America's Dumbest Criminals - Season 4, Episode 4 - Carry-Out Bandits - Full Episode | Forensic Files

ANNOUNCER: Tonight, meet a cabbie whose meter is running but whose mind isn't. Find out the real reason why your teachers told you not
to play with fire extinguishers. And see what problems occur when brazen bandits order carry out.
It's all ready to go right now on "America's Dumbest Criminals." [theme music] ANNOUNCER: Now welcome your hosts for "America's Dumbest
Criminals," Daniel Butler and Debbie Alan. -Hello, there. -Thanks so much. Daniel, is that a plunger you have there
or a do-it-yourself liposuction kit, which I'd like to borrow a little bit later.
-No, it's a transistor radio, Debbie. Yes, it's a plunger or plumber's helper, yes.
And a new one, at least that's what Lee the prop guy told me but he was smiling kind of funny.
-And why are you carrying a plunger? -Well, I'm glad you asked. It may look like a mild mannered plumber's helper.
But it was actually used as a weapon in one of tonight's story. -At least it's rubber tipped for safety.
-Oh yeah, those metal ones really hurt. But, yeah, I mean, even robbers have to comply to national safety standards.
You don't want those OSHA guys on your back. -Well, you keep a firm grip on your prop,
and I'll plunge into our first story. OK? It's a twisted take on Robin Hood. Now, our central character robs from the poor
to give to himself. But his scheme was blown wide open when he was caught on camera.
-I got called to a King Supers. We had a report of a suspicious activity. When I got there, they have a heavy surveillance system
at the store. A security officer plugged in a tape and showed me a driver for the Disabled American Veterans
pulling up behind the King Supers, getting out and stashing-- he had a color TV and a couple
of comforters, and I think a shirt that he liked and you know, just whatever he liked during his pick up for the day.
He stashed them behind a dumpster, obviously with intent to come back later. Fortunately, with out sharp security officers there,
we were able to intercept those goods and put them aside and return them to the DBA.
When we called the guy-- I talked to him on the phone about the incident. He said he didn't know what I was talking about.
So I said, why don't you come on into the police department. I said about four words to him, come in, sit down.
I played the tape, asked him, any questions? He said, nope. I said, sign here on the ticket.
He said, OK. Video doesn't lie. -You've heard the road is paved with good intentions.
Well, we've found the trail to trouble is sprinkled with fire extinguisher dust.
-See how it all settles as you watch "something to remember me by." -We got a call for a suspicious activity.
A concern citizen or alert citizen called and said there was a group of kids wheeling
what appeared to be a filing cabinet across the street from a school. And she requested area check to see
if we could locate the subjects. We went across the street and looked at the school,
found a broken window. And what appeared to have been a fire extinguisher had been extinguished around the area and the tracks
and footprints leading out of the cafeteria. Followed the tracks and footprints all the way to the house.
We walked around the side of the house. We found a piano behind the back gate. And we all started chuckling.
One of the suspects went ahead and opened the door for us and got four guys out of there.
And they basically admitted to having been drinking and smoking marijuana and got a little hungry and mischievous,
so they busted into the school and took a piano and took the food that was in the refrigerator.
-You know there's something to be said for a nice dinner in a diner if you hit there on a night when it's not too busy.
-Well, evidently, that's pretty much what this robber was thinking. He thought he'd hit there on a night
when it wasn't too busy with an accomplice. -But sure as clockwork, the surveillance
cameras caught the whole thing. See what the video recorded in Clinton, South Carolina.
DEBBIE ALAN (VOICEOVER): It's a slow night here at the diner, not much going on, not much action over at the register
either sad to say. I hope this guy coming out the restroom appreciated that new fruity smelling soap.
Coming to the register, he must want to settle up and go. Rob me? What do you mean you're going to rob me?
And how do I know that's a gun in your pocket? It looks suspiciously like a bar of fruity soap if you ask me.
OK, keep your drawers on. I'm opening it. Well, sorry you came on a slow night, Mr. Soap In The Pocket.
Do me a favor and leave good, clean fingerprints. Hello, police department, I just got robbed
and I've got it all on tape. Plus, the robber's got an identifying mark. I think you'll find your man smells of fruity soap.
ANNOUNCER: In Tampa Bay, Florida, it's illegal to eat cottage cheese on Sunday after 6:00 PM.
-Consumers today, we're told, are far more suspicious and jaded than people a generation ago.
