America's Dumbest Criminals - Season 3, Episode 19 - Sticky Fingers - Full Episode | Forensic Files

NARRATOR: Tonight on "America's Dumbest Criminals." Right now do you suppose this fleeing criminal is thinking,
"Dang, I must have missed my exit!" Watch as we deliver a story about a pizza box
that works like a boomerang to tag its sticky fingered owner. And some misguided fellows who turn themselves
in when they make a very wrong turn. Stay right where you are. You're on the trail of a good time
as we round up a posse to go after "America's Dumbest Criminals." [police radio]
[music playing] [sirens] [music playing] -Duh. NARRATOR: Now, welcome your hosts for "America's Dumbest
Criminals," Daniel Butler and Debbie Alan. -[laughs] Hi there! -What'd you think of that guy in the opening?
-Which guy? -The guy that was in the car that sailed through the trees and off the 50 foot drop.
-Oh man! I can't imagine what was going through his mind! -Tree branches, I think.
-[laughs] Daniel! -No, not really. He must have had nine lives, because he comes out of that OK.
You'll, you'll see later. -Yeah, it's pretty incredible. You ever had any creative driving
experiences like that guy? -Not really. Once I swerved to miss a chipmunk and hit a deer.
-[gasps] Oh man! -It was a bad trade off. But how about you? -Oh, I was in the car with my husband
and he ran into our neighbor's mailbox. -Aw, but you caused that. -Re-landscaped the whole yard!
No! No! -You must have caused it. -He was looking at one of the kids. -All right.
Well, forget your husband. Let's get on with the criminals du jour. DEBBIE ALAN: [laughs] OK.
-Our first story involves a different crook on the run, who runs out of gas, then runs on foot.
But he runs out of luck and possibly runs up a little bit of a hospital bill. -We're running out of time! [laughs]
DANIEL BUTLER: I'm sorry. I'm running! -Let's drop in on this guy in Anaheim, California who discovers that fences
are usually there for a reason. He drops 50 feet, but he's still caught on camera.
[siren] -What we had was a case where officers were basically trying to pull a guy over for traffic violations.
Nothing really big. The guy decided to take off. It progressed into a pursuit with several
of our units involved, and our helicopter was right over. Our units, uh, just backed off, gave
him a long leash to let him run. Something happened to his car and it couldn't go no more.
So he pulls over the side and sees the helicopter, sees the flashing lights in the distance rapidly approaching,
opens his front door, runs out of his car around the front and then jumps over the guardrail.
Only problem is he's over the top of the Santa Ana River. And here in California, our rivers
don't have much water in any time of the year, let alone during the middle of the summer.
Well, he proceeds to drop almost 50 feet down to the river bed. Our officers just could look and shake their head,
and at that point, we just called the paramedics. Well, the good part is that he is recovering nicely.
And I'll tell you what. He'll look twice before he leaps next time. -He sure will!
-Yeah, buddy. Who would have thought that a pizza would provide the evidence needed to put this purse snatcher in his place?
-No, the crime lab didn't dust pepperoni for prints or send the anchovies in for DNA testing. [laughs]
-But they could have, if they wanted to. Police officers found a much easier way
though to sink this deep dish aficionado into very deep trouble. Any way you slice it, this guy deserved
to be picked up by the department we call "Something to Remember Me By." -Several months ago, our department
was involved in a, uh, rather quick investigation because the activities of the criminal was a crime that uh,
attracts a lot of attention. It's a sign today's crime committed against an elderly person.
It was a purse snatching against a, an older lady in our community. She was accosted by an individual in a parking lot,
had her pocketbook uh, snatched from her. Individual ran, pushed the lady down, left the scene.
Short while later, another of our officers observed an individual somewhat fitting the same
description running along with a big red uh, paper bag in his hand. Ran by a dumpster.
As he jogged by, he tossed it over the top of the dumpster. Because this individual more or less fit the description
of the person we were looking for, the uh, the investigating officer went back to check the dumpster, see if there was any correlation
between what was thrown in the dumpster. Uh, going inside the dumpster, he found only one red paper bag inside.
Inside that bag, he found the pocketbook with the uh, contents belonging to the, the victim,
the elderly lady-- uh, her driver's license, ID. And along with that, found a pizza box.
And on the pizza box was the name, address, and telephone number of our suspect.
When our officers went to the address indicated on the pizza delivery box, knocked on the front door,
an individual, uh, guy fit the same description of the suspect opened the door, still sweaty and out of breath
