just wanted to know.
>> Have we met? >> See, Nicholas is like, "This sounds familiar." >> He's like, "Wait."
>> You guys look familiar. >> righteous? >> Totally righteous, guys. >> I don't think Nicholas. I feel like he
wouldn't have been with the righteous. >> I don't >> I feel like he wouldn't have been with
the righteous. >> I don't think so, either. >> He would have been with the anti.
Oh. He was like, "Cuz I'm going to run." [laughter] Yeah. All right. >> We'll learn more about Nicholas as we
go. >> As we go, it's a learning exercise. Do you want to go first? >> Uh sure. >> I feel like you do.
>> Yeah. >> Always. I do. Let's start with listener tales. A ghost slept with my grandma.
>> That's a good place to start. >> take this jacket off soon because I am sweating.
>> I would take this jacket off, but again, we'd be marked unsafe for work. Hello spooky ladies, my name is Brian.
Feel free to use it and any other names ahead. >> Hi Brian. >> And I'd love to share the story of the
haunted house I lived in as a toddler. But of course, I have to start off by joining [snorts] the chorus of praise
for the podcast. Thank you. I've been a listener for a few years and looking forward to the next episode of A
Two Girls One Podcast is still just as exciting as the early days. >> Aw. >> You both managed to say so stay so
genuine to yourselves despite how giant the Mighty Morbid Empire has grown and I
wish you all the success in the world. >> nice. >> It's like really nice Brian. >> I know.
>> It's really nice. >> Thank you Brian. [laughter] >> Alaina, you're becoming an author partly
inspired me to tiptoe into the field of creative writing. >> Hell yeah. >> Run. >> Follow you he said.
He said Brian is following you. >> okay, yeah Brian, let's go. Like let's go running into the field of creative
writing. Brian, it's wonderful in there. >> Wow. >> I encourage you. Finally, writing down this listener tale
I've been sitting on feels like a great way to start. Hell yeah. And I'll absolutely need a change of clothes if
you ever end up reading this on the pod. We'll give you a second to get a change
of clothes. >> Ready, go. Righteous clothes. >> feeling comfortable and very cool.
>> And righteous. >> And very run. That said, enough with the flattery and on to the tale. So a little
background to start. I grew up in a medium-size shore town in New Jersey. >> I thought he said I grew up in a
medium-size shoe town. >> Shoe town? >> I was like everyone had You're in front of us.
>> High five. Cool. Okay. >> [snorts] >> Anybody feel cold? >> No. >> I don't know. I don't think so.
Did you say yeah? Picture your basic suburbia with strip malls, cookie-cutter houses, constant
traffic, but a 15-minute bike ride to the ocean. No. Most of the details in the story
take place while my dad was growing up in the '80s. It was the '80s, man. That's all I think of.
What do you say? >> Bring it. >> Wow, I think you look tough today. >> And I said no, what did he say?
>> That's what I I think he's like, "Fuck you." He's like, "Bring it." >> You have your shoes.
>> with friends, though. >> Your shoes are weapons, so >> exactly. >> Uh I always think of that though, the
bully episode when he said, "It was the '80s, man." >> This was the '80s, man. >> Growing up in the '80s, when the town
was a lot smaller and the community a bit closer. The haunted house in question was in fact my dad's child.
>> Plausible. >> The haunted house in question was in fact my dad's childhood home. My
grandparents raised their family in that house. They had three sons and a daughter, plus
care of their nieces and nephew for a total of eight in the small house. >> That's a lot of [ __ ] kids.
>> I only have very vague memories of that place, like the pinball machine in the
basement, and our dog at the time, Misty. I'm not attached. But otherwise, I was too young to remember any of the
freaky things that happened there. This story was told to me by my grandma, who I'll call Nan, probably when I was
still a little too young to hear it, and I'm doing my best to recount it here. Also very relevant to the story, Nan
considers herself to be a witch. Nan. >> Hell yeah. >> Uh that's her term, not mine. I would
find clairvoyant or perceptive to be more accurate. For example, she knew the moment her sister had died in an
accident long before being notified. >> Oh, [ __ ] >> And she always knows if she's being lied
to. >> Same. >> Damn. I even tested her once, and she correctly guessed a coin flip enough
times in a row [clears throat] to convince me that she really could sense it. >> Damn.
>> her a reliable source, and she had her first experience in the house the day they moved in.
>> Oh. >> They didn't even let you rest. After getting the keys to their new house and
doing a walk-through of the recently finished basement, my grandma got an intense chill and saw an apparition of
an older man with gray hair, a checkered or plaid shirt and jeans. >> Hate that.
>> Right when you get the keys and are doing the walk-through and >> It's like, "Hey."
>> So, you're doing the walk-through and you're like, "This looks good." Then you're like, "Does he come with it?" Or
you're like, "Can he go?" >> Are you guys taking him? >> He wasn't in the PMS. >> Yeah, like do we do we have to pay extra
for him? Are we going to We're solid. Can we sign something that says he stays? >> Oh, you want him to stay?
>> Yeah, let's Let him stay. >> Okay. >> his business. >> I mean, he was probably there first.
>> Exactly. Uh, she didn't describe it as a menacing presence, so that's >> Okay. All right.
>> Um, but she ran upstairs to get my grandpa for help. >> Yeah, fair. >> Naturally, after going back down, the
apparition was gone, but there was a persistent and oldest. Hm. >> [gasps] >> He was there first, I said. And he was
like, "He's the oldest." >> oldest. He's the oldest boy. >> But there was a persistent and strong
smell of dry dog food coming from one of the rooms. >> Ew. >> [laughter] >> That's yucky.
>> This was writing uh This was writing up to be a leftover or [snorts] odor from
the previous owners, which would dissipate in time. >> Oh my god, if the previous owners of my
home left it smelling like dry dog food, >> be rough. >> I would call someone. >> would call the authorities. Uh, the rest
[laughter] of the move-in went fine, with about half of the basement becoming bedrooms for the kids and the other half
as a rec room {slash} concert space for the family band. >> Awesome. >> Okay. >> Rock on.
>> Hell yeah. Uh, still though, my grandma felt uncomfortable being down there alone. I don't blame her.
