Listener Tales 112: Vacation! | Forensic Files

Hey weirdos. I'm your dad. >> I'm your other dad. >> You have two dads. And we're on
vacation. And this is Morbid. Where your dad's on vacation. Period. What up? What up? We're going to be
talking about vacation. listener tales today. >> Duh. And this just felt right. >> It did. I
>> And it was comfy. >> The flamingo set to me Yeah. >> is everything. >> It feels real good.
>> I look like I don't have pants on, which is probably upsetting to some. >> Some dads don't wear pants.
>> Some dads don't wear pants. I got aliens on vacation. >> I love that. >> I'd probably wear this.
>> I was going to say just wear that anyway. >> If I just wear it on your book tour,
>> honestly. >> Maybe I will. >> Valid. Like just this this and like a a little dress under that.
>> Okay. >> I support that a lot. >> And like some cute flats. >> Yeah. Let's go.
>> I like it. >> Uh oh. Yeah. Hey guys, have you seen it? Have you seen the bookmark?
>> That's the bookmark. >> This is the bookmark. >> The It's not a bookmark. It is the
bookmark. >> This is the bookmark. Look at that. And then you can put it in your special
edition of the book, which you can pre-order right now. >> And look, the blood continues to drip.
And it drips in line. Oh, wait. You can even make three blood drips come out. That's what That's what I did wrong.
>> Look at that. Look at that. Leave that on your coffee table. And this bookmark.
>> She's hard. She's thick. She's not going to break. You're not going to lose her.
>> No. >> She's shiny. She's like eat this. >> No. >> My dog eats my bookmarks. So,
>> your dog probably couldn't eat this. And if they do, you should go to the vet
right away. >> Yeah. >> But if you pre-order the book, if you pre-order the Butcher Legacy,
>> this book, >> then you will be entered to win one of these. There's a bunch of people that
are going to win some of these and it's you just have to enter and I the link is
in my bio. You just have to enter proof that you pre-ordered the butcher legacy receipt. You know that kind of thing.
You got that and then you'll be entered automatically to win. And they're really
cool. They're really cool. And the special edition is something I'm really excited about cuz I finally have a
special edition and if you don't get a box set soon, heads will roll. >> I would like a box set as far as I'm
concerned. So maybe I'll get a box set up. >> I'll get a box set up. >> But we got we got a special edition. We
got some some art. Let me see. >> You got some art here. >> That's fun. >> We got some art. I like it. We got some
We got some annotated chapters in here. Maybe >> you get to see Elena's handwriting.
>> I don't want to show you too much. Uh we there's there's lots of cool stuff in
here. And the sprayed edges. >> Do you know my favorite thing about you? One of my favorite things about you. You
have like the bubbliest handwriting for for the spookiest girl. >> I do have that handwriting.
>> You have like girl in eighth grade passing note handwriting. >> Cuz I was a girl in eighth grade passing
notes. >> Me too. Of course. I'm actually so mad. I used to have a box of all my notes.
But I don't know. I mean, >> and we'd fold them in that extra special way. >> You fold them into like triangles
sometimes. Yeah. >> We got real fancy with it. >> It's true. >> Those were the days.
>> They really were. I was Oh my god, I got in trouble so many times passing notes.
>> I think we all did. Here we are. So, we're gonna do some I think we got our business down, right? Yeah. It's time
for the listener tales, which are brought to you by you, for you, from you, and all about you. Let's do this.
>> I feel like we need to make like dad puns if we can. And like dad jokes. >> Definitely some dad puns and dad jokes.
>> John's really good at those. We should have invited him. >> I know. I should Every now and then I
should call him and just tell him to give one. just be like, "Yeah, >> cool. I'll do that."
>> I was just be like, >> "Yeah, >> I was That's what I'll do. I'll call him and I'll go,
>> yeah, >> yeah, fair enough." And we've been married long enough that he'll know what that
means. Fair enough. I was gonna say I was gonna say call him and say we need your help but then and then he
would say I'm dad but it didn't work. Like you know when you're like I'm hungry and he's like I'm dad. I need
your help. I'm dad. Oh [ __ ] I'm like really tired, you know? We're here. >> It's summer.
>> It's summer. It's almost full. >> It's coming. All right, let's read this first one, shall we? Yeah, we should.
>> This one's called I fell in a bog >> twice. Twice. >> You shouldn't do that. >> You shouldn't even do that once.
>> No, you shouldn't. >> All right, let's see. Hi, Ashina. Please note, you may use my name. Thank you. I
don't know it yet, but we're going to get there. Someday we'll learn. First of all, fan girl moment. Y'all,
>> what? By all means. >> By all means. >> So, he was you may use my name. And he
said, by all means. Yours is Nicholas. Yeah, we love it. >> Uh, y'all are the best. You're the best.
And I love the support and encouragement y'all provide to women. >> Thank you. >> Yeah. Hell yeah.
>> We need to support each other who run the world. >> All of us. >> What did he say?
>> He said not all of us. I said we need to support each other and he said not all of us.
>> Well, that's valid. That's actually valid. >> Nicholas spitting [ __ ] truths
out here. >> He said he said put limits. >> I'm Damn >> Nicholas, you are so correct.
>> I told you correct. >> I told you he gets >> that was very correct and I appreciate
you making that a little more. He said pull it in. >> He said there's nuance. Pull it back.
There's nuance to the situation. He said, "We don't need a blanket statement like that out there. We don't need to
all support each other." >> Oh my god. >> Whoa. Whoa. Okay. >> Am I dead? >> Yes. What did he just say?
>> Am I dead? >> Am I dead? >> Unfortunately, yes, we believe so. I'm so sorry. >> What are you laughing at? It's just so
funny. Why? He spits some super like pointant truths and we're like, "Fuck yeah, Nicholas." And he's like, "Yeah,
>> am I dead? >> Am I dead?" >> Oh, Nikki. >> He's like, "I have such a serious question, Nikki.
>> Am I dead?" >> All right, Nicholas, we love you. Dead or not? >> Whoa. As someone who struggles with MDD,
major depressive disorder, >> I'm sorry. >> Thank you for all the times you've I'm
going to take my glasses off cuz I can't read with them. >> Really? Yeah. I'm too old for this.
>> It's like nice. I don't like the big light and there's like a lot of lights in here. So, I think this is my new
solution. >> It, you know, it just it like blurred it for me and all of a sudden I was like,
whoa. >> Yeah. >> Uh, sorry about that. Thank you for all the times um y'all have been there for
me during my low points. Oh, we'll always be there. >> Yeah, y'all's commentary never fails to
make me laugh and feel better. Which leads me to my next thing. Sometimes y'all say that you're going to be called
out or yelled at for mispronouncing or using an incorrect term. Yes. >> Yeah. >> But please know your fans wouldn't do
that or even bat an eye or give a [ __ ] >> [ __ ] the haters who complain and seem to
have some sort of superiority complex. Hell yeah. Have they ever started a beyond successful podcast? Are they
being forced to listen to morbid? I'm going to say no and no. Well, maybe they should be forced to listen to every
episode until they can come to appreciate what y'all do. Period. >> Know you both are so loved and adored.
We adore you right back. >> My goodness. Uh, okay. On with the story. I was listening to the bog
episode >> and thought I should tell you about the time I fell in a bog. >> Did you fall on a bog body?
