America's Dumbest Criminals - Season 1, Episode 25 - DUI Elvis - Full Episode | Forensic Files

DANIEL BUTLER: This is an ADC Warning. The crimes you're about to see are true. Only the names were changed to protect the ignorant.
[theme music] Tonight, on "America's Dumbest Criminals," a man who was driving under the influence of Elvis,
a high speed chase in a camouflaged car, and a petty thief who meets the Caped Crusader.
This and more on tonight's special edition of "America's Dumbest Criminals." Good evening, and welcome to "America's Dumbest Criminals."
I'm Daniel Butler, your host. You know, folks, we've been around this country from Seattle to Fort Lauderdale, and we've
seen a lot of dumb crime. But tonight, we bring you a very special edition of "America's Dumbest Criminals."
The acts you're about to see are illegal in themselves. But the disguises are downright criminal.
We were filming on location in Nashville, Tennessee, when we discovered a unique breed of dumb criminal.
Sgt. Floyd Hyde was on the scene. -We were in south Nashville, and we had closed a lane of traffic
down because they were-- we were filming a series for "America's Dumbest Criminals."
And we closed the road down with traffic cones, a sign that said "lane closed" on it.
Behind that barrier, we had two wooden barriers. And then behind those two barriers,
we had a police car with the blue lights on. Of course, in front of the police car were the policemen.
So we're standing there trying to make sure the traffic control is smooth and everything.
And we look up, and here comes this man down the wrong side of the road. He had drove around all three barriers.
And then he drove around the police car before we could get him to stop. -Whoa, what are you doing?
SGT. FLOYD HYDE (VOICEOVER): And we asked him where he was going. -Stop the car. What are you doing?
SGT. FLOYD HYDE (VOICEOVER): And he said, well, I didn't realize that this lane was closed.
I knew the other lane was closed. -Pull over. You, pull over. -I think this is the talent for the next show.
-Sir? Sir? -Oh, what a minute. We got two of these guys. -Wait. I'll handle it, sir.
I'll handle it. -He looks drunk. DRUNK DRIVER: What's going on up there? -Of course, we knew at that time that he was intoxicated.
So we made him park his car, told him he couldn't drive on the wrong side of the road
simply because the right side was closed. And right there in the middle of the set,
we did our field sobriety test. And of course, he failed, and we arrested him for DUI.
And then he asked us what we were filming. And when we told him it was "America's Dumbest Criminals,"
he kind of chuckled and said, well, I guess I'm a candidate now, ain't I? It's unbelievable how many people
come up to the police cars. It was well marked that the road was closed. There was marked units out there, and they'd see them,
but the people continued to speed through there. We made 30, 40, 50 speeding arrests, a couple revoked
driver's license, and eventually, a DUI arrest as a result of it. It was a very productive night for us,
and I guess for ADC also. DANIEL BUTLER: Our first Elvis impersonator caught in a trap.
But this was only the beginning. ADC quiz number 318. A house burglar in Pittsburgh was
unable to resist when captured by the police. How was he caught? Did he-- A. Break in while the owners were home?
B. Leave his fingerprints on the door. Or C. Lay down and fall asleep on the couch?
The correct answer is C. A crowd of G-Men surrounded him and immediately applied the couch potato cuff.
Was our next dumb criminal the King of Rock and Roll or the Godfather of Soul? You be the judge.
-I was just driving one night. And I rolled up next to this guy in a Honda Civic '95 model.
And I just happen to look over there. And I looked in the ignition, and there were no keys.
So I said, OK, be cool. And so I got on the radio, ran it, actually came up. My dispatcher said, where did you have that car?
And I told her. She says, that car is stolen. Taken in a car jacking. And so, OK.
I hit my lights. This guy took off. I said, OK. [inaudible]. I love it. And you can tell it's 5 speed.
He couldn't drive the 5 speed. You could tell that much. Couldn't drive because the back end
was going up and down, up and down. And another thing, I was able to tell the dispatcher which way
he was going because whenever he'd turn, he'd signal. So OK, he's gonna turn right.
He's gonna turn right. OK. So we go down this dead end street, and he jumps out the car.
So he ran toward these bushes. I lost sight of him. But what he had done, he had hidden underneath those.
Well, I didn't know he was there. So I'm running, running, running through the bushes,
and I stepped on him. ELVIS: Whoa! UNDERCOVER OFFICER (VOICEOVER): And there he was.
