America's Dumbest Criminals - Season 1, Episode 12 - Buck Naked - Full Episode | Forensic Files

DANIEL BUTLER: This is an ADC warning. The crimes you're about to see are true. Only the names were changed to protect the ignorant.
[sirens] [music playing] DANIEL BUTLER: Tonight on "America's Dumbest Criminals,"
you'll see a flasher who falls asleep on the job, our shoplifting film fest, and a drug deal that goes wrong,
then goes right. These are just a few of "America's Dumbest Criminals." Welcome to "America's Dumbest Criminals."
I'm Daniel Butler. In terms of sheer intellectual power, street smarts, savvy, and plain old common sense, the criminals on our show
have very little. Let's take a look now inside the empty minds of America's dumbest criminals.
Our first case comes to us from Captain Rick Bilyeu in Las Vegas, Nevada. -We had gotten information that there were some prostitutes
working out of a, a pizza parlor, a local pizza parlor. And we'd gotten their number and we'd uh, set up
and arranged a, a date where they would come to the hotel and provide their services for a fee.
But we had to consummate the actual face to face solicitation. So they came to the door.
Unbeknownst to us, they also had worked the streets and immediately looked at the three of us, pointed to the one
and said, "You're a police officer." And we said uh, "No, no, we're not police officers.
We're from San Diego. We're just here on a convention." "No, no. You're a police officer."
And she had her friend with her, there were two. And, and they had pointed this, this one younger officer out.
And uh, "I know you're a police officer." The uh, third officer and myself started
telling this prostitute, "No, he's our nephew. We're all from San Diego. We're here on a convention."
And she was persistent. And then at one point, she gave his name, because he had arrested her in the past.
And we thought, oh boy, we've had it now. Not only does she know he's a police officer,
but she knows him by name. "No, no. I know you. You're Office So-and-so and I know you.
You've arrested me before." "No, I'm not gonna party and I'm not gonna date with you.
I'll date with you two guys, but I'm not gonna date with you." MAN: [laughs] -And she actually made us uh, have him leave the room.
And then, then she went ahead with the solicitation. We arrested her. MAN: [laughs]
-And-- her and her partner. [sirens] DANIEL BUTLER: And now, Sergeant Earnest Burt
tells us about a cold blooded robber. -One time we was, uh, [inaudible] one on a guy that
had been breaking in cars in the western part of town. So we got there and the mother said uh, he wasn't there.
And we looked over the house, and we looked over the house, and we kept looking.
You know, we followed each other around, make sure each go in the room. And I went back in the back in the kitchen.
I went to this room and I look and look. You know, you get that gut feeling somebody's in here.
And I looked and looked and I couldn't find the guy nowhere. And I looked up at the wall and I saw a little section
there was left open to this old, in deep freezer again. We had been there about 20 minutes
then looking for the guy. So I went to jump on the deep freezer, then something say,
wait a minute. I step in front of the deep freezer and I looked at it. And I opened it up and there he is,
squat down in the deep freezer. -[laughs] -[shivering] -If he had been there about another-- we'd have stayed
about another 20 minutes or so, he, he might not have got out of there. His skin had already started to turn
ashy-white like when we got him. And when I got him, I put the handcuffs on him, he was cold!
DANIEL BUTLER: And thus, the dumb criminalcicle was born. And now, actual surveillance cam footage
we call "Attention Shoplifters." Folks, if you haven't figured it out yet, there are surveillance cameras everywhere.
Cameras that can zoom. Cameras that can pan. Cameras that will follow you everywhere you go.
Like these two ladies, who just happen to be stealing buttons from designer blouses.
We assume they just need to replace buttons on their blouses. And we all know how expensive buttons are.
Now let's see who's over in this side of the store. Hmm, another shopper who's trying to find her size.
No, she's just trying to find the opening to her shopping bag, where she places the garment she just stole.
Even Grandma is switching price tags on towels, thinking no one is watching. But folks, the camera is watching you.