from having run back to the apartment. And sure enough, he was the suspect in the case.
-All right, here's the story we were talking about earlier, or at least the first part.
-Yep. It's a car chase, a spectacular stunt, a stunning survival, and more. It sounds like "Lethal Weapon 5,"
but you won't find Mel Gibson here. No, just a road warrior who takes things off the road
until he decides to hit the street in a very big way. Watch. NARRATOR: You could call him the Ever Ready Bunny of robbers,
because he keeps going and going. And, as you'll see in a moment, why you could also call
him Robocrook, or just one lucky guy. Police officers in pursuit know that this man is armed,
so they're very careful to avoid endangering others on this Los Angeles freeway.
But he seems to be up to something. Maybe stopping, uh, maybe taking the off ramp?
No, he goes for the off off ramp! End of story? No, this cliffhanger is hardly over.
[applause] [music playing] NARRATOR: Hey, check out this dumb law. In Connecticut, you can be stopped
for biking over 65 miles per hour. [applause] -Hey listen, if I'm on a bike going 65 miles an hour,
I want somebody to stop me! [laughs] But our next guy got stopped, but he sure didn't want to be.
You see, he tries to use a little creative license to get off the hook. But apparently, that license had been revoked!
Here's the feature we call "America's Dumbest Excuses." -When I was working third shift, I pulled a, a vehicle over I
suspected to be operated by a drunk driver. Uh, I pulled my-- approached his vehicle,
I observed an older gentleman probably about 90, 95 driving the vehicle. And I asked him for his driver's license,
and he very angrily said, "I don't have driver's license. I've been driving for 70 some-odd years.
I don't need a driver's license." And I asked him, I said, "Well, do you have any ID?"
And as serious as he could, he looked at me and said, "About what?" So he was free to go.
[laughs] --[laughs] He had a cute little giggle. What do you think, Daniel? -I have no ID.
No, I, I think he was legit. When he said, "I had no ID," I think he really meant that he had no idea.
Not one, nada, the old no. All right. Well, we're gonna pick up on the chase we began earlier.
And this guy should have had at least one idea in his head. Somebody up above was watching out for him.
Let's go back to that story and get up to speed. NARRATOR: When we left our criminal,
he went off-roading in a big way. Well, his guardian angels were obviously working overtime,
because he pulls out of this totally totalled car and takes off again. Why would he break his back as a robber
when he could make a fortune as a stunt driver? Ironically, he follows up his nearly clean get away
by taking a little stroll through the sewer canals. Then he tries to act nonchalant.
But that's kinda hard with a helicopter hovering over your head. So he breaks into a run, unaware that police are putting
together a big welcoming party for him. [applause] -When is that guy ever gonna stop?
Well, the teenagers in this next story don't know when to stop either. I guess you can blame it on short attention spans or memory
loss or just being kids who refuse to learn from their mistakes. But they sure seem driven to stealing cars,
or at least one car in particular. See what we mean. -Well, talk about some people never learn.
I assisted in the arrest of a kid twice in one week for stealing cars. -Well, I stopped because you were speeding.
But this is a stolen car. OFFICER PHIL KONSTANTIN (VOICEOVER): And as I look inside the car, I'd just pulled the kid over,
and he's real nervous. And I said, "Well, I see you got another stolen car." And he said, "Well, I, I, I didn't
know this car was stolen!" I said, "Well, have you looked down at your foot?" "Why?
What's wrong with my foot?" I said, "You've got the broken ignition parts on your toe."
[applause] [sirens] -We had had about three bank robberies in the last two weeks.
And so we were kinda edgy, 'cause we just had one the day before. And we get a call from dispatch that
said that a person on a cell phone had uh, driven by an armored car. The passenger in the armored car had
put a sign up saying "Help me!" So uh, they were following the car for a while and then they hung up on the phone,
so we had to find the, that armored vehicle. We found it within about a minute. POLICE OFFICER: Put both hands outside the window!
-We pulled it over. -Do it now! -And uh, pulled out the driver and pulled out the passenger.
-Turn around, face away from me. Put your hands on top of your head. Interlock your fingers.
-I said, "OK, guys. What's going on here? Are you guys in trouble? What's the deal?"
-Back up, back up, back up, back up. -And he says, "Oh, it's that darn Bubba." I says, "Bubba?"
And he goes, "Bubba, yeah. I told him not to do it!" -On the ground! On the beat.
-I says, "Wow, man. Are you, what, is this a joke or what is this?" He says, "Yeah."
Well, we felt a little better, but you can never tell. You know, you gotta make, you always,