I think he was eaten up with ants. -Get on the ground! -Ants in my pants! UNDERCOVER OFFICER (VOICEOVER): Anything-- Anything
that was there in those bushes, they had him for dinner, more or less. -On the ground!
-I-- oh, god! Ants in my p-- officer, baby. I got ants in my-- oh! Oh! Please, help me, help me, help me, help me!
DANIEL BUTLER: The King had found a new place to dwell-- it was down at the end of Lonely Street
in an ant hill motel. It's obviously a crime to impersonate the King of Rock and Roll, but it's also a crime to impersonate
the King of Ding and Dent. This is actual surveillance camera footage from a body shop
that employed "the money maker." Hey, watch this. To increase a car's damage and his profit,
the Dr. Nick of crash and crunch wrapped a sledgehammer in duct tape, and then mauled the Mazda.
One for you, $500 for me. Two for you, $800 for me. This devil in disguise was dumb enough to do his damage right
in front of his own surveillance camera, which was used to convict him. Hey, I totalled it.
I made it to the bonus round. In Florida, it used to be against the law for a wife
to collect her husband's paycheck. But she could impersonate a giant Casaba melon
and collect a loving cup of gravy. Ladies and gentlemen, we are proud to present
the first twin Elvi sighting. -Well, we had armed robbery downtown. And there's two individuals involved.
So one individual got away. He got out the back of the bank before we arrived. The second individual was caught by our officers
coming out the front of the bank. The first individual came out of the crowd. And the suspect that had gotten away, we asked him, you know,
why he came back because he was in the clear. Well, they was from another town. And he said, my buddy had the car keys.
And he said, I had to come back and get the car keys cause I didn't have a ride home.
DANIEL BUTLER: These twins got all shook down. Coming up, an Elvis impersonator who really bombs at the bank.
Up next, a petty thief accidentally runs into to the King of Rock and Roll justice.
-Many years ago, there was a burglar working at a truck stop, area where 18-wheeler semi-trucks were coming
in day and night, 24 hours a day. And he was breaking into these 18-wheeler trucks
with some regularity. And the merchandise was being sold the following day on streets a few blocks away just
to passerbys on the street. Well, one night, this burglar got greedy, I guess. And he broke into an 18-wheeler truck at this truck stop area
and decided that he wanted to sell the merchandise, get the money right then. Well, the only two businesses in the area
was the truck stop and a bar. So the burglar took a specific number of audio cassettes
in a certain case into the bar and proceeded to attempt to sell the audio cassettes.
What he didn't realize was the bar was full of truckers, and the man that he handed the audiotapes to
to try to sell, they belonged to him. -All right. I got him down. I got him down.
BUDDY TIDWELL (VOICEOVER): So needless to say, we responded to a big disturbance call at the bar.
By the time we got there, there were several burly truckers outside holding the man at bay.
-Hit him. Hit him. Get outta here. DANIEL BUTLER: This dumb criminal was a hunk-a hunk-a all beat up.
In Ohio, it used to be against the law to sit on top of a taxi. However, it was legal to roller skate
on the world's tallest turntable. Warning-- the following scene contains graphic footage
of a serious eating disorder. -And this officer, he'd come up and was hungry that night,
was on his way home, so he decide to stop at the restaurant to get one of their famous strawberry pies.
And so he got this call. He said, well, I'll catch this call before I go home. He pulled in behind this business
and left the pie and everything in the backseat of the car. So he goes in to process the crime scene.
And he's in there with his walkie-talkie, and he's dusting for prints and whatnot.
And all of a sudden, he hears a frantic call over the air, "help, help!" MAN (ON RADIO): Help me!
Help! Help! -And the dispatcher comes on and said, unit calling for help, identify.
The guy said, I don't know. I don't know my car. I don't know where I am. I don't know where I am.
I need help. And she says, well, look at the car door. She thought it was a citizen-- calling from a citizen.
Look at the side of the car. So he looks out and he says, oh, 412. 412. And she's, all cars, officer needs help.
Unit 412. And she dispatches his location. Well, the officer inside says, wait a minute, I'm 412.
What? So he dashes outside, and he looks, and he finds this man sitting in the backseat
of his car just covered in blood. And he's just, ah, give me the paramedics. I got a man hurt.