>> Yeah. >> Now, the presence in the house affected each member of the house in different
ways. Some certainly more severely than others. My aunt, for example, would complain about hearing a metal on metal
banging noise in the middle of the night. I hate that. She also cried fire one night after seeing smoke drifting
into, not out of, the vent in her ceiling. >> [clears throat] >> There was an accident. I need you to
know that I thought he meant she cried fire. >> [laughter] >> And I was like, "What the fuck?"
And he just said she had one time fire. It was crazy. What? handling it different.
>> [laughter] >> That's that's really different. Yeah, that's a lot. My dad remembers one
night they had a party with all their friends downstairs listening to the band play during a snowstorm. The band TM.
You know, the band. After a few too many drinks, my dad ended up getting sick in
the upstairs bathroom and was gone for a while. He rallied like a true '80s teenager. Hell yeah.
>> [clears throat] >> And when he got out, he heard their unrecorded original songs coming from
the basement. But when he opened the door to rejoin the party, the lights were off and it was empty. The party had
ended abruptly as the storm was getting worse and everyone went home while he was upstairs. What the hell? There was
no explanation for the music he heard. And it's all it's unrecorded, too? Yeah. [ __ ]
Everyone would hear footsteps, doors would slam, the dog food smell never did go away.
Yeah. But nothing truly felt scary yet. That was until [laughter] my uncle woke up unable to breathe one night. That's
scary. Was there a graveyard on the property? Ooh, maybe. If there's a graveyard in
this tale, I will run. I'll fall on the ground like you did. I'm not getting up.
One thing about me is I'm not getting up this time. You thing about me is I'm not getting up.
[laughter] But he remembers feeling held down and strangled, struggling to break free and
being right. I am frightened, Nicholas. >> He wants to fight you. >> Why do you want to fight me, Nicholas?
>> He said he said I'm in front of you. Stand up and fight me. >> He did. >> I said, "Are you afraid?"
>> No. >> He Why is he Why are you upset today, Nicholas? I don't like your attitude
right now. >> Oh, she's feisty in that bandana. >> Yeah. Yeah, I am. Uh >> [laughter]
>> So, let's see. Struggled So, he was being strangled. He felt like he was being strangled.
>> Woah. >> Struggling to break free and being unable to cry for help. Whatever it was
that hold the um that held to over the blah blah blah blah. Whatever it was that held over him
released when the family came in after hearing the commotion. After the escalation and feeling
genuinely unsafe in the home, Nan sought the help of a medium. According to her,
this was the fourth most powerful medium in the country. >> Wow. >> In In parentheses, are mediums ranked? I
always question [laughter] this detail. >> Who knows? >> I didn't know that, either.
>> It's kind of like how it's like, "Oh, it's the second most haunted house in the state."
>> You're correct. >> He said. >> You say you're correct or incorrect? >> I think he said you're correct.
>> I'll take you're correct. I like that. >> Um but they agreed to come inspect the
house. This medium could sense the presence of a spirit, a previous owner of the home still lingering. They also
found out that there was a [ __ ] vortex in the basement of the house. >> Not a vortex.
>> As in my old house was a subway platform for all things spooky to come and go.
And what advice did Mr. Super Medium give? Not much you can do. Burn some sage and hope for the best. At least
they're generally harmless. >> Are they generally harmless in a vortex? >> I You can't be sure.
>> Yeah, anybody can fall through. That's like the Escape Room mansion. There's a
vortex in the basement. >> Yeah, cuz somebody broke the rules. >> Yeah. >> Where are you?
>> Where are you? >> You can hear it. >> You can hear it. I did just hear something. I don't know if you saw me
look over there. Yeah, and nobody else heard it. Yeah, it sounded like those um the
safety pins. It sounded like they shook a little. >> Oh. >> Yeah. >> Fun. >> So, that's interesting.
>> Okay. So, there's that. >> Um, but I like that he said, "Where are you?" >> that cuz we say that in this room a lot.
>> We do. >> Nan was satisfied enough with the vortex situation as the smudging did stop the
more violent behavior, but the resident spirit was more concerning to her. While
going through the attic, she came across a box of paperwork left behind. It belonged to the original owner of the
home and was mostly old tax docu- tax documents and such, but to her shock, there was also an old photograph. In
black and white, it showed a man with gray hair, flannel shirt, and jeans. Pictured [snorts] alongside a
faithful-looking golden retriever. >> Oh. [gasps] >> As I'm sure you've guessed, the man in
the photo was the apparition Nan saw the day she moved into the house. Newly armed with the original owner's name,
I'm going to call him Old Joe. >> I love it. >> I think that's the perfect name for him
and I appreciate that. >> Yeah. >> In a picture of her ghost, she was able to reach out to one of Old Joe's
surviving relatives. >> After meeting this relative, Nan learned that Old Joe was a blacksmith in town
and lived there with his beloved dog until the day he died in the house. >> Wait, what if the the person that got
strangled, your uncle, what if that was just a dog laying on him? Cuz I know [laughter] you feel strangled in the
night when your dog's >> I do. >> like lay on you. >> Sometimes I do. Um, but yeah, sometimes
dogs do strangle you in your sleep. Not intentionally, they love you. >> No, they're just big.
>> Um, yeah. >> They're just big. Golden retriever, that's a big dog. >> So, maybe he was just laying on your
uncle. >> Yeah. He was just laying on him. Snuggle. >> Not wanting to look crazy, Nan chose not
to mention that her grandpa, Old Joe, was kick- still kicking around, but instead thanked her for her story and
left her the documents and photograph. Knowing the story behind her spectral cohabitants and that
>> possible. >> and that he was really just looking out for the family in the house. The smells,
metal hitting metal sounds, he was a blacksmith after all. They're all just residual hauntings from
Old Joe's time in the house. That was until Old Joe made a move on Nan. >> He said, "Nan, you owe me."
>> Now we're familiar. [laughter] Somewhat absent from this story so far has been my grandpa, Gramps.
>> Aw. >> Gramps worked two jobs to support the family, leaving the house at 2:30 a.m.
to go spackle houses before clocking in for his shift at the railroad at 11:00 a.m.
>> god. >> Getting home around 8:00 at night. He's a hard worker. Usually, Nan told me he would sleep like
a rock, but often times he would roll over in bed and she would end up getting crushed and pushing him back over. Not
at all something I wanted to picture, Nan. >> [laughter] >> One morning, she said she was woken up
by this familiar feeling, but was alarmed by the but it was alarmed by the time. It was about 3:00 a.m. Witching
hour aside, this meant Gramps had overslept and was late for work. Instantly alert, she turned over to wake
him up and rush him through his morning routine, but found that she was in bed alone.
