America's Dumbest Criminals - Season 3, Episode 22 - Whose Got Mail? - Full Episode | Forensic Files

NARRATOR: Tonight on "America's Dumbest Criminals." Ever wonder why that birthday card from your grandma
never arrived? This man seems intoxicated by the power of brandishing a Molotov cocktail.
But that's going to change. And this canine officer has a story to tell, and we think it'd be a mistake to ignore him.
So don't move a muscle, and everything will be just fine for everyone, except for folks we've
dubbed "America's Dumbest Criminals." [music playing] Daniel Butler and Debbie Allen.
-OK, every week we come out here, and you try to put me on the spot. -Moi? -Oh, French.
Oh. Well, this week, though, I'm going to take charge and direct the conversation.
-Oh, no, no, you've been watching Oprah again, haven't you? You made that connection, didn't you?
-No, but our first story involves some pranksters. And I'm just betting that you have pulled more
than your fair share pranks in your life. -Moi? -Tell us some of the things that you've done.
-Well, let's see, I TP'd the neighbor's yard, I blew up something with an M-80. Well, you know, I don't want to talk about it.
You know, just some stuff. Have you pulled any pranks? -No. Well, I think I'm typically on the receiving end of pranks,
because I really feel for the victims. -Yeah, I know. They sometimes-- they don't turn out
to be as funny as you thought they would be, you know? -No. I know that's true. But I hope the guys in our first story
would agree that they went out for a night of firing paintball guns at unsuspecting people on the streets of Los Angeles,
and that is not funny. -Nuh-uh. But as you're about to see, their prank backfired on them in a big way.
And that is funny. They will most definitely caught on camera. [music playing] -Oh!
Yeah. DANIEL: Yeah, it's just an eye on the town for two real wusses whose idea of a big time is to hit
unsuspecting pedestrians with paintball pellets. Note how much fun they seem to be having as again
and again they fire on defenseless people from the safety of their moving vehicle.
-Goodnight. [yelling] [laughter] -Oh, yeah, these are real tough guys. But now let's leave this homemade video of what they
call fun for which the police refer to as evidence to gain a different perspective.
Having fun now, boys? [applause] Oh yeah. -How do you manage to lose a shoe during a break in?
Well, our next crook knows. -Yeah, we doubt that this Cinder-fella rode in a carriage
made from a pumpkin, and we can't say if he had an evil stepmother. But he certainly provided a distinctive clue
police used to discover his identity. -Now this is no fairytale, but it is something to remember me by.
[music playing] -There was one particular incident that happened here in Annapolis about six months ago.
One of our neighborhood watch block captains, who was very attentive, found a gentleman breaking
into his next door neighbor's house. When he did that, he properly called the police department for assistance.
When they got to the house, they trapped the suspect inside of the house. And as they were surrounding the house,
he continued to run through rooms, and through the basement, and the second floor,
trying to find some sort of escape. Finally he decided he was just going to take a shot for it.
And he took off out the back door. Of course, the officers were there also, and they started running after him.
Suspect continued running through the neighborhood, jumping over fences and everything else
with officers trying to find him. The only problem was the only thing they got of him was the shoe that he left behind.
Based on the fact that he left his one slipper behind, I dubbed the gentleman, Cinder-fella.
-I have heard this story about Cinder-fella, the shoeless burglar. It was a pretty interesting story to cover, especially
when the public information officer from the police department dubbed him Cinder-fella.
CAPTAIN ZORA LYKKEN: Officers and detectives were able to identify the individual by that evening.
And we were able to get an arrest warrant for him. Based on the arrest warrant, we got in touch
with his parole and probation officer. She in turn knew that she had an appointment
for seeing him the next day. And when he showed up for his appointment, we nabbed him.
Did the shoe fit? Yes, it did. [applause] -One of the messages we try to convey on this show
is that crime will get you nowhere fast. -You might start out with life in the fast lane,
but you'll end up in a mess as these next these find out. -Now to show you just how unglamorous life on the run
can be, I'll do the play-by-play on this chase for you right here. [music playing]
Well, it's another day of catch me if you can as the two ill-advised car thieves take on the entire LA police force.
As you can see, they're driving along, sweating bullets, wishing they had a cloaking device,
because it's just kind of hard to hide a bright red Cadillac. Notice the pattern that's going to develop