Coming up on "America's Dumbest Criminals," a prowler who concealed more than a weapon.
DANIEL BUTLER: And now an undercover officer discovers just how gullible a dumb criminal can be.
-I guess one of my dumbest clients that I ever did business with, we were uh, buying crack cocaine.
Uh, we had called the guy's pager. He had returned the call, made the agreement uh, to meet us.
So we get-- the guy shows up and uh, he wants me to prove who I am. I reach in my back pocket to get my wallet that
has my uh, identification, and I'd gotten the wrong wallet. When I opened it up, my police identification card was there.
And of course, it has the word police. It has the, the badge uh, in the thing with my photo.
He looked at it, he says, "No, man. You're a cop." And I said, "No. Hell, that's my identification in case I lose my wallet."
"Oh, OK. Well, I sure hope you're not the cop." [laughs] So I bought $100 worth of crack cocaine off him,
sent him to jail. [laughs] -And now you know the arrest of the story. [sirens] DANIEL BUTLER: In Georgia, it used to be against the law
to slap someone on the back. But it was, and still is, legal to give somebody a swift kick in the rear.
And now inside the courtroom for Trial and Error. On the stand, a teller explains how
she was issued a holdup note. -Miss Reed, you claim my client flashed a holdup note,
quickly grabbed some cash, and sprinted from the room. -Yes, he did. -Well, if everything happened so quickly, at what point were you
able to positively identify my client? -When he handed me the holdup note, it was written on the back of a subpoena.
Issued in his name. [gavel bangs] DANIEL BUTLER: Next, Captain Annetta Nunn gets help from the Red Army to make an arrest.
-We received a call of loud music complaint. And we were riding the area, we didn't hear any loud music.
So we told dispatch we didn't hear anything, we were still riding. And we passed a house and we heard glass breaking,
and we saw these males run out of the house and take off the side of the house. So we pulled up and I took off running after them.
And Diana kinda lost me. I finally got on the radio and told her where I was and to come across.
And I told her, I said, "These guys, they ran over here. They went around the side of the house."
So we were about to split up. She was going one direction, I was going the other
around the side of the house. All of a sudden, we heard bushes moving. -Get out of the bushes!
CAPTAIN ANNETTA NUNN: So we said, they're over here. And we went around the side of the house
and the guy was balled up on the side. He was like, laying on the ground. But he was laying in an ant bed.
MAN: [laughs] -And that's what made him start moving. Ants were covering him. -Put your hands on top of your head!
Put your hands on top of your head! Spread your legs. Do it now! Spread your legs!
Man, what's your problem? Why are you itching? -I got ants! -He's got ants all over him.
FEMALE OFFICER: Put your hands on top of your head! CAPTAIN ANNETTA NUNN: So he had to stand
til we got through searching him. And these ants, I mean, he's just trying to get them off of him.
But I guess if he hadn't moved, we might not have seen him balled up in no bushes.
But the ants got him. -A new twist on taking a bite out of crime. And now, more actual surveillance
cam footage of shoplifters at work. The camera is watching, folks. Do you remember the television show
where you won a shopping spree in a store? Well, these shoplifters think they must've
won that, blatantly stuffing clothes into their purses and bags. Now what's over on this side of the store?
Ah, a teenager who's decided take the five finger discount on a pair of headphones.
People, the surveillance cameras are watching you. You will get caught, and you will do time.
These men are not rushing out to tell these ladies to have a nice day. Thanks to surveillance cameras, shoplifting
is the dumbest crime of all. Next up, Sergeant Paul Heaton tells us about a drug deal on wheels.
-We went down there, and while we were there, we noticed an individual about a half
a block away in a wheelchair. We recognized him as a known drug dealer. So we thought we'd go down and just speak to him,
say hello, let him know we were in the neighborhood. Well, he was in a wheelchair, keeping in mind,
because the previous week he had accidentally shot himself in the foot with a shotgun while cleaning it.