>> Oh [ __ ] In 2023, my sister and I took a trip to Scotland for her 40th birthday.
>> If we don't go to Scotland soon, I might pummel you. >> Truly. Let me tell you, this trip was a
doozy. We both have ADHD and traumatic childhoods. I'm sorry. Which means we stri We strive in chaos and tend to be
too calm situations other may panic and find alarming. >> Maybe that's why I freeze.
>> Maybe like I I'm not I'm not like running. I'm just like you're just like here we are.
>> Yeah. Just you just dear in headlights. I won't go into everything, but the trip was a
doozy. Let me set the f the stage of our journey. Day one, our flight gets cancelled after sitting on the tarmac
for over two hours due to a blizzard. Yay, Minnesota weather. Day two was we successfully arrive in Glasgow, but our
bags do not. >> Oh, that's my worst nightmare. >> What can you do? By this time, my sister
is hangry. I only mentioned this because we went to pick up the rental car and the man asked if we both plan to drive
and she wasn't too keen on answering. So, I answered that I would be the sole driver. I should mention this trip with
was us driving the entire perimeter of the country. >> Driving fast. >> Driving fast. But the woman needed food
and I couldn't fault her for that. So off to Edinburgh, we drive with two fluorescent yellow bracelets on each
wrist that say left side given by the That's actually really smart. >> That actually is smart. Yeah.
>> Given by the car rental place to remind me which side of the road to drive on
along with the promise of our bags to be delivered at some point in time. I didn't know they did that. That's really
smart. That would [ __ ] me up still even with the bracelet. >> You're not good at lefts and rights.
>> I'm not good at lefts and rights and I just feel like I would hate it. Like >> I see I think it would help me.
>> No, no, no. I like I think the bracelet would help. I would just hate the the
fact that I had to drive on the other side. Like I don't think I could do it. >> Yeah.
>> With day two starting off with a bang, we decide to go explore the city since
we didn't have luggage to drop off at the hotel. We parked the car, we pack the cat, and are walking around when we
notice a group of people gathered on the sidewalk. As we approach, the first thing we hear is an EMT say, "Yep, looks
like antifreeze." Ends up a woman, oh no, had died on the sidewalk after ingesting antifreeze.
>> [ __ ] Now, I grew up being taught that you don't stop to watch car accidents or
emergency situations because it causes uh it causes getting in the way or another accident. So, on we continued,
passing right by the dearly deceased Jesus. >> It causes getting in the way. >> No.
>> What did he say? I didn't hear. >> Elderly. >> Elder. Maybe she was elderly. >> Interesting. Once I got my sister fed,
we headed back to our hotel where our bags had arrived. Yay. We go to our room and as we're getting settled, I look
over to her and said, "Remember that time we saw a dead body?" Both of us burst out laughing. To clarify, we were
laughing at the fact that we are so [ __ ] up from childhood that we don't know how to properly respond unexpected.
>> You said that. >> I get it, though. Yeah, I get it. Uh, but we were laughing at the fact that
we're so [ __ ] up from childhood that we don't know how to properly respond or react to crazy events. That's completely
okay. It happens. >> But the deceased woman, I do sincerely hope she has now found peace. Our world
is shitty and you never know what someone has endured to lead them up to that point. Halfway through the trip, we
went to the Highlands where we stayed on a wonder at a wonderful cottage owned by
two sisters who had just opened the day prior. One day, we decided we wanted to see the fairy pools.
>> I want to see them. One of our sisters told us to go to a spot a few miles down
the road and walk through the forest versus the place all the tourists go. That meant we would get to see the
prettier pools frequented by the locals. So, off we went. After surviving a one-lane road on a mountain without any
railings, covered in potholes and meant for traffic going both ways. We finally pull into a small parking area.
>> Probably. >> Every time they talk about driving, he says fast. >> He's like, "Slow down or go faster."
Yeah. >> Uh, so it was next to the forest. We get out of the car and notice many articles
of clothing laying around. I make a comment about how rude it is for people to leave clothing and trash instead of
properly disposing of it. As we approach the forest, not likely, he said. >> Trash.
>> As we approach the forest, we notice there is no path. We were legit going into a random, slightly dim, dense
forest. I look over and to see a sheep. As my witchy woman, nature loving self, I tell my sister, "We should follow it
since I'm convinced it'll lead us to water." After a few yards, after a few yards in, I go to take my next step. And
I fall right into a [ __ ] bog. I love that because you were following a sheep. He fell into a bog. That's really
ashcoated to be honest. It really is. You said that sheep will bring us somewhere.
>> And to be fair, he did lead you to water. So he just didn't tell you which water. And you didn't say when it was
coming. >> You didn't ask. So my sister started coming for me and I yelled, "Don't you
dare take one more step or we will die in here." >> Oh god. I happened to be wearing my
favorite flannel jacket and took it off and threw it at her. I then decided I would try to move forward since I was
only co since I was only covered in bog muck up to my claps. Oh my god. However,
as soon as I moved, I started to sink. And by sink, I meant that at this point the bog was up to my tits.
>> Not bo up to your tits. >> Oh my god. My sister is dying of laughter. That's That's a sister. Which was making
me both laugh and sink even further. Oh my god. You're going to drown in a bog. She then sees a broken branch and grabs
it for me to hold on to as she pulls me out. What happened next, you ask? My shoes, new Rothy sneakers are item.
>> Oh, those are so cute. >> And underwear decided they wanted to live in the bog.
>> What? >> The bog took your underwear. >> Oh my god. Since bogs preserve things, I
guess in the future people may one day discover these cool shoes and the magical thing known as yoga.
>> They'll be like, "What are these?" >> Have you been before? >> I have not been before, but Nicholas, I
would really love to go to Scotland. >> We have to go. >> But back to the story. We were laughing
as hard as uh we were laughing so hard as we took stock of what had been stolen from me and what we needed to do next.
>> What do you do? You literally don't have pants or underus on anymore. Like, what
do you do in that itch? I guess she has the flannel. >> Yeah. But since we didn't really have
any options, we took off running to the car. Once at the car, the realization hit me that I could not get inside with
bog [ __ ] covering what little clothes I had left. Since the seats of the rental
car were fabric, I already knew I had scraped against one too many curbs and hit one too many potholes. So, I didn't
want to risk having to also pay for the interior damage as well. My best option was to take off the rest of my clothes
and leave them next to the discarded ones I mentioned earlier. >> You just have to drive naked.
>> That's all just bog clothing. I drive us back up the mountain road completely
naked. We make it back to the cottage. >> We fast. He did. We drive fast. >> What the [ __ ] That's so weird. Now he
knows you're driving fast >> every single time. We also I feel like these locals punked you because it's
like let's see who has to drive home naked. >> I think they do that to people. Yeah.