>> Oh my god. >> Old Joe snuck into bed with Nan was starting to get all up close and
personal and she was not having it. >> Oh. >> It's Mr. Steal Yo Girl. [laughter]
Old Joe. Old Joe out here. >> [gasps] >> Old Joe's Mr. Steal Girl. That was the straw that broke the camel's back. Nan
could tolerate cabinet slamming shut, she could tolerate unexplained noises, she could tolerate her nephew getting
choked out in his sleep, but [laughter] she would not abide by a non-corporeal cuddle buddy.
>> That's fair. >> That morning, Nan contacted her pastor to come exorcise the house. A bit to her
dismay, she learned that Baptists don't do exorcisms. But to put her mind at ease, he would be
happy to come over and pray in each room and bless the house. >> always work. >> Reportedly, this seemed to do the trick
and all paranormal activity um stopped for the remaining years they lived in the house.
Yeah. I will not yell. She wants to go crazy [laughter] today. She's like go nuts.
This is very 80s. This is very 80s. Just yell. Let it all out. >> Oh my god, do you also love Tears for
Fears? >> love Tears for Fears? >> Do you also think they have banger after banger after banger?
>> Banger after banger. >> So I'd be telling everybody this. >> I agree. >> Nicholas has heard me. I love Tears for
Fears. [laughter] So this concludes my two year stint there. I was brought home from a
hospital in that from the hospital in that house, and we moved out when I was very young. It was the day that we moved
out of the house that it showed its face again. After the final sweep of moving day, the doors inside could be heard
slamming as we said our goodbyes and left. >> Oh, they were upset you were going.
>> Yeah, or they were like good riddance. One of the two. >> One of them. Could only be two.
>> As I mentioned, Nan told me this story when I was in middle school, and while
it had me >> Continue. >> Thank you. >> Did he say continue? >> continue. >> Okay.
>> And while it had me freaked out a bit at first, I'm no stranger to a ghost story.
Having no first hand experiences with it myself, I never really believed it. That
wasn't till I got to high school, and my English teacher happened to be a childhood friend of my dad's. Small town
perks. >> Oh, that's cute. >> First week of school I'm going to tell you, don't worry.
First week of school, she told me how many great memories she had. Youth group with your dad and uncle, summers in your
grandparents pool, and the ghost that lived in the house. >> Confirmation. >> It wasn't until years after being told
the story that I had it corroborated with someone outside my immediate family, unprompted. It felt like the
whole town knew about the ghost in my grand in in my old house. And with consistent accounts from everyone I've
asked, I'm convinced that my childhood home was haunted by a pervy old blacksmith named Old Joe.
>> I'm convinced, too. >> So that's the story. >> [clears throat] >> I come and go.
>> I come and go. >> [laughter] >> What did he say? >> Afterlife. >> Yeah, yeah, from the afterlife. He comes
and You are into >> Karma Chameleon. >> You're a Karma Chameleon. He's on point today.
>> No, he literally is. >> Say [laughter] I might come and go. >> Come on. >> Come on.
>> Only Boy George says that. >> I love Boy George. >> Who doesn't? >> I know. >> Uh,
>> [snorts] [laughter] >> so that's the story. If you read this far, then I don't feel bad for not
apologizing for the length earlier. >> Never apologize. >> you ladies wouldn't have edited it
anyway. >> No. >> I do apologize for any ramblings or grammatical errors though. Please keep
it keeping it real alongside that with a healthy dose of weirdness. Forever Spooky Brian.
>> Brian, that was a great story. I love your pervy old blacksmith. >> I'm obsessed.
>> [laughter] >> I love Mr. Stelio girl. >> I appreciate it. >> Nicholas Nicholas is expressing that
too. >> Nicholas liked it. >> I'm taking this jacket off before I die. Okay. >> Your shirt is also very cute. It's like
you're revealing another level of 80s. And they may not have seen your belt. >> It's true. Mighty like peg Bundy-esque.
>> I'm trying to figure out like where I could wear that. Why does he always say that? I think he
needs to see a specialist. >> I don't know, [laughter] Nicholas. >> That's not something I
>> Jizz might not be for the afterlife. I don't know. >> okay. >> He needs to figure it out.
>> It's all you, dog. >> Okay, tale number two. Richard Ramirez doubled down on visiting my parents'
window. >> Oh. >> That's Chorus? >> Dolores. >> I love that name. >> It's I thought it was almost like
Dolores. >> Dolores, that's my dog. >> Dolores. >> All right. >> Okay. >> It was the 80s.
>> This was the 80s, man. >> Parents were living in LA. Unrelated, but coincidentally quite
quite close to the LaBianca house. >> Ooh. >> My dad was a mild-mannered professional
by day, by night played drums in a rock band multiple times a week. >> Hell yeah.
>> Rock on, dad. >> The coolest families in these 80s tales are just like rocking out. Everybody was
cooler. >> [gasps] >> My mom would often go to gigs with him, but on this night she was hanging at
home and decided to head bed head to bed before he was back. The weather was warm, and she decided to get some breeze
flowing into their second-story apartment window through their bedroom window. >> Don't do that.
>> Which was one of the old old school ones that slid up and didn't have a screen.
>> Oh. >> There were windows without screens back then? >> He said, "Who needs a screen?"
>> What the [ __ ] >> The '80s, man. >> [laughter] >> In first hearing this story, I asked her
why she felt compelled to do that, and she just shrugged and said, "It was the '80s."
>> The '80s, man. >> My dad was still out, and she was drifting off to sleep. As she was, she
heard a mild commotion in the tree right outside their window. I don't ever want
to hear a tree commotion. >> Not even a mild one? >> No, not [laughter] not none of the above.
>> Yeah. >> Figuring it was an owl or a cat or some other nocturnal critter, she didn't pay
it much attention at first. But then it started getting loud, way too loud to be
an animal. In another what the [ __ ] were you thinking move, she got out of bed
and peered over the window sill. There, she saw a mop of black hair making its way through the branches. And
if the person it belonged to took one more step or two up, they'd be face to face.