And so he had to be a wheelchair for a couple weeks. So we're gonna walk up to him, say hello.
Soon as he sees us start toward him, he throws something down on the ground on the corner
and starts to casually wheel away. So we walked up behind him and pulled his chair over.
-I didn't drop nothing. -You didn't drop it, huh? Let's see what we have in here.
Oh my goodness! Crack cocaine! -I don't know what you talking about, man. SERGEANT PAUL HEATON: Is this yours, by chance?
-What you want to hassle me for, man? SERGEANT PAUL HEATON: I think this is yours, isn't it?
-I ain't never seen it before. SERGEANT PAUL HEATON: Is that uh, your name on this bottle?
-Oh man! SERGEANT PAUL HEATON: [laughs] -It seems that because of that self-inflicted gunshot wound,
the doctor had issued a prescription to him for pain. And still affixed to the bottle was the prescription label
with his name and address on it. MAN: [laughing] DANIEL BUTLER: This was one dumb criminal
who was downright dumb. In Pennsylvania, you have better odds of winning the state
lottery than of ever been paroled if serving a life sentence. In fact, the odds would be better
at a cross dressing monkey motocross race. Coming up, a dumb criminal takes a nap in his birthday suit
on "America's Dumbest Criminals." [sirens and music playing] DANIEL BUTLER: In our next story,
an undercover officer tells us the bare facts of a case we call "Buck Naked." -I was dispatched to a man exposing himself.
Myself and another female officer arrived at the scene and we found a gentleman sitting in his car asleep
outside of a convenience store uh, with no clothes on. Um, we approached the vehicle, knocked on the window
and woke him up. [knocking] -Wake up, sir! [knocking] -Roll down the window. Hello, sir.
What is your name? What's your name, sir? -I'm sorry? -What is your name? Good morning.
-Bob Franklin. -Bob Franklin. Bob, OK. Where's your clothes? -I'm sorry. I, I don't have any clothes on.
I-- -We can see that. You realize we're gonna have to take you in for indecent exposure?
FEMALE UNDERCOVER OFFICER: The gentleman asked uh, can I put my clothes on? And I, I looked in the vehicle, all
I saw were his shoes and socks sitting on the floorboard of the passenger side. And I explained to him I didn't think
that was gonna make too much difference. MAN: [laughs] -Uh, he then told me that his clothes
were stuffed between the two seats. -Uh yeah, I keep these in my seat. Mainly so nobody'll take them.
FEMALE UNDERCOVER OFFICER: Uh, we're, you're safe now. Your clothes are safe with us.
-I allowed him to put some clothes on. FEMALE UNDERCOVER OFFICER: Could you, can you move around in the car maybe to get it?
I don't want to mess up your, your little outfit there. OK. FEMALE UNDERCOVER OFFICER: Placed him under arrest,
transported him down to the jail. FEMALE UNDERCOVER OFFICER: I don't know if that's a good--
-We don't have that many flashers fall asleep on the job. DANIEL BUTLER: Once again, case closed
on another dumb criminal. ADC quiz number 324. In Italy, a man riding on a motorcycle
was accused of purse snatching. He was positively identified by one of his victims.
Was his victim A, a nun? B, his mother? Or C, his probation officer? The correct answer is B. She recognized him because he was
wearing her purse as his disguise. And now more actual surveillance cam footage of dumb criminals shopping.
Folks, it doesn't matter where you shop or whom you are. And it doesn't matter how nonchalantly you go about it.
If you shoplift, you will be caught on tape and you will be caught. Like this lady stealing picture frames.
Everywhere in the store, the camera can follow you. And everywhere in the store, people are shoplifting.
These two boys have picked up a watch. Hmm, it'll fit into our pocket, so why should we pay?
They pocket the expensive watch and start out of the store. Then the alarms start to sound.
There are alarms everywhere. Detectors everywhere. Sensors on every garment. Invisible strips you can't even see on every item.
And the camera is always watching. In Nebraska, it used to be against the law for barbers
to shave chests. And yet it is legal to give a monkey a manicure if he had a shave and a perm.
Undercover narcotics is dangerous work. You've got to be ready for anything. Having dealt with drug dealers before,
Officer Dan Leger knew the unpredictable breed could be both mean and touchy-feely.