Good for them. Now we know. Yeah. Uh, so yeah, you're naked. We make it back to the cottage and my sister says, "You're
naked and other people are staying here. Do you want me to go grab you a shirt?"
I respond that I will not allow the bog mock to ruin anything else. So I hop out
of the car and take off sprinting to our room. I should mention that our room is
>> I am recording. Thank you for asking. Um, you're being great. So I hop out of
the car and take off sprinting to our room. I should mention that our room is an unattached cottage from the main
house. My sister goes in the main house to grab extra towels and notices the two
sisters and a few guests huddled around the window. They turn around and ask, "Did your just sister just run by
naked?" She responds, "Yeah, so she fell in a bog." Apparently, they had never heard of such a thing happening to
someone, so lots of laughter and many questions followed. >> Sure they hadn't. >> As a lady, my biggest concern was for my
lady parts. I didn't know what the [ __ ] that bug was already preserving and I wanted to be clean ASAP. I showered for
a solid hour, hour and a half and then took another shower as soon as the hot water returned. PH is a serious thing.
>> Once done, my sister asked how I knew that she shouldn't take a step towards the bog to try to reach me. I responded,
"That wasn't my first time." She laughed so hard that tears were streaming down her face with me quickly joining in
because you know what? What else can we do but laugh? Though I now live in the Midwest, I'm originally from and grew up
in the Appalachin Mountains. So, I have many spooky experiences I'm happy to one
day share. Yeah, definitely share those. >> Definitely. Anyways, stay weird and don't fall in a bog.
>> Don't fall in a bog. >> Wait, I want to know about the other time you fell in a bo. I need to know
about that. >> Was it in Appalachia? Are there bogs in Appalachia? >> So many questions.
>> I mean, we have bogs. There's like cranberry bogs. >> Yeah, bogs. Some bogs. But they have
spidies. >> Yeah. >> Oh, bog spiders. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. It's a no for me. >> That's so [ __ ] up. I don't want that.
>> Okay. Our next tale is Can't Stop, Won't Stop, Must Stop. Rest Stop. >> Damn.
>> I'm obsessed. >> Hey, weirdos. My name is Daniel and I'm from Daniel. Hey, Daniel. I'm from the
middle of nowhere in upstate New York. >> All right. He said, "All right." >> He said, "All right, I'll listen to
that." >> I said, "All right, we don't need to hear anything else." >> Oh, he said, "That's enough, Daniel."
>> Said, "Get to the story." >> So, don't triangulate yourself. Currently living in Maryland, getting
ready to move to Colorado. See you. Nicholas knew. He said, "Don't triangulate."
>> He said too much. >> My husband to be is in the space force, so we'll be moving around a lot. We're
getting married next weekend. Oh my god. >> Congrats. >> Congrats. I'm currently listening to
your show, drinking a pumpkin spice espresso martini, and writing my vows. What a wonderful combination. Haha.
>> That's lovely. >> That's the most beautiful combination I've ever heard in my life.
>> I love it. I figured I would take a break from writing my vows and tell you about the most runchy encounter I've
ever had. Spoiler, it has a good ending, and I tend to use the the word runchy a
lot, so you'll know why. I love this already. I have been a huge fan of your show for a while now. Shout out to my
best friend, Avalon, who got me hooked on it. Oh my god, you and Avalon. >> Avalon. Hell yeah.
>> And I've been hooked ever since. I just finished the Albert Fish case. >> And boy, did I need to shower in bleach
and holy water after hearing about that about what that old saggy [ __ ] eating monstrosity did. Yep.
>> He literally looks like a crossbreed of Ema and Dennis Raider. >> Yes, >> [ __ ] Dennis. You're correct.
>> He actually really does. >> [ __ ] Dennis. Anywh who, you're probably wondering where this story is
going with a title such as this. Well, ladies and listeners, hold on to your butts. If by any chance you do end up
reading this, I do apologize for the length and runchiness of the story. Never. >> Feel free to edit anything you deem too
much or unnecessary. No, >> I won't do it. >> I'm two espresso martinis in and I got
to get this memory off my chest. >> Let's go. Oh, I love when people separated into parts.
>> Yeah. >> Part one, can't stop, won't stop, rocking to the rhythm. I've added that
for you. I was driving home from New York on a stretch of highway after Christmas one night, and there was
nothing ahead of me but a stretch of highway that went for a good 100 and something miles until reaching a
somewhat populated area. It's late, and I'm starving, and I need to make it home
by morning so I can get a few hours of sleep and make it to work for my afternoon shift. But I need food, so I
decided to stop at the next sheets. I come across >> Sheets, you say? >> Sheets. I never heard of Sheets. I don't
know about you, but there are some gas stations that have really good coffee, and I love me some Sheets coffee. I
honestly would love my coffee through an IV. Anyhow, I go in, I order a coffee, and I order a chicken Sammy with some
extra boom boom sauce. >> Hell yeah. >> Because that boom boom sauce is the awesome sauce.
>> It sounds awesome. >> I want to go to Sheets. I'm devouring the sandwich in my car with the cashier
staring at me through the window as if he was watching an animal at the zoo. That's judgy.
>> So, I stared right back at him while eating the rest of my sandwich. >> Hell yeah. It was intense and it was
awkward and I loved it. I even licked the bottom of the boob sauce off my rapper just to gross him out even more.
>> I'm obsessed with you. Finally, after satisfying my hunger and need for entertainment, I decided to get back on
the road. >> Part two must stop. This is perfectly set up. >> I'm like, are you gonna poop? All right,
ladies. I don't know if you've ever had Sheets's boom boom sauce. Can't say I have. We're We're Sheets Boom Boom sauce
virgins. But it is probably the most delicious sauce in existence. I could eat gallons of it. Anyway, about 15
minutes after being on the road, I feel this sensation in the pit of my stomach.
>> This worries me because there is nothing but open road ahead of me. >> Uhoh. >> Now I completely understand why Sheets
calls it boom boom sauce because after 15 minutes on the road, boom. >> Timeless.
>> Timeless. He said tail as old as time. >> He said been there. Whatever I ate in the last 2 days fell
from the pit of my stomach straight into my lower intestine. I knew I was in trouble.
>> Thankfully, I saw a sign that read that read rest stop 10 miles ahead. So, I did
what any rational human being would do. I undid my seat belt to take any pressure off my waist, clenched the
booty, and prayed to whoever was listening that I made it to the rest stop in time. I was clenching so hard my
ass was literally about 6 in off my seat. I looked like a [ __ ] semicolon driving down the highway. I prayed for
Jesus to take the wheel, but the way I was driving, his ass wouldn't even be in the car. Did he say certainly?
>> I thought he said struggle. >> Certainly. >> Certainly. He said certainly Jesus is
not in your car. Part three. Rest stop. Note, this is about to get runchy. Proceed with caution.
>> I'm cautious. >> After about 5 minutes and 30 Hail Marys, I finally I finally pull into the rest
stop parking area. I noticed there's only one other car there, but this place looks like it hadn't been cleaned since
Eisenhower was in office. That's horrible. I swing my door open, lock the car, and run to the bathroom. Thank god