>> No. >> I would get a pan and whack him all. >> Yeah. >> Truly, I'd grab like a weight.
>> Whack him all. >> drop. >> Get out of my tree. >> [snorts] >> In wild but fortunate timing, my dad was
just getting home, and the hall light and him asking what in the world his wife was doing sent the new mysterious
creep shimmeying right up into the tree away into the night. Unsettling as hell,
but probably an isolated event, right? >> Yeah. >> No. >> No? >> Within the next week or two, he or week
or so, he came back. Both of my parents were home this time and clearly didn't heed their previous experience.
>> Guys. >> Because yep, >> that window was open again. I will note that this was during the time Richard
Ramirez was just starting out his horrendous mayhem and sparking only potential serial killer buzz. So I guess
between that and the '80s of it all, I'll give them a teeny bit of a pass. I love that it's like he [snorts] wasn't
like sparking intense serial killer vibes, just like >> There was like rumors. >> Just like serial killer. If there's even
a whisper of serial killer vibes I'm getting a full like like purge style. Like press a button and I'm in
like a metal box. >> 100%. I actually would like to access to that anyways. >> I would love that.
>> Whenever I've seen that movie, I'm like, how do I get that? >> How do I get that?
>> I know. >> So, we're giving them a pass. Well, you are. >> You are, I'm not. >> We're not.
>> [laughter] >> Leaves rustled, branches crunched, that same dude was absolutely in the tree and
they were catching glimpses of his face along with that familiar hair. >> All that gross face.
>> My dad, who even I know, honestly, even back in his heyday was not exactly a terror-inducing individual, brandished
[laughter] >> That's good. >> brandished a vacuum. A vacuum. [laughter] Honestly, that might be good because
it's so shocking. >> Yeah, it's >> [laughter] >> shock value. >> And like >> Oh, you wouldn't think that.
>> So, you're just like, this guy's crazy. >> It might stop you in your tracks. That's fair.
>> And then you wrote, yes, really, and held it like a bat, whacking it out the window and yelling, "Hey, get out of
here." Good for him. Better than nothing, I guess, but you think the man would be more strapped than that.
>> [laughter and gasps] >> You'd think the man would be more strapped than a Hoover.
He defends it was the closest thing with some move to it, K dad. So again, the element of surprise dashed and the man
took off. This time my parents called the police. They arrived, took statements, and they did a sweep of the
neighborhood. Nothing resulted from that, but the tree saw no more nighttime visitors. Fast forward to the day
Richard Ramirez was arrested and of course his image was everywhere on TV. My parents looked at each other
peas >> peas >> peas >> peas >> [laughter] >> I thought you were saying like the
vegetable. >> I was. >> Oh, you were? But then you did this. So, he did it, so I was like, oh, that.
>> [laughter] >> I thought you meant peas. >> I like penis. I was going to say eight
carrots. >> [laughter] >> So my parents looked at each other wide-eyed and said almost in unison,
"That was him." Now my parents are long since divorced and didn't agree about much for years,
but when I recently regaled my dad with memories of this tale from my mom, he was finishing sentences and noted it was
something he'd never forgot. >> Damn. >> Uh my beloved mom unfortunately died last
year. >> I'm sorry. >> Gone way too soon, but I know she would have gotten a kick out of having this
story shared on the podcast. She was a true crime and dark history gal through and through and we would spend many an
hour chatting about different stories and trading podcast and documentary recommendations. Miss you the most, Mom.
I'm including a picture of me and her for you ladies to see along with a few of my dog who technically has nothing to
do with this story, but >> Why? >> but everything to do with everything and isn't she an angel face? Thanks for
reading and keep it weird, Erica. >> Oh my god. >> a beautiful photo and that dress First
of all, your dress is gorgeous and your mom's dress is so pretty. >> Your mom in that pixie cut is a slay,
[ __ ] And your hair on your wedding day, >> Yeah. >> Oh, I love that picture of you guys.
>> your dog does have everything to do with everything. He does. >> He's a little tug.
>> He has everything to do with everything. This episode is actually brought to you
by her dog. >> Yes. >> I love that dog. >> Absolutely. Oh, that was a crazy [laughter]
[ __ ] story though. >> No, I hate that he was coming to your and what kills me is that he saw the
husband. >> Yeah. >> Got freaked out by the husband showing up, but then came back knowing he would
be there and he did that several times. >> That's the thing. That's what he was not
scared by. >> [snorts] >> Is it because you're scared cuz we're talking about Richard Ramirez?
>> Sorry. >> No, but that's the thing about him. So like sorry, we do have to continue
talking about it. It's like kind of what we're [laughter] paid to do. He That's why he was so scary cuz there
was just like nothing off the wall. Yeah. >> Yeah. >> I remember people said his breath
smelled like wet leather? Ew. He loved candy. >> Stanky chops. >> Ew. >> He loved candy.
>> He said didn't he eat like a lot of candy all the time? >> He loved candy. Ew.
>> [laughter] >> The worst thing about him. That man loved a lollipop. >> Just picture Richard Ramirez eating like
cabbage CABBAGE PATCH KIDS. >> [laughter] >> HONESTLY, THAT'S THE scariest thing YOU WOULD EVER [laughter]
I JUST PICTURED THAT. JUST GNAWING ON CABBAGE [laughter] PATCH KIDS. He would. He had like sharp teeth.
>> [laughter] >> Ew. I mean it. Why [laughter] did I SAY THAT? YOU JUST CREATED THE MOST unsettling
visual in my mind. >> [laughter] >> Oh, no. >> Somebody make that picture. >> Oh, no. I meant sour patch kids.
>> [laughter] >> [ __ ] >> I was wondering. I was like was he saying cabbage I don't think he was eating cabbage.
That was part of his problem. [clears throat] >> [laughter] >> He needed some cabbage.
Oh, man. >> Oh my god. All right. So, this next one is the story of a house in which a
friend shouted, "Get out. He's in your bedroom." And a tater tot loving ghost meet up for one hell of an 80s mashup.
One of these things is not like the other. What a [ __ ] [laughter] title. >> He's in your bedroom and a tater tot
loving ghost. >> Yeah. That's going to be me when I'm a ghost. >> I was literally just going to say I
think >> so heavy with a tater tot. Hell yeah. >> Have you ever had a >> a sweet potato tater tot?