Officer Leger's on the right and he's about to do a drug deal for crack cocaine when the dumb dealer decides to frisk him.
-I, I ain't got no ears, man! -You don't got no ears? Hey man, you're a cop! -Aw man, listen!
Check this out! Listen-- -Hey man, I don't want to deal with you, man. -My lawyer told me to get this. My lawyer--
-Your lawyer? -Yeah! Listen, my lawyer told me to get this. That way, you can record it all and prove entrapment.
No, check it out! It's new, man. You should get one of these too. DANIEL BUTLER: The undercover cop told the dealer
where to get a wire and gave him tips on how to wear it. Officer Leger even played the recording for the dumb criminal
a short time later in a court of law, just before the dealer was found guilty. -We can work a deal.
-All right, man. I'll make a deal with that. -All right. DANIEL BUTLER: And now he's the only
dumb criminal wearing a wire in prison. [sirens and music playing] [sirens and music playing]
-Our final story tonight comes to ADC from Officer Steve Turner of the Nashville Police Department.
Let's find out what happened when a cat burglar curled up for a cat nap in "Junior Meets the Sandman."
-I got a call that uh, the house had been broken into. The neighbor who was watching the uh,
lady's house who was gone out of town. DANIEL BUTLER: This was a house burglar's dream come true.
A woman leaving town, an open house with no one home. Let's go inside the dumb criminal mind
for this house burglary. Hmm, I'll just pry open this door and I'm ollie-ollie home free.
Ha, here. Here we go. Ah hey, that was easy. All right. Hmm, let's see. Ooh, a nice stereo!
I can get a lot for this at the pawn shop. And a ladies watch! Hey, my girlfriend will love this.
Hmm, let's see if there's anything in this mug. No, but wait. What's this? Ah, cash money.
Is this a great day or what? Oh and look! A color TV! I can get at least $100 for this at the pawn shop.
Mmm, you know, I'm getting kinda hungry. Let's see what's in the fridge. Ah, a whole broasted chicken.
That'll be perfect. And maybe some ice tea with that. No, better have the cranberry juice.
You know what my doctor said. -After he had checking all the rooms out and taken what he wanted, then he
decided just to take him a little plate and go upstairs and look at the television for a little while.
DANIEL BUTLER: [yawns] Ah, see what's down here. I could take a shower. Ah, I'll do that later.
You know, a nap would be good. Oh my, that bed's kinda small. I don't know. I-- oh!
King size! Ah, now this is nice. [chuckles] Hey, and it-- wait a minute. It's a, it's a water bed!
Great! Ooh, and she's got cable! [laughs] Is this a swell job or what? [yawns] Think I'll just lie down and watch a little tube.
Yeah, I can get the TV and the stereo and all that other stuff after I watch a little TV.
Eh, maybe I'll just take a little nap. Boy, being a house burglar sure is a [yawns] a swell job.
[yawns] Junior, her flight was canceled. She's back! And she brought friends! OFFICERS: Junior, wake up!
-Uh, he just said, "Oh man, I just, just was tired." [laughs] He said he was tired!
So I guess, guess he had a long day. [laughs] -And with that, we come to the end of another show.
Our continued thanks to police officers across the nation for their stories. I'm Daniel Butler saying, don't be dumb.
Don't break the law. So long. [music playing]

In this episode of "America's Dumbest Criminals," we'll witness a flasher who falls asleep on the job, a shoplifting film fest and a drug deal that goes wrong, then goes right.

Crime is no laughing matter, except when the criminals are bumbling fools. Hosted by Debbie Alan and Daniel Butler, this show looks at lawbreakers through a humorous lens.

Brief Summary

This episode showcases absurd stories of dumb criminals, including a flasher who falls asleep and a burglar caught napping.

Key points

Dumb Criminals on the Job. A series of hilarious and absurd criminal encounters.
The Deep Freezer Robber. A robber hides in a deep freezer and nearly freezes to death.
Ants Save the Day. A suspect hiding in bushes gets discovered because of ants.
The Naked Flasher. An undercover officer finds a man asleep in his car, naked.
Junior Meets the Sandman. A burglar takes a nap in a house he broke into, only to be caught.

Episode highlights

Episode quotes

You're a police officer.

A prostitute identifies an undercover cop.

1:51WatchDec 2, 2021

Tension

30/ 100Low tension

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