no children were around because I was dropping trow before I even made it to the door. I sw the door open and run to
the closest stall that was open. Suddenly, my soul was at peace, but my body was was erupting like Mount Vuvius.
I bl I may have blacked out for a second, but I was too out of it to tell. After a
few minutes, I finally gathered myself. I noticed that there was another pair of
legs in the stall next to me. >> He too was having a difficult night as there were interesting sounds coming
from his stall. After a moment of listening, I could just hear him laughing. "Did you have the boom boom
sauce, too?" I asked. "Nah, my wife's chili," he said. I could tell from his voice that he was an older man. The
>> What did he say? >> Tell the truth. >> Tell the Tell the truth. He had the boom
sauce. Don't blame your wife's chili. The explosions hit us both and we were laughing so hard at our current
situation. Here I am. Here I am playing battle shits with a complete stranger. And suddenly the door swings open. I see
another pair of legs walk into the stall next to the old man further down. I wonder if it's John Williams coming to
conduct his orchestra of ass. I said success. We were both laughing so hard. However, there was nothing but silence
from the stranger in the far away stall. Dang. I heard the old man say, "Do you have any toilet paper over there? I'm
all out over here." "Dang, indeed." "Dang." I chuckled and saw that I had a few rolls in my stall. So, I handed one
under the stall to him. Suddenly, I heard the old man gasp next to me. I asked if he was okay, and he didn't
respond. I started to see his leg shake violently and started to worry. I kept asking if he was okay, but he didn't
respond. >> You said, "Give it back. >> Give it back. >> Give the toilet paper back." It was
back. I called 911 and told the operator I was at a rest stop and the old man is
shaking violently in a stall. He asked where I was and I told him which rest stop I was at. I tried keeping the old
man calm and tried to get him to do some breathing exercises. I would have gotten
up and helped him, but unfortunately I was not done yet. >> Oh no. >> After a few minutes, I could hear cars
pulling into the rest stop parking lot. A paramedic burst through the door and starts knocking on stalls. When he gets
to my stall, I panic, hoping he's not going to burst open my door. I tell him the old man is in the stall beside me.
He opens the door to the stall beside me and silence. Nothing. I continue to hear
more doors opening further away. And suddenly I hear the paramedics say, "We're going to need a stretcher in
here." Oh, what the [ __ ] I'm confused yet relieved that they were helping him.
I finish my business, then walk out of the stall and see a young man on a stretcher. I promise I washed my hands.
What happened to the old man next to me? I asked. There was no one in that stall,
but we did find this young man a few stalls down. It looked like he was shooting up in there and he ODed. They
said he was going to be okay, but that they needed That's good. He's going to be okay. But they needed to get him to a
hospital immediately. A police officer asked for my statement and I told him everything that happened, especially
about the old man in the stall next to me. They searched the rest stop again, but they never found anyone else. The
other car in the lot belonged to the person working at the rest stop. Funny, he does a shitty job at cleaning this
place. Literally, >> the police officer recalled that an old man named William did die in this rest
stop a few years ago from a heart attack under similar circumstances. >> After hearing that, I was super confused
about the whole situation. I honestly couldn't wrap my head around it for the longest time. I'm not one for paranormal
situations, but this is by far one of the weirdest things to happen to me. >> Did the ghost of this man appear to me
so that I would get help for the kid that overdosed in the stall further down? >> Oh [ __ ]
>> Yeah, that's what I thought. To me, it was something extremely strange, but honestly, something I truly hold dear in
my heart because I had a great encounter with this old man, and he was so nice and funny. He's somebody that I truly
would have wanted to get to know as a person. >> Every time I drive past that stop, I
always stop and leave flowers, a roll of toilet paper, and a packet of boom boom
sauce on the lid of that toilet. >> Oh [ __ ] >> I didn't know you were going to put it
in the toilet in the stall of the old man that helped me save that boy's life. >> I just got chills, Daniel. Well, there
you have it. Sorry it was so runchy in detail, but I wanted to make light-heartedness of a sad situation.
Damn. >> To me, laughter is the best medicine, and this memory is something I really do
still laugh about, but also reflect on. Thank you so much for taking the time to
read this story. Hope you both have a wonderful day. Make good choices. Stay away from Boom Sauce. And always take a
chance and make friends with strangers and other stalls. Lol. Love you, Daniel. >> Daniel. Daniel, that was bonkers.com.
>> That really was. And I love, but it was so heartwarming. It was heartwarming and
heartbreaking. I want to know everything about that old man. >> I do too. I love that you guys just had
like some moments together. >> Wait, I love that you went full dab with your sunglasses and put them on the back
of your head. Like commitment to the character even though they can't see it. That's right.
>> Also, you're right. It's hard to read. >> It is these on. Yeah. >> Yeah. >> My old eyes.
>> All right. This one's called Ghosts and Pimple Patches. Oh, one thing about me,
I [ __ ] love a pimple patch. >> [ __ ] love. >> They're so good. Do you ever use a
pimple? I feel like you don't. >> No, I don't really. You don't really acne anymore.
>> No, I I acneed enough in middle school to to last a lifetime. So, >> I didn't think the universe was like
you've you've paid your debt. >> I acneed like a little bit in middle school and high school, like very very
minimally. And even still, like I I don't get pimples that much, but when I do, >> you get a white head, you put that
sucker on the next morning, gone. >> That's crazy. >> The Mighty Patches in particular,
sponsor us. >> I know. I'm going to hold on to I'm stocking up on some of those because the
girls are getting to the age that age >> and I want to be prepared. >> Well, now kids love to walk around with
like huge stars on their faces and they look adorable. Hell >> yeah. >> I'm like,
>> I just have to live with my white head. >> Trust me, it would have been nice. Yeah,
>> would have been nice. I'm glad they have it. >> All right, so it says, "Hi, my name is
Tova." And yes, you can use my name. Hey, Tova. We're jumping right into this sucker. I love that. I love that about
you. This specific story takes place in Sanduski, Ohio. >> Wow. >> I travel for work frequently, staying
overnight in hotels roughly three times a month. I had to stay I had stayed at this specific hotel in Sanduski once
before. During that first stay, every light in my hotel room turned on in the middle of the night, jolting me from
sleep. >> I chocked it up to a loss of power and subsequent subsequent generator kicking
on. So that was the only odd thing that to occur during my first overnight in the hotel. Fast forward two weeks and
here I am again at the same hotel. Imagine my surprise when I see that I'm also assigned the same room number. What
a kinky dink. The hotel smelled strongly of chlorine. Though I originally thought
that the source to be was a pool on the first floor. It wasn't. >> It emanated throughout the entire hotel.
>> Someone died there. >> It was so overwhelming that I had a near constant nagging headache when I was
