America's Dumbest Criminals - Season 2, Episode 25 - Moronic Macarena - Full Episode | Forensic Files

hi i'm daniel butler welcome to another edition of america's dumbest criminals [Music]
do [Music] on this episode of america's dumbest criminal a crook packs his bags and makes a run
for it a kid does a moronic macarena on a friend's car a salivating senior expresses his
feelings for a local store and a guy in his birthday suit gets pulled over for speeding
all this and more on this week's episode of america's dumbest criminals walk away
from the car he's your host daniel mudler shopping can be like running a marathon your heart is pumping the
adrenaline running through your veins the anticipation can be overwhelming grab your selections on your mark get
set go unfortunately this guy jumped the gun and had to be disqualified from any
further shopping sprees besides he had already shopped until he was dropped i believe a person should always be
prepared a mental checklist is always a sure bet for success target check mask check
gun to get jewels check bag for jewels check getaway car check escape route westbound westbound turn
westbound on third suspect is sustaining speed he's pulling away from us 2a 15 we're out of the pursuit jack full tank
of gas um police officer put your hands up turn forward don't move don't move five to
ten years check officer mark castille of garland texas was dispatched to back up the fire
department on an injured person report at first glance the man appeared to have been changing a tire when the vehicle
had fallen on his foot only problem the car wasn't his we get there and this man looked like he
was changing a tire and the vehicle had fallen on his foot and he was trapped by the foot
and we go up to help this young man and get to looking at the car and realize that the column was peeled it was
actually a stolen car he was stripping it when it fell on his foot and trapped him trapped by the foot begging us to
get the car off his foot and with that they took the car off his foot so he could hoof it straight to jail
a former detective with the andalusia alabama police department told us about a baseball player who thought he was
safe at home when the officer arrived on the scene he saw tracks leading from the back door
across the yard and up to a house the tracks appeared to be baseball shoes with cleats on them
glass followed the distinctive footprints up to the door of the house where they disappeared
one look at the dumb criminal's shoes and the detective knew he had his man yeah sir
good you live here i live here what'd you do just hit a home run next door i was playing baseball yeah okay
why don't you go to the station turn around place your hands behind your back for me
the man was arrested and charged with the break-in he had just struck out and now crimes of the week with daniel
butler and beaumont bacon hi i'm daniel butler and this is my vine ripened co-host beaumont bacon hi daniel hello a
handcuffed prisoner had managed to get away from an officer and fled the scene the officer gave chase and followed the
guy for a few blocks into an alley they do that criminals always seem to find those back alleys
it's a natural homing instinct deciding it was time to end the chase the officer took his night stick and
threw it down at the goon's feet hoping to trip him up the spiteful sprinter laughed and watched as the night stick
soared by him and into a wall i bet he wasn't laughing for long well you're right because he was focusing so much of
his attention on the night stick that he failed to see the van that he pulled into the alley in front of him he hit
that van with full force and voila the pursuit was over i bet the officer got the last laugh
good for him well so did this counselor at a correctional center one of his inmates wrote a letter to his girlfriend
that said dear becky i'll be on work detail in the park this friday so leave the drugs and
beer by that big oak tree the guards are so dang stupid here there's no way i'll
ever get caught love billy what a touching letter well his brilliant plan fell apart because instead of putting
the jail as the return address he sent the letter to the jail where it wound up on the warden's desk
i'm sure the warden passed the inmate sentiments onto those stupid guards huh which brings us to our vidiot of the
week let's try that again from all the stories that we've received this week this one was our favorite
a woman had just parked her car when she was approached by a crook with a gun who
forced her out of the driver's seat and demanded her keys unfortunately when the goon jumped into
the car he realized that it was a stick shift he only knew how to drive an automatic
he got out of the car and told the woman to get back in and drive him somewhere so she got in locked the doors backed
out and drove away leaving the stunned stick up artist in a cloud of dust much like the contents of his head
dusty in there thank you one would think that if you stole a vehicle you would want to do as little
as possible to draw attention to yourself however this dumb criminal obviously threw caution to the wind officers made
a rather unusual traffic stop one afternoon in houston texas a guy was clocked doing 90 miles per
hour on a motorcycle and not wearing the required attire it turned out that the motorcycle was
stolen and when the officers asked for the driver's information he was at a loss
he didn't have his wallet or any identification or any clothes for that matter they quickly arrested our cool rider and
took him down to the station for fitting into his new designer jail jeans and some ointment for his
cheeks [Music] this next surveillance tape shows a grumpy old man who picked a rather
disgusting way to make his mark on society unhappy with the way a local watch shop
had repaired his timepiece this disgruntled grandpa decided to stop by after hours and pay the store a visit
he also visited the shop owner's car the shop owner promptly had the police visit the salivating senior and have him