>> Oh, yeah. >> That [ __ ] slaps. >> It really does. >> All right. Let's get tater tots for
lunch. Period. >> Period. >> [laughter] >> First. But first. First, I will gush, as have many before
me, that you two are absolute unicorns. >> Thank you. >> Thank you. >> You got a You got a unicorn.
>> Oh. >> Is that >> Thank you. >> Thank you. >> I don't know, it just came to me.
>> I like that. >> Thank you. >> I really appreciate the compassion and care you put into each story. I feel
that the victims are treated with respect and dignity and that your research is tight. And hell yeah, Dave.
>> Dave. >> [laughter] >> Thank you for being you, Alaina. If I wasn't old as [ __ ] I would swear that
you are my long-lost sister because we think a lot alike. Anyhoo, keep doing what you awesome humans do. I have been
listening for about 3 months and I'm already on episode 219. I'm obsessed. If you choose to read my story, I've
changed the names and I'm providing a pseudonym for myself. What happened in the '80s stays in the '80s. What's the
thing that Debbie said the other day, a pen de plume? >> Oh, yeah. >> I love that.
>> de plume. >> Nom de plume. >> I knew it wasn't pen. >> I like nom de plume. >> Nom de plume.
>> The [clears throat] scene is 1982. I'm in college and >> Yeah. >> The beginning of the decade.
>> See, she knows where things lie in a decade. >> The '80s. >> Numbers. >> [laughter]
>> The scene is 1982. I'm in college and want nothing more than to not have to live at home in my small-ass
watch-the-paint-dry town during the summer. >> [clears throat] >> Some friends were renting a house for
the summer on the outskirts of our college town, somewhere in central Illinois, and I was all in. We
envisioned a summer of fun and mayhem. By living on the outskirts of town, we could be as loud as we wanted and not
bother townie neighbors. We, of course, did not think about the fact that if no one could hear us, we might be excellent
targets for humans who are up to no good. More on that later. >> [snorts] >> So, imagine 1982. Neither of you were
born yet. I'm old as [ __ ] >> You're not that much older than Alaina. >> Yeah. The hairspray alone in the
bathroom of that house could kill you if the hair itself didn't poke an eye out,
see? Uh, Aquanet, [laughter] how I miss you so. I was more of a punk myself. Hell
yeah, you were. But we had a whole spike we had the whole spike thing going on. So, you
know, still lethal weapon type stuff. >> Oh, you know, those are like Liberty spikes.
>> Oh, yeah. >> Those are so cool. >> Those are cool. One night we threw a particularly
hilarious and chaotic party that involved many of the things that the '80s are known for. I kid you not that
at that party someone took a mirror off our living room wall and made it snow. It really was a great time to grow up
before we knew how bad many of these things were for us and to have very little safety instructions other than to
not eat candy that wasn't wrapped on Halloween. >> Or Cabbage Patch Kids. >> No, don't eat those. [laughter]
Don't do that. >> [clears throat] >> Oh, no. Oh, no. The oldest is USING THE COMPUTER.
>> [laughter] >> I GOT TO MAKE it stop. Oh, [laughter] no. Hold on. Hold on. The youngest is
struggling, too. >> I was born in the middle of a decade, okay? >> The youngest [laughter] isn't so young
anymore. The youngest is approaching a 30. Hello. >> [laughter] >> Hello. Oh, look at that. I can see that.
>> Yeah, I can actually see that now. >> Yeah. Uh, let's >> it's like at the eye doctor when they
>> [laughter] >> I was I was actually so relieved whenever it flips. I'm like, "That's it. That's the stuff."
>> It's like last night, "Oh, that's good." >> That's good. >> [laughter] >> Oh, that's good.
>> Oh, that's good. Uh, by 3:00 or 4:00 a.m. we all crashed in our various rooms and the party goers
had gone home. Since I had not listened to your podcast yet because you were not
born and I'm old as [ __ ] >> [laughter] >> You're not that old. >> I did not know that open windows are for
dead people. It was a hot midsummer night in the Midwest >> It's the Midwest. >> The Midwest.
>> The Midwest. Where [laughter] even the mosquitoes were too scorched to do more
than look at us. So, yeah, all our windows were wide open. We had screens to keep out the bugs. So, we reasoned
that that was good enough. >> Oh, they have screens. >> Yeah, they have screens. I should give
you the layout of the house. There were three of us legally living there. The house was an old farmhouse with two
stories. All the bedrooms were upstairs. Two people shared one room at the left of the stairs. One person had the room
to the right, and I had the room in the middle. Back to that night. I'm awakened by my roommate, Kayla,
yelling at me, "Get out! Get out! He's in your bedroom!" >> You better get out. >> I
>> Get out! >> Right now! >> [laughter] >> Like, if I hear that, I'm just going into straight-up cardiac arrest.
>> Yeah, where did he go, too? >> He's in your bedroom. Who? >> Get your vacuum.
>> I sleepily jerk awake and look around. It's pitch dark because country, and I
can't see a thing. My heart is pounding in my throat, and I feel like I'm going to faint. I'm desperately thinking that
I might run into whoever is trying to get me if I just barrel on out of there. Then my amygdala sucker punches my front
lobes and says, "Run, [ __ ] run!" I should mention that my amygdala is aided by my friend still shrieking at
the bottom of the stairs, "Run, dumbass! He has a knife, and I saw him go in there!"
>> god! What? Why is your What is your friend doing? >> [ __ ] >> anybody doing?
>> I sprint down the stairs faster than Usain Bolt, who also wasn't born yet. I am an old [ __ ] [laughter]
>> Goodness, you need to be nicer to yourself. I love you a lot. >> I join my roomies on the front lawn, who
are discussing having heard and seen not one, but two men in our house. >> No. >> Another roommate, Maggie, says that she
was awakened by the sound of someone climbing through the window at the bottom of the stairs.
I hate this a lot. She then heard them walking around the house, opening drawers and such. She thought she had
heard them throwing something out of the window. >> Was it tater tots? >> I'm I'm waiting for the tater tots to
arrive cuz >> It's not >> It's scary. Maggie thought she should act all like she was like she was asleep
>> Like she acted all asleep. >> [laughter] >> They were just robbing us and would soon
leave. Things changed for her because honestly, as they say if they come during the day they're here for their
stuff. If they're here for the at the night that really [ __ ] up. If they're here during the day they're here for
your stuff. If they're here at night they're here for you. They say that? That's what my old
criminal justice professor used to tell me. And I hug on to it because think about
[laughter] it. Why are they in your house in the middle of the night trying to steal your stuff? You're there.