there. Yeah, that would [ __ ] me up. >> Yeah, that'd be gross. >> It was because of this that I decided to
open the window in my hotel room despite it being 58° that night. It was I turned
off the window unit that was inevitably uh recycling the nauseating smell and allowed the cool breeze to fill the
room. Tuck this bit of information away for later. >> Fresh air is for dead people.
>> Tucked. I am a complicated sleep girly. Any source of light will result in a fitful night of rest since my circadian
rhythm apparently has a deep obsession with staying on schedule. This night, I proceeded with my out of town ritual,
using painters tape to cover the clock on the microwave, alarm clock, etc. My mom is like that. Yep.
>> Like I said, [ __ ] is obsessive. And I use the hangers in the closet to close
and fashion together the window curtains. I fell asleep around 20. That's 9 8:00,
I think. I can't do that. I think it's 8:00. With the clocks in my hotel room covered, it's hard to say when I was
awoken the first time, but at some point I awoke to hear doorork knob gently turning.
>> No. >> Back and forth repeatedly. >> Unfortunate. >> That is unfortunate. >> Unfortunate indeed. He said
>> we're in an unfortunate sitch. >> Very unfortunate to wake up to. I am a side sleeper and I'm currently facing
the door to my hotel room. I see no shadows underneath my door and observe that my doororknob is still. I brush it
off as coming from my neighbor's door or another overnighter down the hall. My conscious brain has survival instincts.
My sleep brain does not. I fall back asleep and am again awoken by the same sound. Back and forth, back and forth.
Still, there are no shadows or shadows or movement and my sleep brain is now pissed. Frustrated and thinking it might
be the kids who were loudly playing in the room next to me all evening, I turned over and fell back to sleep.
>> The room next to you is empty. I'm calling it. >> I think so. Now, I want to preface this
by saying that the events in the next paragraph happen quickly in the span of maybe like 10 seconds. With my back to
the door, I am awoken again, but this mad mad. I'd be mad, too. Like, she's pissed.
>> But this time, the doororknob is not turning gently. It is being violently shaken. [ __ ] that. Back forth, back
forth, back forth. And then silence. Suddenly, my entire body is filled with a feeling of absolute dread. The hair on
my arms and neck standing. Every alarm in my lizard brain blaring a warning. The seconds drip by when I feel like a b
when I feel the bed decompressed behind me. No, >> you read that right as if someone were
trying to get into bed with me. >> No. >> Heat then fills the space between the back of my ear and neck. Someone is
breathing on me. >> Stop it right now. >> And I'm screaming. >> Period. >> I throw the covers off and reach behind
me to turn on the bedside lamp. But in that split second of staring into the darkness before light filled the room, I
see a man standing in the hallway of my hotel room and in front of the door, the
moment light fills the void, he's gone. What >> the actual [ __ ] I was not a popular person that night.
Several neighbors and overnighters on my floor rushed to my hotel door after they
heard the screaming. being woken up at 3:00 a.m. by a hysterical 30-year-old with pimple patches wearing a pretty
privileged t-shirt had them all questioning their choice of hotel that >> and I'm obsessed with you.
>> I tried my best to explain but was met with looks and so you want to >> what do you
>> I meant it uh but was met with wary looks and so do you want us to call the police? The police were not called and I
and reluctantly I returned to that room. After I regained my composure, my right
brain put her on her big girl pants and attempted to reason her way through the night's events. But I was left with the
following questions. One, none of my neighbors heard the door knob. So, what did I hear? Two, I had turned the window
unit off and opened the window to a 58° night, but I distinctly felt heat on my neck and behind my ear. So, what did I
feel? Breath. Three. Lastly, I eventually worked up the courage to turn off the lights again and examine the
desk chair, lamp, etc. to determine if what I saw in the hallway could have been a trick of my imagination, but that
hallway and the pathway to it were completely empty. >> That's [ __ ] >> So, what did I see? My husband believes
it was a night terror. My mom believes it was a demon. The [ __ ] And my mother-in-law believes it was a ghost.
What do you think, ladies? Keep it weird, but not so weird that you develop a fetish for scaring 30-year-old women
wearing pimple patches in the afterlife. P.S. Oh, and here's photos of me and my
beautiful husband. He's grown accustomed to having morbid play on on our many He
said, "Let's go on our many road trips to help pass the time. If you do me the honor of actually choosing this story, I
cannot wait to surprise him with it. Today's your day, baby." And then casually play it off like it's not one
of the most fulfilling and exciting moments of my life because, you know, I'm chill. PSS. I am not in the least
bit chill. >> Toa, I loved that. >> I love that. >> I hate the story though. I think that I
think ghost >> it was I think it might have been a demon. You think so? Was it the Was it
the door rattling? >> Yeah, it's angry. It's yucka. >> Some ghosts are angry. >> And he was like breathing hot breath on
hot breath. >> Yeah, >> ghosts don't have hot breath. >> That's true. That's a That's a valid
point. >> Diamonds have hot breath. Yeah, I don't [ __ ] with that. We just saw Paranormal
Activity. >> Yeah, >> I I barely had a restful night's sleep since. >> Also, quick little side note,
>> aside, >> if you have not or if you've heard of Paranormal Activity, like the stage
play. >> Yeah. >> And you haven't and you're like, I don't know. >> No, >> I'm not kidding you.
>> Go. >> It is one of the best things I've seen on stage. I think it's incredible. It is
terrifying and so fun. >> Never been. >> This is not an ad. >> It's not an ad. I've never been more
scared in my entire life. Yeah. No, I'm serious and I want everybody to go see it because I think it deserves like all
the hype. >> I keep seeing people and it's like the perfect way to describe it. People are
saying it's the closest they've ever been to like being immersed in a horror film. And I slept with the lights on
that night in my room. >> True. She did. >> I did. And >> honestly, it's been tough for me to
sleep since. >> Yeah. And it's one of those things where you're not sure how like a play can be
that scary. >> Yeah. I didn't know what to expect going into it. >> Go give it a shot. It's well worth it.
So [ __ ] good. We're actually going again. >> Not an ad. >> Yeah, not an ad. >> Just us telling you to do it.
>> All right, next listener. >> That was awesome. I think it was a diamond. >> Yeah. You know what? The more I The more
you said, I I felt compelled by your argument. >> Maybe. >> Oh my god. >> Wait, the picture.
>> That's the most beautiful couple I've ever I'm sorry to anybody else who's ever sent photos in.
>> To my just turned around and said, "What the [ __ ] You guys are the most gorgeous
couple I've ever seen in my life. That feels like AI. You're You're AI pretty. Holy [ __ ]
>> You guys are gorgeous. >> I'm literally zooming in. Look at these faces. I did lowkey zoom into your your
man's chest. Oh, and your >> neck. Look at him. Look at him tendrils. >> That head of hair.
>> Yeah. >> Both of those heads of hair. My god. >> Wow. >> Holy [ __ ] Okay, Tova.
>> Wow. Oh, Tova. >> Damn, girl. >> Wow. Tova and your husband. Holy [ __ ] >> Okay, tail five. The time a ghost took