We demand quality and expect to get our money's worth. And then there's this poor sap who could smell something
was fishy, but couldn't resist the bait. He provides us with tonight's installment
of America's dumbest excuses. -We were working an undercover drug operation where we send our cop in as the person buying the drugs.
We sent our guy in with a $20 bill. And the dealer would not sell to him. So we send our guy back in with $30.
The dealer still won't sell to him. With $35. -Come on, man, I need-- -You again?
-Yes. -$40. -Man, I need some dope. I'm jonesing. Come on. -No. -We make it up to $50.
-How much? -I've only got $50. -At $50, he finally sells the dope to our undercover cop.
-All right, man, you're under arrest, sheriff's office. -You're kidding me. No way.
-We asked him, why didn't you take the 20? Why didn't you take the 30? Well, he was suspicious of our undercover guy
that he was a cop. But he really needed the $50, so he took a chance. -You know, when passing through a toll booth or boarding a bus,
it's always a good idea to have correct change right there. But there's nothing correct about what a would-be passenger
in Minneapolis tries in this surveillance video. Here's tonight's blue light special.
DANIEL BUTLER (VOICEOVER): When this pulled up to the stop, look what the waiting passenger presented in lieu of bus fare.
(PRETENDING TO PLAY VOICE OF MAN IN VIDEO) I don't got no cash. Do you take guns?
(USING NORMAL VOICE) But mass transit is a cash only business. So the fast thinking driver slammed the door and sped away.
-Individual at 11:30 at night trying to rob a bus like Jesse James in the wild, wild west,
there's no money to be had. DANIEL BUTLER (VOICEOVER): Yet this young man pointed a modified short barreled rifle and using
colorful language demanded greenbacks. -The driver has no money and does not have access to the money.
When it goes in the fare box it goes into a locked vault. DANIEL BUTLER (VOICEOVER): So the bad guy
was left standing flat. The door of opportunity slammed into his face. And we offer him this token of our affection by conducting him
into the blue light special hall of shame. Toodles. -How far would you go to make a robbery look good?
Well, probably not as far as the guys you're about to meet. Travel with us to Chelmsford, Massachusetts,
to find a couple a low lifes up to some unbelievable hi-jinx. -The call came in that we had an armed robbery
and two people were shot. -Well, apparently, they needed a few extra bucks, so they decided that there was enough money in the till
to split between them if they staged their own robbery. -They have made up this intense plan to stage a robbery.
But rather than just say they were robbed and shot, they actually followed through with shooting each other.
-They thought it would be much more believable if somebody was wounded. Neither one of them wanted to go first
so they decided if you shoot me, then I'll shoot you. They thought that was a great idea.
So that's what they did. -I'll shot you first. -No, I don't know about-- no, no.
[gun shot] -He first shot one of them in the left shoulder area. -Second guy started to get cold feet after the first guy
got shot and was reeling in pain. So he wasn't sure he go through it, but the other guy was insisting he go through with it.
-Give me that gun. OFFICER (VOICEOVER): Before he passed out, he took the gun and shot his other fellow employee.
-What they obviously didn't realize was that a 22 could hit a piece of bone or something
and deflect in there and go anywhere in the body. But they thought it's just a 22, so it's
not going to be that bad. -A grand total of $400 was involved. It didn't take much and they finally
admitted what had really happened, told us where the money and the gun was. -Pretty dumb, yeah, you'd have to go along to top that one,
I think. -And now with news from the guy considered to be the Phantom Menace of journalism.
Here's Daniel with ABC headlines. -There's speeding, then there's this guy from New Orleans.
Rocketing along on a stolen a motorcycle, the man was clocked at 162 miles per hour.
When you realized that police were after him, he lost control of the bike and slid off the road
onto a embankment near a cemetery. Oddly enough, amazingly he sustained only a broken leg
and a world class case of road rash. When the promotions director at a Houston TV station
rigged a the contest to have his mother-in-law win a new pickup truck, he had no idea that his devious deep
would be exposed to the viewing public. When his scam was exposed, the judge ordered him to wear a placard at the college football
game broadcast on the TV station. And his sign read in part, "I am liar, a cheat, and a thief."
OK. Had to sit right next to the guy with the wig and the John 3:16. A Nashville man was charged with stalking when police discovered
that he kept detailed records on hundreds of women he had met as door-to-door salesman.
In all he had 52 scrapbooks filled with memorabilia. Now that's creepy, yeah, for sure.