arrested for defacing public property and drooling without a license a sacramento officer was called to a
local motel to investigate the possible theft of a ghetto blaster and the suspect wished to lodge a complaint
officer chip dull drove up to the motel parking lot and noticed something a little out of the ordinary about the
victim and i'm talking to the guy and the story doesn't make any sense whatsoever but when i'm looking at him i
see some white powder around his nostril of his nose i asked him about his nose and he goes
well oh i just had a powdered donut i'm thinking well how come nothing around your mouth
and just just tell me your name first of all take your hand out of your pocket you know what's your last name
and he won't give me his name and he won't take his hand out of his pocket he has this blank stare looking
right past me i'm thinking oh something's wrong here all of a sudden he bolts off takes off
running and after about 100 yards i catch up to him and handcuff him and all that and walking
back to the car and i search him he's got a loaded handgun in his pocket he's got a few grams of
methamphetamine in his pocket about 900 in cash and i went back to his car where he was
looking for his id and so i searched the same bags and i found a about another three ounces of narcotics
and scale and all this could have been avoided because and he had no reason to call us
to begin with he had no crime but he wanted to make a complaint and because of his ignorance and again those
stupid pills kicked in he got charged with nine different felony charges and went back to prison
you can take the man out of his business but you can't take the business out of the man as we'll see in this next story
an undercover cop had just cuffed a drug dealer and was on his way back to his cruiser when a car pulled up
hey man the top stop the cops going yet ain't no cops around here really cool listen
shut up don't say anything yeah i got a party tonight i'm looking to score some dope right now man i'm really
desperate the officer decided to play along and use the dope that he had just taken from his cuffed con to set the new
guy up even the detained dealer got caught up in the game how's this oh let me check this out
i'll take it for 50 bucks no way man that's a hundred dollar bag hundred dollars you really think so let
me check it out again how bad you want it oh man i've been looking all over i couldn't find any yeah 100 bucks man
okay hey the way i do business i i need you to shake my hand okay i shake hand with all
the people i do business with no problem would you have a good party tonight huh
oh yeah i got a great part what what what you doing there you go turn around turn around
sealing the deal with a handshake the officer took the yuppie and the drug dealer down to the station
a yuppie and the drug dealer kind of sounds like a new tv show doesn't it [Music]
this guy in hollywood florida found out the hard way that the element of surprise is a situation that works well
for everyone not just dumb criminals you can see that this convenience store was having a slow night until this
gun-toting goon rushed in and demanded the money from the clerk behind the counter
he expected her to give him the money and then make his clean getaway what he didn't expect was the police officer who
just happened to be in the back of the store doing a routine business check hear him demand the money the cop
immediately identified himself and drew his gun too the surprised suspect immediately
surrendered and was quickly taken to another counter to do his business the booking counter
employees at a construction site in east texas complained to their security company because a variety of personal
items had been disappearing during the night one worker in particular was disturbed
about the loss of two gold coins that's when the manager of the security company
realized that he might be able to help he told the man that just two days ago he had to fire a security guard and when
he did the guy said man i don't need this job i got 80 000 worth of gold coins right here these are your gold
coins yeah my gold coins well needless to say the coins bought him a one-way ticket straight to jail
several cops have realized that if you ask a dumb criminal to confess they usually won't but if you give them a
choice they will a case in point from houston texas we did a ring case we had 13 stolen
vehicles we got 12 of them back we had one more to go my new partner at the city were driving
up washington i said man there it is he goes what there's that car we're looking
for there's this monte carlo sitting there reading we knew we had a picture of it
so we going over there and we sit up and of course the car and nobody shows up nobody shows up so we said well hell
let's go ahead and just pick it on up the owner of the car calls us up over the city and says hey y'all took my car
yeah once you go ahead and bring your paperwork and you know when you get a statement from you
so he shows up his buddy brings him over from the appliance place and i said i'll walk out in the parking lot and see
what they pulled up in that car stolen so we went ahead and i told the guy says hey listen us we're doing free
inspections today why don't you go ahead and pull your car around the back and let's inspect it make sure it ain't
stolen guy goes okay so we're putting it up on the rack in the warehouse i looked down there's a one of the
little old match boxes in there i said i don't know what's in the match box opening up some cocaine in there
so i walk in this man so i got some bad news for you man it says find this cocaine in the car says and uh
the car stolen he says man he says i don't know nothing about that stolen car he said now that cocaine's mine he says
but i don't know nothing about that stolen car matter of fact give me a confession i
mean give me a statement saying you know he bought the cocaine and everything so
it was a slam dunk case after we got done who says that toys are only for children