my body for a ride. And not in a fun way. Aiden literally was just writing something on his notebook and then he
went. I like And not in a fun way. >> And not in a fun. It was not consensual. >> You were wondering.
>> Good morning, spooky hoes. My name is Kale. Like the vegetable but with a C. And you can use it. I'm writing this
from New York City and it feels a little frantic. I legit almost got hit by a car
while walking my dog on Broadway. Like hands on the hood of the car, pushing my dog out of the way and ass out like I
was about to twerk my juicy ass for all of Harlem to see. I didn't do that because it would have caused an
earthquake and we don't need any more buildings falling down in this city. The [ __ ] waffle in the car blamed me even
though my light was on. I shook my fist, yelled back, and begged him to hit me to
get me out of this insane t insane timeline that we find ourselves in. So valid.
>> Are we screaming into the fa into fascism? Who knows? >> Yeah. What did Nicholas say about that?
>> Can you repeat? >> Are we screaming into fascism? Who knows? >> He said, "Say it loud." And now he said,
"For the people in the back." Anyway, I digress. I have been a massive fan of your podcast for 5 years when I started
delivering for Amazon during co. Did he just went e >> knil? >> Neil. >> Neil the seal.
>> Like Neil or the name Neil? >> Like like >> like Neil on your knees. So not the
seal. Damn. >> Okay. You don't have to kneel. Yeah. >> I don't know about that. >> You don't have to do that. Okay. So,
I've been a fan for of your podcast for 5 years when I started uh delivering for
Amazon during CO. Oh my god. CO was that long ago? >> Holy [ __ ] >> I know. >> This must be an older email cuz it was
six years ago now. >> Oh [ __ ] >> A wild timeline. >> Good job math. >> Thank you. I also [ __ ] you. I also got
to see you both at Barnes & Noble in Union Square when you were launching The Butcher and the Ren. And I still have my
signed copy on my shelf. >> We'll be back for The Butcher Game. >> Get your ass there.
>> Come back. >> Uh, I've had a really hard and long 5 years, and listening to your podcast has
really helped me out of those places through your banter and the bond my sister and I have since we both listen
and talk about it. Long story short, I graduated college in 2020 with a music theater degree. Literally went home for
spring break and I never went back to school. Lost all my jobs I'd lined up in the industry since theaters shut down.
Then moved back to my college town, got a dog, met an emotionally manipulative man. Don't we always?
>> Moved to New York City with him. Married that manipulative man. Had some really,
really hard family things happen. Divorced that manipulative man because I'm one strong batty.
>> Hell yeah. >> And I'm now living by Sex in the City, young divorce lifestyle in New York
City. >> Get it, girl. >> I hate most of that for you, but I love who you've become out of it. where
you've ended up. >> Please listen. We are, >> but please listen to us. We love you.
>> Well, uh, financially, I'm struggling TM and I'm chasing my dream of being on
Broadway. I'm single. Post my photo on your Instagram so hot men can see me. >> We'll do.
>> I love you. >> We'll do, babe. >> Divorce is extremely hard, but I was strong enough to stand up for myself
more than I ever have in my entire life. >> Good job. >> When I was sitting in my empty apartment
selling all my [ __ ] to get by, your podcast echoed through the rooms, keeping me company. Elena, you being so
open about your past relationship really helped validate me on how I was being treated. Also, there is an incredible
podcast called Navigating Narcissism by Dr. uh Romani that is absolutely incredible and I think everyone should
listen to it. >> Hey, >> good to know. I know a lot of narcissists. >> Yeah, >> shameless plug. Yeah, we we know a lot
of them. Shameless plug. I also have my own podcast with my best friend called Queer Insight where we talk about all
things queer. We're smart but mighty and always come and always welcome new listeners. Come party.
>> Hell yeah. >> Well, come party. >> I want to come party. >> Hell yeah. >> We're here. We're queer and she's an
ally. >> Ally. An ally. Okay, enough about me, my want for attention and rambling. I
wanted to write in and tell you a wild story that happened to me in a haunted hotel in Chicago, Illinois.
>> Oh, let's go. >> I always want to say Illinois. >> Illinois just looks that way. Okay. So,
to set the scene, every year there are nationwide auditions that happen for college theater programs. What did he
say? >> Definitely. >> There definitely are. >> He's just being a hype man. >> He is. They do them by region. One of
those regions is the good old Midwest where I grew up. Ew. The Midwest region auditions were in Chicago in a hotel
called Palmer House. Have we covered Palmer House? >> I feel like that's familiar.
>> I think I I think I may have picked that one. I'm going to look it up. May maybe
you did. I just remember hearing about it. Attached to this are a couple photos of the Palmer House. Clearly, we need
them. It's absolutely stunning with a really cool history of many performers who have performed there. Louis
Armstrong, Earth Kit, Frank Sinatra, etc. Since it's an old Since it's old and historic, it's haunted as hell. I
think Ghost Adventures did an episode there. Could be wrong, but I'm pretty sure.
>> I bet they did. >> I'm sure they did. If it's haunted in America, they've done it.
>> Yeah. Our college would allow a few students to join them to help run the auditions and chat with parents and
perspective students. I the way I could not say the word perspective. It's hard.
>> I like spit it out. >> It ain't easy. >> Perspective. I'm also trying to zoom cuz
I too am old. >> Now, I am very charming, funny, sexy, and nice. So, I was a perfect fit for
this. >> Let's go. >> I love you, >> Kale. >> Since the divorce, I'm trying to be more
confident in myself, my body, and my personality. Although this came off stronger than anticipated, but I'm going
to leave it because yeah, >> you absolutely should. And Nicholas just said, "Sure,
>> sure. Sure, girl. Get down with your bad self." >> She's hyping you up. >> You know what Ma would say? Beaalupa
baby. She would >> be baala baby. And that means get down with your bad self >> in ma language.
>> In ma I went there with three fellow students. We got food and money every day. Or food money every day. Not food
and money. >> Money every day. We got food plenty every day and we got to go to downtown Chicago for a week. I
love Chicago. >> Chicago. >> Chicago. My best friend lives there and I miss him daily, but I'm happy he's so
happy in a city he loves. Similar to me in New York City. It's so hard to live here as the city tells you to [ __ ] off
on a daily basis. But there really is an energy here. We all stayed in the same room which was just really fun. And some
of that food money may or may not have gone towards some alcohol as well. Maybe. I mean, live. We were there for a
full week and had extremely long days. One of the nights we were there, we started to experience some weird things
happening in our room. The room was pretty big with two queen beds, a TV, dresser, bathroom, closet, etc. I
realize I just described what a normal hotel room looks like, but you get it. My friend, we'll call her Hannah, was
getting ready for bed with the dresser drawer open. This was an older dresser that doesn't have the tracks on the
drawers. Like, you pull it out and it takes some force to close it. It had been open for a solid 20 minutes while
we were all just watching TV. Out of nowhere, the drawer just slammed shut. We all stopped and looked at the drawer.
"Hannah, did you close that?" I asked. "Nope," Hannah responded. "Nope." >> All four of us sat in silence as Hannah