>> I don't like it. >> Middle of the day they're coming to get your [ __ ] >> I have an alarm system.
>> Middle of the night pew. Uh >> [laughter] >> you hear those dogs? >> Yeah. >> You hear those dogs?
>> Delores will chop your head off, so. >> Things changed for her when she heard
them clomping towards the stairs. We were lucky to have a phone extension upstairs, so she quietly called the
police. She then waited until the humans the humans went into my room, ran across
the hall and got the other two roomies, and they hightailed it downstairs with Kyla calling up as aforementioned.
>> What the [ __ ] >> waited until they went into your room. >> Hey, you got to Are you still friends
with them? >> a plan. [laughter] >> Like what the [ __ ] >> for you. The police showed up and went through
the house. The screen in the window at the bottom of the stairs had either been cut or pushed in, and the back door was
open. The police figured that the humans ran down the stairs after I boogied and left
through the back door while we were waiting for the police in the front yard. >> Many things had been moved and a few
drawers were open, but nothing was missing. The because they were there for you.
>> Yeah. >> The police tried to calm us down, but we didn't really have an answer for us.
They didn't really have an answer for us when we asked if they weren't here to burgle us, then what did they want? They
didn't want to kill you. The answer to that question was sitting like a stone in the bottom of my
stomach. What would have happened if my roomie had not been awakened? We wouldn't be reading this.
We remained terrified for a long time after these guys afterwards that these guys might come back to finish whatever
fiendish and evil deeds they had planned for us that evening. I don't but don't think I could have stayed in that house.
>> I know, I don't think so either. I don't blame you for staying there because obviously you don't always have options.
>> I would just drive around until morning early. I think I would become nocturnal.
Uh we did not sleep well and started closing the windows downstairs at least. Our upstairs windows also for dead
people discuss. >> [laughter] >> Yes. I literally said this to my roommate the other day. I was like
people have ladders. >> And we just read a story about Richard Ramirez climbing up a tree to get to a
second story window. >> want you they're going to get you. Yeah. >> The next weekend everyone but me was
going out of town. I was freaked. I invited all of my friends, especially my guy friends, to come stay at the house
that weekend. Until my friends arrived I sat staring at the window and the door to the basement expecting them to open
at any time with a knife-wielding maniac jumping out at me. I knew the basement did not figure into this story but
basement basements are creepy as [ __ ] so out of principle I stared at that son of
a [ __ ] also. Honestly, valid. >> Mhm. >> Um my friends finally arrived and we got
through the weekend. One problem with this situation is that one of my friends was so weird and probably on an acid
trip that I was most likely more in danger from him than whatever else was out there. Needless to say I made it
through the weekend. Fast forward to about 2 weeks later. We were having a hectic morning jostling
around each other as we each got ready for respective works and classes. Ma- Maggie comes into the kitchen where
the rest of us are. Maggie is all pissed off. Maggie ran a little grumpy anyway so she would just shrugged and continued
what we were doing. She says, "Who did it?" And we said, "What?" And she says, "Who ate my [ __ ] tater tots?"
>> Ooh, that's a crime. >> Now for more recent times I would have said Napoleon Dynamite did it and she
would have thrown something at me. In 1982 I starving? >> charming >> charming >> charming
>> He likes Napoleon Dynamite. >> think he's just like charming. That's how I took it like
>> I In 1982 I said, "Maggie, no one ate your your tater tots." Everyone shrugged and went life went on,
although tot-less for Maggie, which she continued to gripe about. >> That's fair.
>> A few days later, Maggie was at it again. She said, "Where's my lasagna?" Again, she's met with blank looks from
all of us. We're not above eating each other's food, but not this time. I began wondering if we had a ghost or a
poltergeist. I have been a weird weirdo spooky [ __ ] my entire life, so it was a
logical explanation for me. >> It was logical to me. >> Me, too. >> Once again, I was afraid of my own
house. A few days after the lasagna incident, some people came over who we sort of
know. >> [gasps] >> It made me think of [ __ ] I don't even know my own kid. >> [laughter]
>> I'm afraid of my own house. >> I also like that the lasagna incident. >> [laughter]
>> They said they had been at a party where these two guys were talking about getting really drunk a few weeks back
back, blay- blacking out, then wa- waking up to find a bag of tater tots and a pan of lasagna sitting on their
kitchen table. They said they had no idea where these items had come from. >> Wait, so they came to your house to take
your tater tots and your lasagna? >> Our friends asked them if they had been at a party at our address. They said no,
but that they used to live at our house. >> Oh my god. >> asked them if by any chance they might
have gone to our house in their blackout state thinking they still lived there. One of the guys said he thought he
remembered climbing through a window and running down a street. >> How do [laughter] you think you remember
that? Oh, maybe you ran down >> Maybe I ran down the street after I climbed through a win- What?
>> The more they talked, they pieced together what happened. >> Oh my god. >> The guys were smashed, thought they
still lived at our house, couldn't get in the front door, so did the next logical thing and broke through the
screen on the window. >> Oh my god. >> stumbled around the house, running into furniture that wasn't where they thought
it should be. They were hungry, so they looked in the fridge. It's funny cuz it's misspelled, it says
the fridge. [laughter] >> So they I don't know why that made me laugh. >> Finding not much word there due to the
party animals eating everything that wasn't still crawling, the fridge [laughter] was empty.
Oh, but the freezer contained some delectable items. They threw said items out the window. What Maggie heard,
ran upstairs, who knows why, were freaked out to see people were there, ran downstairs out the back door.
Somehow they retrieved the tots and lasagna along the way. Quite a feat for smashed college students. No ghosts, no
murders, just drunk guys out of their minds and craving a good tot. >> Wow. >> Maggie never did apologize for blaming
us. Parties continued. Ah, the '80s, keeping it weird at all times. Violet. >> Wow.
What the [ __ ] >> That was That I love how it came full circle, though. >> That's so '80s.
>> It really was. >> So, they just came back to a house they thought they lived in.