as the challengers begin to lose their cool. Here we see a right turn and a squeeze play.
That seemed to loose the fenders. That's gonna cost them. Let's move along the action a little.
Here's that right turn we've been talking about. And now they're going for a new strategy, running on foot.
Ouch! Watch that bar! Now they're going into the open-- but that's not really working all that well for them,
looking for a hole, looking for a hole to grow into. There is that right turn again, way too predictable,
and another right, just one play in their playbook, go figure. I think they sense that someone' on to them.
They come out of trees, looking for an opening. But all they see is this hulking helicopter overhead.
They're doubling back, doubling back. It didn't work before, why should it work now?
I don't know. Oh, hello, officer. It's all over. They're down. They're down. No score.
End of game, guys. And no rematch. [laughter] [applause] In Florida, it is illegal to sing in a public place
while wearing a swimsuit. OK. Going postal, it's a phrase that's used so much that it's
worked its way into common vernacular. Maybe it's depressing to be around all those dead letters,
I don't know. At any right, we've got a story about a couple of postal workers who were making
special deliveries to their own pockets. Take a look. [music playing] If your birthday card from Aunt Jane isn't delivered on time,
it's not necessarily slow mail service. Just as the postal inspector thought, this guy just couldn't resist those brightly colored greeting
cards that often contain cash, like the ones that were planted for this sting. -You're under arrest for theft of mail.
-For what? -For theft of mail, all right? -Got any proof? DANIEL: There's proof all right, cards stuffed in this drinking
cup and market bills in his pocket. This mailman has a lot to sort out. Now this postal worker appearing out of uniform
was not fooling around with greeting cards. He was after the big stuff. While at work sorting mail, he intercepted two boxes
containing a computer and a television. Then he placed these swell-looking labels
with his address over the real labels. The man in uniform is really a postal inspector
who made the arrest on the spot. -OK, sir, you're under arrest for theft of mail
for those two parcels that were just delivered here. [applause] -In our travels across the country,
we have talked to a lot of people about the goofs that crooks make. But we've never recorded an interview quite
like the one you're about to see. To see at unleash commentary about this, we go to a real news hound.
[music playing] -A call came out of a window being open or possibly a burglary. Apparently the suspect had called it into us originally.
I was only a couple blocks away. When I talked to him, he said he'd just been walking by
and the window just busted open when he was walking by. He thought it was the wind that blew it open,
and so he called the police. I got his name and his information, and he went on his way.
And now I tried to get a hold of an owner, and we couldn't find one. And so we called a board up company
to come up and just board up the window. And I parked just about 15, 20 feet away .
And here comes the guy walking back up. He stops in front of the window, looks around both ways,
looks inside, and apparently he didn't see me. I was just sitting a few feet away.
But he climbs in the window, and he was wrapping up a radio and stacking it by the window.
And he went in the refrigerator and was taking out food and eating food and stuff.
So when I called to him, told him to come on out, he ducked down and tried to hide, like he wasn't there,
like we didn't already see him. And so I had Bullet with me, my police dog. Bullet really tells the story better than I do.
Just a few moments after Bullet was barking real loud that the guy came out was not interested in tangling
with the dog at all. [applause] -Coming up later, if a man is holding a Molotov cocktail,
it sure isn't happy hour. And now with news that spells job security for everybody
in law enforcement, here's Daniel with ADC headlines. [music playing] -In a vain attempt to escape from police,
a 19-year-old suspect smashed a window and entered a building that was headquarters
for a dog training school. Obviously, the canine had spotted him was at the top of his class.
It cornered the suspect and kept him at bay until police arrived, all without laying
a tooth on the guy. Good job, Lassie. A petty thief in Sunnyvale, California, had perfected his crime.
He would use a credit card to jimmy open the back door for residence, slip inside, quickly grab
a few valuables, and be on his way. But he got in too much of a hurry one day and left his credit card at the scene of the break in.
Apparently, you shouldn't leave anyone's home without it, you know? The two guys seemed baffled that they would get stopped
by California highway patrolman. I mean, after all, they were only do 50 miles an hour, ah,
but it wasn't the matter of speed. It was a matter of style, because you see they were having trouble with the gas pedal.