opened the drawer once more, and it very slowly closed in front of our eyes. The
hanger on the wall just started to swing back and forth. All of us were just straight staring forward, stunned in
silence. One of the other girls with us, we'll call her Jamie, said to the room,
"We're sorry we're in your space, but we don't want you here, but we don't want you here, and we're going to bed. Good
night." >> Wow. >> I love that she was like, "I know we're in your space, but you can't be in
>> Sorry we're in your space. We don't want you here. Good night." Okay. >> Hey, Jamie, that was brave.
>> Damn, Jamie. >> Nothing else happened for the rest of the night. The next morning, we were all
telling our professors what happened the night before, and we spent a good 30 minutes sharing ghost stories with one
another over brunch. >> Oh, that sounds fun. >> That does sound fun. I'd like to join.
Not much else happened the rest of the time we were there until the final night. After a very long week, we all
decided to head into the hotel bar for a few drinks. Now, I only had three drinks. Three. I am a thick guy and my
last name in German means intoxication, so I can hold my alcohol. I was tipsy, but not drunk. I remember everything
from that night. That's important to know. We had a great night, paid our check, and headed upstairs to get ready
for bed. We were all very tired, so we settled in quickly and went to sleep. When I awoke, I was walking down the
center of the hallway completely alone. I'm blind as [ __ ] so I had no contacts
in, could not see. Thank god I had clothes on, and I had locked myself out of the room. What's crazy about this is
that in my mind, I was questioning what I was doing, but I couldn't stop myself.
Like, I was questioning why I was doing, but my body was just walking. I also had
to pee. Like, legit so [ __ ] bad. In my mind, I was like, "Oh, the lobby has a bathroom. knock on our door until
someone wakes up, etc., etc. But my body was just walking and couldn't stop. >> What the [ __ ]
>> I started going up the stairs and ended up two floors above where our room was,
still desperately trying to find a bathroom. Desperate times call for desperate measures, and I went into a
stairwell and pissed in the stairwell of this haunted, elegant hotel in downtown
Chicago. Like, did you get roofied? >> The [ __ ] >> Doesn't it kind of feel like that?
>> Does kind of feel like that. After the emptying of my bladder, I started to think a lot more clearly and decided to
head down to the front desk to tell them I got locked out of the room. I still never thought about going back to the
room to knock. I went down to the lobby blind as [ __ ] at 3:00 a.m. and talked to
the front desk, talked to the front desk, telling them I was locked out. They looked at me strangely. Little did
they know what I just did in their stairwell and they told me security would meet me up there. I waited
outside. They let me in and required me to show ID, which I did, and then they left. I went to the bathroom again and
looked at myself in the mirror. I can't explain it, but it felt like I almost came too while looking at myself in the
mirror. I then crawled into bed and went right back to sleep. We woke up the next
morning as if nothing had happened. No one in the room woke up while I left and came back or anything like that. When I
told my friends what happened, they were all shocked and confused. We came up with some theories. Theory one, I dreamt
the whole thing. My friend said maybe when I looked into the mirror, it was me realizing that I was dreaming and it was
just a lucid dream. It explains going to the bathroom in the dream was just me going to the bathroom in real life.
>> Oh, maybe >> I could see it. Theory two, I was just super tired and alcohol mixed with how
tired I was and [ __ ] up my body. Maybe. >> Theory three, my drink was drugged.
>> Yeah, I kind of think so. >> I'm a little worried about that. >> Yeah, I feel like it was. Now, I know
this is really scary to think about and made me sick thinking of all the whatifs,
>> but I was at a table with college girls in a really busy hotel. We all got the
same drinks. Maybe the drink I got was meant for one of them. I have no proof, but like why was I so confused and such?
That is a really scary theory that I try not to think about. >> It is possible. >> Yeah, especially knowing that you were
at a table full of a bunch of college girls. I >> that makes it more likely. >> I unfortunately think it's the most
likely. >> Yeah. >> The fourth and final theory is that the ghost who was hanging out in our room
decided to take my body for a ride to see what they could do. This explains the utter confusion and not being able
to control myself and seeing myself in the mirror was me seeing my body again. >> Oh [ __ ]
>> could be. I do not know which is the real theory and for 7 years this has confused and haunted me. It still really
bothers me and brings up uncomfortable feelings thinking about what could have happened, especially if I actually was
drugged. I've never had something like that happen again, so I just don't know. Maybe I was drugged. Maybe I was
dreaming. Or maybe I was taken over by a pissfilled ghost ready to unleash their
pissy wrath on the city of Chicago. >> You know what? I think that was it. >> That's pretty fun. Yeah,
>> I like a pissy wrath. >> Pissy wrath ghost. >> That's my story and I'm sticking to it.
Another time I'll write in about the haunted movie theater I used to work at in high school where the doors would
slam. We'd hear people walking around, see people sitting in seats that weren't there, would feel like I was being
watched constantly. And one time I saw a little girl walk across the lobby with long black hair.
>> Is she from the ring? Yes, please write about that. >> Damn. >> Thank you for reading and thank you
spooky [ __ ] for bringing joy to my subway rides and making me more aware of my surroundings. Keep it weird, but not
so weird that Take it away, Ash. Not so weird that you're just trying to get away and have a good time with your
girlies and either your drink is drugged or you're overtaken by a a ghost who really wants your body to pee
>> all over a hotel. >> All over a hotel. >> Yeah. >> P.S. I am a tour guide in New York City
where we do historic sightseeing and food tours and I would absolutely love to take y'all on one. Oh, hell yeah.
>> We can be besties and talk about our dogs. I will attach my tourist company website to the email as well as some
photos of the Palmer House, myself, and my gorgeous dog. She is so so so cute, but don't let her looks fool you. She's
a [ __ ] dick. I love her so much, but she's an [ __ ] Bye. >> That's like Bailey.
>> Oh my god, that is Bubba. She was such an [ __ ] She's gorgeous. >> Oh my god, I love it.
>> That's a gorgeous hotel. >> Holy [ __ ] Swear we've covered this. Looking at that old timey picture.
>> We've either covered it. Oh my god, you're the cutest. >> So handsome. Holy [ __ ] Oh, is that your
headsh shot? Cuz that's a really good headsh shot. >> Why is everyone so beautiful?
>> I would kill for dimps. >> Let me see. Oh my god. I love you, dog. >> Beautiful baby.
>> I love you, dog so much. >> What a beautiful baby. >> Oh, another picture. >> Oh, you're just so cute.
>> She's zooming in on you. >> I love it. Oh, you and Angie dog. You dog. You dog. Oh my god, look at all
these pictures. I love them. Oh, you guys. Holy [ __ ] >> You You give the best vacation listener
tales. >> You really do. >> And we're your dad's forever. >> We are. >> All right. So,
we hope you keep listening. >> We hope you >> keep it weird, but not so weird that you don't go on
vacation with your dad and have an alien flamingo good time.