>> That feels like a movie. It really does. >> I'm obsessed with that. >> That was amazing.
>> Oh, but that must have been nice to find out in a weird way cuz you were probably
not afraid of your house anymore. >> no >> No poltergeists. >> No poltergeists. Just But then you have
to worry about these [ __ ] getting drunk again and thinking they live there. >> I know.
>> Like that's a little scary. >> That is a little bit scary. I'd be like, "Can you remember where you live? Like
write it on your hand or something?" >> You live in the dark. >> Well, I'm sorry.
>> I didn't say that to you. >> Uh also, Maggie, get it together. >> Yeah, Maggie.
You're sad. >> sad. >> Maggie's sad. Yeah, Maggie's sad. >> Maggie's sad beyond >> She said sad way of living to be
>> to run grumpy. >> to run grumpy. >> And to never apologize for it. I don't know if I apologize a lot, but I do when
I'm mean. >> You do apologize if you're grumpy. >> Yeah, yeah. If I know I'm grumpy, I'm
like, >> Yeah, I apologize when I'm grumpy sometimes. >> I do, too. >> You got to
large? That's not nice. >> [laughter] >> So. >> Damn. >> Anyway, this one is called spirit.
>> [clears throat] >> [ __ ] >> Did he just say [ __ ] >> He said poor. >> Oh my god, I thought he was said [ __ ]
What? >> I was literally drink like >> Do you say p o u r? >> No. >> Oh, like poor like you're poor. you he
said you broke [ __ ] >> Yeah, you broke [ __ ] >> And now he said [clears throat] inside.
>> Yeah. >> Po- I'm poor inside. >> [laughter] >> He said you're empty of morals.
>> [ __ ] >> Whatever. All right, this one is called spirit at the salon. Hi Ashalina, this
is Rob. >> Hi Rob. >> I want to share more light-hearted story about a positive ghostly experience that
helped me understand myself a bit better. >> Oh. >> Names and specifics have been changed
because toxic masculinity is a thing. >> Sure is. >> In the town where I grew up, I would
often spend afternoons hanging out at my aunt's beauty salon down the street from
the school while I waited for my mom to get home from work. I love that so much.
When I tell you it was the '80s, when you walked into the salon, you knew it. Wood grain cabinets and drawers, pink
painted walls, >> yeah. >> shiny linoleum tile, pink vinyl covered chairs. Oh my god.
Those retro salon decals on the walls, you know the ones. >> I do. >> Yep. >> The smell of perm solution soaked into
every surface. I hated perm week at school. And a whole row of dryer hoods along the
side wall. >> Yes. >> Mostly most of them usually occupied by the regulars getting their weekly roller
[snorts] sets. >> Hell yeah. >> Very [clears throat] Steel Magnolias. I love that movie.
Drink the juice, Shelby. I'd spend afternoons in the waiting room fighting the kind of extreme boredom
that only a small child with more than 10 minutes of unoccupied time can feel. I colored, read the same four comic
books on the rack that never changed, and entertained the old ladies who always told me I reminded them of their
grandsons. >> Hell yeah, Rob. >> And eventually my aunt put a broom in my hands and set me to work getting that
swe- sweet free child labor out of me. [laughter] One winter day when it was dark and the
salon was closed, I was waiting for my aunt to clean up and take me home. I glanced out the picture window, which in
darkness had become a big black mirror framed with frost around the edges. Despite the salon being empty other than
my aunt in the back room, in the window's reflection, I saw a lady sitting in one of the dryer chairs. She
had her hair in rollers and was draped in the salon's standard issue pink vinyl cape. Confused knowing the salon was
closed, I turned around and there was no one there. >> Oh, I love her. >> What a ghost [laughter] to see.
>> Forever getting her hair done. Forever doing self-care. >> Oh my god. >> Forever.
>> She's probably very warm though. >> Good for her. >> I thought about I thought about telling
my aunt, but I didn't want to say anything because I clearly just saw a ghost and saying it out loud would make
that real. >> Very fair. >> I saw this lady more and more over the next few years. She was always in the
same dryer chair, always only in the window's reflection after close. I eventually got the courage to bring it
up to my aunt, but she's always been a very stern woman who never tolerated any shenanigans, mischief, tomfoolery,
>> or >> monkey shines? >> Yeah. I've never heard of monkey shines. >> live that way.
>> No. Not tolerating any shenanigans, mischief, tomfoolery, or monkey shines. >> Yeah, that's nuts.
>> I'm all about that. >> I'm all about that, [laughter] too. >> I love tomfoolery. That's my middle
name. >> She told me Ash Tomfoolery Kelly. >> She told me it was just my imagination
and handed me some towels to fold. I've lost count of the number of towels I folded in my life.
>> Same. When you're an apprentice, all you do is wash, wash, wash, dry, dry, dry,
laundry, laundry, laundry, fold, fold, fold. And then you pay some parking tickets.
>> Damn. >> Oh. Now, as I grew up and no longer needed a babysitter, I still visited the salon
regularly, partly because I enjoyed the compliments that came along with being the resident handyman or free labor, but
mostly because I enjoyed flirting with the cute girls who would come in to get their hair done. And fellas, if a girl
flirts with you while she's got a head full of perm ro- rods and wearing a pink salon cape, then you know she trusts
you. >> That had stopped seeing that super valid. I had stopped seeing the ghost
lady and had mostly forgotten about the whole thing. But fast forward a few years and I'm home on break from
college. I'm on a nostalgia tour around town and I stop in the salon to say hi. At one point I glanced at the big
picture window and had a flash of remembrance thinking of the ghost lady for the first time since I was little. I
don't know where the idea came from but I thought maybe I'd join that lady for old time's sake.
That's adorable. >> Oh my god. >> I don't know what was more embarrassing for me. Asking my aunt to set my hair in
rollers or knowing that I was doing it for a ghost. >> Wait, I love that you literally did this
for the ghost lady. >> I'm obsessed with this. >> It's so sweet that you just felt
compelled to do that. >> I love this. >> I'm obsessed. >> this. >> She showed herself to the right person.
>> Yeah, she did. >> She was so excited to do my hair. I've been growing it out since college and
she clearly wanted to get her hands on it for quite a while. Soon enough I was feeling awkward with my hair in curlers,
was wearing a pink cape of my own and I sat myself down under the dryer right next to where the ghost lady always sat.