One was behind the wheel, while the other one was under the hood working the carburetor control.
You know, I'm thinking he got a little overheated. And that closes the file on ADC headlines,
news ripped from somewhere near the back of your local newspaper. Debbie? [applause]
-It takes a guy with bubbles for brains to concoct a Molotov cocktail. And when you see the cavalier way he treats this little bomb,
you can see that he's headed for much more than a hangover. -We had a gentleman that attempted
to set his apartment on fire. Couldn't do that, tried three times. Would up going outside with the device
that resembled a Molotov cocktail. -I was driving to work, witnessed a young man
with a lighter, standing in front of an apartment complex. JIM ULRICH: While he was lighting this device
and attempting to throw it at the building, a civilian drove by, told him to stop what he was going.
This shook the guy so much he wound up spilling some of the flammable liquid on himself.
-Lobbed it out onto the lawn. Lawn took off on fire. He moved-- he was on fire. He put himself out and he came running at my truck.
JIM ULRICH: Foot pursuit started where he ran away and the civilian attempt to run down with his pickup truck.
-I dumped her in low, and the pursuit started. OFFICER TODD RENNER: As I responded into that area,
I got to an intersection and noticed several people running around. TIM WALKER: Jumping the curbs, fishtailing
JIM ULRICH: Police officers arrived on scene with the civilian chasing him. TIM WALKER: There was times I had his head right
up by the window, was trying to reach and grab his hair. -He was so afraid of what the civilian might do,
he ran over, jumped into the police car. TIM WALKER: So I chased him, hard. Scared him, big time.
JIM ULRICH: I couldn't understand much of what he was saying, but I did hear him say that his legs were burning
and that possibly he'd be on fire. -I thought that was the easiest thing I'd ever done.
JIM ULRICH: And the police officer, smelling the gasoline, not aware of what was going on, just
asked him to leave right off the bat. -I told him to get out of my car and go wait on the corner.
I still had to go look for my suspect. -Little mix up on communication. -He drove around the corner and was
flagged down by some witnesses. You had him. You had him. I said, who'd I have? He said, that's guy.
He was throwing firebombs at the building. That time I realized that I had just put my suspect out on the corner.
-Another brief chase went on, and then eventually captured him in a parking lot.
-But this time he decided he didn't quite want us to save him by jumping into my car again.
This time he wanted to fight. -I'm gonna burn you guys. Hey! What are you doing?
Oh! Oh! Don't! -Fight was on. We got him into custody without too much incident.
And that was about the end of it. TIM WALKER: We got it, and it was well worth it.
-Well, the mother-daughter relationship can get ugly. But when a daughter sticks up for her mom,
it's a beautiful thing, as this officer finds out the hard way. Let's saddle up and head on out to Sandy, Utah.
-It was one sunny summer day a few years ago. I was out running radar in a neighborhood,
looking for speeders. This lady came by and was traveling a little bit over the speed limit.
So I proceeded to pull her over. She stopped in her driveway. And as she pulled in, she opened her garage door.
As I got out of my car and started to approach, I noticed that her daughter got out and ran into the garage.
I think you're going a little bit fast down there. Not thinking a whole bunch about it, I came out.
The woman got out of the car. We started talking. All of a sudden, the little girl dressed in a cowboy outfit
comes running out of the garage with a rope and starts tying me up. And she's screaming, don't worry, Mommy!
They're not going to take you to jail. I'll save you. So in about 30 seconds, I'm standing there
with my ticket book in my hand. My legs are tied together. I can't move. Mom's laughing.
I'm laughing. It was actually pretty cute. Oh my gosh. I'm had. Which is very unique to have a situation like that occur,
where you pull somebody over. It seems like just a typical day, a typical traffic stop.
And here's this little cowgirl, all dressed up, runs in and gets her rope, and ties up the bad policeman that's
gonna try to take her mommy away. It was probably one of the best traffic stops I've ever made.
I ended up letting her go. I never wrote her a ticket. And it was fun, good experience.
[applause] [music playing] -You know, the book of Proverbs says a righteous man fall seven times, but he gets up.
How many goof-ups does a criminal nitwit make before he doesn't rise again? In this case, plenty.
-Oh yeah. This thief picked a poor target for a break in, took the hard way in, and found
it even harder getting out. -If you didn't hear this from a police officer, you might not believe us.
And that's why we filed it in the department we call, We're Not Making This Up. [music playing]