Weirdos! Let's pack up the MORBID family station wagon and get ready to go on a little vacation! This time, Deb has found vacation tales that will have you freaked out AND cackling with laughter. OH! And these tales are BY you FOR you and ALL ABOUT YOU! So, buckle your seatbelt and hold onto your butts, friends! Check out the YOUTUBE version is packed with extra Nicholas footage!

If you’ve got a listener tale please send it to Deb by emailing us at Morbidpodcast@gmail.com with “Listener Tales” somewhere in the subject line, and if you share pictures, please let us know if we can share them with fellow weirdos! :)

Cowritten by Alaina Urquhart, Ash Kelley & Dave White (Since 10/2022) Produced & Edited by Mikie Sirois (Since 2023) Research by Dave White (Since 10/2022), Alaina Urquhart & Ash Kelley Listener Correspondence & Collaboration by Debra Lally Listener Tale Video Edited by Aidan McElman (Since 6/2025) Listener Tale Theme Music licensed from https://www.purple-planet.com Main Theme: Matti Paalanen — Trick or Treat — Provided by Jamendo Ad Music: Title: Artist: BlueJay Studio — Spooky Waltz — Provided by Jamendo

Brief Summary

Listeners share chaotic vacation tales filled with humor and spooky encounters.

Key points

Two Dads on Vacation. The hosts introduce themselves as two dads on vacation, setting a lighthearted tone.
Listener Tales Begin. The hosts dive into listener stories, starting with a humorous tale about falling in a bog.
A Deadly Encounter. A listener recounts witnessing a tragic scene in Glasgow, leading to unexpected laughter.
The Bog Incident. A listener hilariously describes falling into a bog while following a sheep in Scotland.
A Naked Escape. After falling into a bog, a listener hilariously drives back naked to avoid damaging the rental car.
A Runchy Encounter. A hilarious and awkward story about a late-night bathroom emergency at a rest stop.

Episode highlights

Episode quotes

You shouldn't even do that once.

4:58WatchJul 30, 2026

Tension

45/ 100Some tension

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