you gotta play it all the way through to the end. Because he could have been one of the bad guys
trying to get out of it. So next one we got out was Bubba. Big old boy. And we got him walking back to us,
grabbed him, spread him across. Said, "Are you Bubba?" "Yeah." "Well Bubba, what are you doing?"
"I'm just being stupid!" [laughs] So what had happened was the middle guy, he um, he had did this as a prank.
As a prank. And we asked the other guy, I says, "Well, aren't you work coworkers with this guy?
I mean, what'd you tell him?" He says, "We don't tell Bubba anything. Bubba's too big.
He has a bad temper. We, we're saying, 'Bubba, you better not do this.' And he's, 'I'm gonna do this!'"
And he said, he said he just hung the sign out there and saying, "Help me! Help me!"
On the back of it, he had taken-- it looked like a crayon-- and had written "Help me!"
And he had a smiley face on it and he was holding it up, the sign up to the side window, the passenger window,
as he's driving down the street trying to get people's attention. So we uh, we hooked him up, took him into jail.
What a dozer. [laughs] [applause] [music playing] -Coming up in a bit, a crack house that gains publicity
for its going out of business sale. But now, with news that makes unnamed sources very proud,
here's Daniel with "ADC Headlines." [music playing] -A drug user in Bend, Oregon was beaten by the odds.
It seems that he thought he was calling his dealer, but misdialed and reached a narcotics detective.
Dadgum, don't you hate when that happens? Thinking at first that it was a practical joke,
the officer agreed to meet the criminal in the making for a buy. It took three hours for the accused
to realize just how effectively he had plotted against himself. Well, a motorist unaware that his leadfootedness was being
recorded received in the mail a photograph of his car and a speeding ticket for $40.
Thinking he was being cute, he sent back a photograph of two $20 bills. The police got his attention with their next correspondence,
a picture of handcuffs. [laughs] OK! When an 18 year-old man escaped from jail in Auburn Hills,
Michigan, he left his mocking note on his bed. It said, "By the time you read this,
I'll be halfway to Europe. Ha ha!" He was arrested the same day three miles away.
Mkay? Which was not halfway to Europe, little Debbie. And that closes the file on "ADC Headlines," news ripped
from somewhere near the back of your local newspaper. Deb? [applause] -We're now gonna return for the closing chapter in our story
of a crook who caught a huge break when he crashed his car while running from police
and lived to tell the tale. When we left him, he was on foot, but I think that's about to change.
Grab your airsick bags, we're climbing back in a surveillance helicopter. NARRATOR: All right, let's back things up and take
a running start at reprising this robber's runaway success today. This guy has laid waste to some trees, trashed his car,
hiked through a sewage canal, and tried to look inconspicuous in a neighborhood.
But now police point convincing evidence that his luck has ran out. They hover above him and have a Land Rover
ready to nip his plans for yet another escape. Ultimately, the man who walked away from the crash
with barely a scratch walks away in handcuffs. Some people just don't know when to quit.
[applause] -Hey, stick a fork in him. He's done, huh? Now it took an all out effort from police
to bring that guy down. But now we've got a couple of crooks who required no effort at all.
They lost their way and by the time they realized what they'd done, they'd lost their freedom.
We go to Cleburne, Texas to watch them arrive in a dead end in this week's edition of "I'm Where?
You're Who?" [music playing] -You know, it's not every day that we have our criminals come in and give up to us.
It, it happens occasionally, but not every day. -I had a call that uh, the uh, car wash had been burglarized.
So an officer sees this car that's not being washed with four people in it. -[inaudible] in the car!
CPL. PAM JETSEL (VOICEOVER): So he drives on by and watches in the rear view mirror.
They make a U-turn, start taking off. So he pursued. And that went on for a few minutes.
Pretty soon, five or six cars are involved. -Big high speed police case involving the City of Cleburne
police cars and the Johnson County Sheriff's Office cars. And when he got in behind the individual,
he was trying to be a little smart. He had a little advantage of a lead of them.
And he saw an open garage that he just kind of pulled down into, thinking he'd pull into this garage and hide.
-Down the alley to jail! SHERIFF BOB ALFORD (VOICEOVER): The problem being, the garage
is a Johnson County Sheriff's Office [inaudible]. -Get down! Get down! Get down!
-Get on the ground right now! -Get on the ground! -Get on the ground! -The booking area of the jail. CPL.
PAM JETSEL (VOICEOVER): Everybody came out of the law enforcement center that was here with their handcuffs
ready to cuff these people in the car. -What are you doing? You take us to the jail!