We got a disturbance call in a residential area. About 3 o'clock in the morning, there
was neighbors that were being awakened by some guy that was screaming for help. They didn't know where it was coming from,
but all they knew was that somebody was yelling for help, and they wouldn't stop.
I came into the area, rolled my windows down, and I could clearly hear a guy yelling, help!
Help me! Started walking around the neighborhood, and slowly I was able to determine
it was coming from in between two houses. So finally I started yelling myself. Where are you at?
And the guy says, I'm in here! I'm looking around, and I don't see where he could possibly be.
So I say, you're in where? And he says, I'm in the chimney! So I climbed on top of the roof of the house.
I walked over to the chimney. And I looked down into the chimney, and there I saw him.
He was about 15 feet down in the chimney. He was curled up in a little ball. He was covered in black soot.
And I looked at him, and I said, what are you doing in there? He just said, I was trying to get into the house
and I'm stuck. So you need to get me out of here. -When I got there, I saw his car,
but I couldn't find Phil anywhere. -I said, Phil, where you at? And I look up, and I see him on top of the roof the house.
And I said, well, what's going on, man? And he said, well, I get this guy stuck done in this chimney.
I tried and tried to get this guy out, but I couldn't, so I finally had to call the fire department.
The fire department came out. They tried a couple different things to get him out
of the chimney, and they were unable to. -Nothing was working. OFFICER PHILIP S. BLACK: So they called the heavy rescue people
who came out, and they figured the only way they could get this guy as a chimney was to go ahead and use
sledge hammers and jackhammers. -I'm talking a really big jack hammer. -And the homeowner showed up and asked me what was going on.
And I told him somebody was trying to break into his house. He said, why would anybody want to break into the house?
It's vacant. There's nothing in there for him to steal. And in addition to that, he said,
all of the windows in the back of the house had broken locks. After five and a half hours of the fire department trying
to get this guy out of the chimney, they were finally able to get a large enough hole
that this guy could climb out. And then we were actually able to see the guy that was in the chimney.
He was a black male about in his late '20s. The firefighters brought a hose over, began to spray him off.
And after about 20 minutes of him cleaning himself off with the hose, he realized that he wasn't a black guy,
that he was actually a white guy. -It's a white guy! -So this guy spent five and a half hours stuck in a chimney.
-I mean, he was way down in there. OFFICER PHILIP S. BLACK: Trying to break into a house that was a vacant.
-And there was absolutely nothing to steal. -If you ask me, the guy was-- -Really dumb.
-Dumb. -A lot like the house, the lights are on, but nobody's home. [applause] -Oh yeah.
-Poor guy. -Great story though. Well, we're out of time for tonight, but we're glad you rode shotgun with us tonight.
-Join us again next week, because there's more dumb to come as we chronicle the misadventures of more crooks.
-If you've got a lead on a story or you just can't wait until next week for more state of the art
stupidity, visit our website at www.dumbcrimes.com -You do that so well. -Thank you.
-Before we go, we want to thank everybody who helped us with tonight's show. The officers did a fine job for us tonight.
But they do a great job by keeping us safe each day. We appreciate them and others like them.
-Absolutely, and you and I would be nowhere without them, quite frankly. -You've got that right.
As always, we hope that we've all learned from others' mistakes. -But if you haven't, we just might see you next week
on "America's Dumbest Criminals." -Goodbye. [applause] [music playing]

In this episode of “America’s Dumbest Criminals,” we’ll witness a mailman hungry for birthday cards, a man intoxicated by his molotov cocktail and a canine officer with a story that’d be a mistake to ignore.

Crime is no laughing matter, except when the criminals are bumbling fools. Hosted by Debbie Alan and Daniel Butler, this show looks at lawbreakers through a humorous lens.

Brief Summary

This episode highlights dumb criminals including paintball pranksters, a shoeless burglar, and a failed arsonist.

Key points

Cinder-fella: The Shoeless Burglar. A burglar leaves behind a shoe during a break-in, leading to his capture.
Molotov Cocktail Mishap. A man trying to throw a Molotov cocktail ends up setting himself on fire.
The Traffic Stop Gone Wrong. A little girl ties up a police officer during a traffic stop to protect her mom.

Episode highlights

Episode quotes

Crime will get you nowhere fast.

NARRATOR's message about the consequences of crime

5:22WatchMar 3, 2022

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