this star trooper played a hunch and beamed this dumb criminal off the streets and into the brig
in sacramento california an officer made first contact with a local drug dealer that had managed up to that point to
elude the police the cocky crackhead didn't seem concerned until the logical law man
without saying a word reached into his pocket produced an electronic toy that he had recently purchased and scanned
the confused con what are you doing officer ah it's my cocaine detector hold still let me check
this is my cocaine detector who tells me you got cocaine on you works pretty good doesn't it
the officer's hunch was right and the frustrated ferengi immediately forked over the cocaine that he had in his
pocket and was put on the next shuttlecraft bound for the uss penitentiary warped factor 10.
[Music] a gang member in murray utah got his revenge on a rival member's car and also
got caught on tape he had spotted the rival car in a service station repair lot and decided
to take out his frustrations on the car he proceeded to jump up and down on the roof and hood break all the windows and
slash all of the tires he left very little behind for the police to work with except for the
surveillance tape and his wallet evidently while doing his moronic macarena his wallet fell out of his
pants and onto the ground so with his help police were able to catch our little dirty dancer a few
hours later as he was cooling his heels at home [Music] a smart crime is hard to find but
there's no shortage of dumb criminals see you next week on america's dumbest criminals
on the next episode of america's dumbest criminal a careless criminal stops the wrong
crustacean down his pants a parachuter runs into a little technical difficulty a confused crook runs right into the
arms of the law he's going to come get in with you an escaped khan forgets his glasses
the laughs just keep coming on the next episode of america's dumbest criminals and i don't know if you're familiar with
houston or not but they have a lot of fairies so one night we got a call of a woman clean clinging to the back of the
ferry and she was clinging to the back of the ferry that was was not in operation
screaming for help and uh she said what happened and she says well she says i pulled was coming
down southbound on crosby lynchburg and she says and i stopped for the railroad crossing
she says the arms were dying the lights were going the lights were flashing she says
but i looked both ways and didn't see anything so she said she cut the barrier because there obviously wasn't a train
coming what she did is she drove right off the lane the ramp onto the ferry straight into the water
yes one time it was on days they pulled out a priority one man screaming for help in his backyard
just before we had official training officer i was training a rookie and i said well come on let's go ahead and get
it you know we need to get on over there we weren't probably 10 blocks away from
it so we jump in the old car and we mainly hammered on over them all the citizens are out front they flag
us on dinosaurs there's a guy screaming for help in the backyard really loud he needs help
so i said okay so we the the gates locked so we go into the gate the house next to it they got
one of them security fences on eight foot of security fence so i look on over it and i don't see
nothing nobody in the backyard you know except the guy's got a goat and it's got damn horns and a goat
that's what happened send that old rookie on over to make sure the coast is clear you know when i tell the old
rookie i said hey i got you covered we're up in a tree i said i got you covered go ahead jump the fence and see
if you can find an open window so make sure nothing happens to the goat so he jumps the fence and first window
he goes to it's unlocked it's all right so you know he opens up the window i said go inside and watch me so i jumped
the fence and went inside the open with it so we're sitting there we're trying to clear the house
[Applause] screaming for help there ain't no man screaming for help it's just goat sounding like he's you
know i guess that's the way goats taught so i said well we look at each other so
we jump back over the bench so i tell the people hey you know there's a goat in that guy's backyard oh there ain't no
gold in the backyard us oh yeah there is so you know we we cleared a call so uh since the dispatcher screened the
call so well we went back in service and i said well clean clear of the call is a man screaming for
help or man screaming for help do a goat and heat and show us back in there so the dispatcher thought that was real
funny because the thing was radio signs for about five minutes [Music] you

In this episode of "America's Dumbest Criminals," a crook packs his bags and runs for it, a kid does a moronic Macarena on a friend's car, a senior expresses his feelings for a local store and a guy in his birthday suit gets pulled over.

Crime is no laughing matter, except when the criminals are bumbling fools. Hosted by Debbie Alan and Daniel Butler, this show looks at lawbreakers through a humorous lens.

Brief Summary

This episode features absurd criminal antics including a failed getaway and a carjacker who couldn't drive a stick shift.

Key points

A Crook Packs His Bags. A criminal attempts to escape but ends up in jail instead.
The Stick Shift Standoff. A thief jumps into a car only to realize he can't drive it.
The Grumpy Grandpa's Revenge. An unhappy customer vandalizes a watch shop after a bad repair.
Caught on Tape. A gang member's revenge on a rival car leads to his capture.
The Goat Scream. A police call about a man screaming turns out to be a goat.

Episode highlights

Episode quotes

Shopping can be like running a marathon.

Daniel Butler compares shopping to a marathon.

1:10WatchFeb 17, 2022

Tension

40/ 100Low tension

More from True Crime Files

Solve the Crime

Read a real case one clue at a time, then see how your call held up against the investigators.