I'm going [laughter] to cry right now. I'm actually going to cry. >> Yeah, I love this.
>> I started asking her questions. I have years of experience talking to the salon
ladies so I knew what they like to talk about. I asked her about where she grew up, her family, her pets, crafts and
hobbies that she liked. I never heard any answers. Not that I could hear anything cuz those dryers are loud as
[ __ ] am I right? >> are pretty loud. >> But as I talked sitting in silence between questions to give her time to
answer, I felt a growing sense of peace and tranquility. >> I love this. >> I can only describe it as the feeling
you get when you're alone in nature quietly enjoying the view during a very pleasant walk. I don't know if this lady
ever was really there or if I if my keeping her company was helpful to her spirit in any way, but it certainly was
helpful to mine. And as an aside, my hair looked incredible. >> [laughter] >> Ladies, if you haven't tried an old
school roller set, you seriously got to try it. The pin up waves it gives are unbeatable and they lasted for
[laughter] days. I'm obsessed with you. Also, I love pin curl set. I was literally teaching Daddy
how to do pin curls. They were a little different this time, but Long [snorts] story long, no no place
feels like home uh to me as much as a quaint neighborhood hair salon and everywhere I've lived, I've always
searched for a friendly little salon with kind stylists and regulars who welcome me as one of their own. I may be
the only cishet male who has been sta- who has a standing appointment for a deep conditioning treatment and a roller
set. >> I love him a lot. >> I'm in my 40s and I still have a full healthy head of hair.
>> Yes, cuz you done took care of it, baby. >> And I like to believe that part of the
reason is the unnamed ghost lady is my hair guardian angel. This is my favorite story we've ever received. This is my
favorite story. She's watching over the hair She's watching over my hair the same way I looked out for her that day.
Thank you for your time. No, thank you for yours. [laughter] Thank you for being weird. Just weird
enough that you go to get your hair done with some old school curlers as a tribute to all the badass women who came
before. Rob. >> Literally. [laughter] >> Obsessed with you. That is the I just spit everywhere. The
sweetest tale we've ever received. >> that. >> Wow. That just made my whole day. Rob
forever. We're done. >> Yeah, that was it. That was Rob. >> perfect ending. >> god, I love that tale so much.
>> Wow. Guys, it was the '80s. I can't wait to wash my face and brush my hair. I got to tell you something, I've
never felt more insane in my life. >> You look great. >> I liked being Krampus better.
>> [laughter] >> Yeah. >> And Miranda Priestly. >> And a lot. That goes without saying.
It's just 2:00 a.m. >> Yeah. >> Oh, take me back to Miranda's country. >> comfortable, but I could live like that
with the tight [clears throat] pants right now. >> stay like that and I don't think many
people would question it. >> Probably not. Yeah. >> I love [laughter] it. All right. Well,
thank you guys so much for writing in your tales. If you have a tale and you want to write in, send them to
morbidpodcast@gmail.com. Make sure to say hello to everybody. And >> Entitle it listener tales and then your
tale. >> And if there's if there are any pictures or anything, just make sure you give us permission to
share or tell us that you don't want them shared. Just like tell us either way. >> Tell us.
>> Tell us. And I think that's it. >> Yeah. >> All right, so we hope you keep listening
and we hope you keep it weird. >> Not so weird that you don't go get a [ __ ] roller set with a ghost lady. Do
keep it so Well, don't keep it so weird that you break into people's houses and steal their tater
>> tots. Like that's insane. >> That's [ __ ] up. Those were mine. >> You can't be doing that.
>> No. >> It was the '80s though. >> It was the '80s. >> Do Yeah, don't keep it so weird that in
the afterlife you assault somebody's grandma. >> No, don't talk about you, you pervy old ghost, old
Joe. >> And do not keep it so weird as to sleep with your upstairs bedroom door open and
run into Richard Ramirez. He's dead now, but >> Or to be Richard Ramirez. >> Don't ever keep it that weird. Don't eat
Cabbage Patch Kids. >> Remember when he got the [ __ ] kicked out of him by the entire neighborhood
though? >> That was pretty wild. >> That was great. >> That was awesome. >> If you don't know
>> [laughter] >> already. >> Yeah, it was the '80s, right? >> Or was it the '90s?
>> That was the Might have been the '80s. Hold. >> Or was it the early '90s? >> Let me see.
>> I can't wait to take this tutu off. It's digging into my sides. >> Oh, he was caught in the 1985.
>> Oh my gosh. Okay, it was the '80s, so that's why they kicked the [ __ ] out of
him in the '80s. Okay. >> Period. >> Get him out. >> All right, well, >> [laughter]
>> we already said keep it weird, so bye, I guess. >> So bye. >> Love you. >> This was the '80s, man.
>> [music] [music] >> Woo!

Cowritten by Alaina Urquhart, Ash Kelley & Dave White (Since 10/2022) Produced & Edited by Mikie Sirois (Since 2023) Research by Dave White (Since 10/2022), Alaina Urquhart & Ash Kelley Listener Correspondence & Collaboration by Debra Lally Listener Tale Video Edited by Aidan McElman (Since 6/2025) Listener Tale Theme Music licensed from https://www.purple-planet.com Main Theme: Matti Paalanen — Trick or Treat — Provided by Jamendo Ad Music: Title: Artist: BlueJay Studio — Spooky Waltz — Provided by Jamendo

Brief Summary

Listeners share spooky 1980s ghost stories, including encounters with Richard Ramirez and a salon ghost.

Key points

Welcome to Morbid: 1980s Edition. Join Ash and Elena as they dive into the quirky vibes of the 1980s.
Listener Tale: A Haunted House. Brian shares a spooky story about his family's haunted house from the 1980s.
The Mysterious Presence. Nan, who considers herself a witch, encounters a ghostly figure in her new home.
The Medium's Revelation. A medium reveals the presence of a spirit and a vortex in the basement.
Old Joe's Bold Move. Old Joe makes a move on Nan, leading to unexpected consequences.
The Haunting Confirmation. The storyteller learns their childhood home was haunted by Old Joe.

Episode highlights

Episode quotes

Let's get to the tales, y'all.

4:31WatchApr 30, 2026

Tension

40/ 100Low tension

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