-It was pretty wild. -They were all handy to be arrested. --[laughs] If these drug users in Artesia,
New Mexico had only read their local newspaper, they would have know their crack house
was about to be out of business. But because they failed to check the daily news,
they were put out of circulation. Extra! Extra! See all about it! -Four months ago, our narcotics task force
in this part of the state put out a big ad and an article in the paper warning all of our crack dealers
and all of our crack houses that uh, zero tolerance in the southeast part of the state.
Uh, it even said right in the article, "We're coming after you." The very next day, the SRT team, along
with the uh, narcotics task force hit a crack house here in town. Had about 12 individuals in it.
-I was on the entry team with the SWAT team. Upon making entry and securing all subjects in there,
I noticed a subject that uh, from Artesia, that I have had dealings with in the past
and several other officers have. -I've known this particular subject for many years.
Walked up to him and said, "Son, what are you doing here?" "Oh, you know me, Mr. Fry."
He said, "I just hang around wherever I can, whoever'll let me hang around with them."
I said, "Well, that's understandable. But don't you read the papers?" "Yes sir."
"Well, didn't you read the article yesterday in the-- that was put out by the narcotics task
force in big bold letters that they were coming after the crack houses?" "Yes sir.
I read that article." The chief said, "Well, you didn't pay much attention to it." And he says, "Yeah.
I guess I'm dumb for being here when you guys give me fair warning about it." -I said, "You said it, son.
Not me." [applause] [music playing] -All right, now here's the low down on the low lifes
cruising along in the low rider you're about to see. They think they're macho. But they're about to be in mucho trouble.
-You're gonna see lots of things that go bang bang when these guys accidentally pop their trunk!
-Ooh, hate that! Here's "We're Not Making This Up!" -I was working in a tac team position, and we have,
we have a layoff man. The layoff man stays away from the group of officers that are actually making contact with the suspects, so that if we get
sniped at, or if somebody gets on top of a building or what have you, uh, the layoff man can uh, lay
down cover for uh, the officers. Uh, so I was across the street. This car is, is driving by.
Uh, there was a really big dip in the roadway. Uh, and as the car hit the dip in the road--
it was a low rider so the rear end of the car smacked the ground-- and when it did, the trunk popped open.
And I was so close the car at that time. But they were, all the people in the car
were looking at the cops on the sidewalk. Uh, they didn't see me. And I yelled at the driver, "It's OK.
I'll take care of it." And I walked to the rear of this car to shut the trunk of his car, and it
was just full of, of rifles and handguns. And of course they were stolen. And so we took the whole dumb bunch to jail.
-Dip in the road? Were you there in that story? -No. -Dip in the road. -Dip in the ro-- oh stop!
That's so mean! Well, as long as people continue to break the law, we'll have a job.
-That's good. -So unless the world changes in a big way overnight, we'll be back next week with more dumb criminal stories.
-If you've got a lead on a story or you just can't wait till next week with more state-of-the-art stupidity
provided by our hosts and the criminals, visit our website at www.dumbcrimes.com.
-We want to thank you for joining us and extend our gratitude to the law enforcement
officers who make this show possible. Every day they lay their lives on the line
to us safe from the stupidity of would-be criminals. -As always, we hope that we've all
learned from others' mistakes. -But if you haven't yet, we just might see you next week
on "America's Dumbest Criminals." -Goodbye! [music and applause]

In this episode of “America’s Dumbest Criminals,” we’ll witness a criminal who missed his exit by a long shot, a criminal-tagging pizza boomerang and some misguided fellows who turn themselves in after a wrong turn.

Crime is no laughing matter, except when the criminals are bumbling fools. Hosted by Debbie Alan and Daniel Butler, this show looks at lawbreakers through a humorous lens.

Brief Summary

A pizza box leads to a purse snatcher's arrest and other dumb criminal antics unfold in this episode.

Key points

America's Dumbest Criminals. A hilarious look at the blunders of criminals caught on camera.
Pizza Box Evidence. A purse snatcher is caught thanks to a pizza box with his details.
The Ever Ready Bunny of Robbers. A relentless robber keeps going despite police pursuit.
Bubba's Prank. A prank goes wrong when a man holds up a sign in an armored car.
Crack House Out of Business. Drug users fail to heed warnings and get caught in a crack house.

Episode highlights

Episode quotes

Dang, I must have missed my exit!

A fleeing criminal's thought.

0:10WatchMar 3, 2022

Tension

45/ 100Some tension

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