But far more disturbing was a discovery police made when they searched his home.
On videotape this man had collected every episode "Family Feud" and "Three's Company."
Now that's creepy. Huh? That's weird. And that closes the file on ABC headlines,
news ripped from somewhere near the back of your local newspaper. Debbie. -Cabbies tend to be an independent lot.
They like the independence of charting their own course. And in doing so, some roll up surprisingly
higher fares in the process. We learned of a taxi driver in Florida who didn't want to be taxed with the paperwork
necessary to operate his cab. See what we mean. -The chief received information that there was a taxi service
operating in the city without a franchise life. So what I did was I set up. I came up to the PD, used a payphone right behind me.
And I called up. The name of the cab service was Charlies' Taxi Service. So I called him up.
And I told him I need a cab. He said, where can I pick you up at? So I told him, pick me up at the library,
which is right across the street. And he said, I'll be there in about five minutes.
So I went over, got in the car. And he said, well, are going? And I said, well, I'm going to work.
I work at the county jail. There was no meter obvious. There was no meter in the car.
So what he did he had a cell phone. And he must have thought I stupid. So he took the cell phone down and pushed a few numbers
as if he was looking up a time or something. While actually he was just punching numbers in,
dialing them and thought I believe him. Once we get back to the back of jail, I ask him how much it was.
He said, $6.00. Told him he was under arrest for operating without a franchise license.
So we was talking and he said, well, you said there was 1,000 people at the jail?
I said, yes, but now there's 1,002, because you two are going to jail right now.
-We see all kinds of wacky weapons used by criminals on ABC. Tonight, well, we're going to christen a new one as we
welcome the induction suction, courtesy of a plunger. -One night last November we were called to a residence
Madisonville where a couple had awakened in the middle of the night to a man looming in their doorway
armed with two screwdrivers and a plunger. Since it was an odd time of day and since they had not
called for either a handyman or a plumber. He was not easily deterred, however, and went to the rear of the residence, where he began
pounding on their patio door with the plunger. -Let me in. -They, of course, called 911 and we responded quickly.
But he'd already left the scene when we got there. Our deputies fanned out throughout the area
and found a number of other residence under construction in the area had been burglarized.
And they also found a car that was in a ditch. They ran the license plate to a man from the Slidell area,
and in fact, a few minutes later, located him walking down the highway. He was extremely intoxicated.
He seemed unable to communicate or even remember how he had come to be there. After the subject was arrested, he
was booked with criminal damage, trespassing, leaving the scene of an accident, burglary,
and of course, carrying an unregistered plunger. -Based on the mini film festival you're about to see,
you're going to wonder if druggies ever hit anyone up for drugs who isn't a police officer.
The coast definitely isn't clear as we travel all across America on a crime busting spree.
-My partner and I we're going to out and look for some areas to purchase crack cocaine.
-We're in vice, working on drug trafficking. -We were working one of the public housing areas.
-Had on a police coat. -In full uniform. -With gun belts, the whole works. -And happened to stop behind one of the buildings
on a public street, well lit, no problem, just to see what was going on in the area.
-And one of the people I knew waved me down and wanted to sell us crack cocaine.
-He said, how you all doing? -What do need? -I want to get a 20. -Knowing that she was going to recognize me at any minute.
-I've got rock if you're interested. -And I drove back up there and handed her $20
and told her that we are ready to buy the crack from her. -I couldn't believe what he was saying
being how we were dressed. -We arrested her for retail theft. -Turns back to the Sergeant, and said, let me get 20.
I ain't got all day. I got places to be. -About two weeks later, we're going to do the same thing
in the same car, and the same girl waves us down and wanted to sell us crack. -So my Sergeant said, OK, you're under arrest.
-She looked at me and she said, you really have to be careful because there's a couple of undercover officers working this area.
And she goes, a big guy like you. And pointed to my partner in the back and said,
and a little guy like you. -Trying to sell to an undercover which really wasn't undercover.
-So I told her I wanted to her to get in the car so we could smoke the crack down the road.
As we started driving off I pulled my badge out. And I showed it to her and I said, Bessie, it's me again.
You're under arrest. ANNOUNCER: In Blythe, California, you are not permitted to wear cowboy boots
unless you already own at least two cows. -I had my bicycle stored at my brother's house.
And I was going to go for a bike ride. So I went to my brother's house. I pulled it our of my brother's garage, closed the garage door
and went through the house. And the bicycle was gone. We looked all over for the bicycle. we couldn't find it.
Two days later, I was riding down Mary McLeod Methuan Boulevard, and I see this guy riding
a bicycle that looked just like mine. I turn around. When I turned around he took off running.
I chased him down. I checked the serial number. Sure enough, it was my bicycle. He kept saying, no, that's my bicycle.
That bicycle wasn't stolen. I couldn't take it anymore. I said, well, the bicycle was stolen two days ago.
And it was my bicycle that was stolen. He goes, oh, man, I guess I messed up. And finally a couple months later we went to trial on it.
The attorney didn't prepare for the trial. He kept asking me how I knew that bicycle was stolen.
So finally I told him, because it was my bicycle that was stolen. He stopped asking questions right then.
ANNOUNCER: Now let's look back at one of ABC'S greatest hits from the year 1997.
As you can see, this man walks into the shop looking like he might buy something.
But he quickly and quietly, let's the women behind the counter know that he has a gun
and wants their money. Not overly impressed with his laid back technique, employee Jean Casey decided to see
a liquor goes to the goofy gunman's head. This guy's got a hard head. Co-worker Debbie Nelson tries some Napa red.
Ouch. That's wine on his forward, folks, not blood. This round was definitely on him.
But when the final bell rang, the women stood tall. And our wobbly wino was quickly arrested and sent to prison.
-Just when we think we've seen it all, we realize that there's a whole the dimension of weirdness
that we barely glimpsed. -Tonight, we have a strange story of a bank robber who has both a surprising alias and an astonishing modus
operandi. Here's the honest to goodness truth of "we're not making this up." -There was a guy, has a striking resemblance to Jesus
that lives in town, long hair, beard, blue eyes, real striking resemblance to any portraits of Jesus.
-This guy actually believed he was Jesus. And he called himself Jesus. -One day he got the banner idea to try to rob a bank.
He goes into the bank with a paper bag. He had a couple of shotgun shells and a stick of air freshener in the bag.
And he walks in there and hands it to the teller. -I think it was kind of a Robin Hood thing.
-And he says, I'll be back in 30 minutes for my money. So he promptly leaves. 30 minutes later he comes back.
-Robbing the rich to feed the poor. -And he's promptly arrested by the on-duty detectives
and patrol officers for attempted bank robbery. -When we interviewed him, he went through all the scriptures
and had a logical answer for everything according to the Bible as he sees it. He actually said, I'll come back in 30 minutes
and pick up the money. I mean, he actually truly believed he was going to get away with this thing.
-All right, well, it's time for us to clear out, but before we do we want to thank all the officers who
helped us with tonight's show. -They represent thousands of others on the job to make this world a better place.
-Here at ABC we want you to know how much we appreciate your good work. -Of course, we'll be back next week,
but if you've got a lead on a story or you just can't wait for more state of the art stupidity,
visit our website. -Or if you have a backed up drain, call us to. The address is www.dumbcrimes.com.
-As always, we hope that we've all learned from others mistakes. -But if you haven't, we just might see you next week
on "America's Dumbest Criminals." [theme music]

In this episode of “America’s Dumbest Criminals,” we’ll witness a cabbie whose meter is running but not his mind, the reason teachers taught you not to play with fire extinguishers and what happens when bandits order to-go.

Crime is no laughing matter, except when the criminals are bumbling fools. Hosted by Debbie Alan and Daniel Butler, this show looks at lawbreakers through a humorous lens.

Brief Summary

This episode covers bizarre criminal antics including a cab driver without a license and a bank robber who thinks he's Jesus.

Key points

Cabbie with a Twist. Meet a cab driver whose meter is running but whose mind isn't.
Robin Hood Gone Wrong. A man robs from the poor to give to himself, caught on camera.
The Soap Robbery. A robber uses a bar of soap as a gun, leading to a hilarious arrest.
Plunger as a Weapon. A burglar armed with a plunger causes chaos in a neighborhood.
Bizarre Bank Heist. A man who believes he is Jesus attempts to rob a bank with a paper bag.

Episode highlights

Episode quotes

Video doesn't lie.

3:13WatchMar 10, 2022

Tension

40/ 100Low tension

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