All of a sudden, he looks at this guy, and he looks in the back seat. And the guy's drunk.
He crawled in his backseat to get warm. And he's eating the strawberry pie. What he saw and thought was blood
was strawberry pie just all over this guy. -Get outta there. Come on. What is the pr--?
You messed up my car. You ate my pie. Come on now, what's going on? -It was cold.
I climbed inside to get warm. -Yeah, yeah. -I had a buzz on. I got munchies. DANIEL BUTLER: This dumb criminal
is definitely going to Faceland. You know, Elvis liked fast cars, but he also liked great landscaping.
This sketch contains one of those. This is an outlaw landscaping company car receiving
a high speed police escort on the way to a corporate client. First of all, the landscapers will remove a pesky tree
to make room for new growth. Now as they remove the tree from the grounds for proper disposal, they'll fog for insects.
Now, once they've properly disposed of the tree, they'll quickly sweep the street,
then they'll cut the grass. After a frantic mulching, they're ready to plant their bulbs in jail where they
will compost for 15 to 20 years. Ladies and gentlemen, the first known father and son Elvis sighting.
Bizarre but true. Here, Elvis Senior and Elvis Junior enter a liquor store. Dad immediately instructs Junior to disable the video cameras.
-Hey. Junior, get that ca-- get that video. Get that camera. -OK. It's OK. Wait a minute.
I'll do it for you. DANIEL BUTLER: The problem with most surveillance camera footage is that you never get a really good close-up
of the face, so it's difficult to make an ID. -I'm getting it, Daddy. I'm getting it, Daddy.
DANIEL BUTLER: But Elvis Junior obliged by putting his face right in front of the camera before he clipped it off.
Hey, it's still better than having a daughter who marries Michael Jackson. Coming up, here's something you don't see everyday-- an Elvis
impersonator with a missing Philco on "America's Dumbest Criminals." Next up, John Rhodes tells us about a man
who impersonates a bank robber. -It was a bomb threat, slash, bank robbery. A man had called a bank on one end of the county and said,
there's a bomb on your building. I'm going to come through the drive-through. You give me however much money he wanted
or else I'm going to blow up your bank. So sheriff's department all started moving towards that bank.
They had Investigators working. That was just a diversion. And he called the other end of accounting us at the same thing
I think everybody's going to be down here this bank. Well, the bad guy had called inside the bank and said,
there's a bomb on your building. I'm coming through the drive-through. I'll show you a green flag.
Give me X number of dollars. Soon as they hung up the phone, they walked out of the bank,
locked the door, and went next door and called the sheriff's department. Nobody was in the bank.
He came through the drive-through. Nobody was there. He sat there for a few minutes in his car.
They're at a business next door watching. And he's waving a green flag. Nobody's at the bank.
And when the deputy drives up, he's standing there banging on the window. -I need my money now.
[inaudible] where you at now? I need my money now. Come on. -Get on the ground! Get on the ground!
Put your hand behind your back. DANIEL BUTLER: Of course, the real King never bombed.
This is actual surveillance cam footage of Flora, Dora, and Debbie-- the fairy godmothers of crime.
Watch closely as Flora, Dora, and Debbie crowd the customer in black on the left.
Dora diverts the customer's attention by reaching in front of her, while Flora filches the funds.
Once the grab is made, Dora sprints around left in, just in time to make the hand off to Debbie.
Now let's see that in slow mo replay to spot the foul. The teams are lined up. Dora calls the signals.
2-48. 2-48. Hut, hut. There's the snag. Dora blocks while Flora dashes for the corner.
She's got some open running room. Debbie's pulling in just in time to receive the hand off.
There. She's got the ball now. She's got possession, tight-roping down the sideline.
Debbie high steps to paydirt and a jail cell. And now, for a dumb criminal who got all stuck up.
Uh-huh. -One night, they get a call on a burglar in progress-- a man trying to go through the second story window.
And they go up. And they pull up. And they're shining their lights. And sure enough, he had one foot in the tree and one foot
behind a drain pipe. And they said-- OFFICER: He's all right, Jeff. Johnny, what are you doing up there, man?
Just hang on, man. Don't fall. Are you stuck, man? -Uh-huh. -You can't get down from there?
-My feet's a shakin'. The branch a breakin'. My foot's a stuck. And I don't know how I got up.
-Well, why don't you come on down? We'll do a couple of choruses of "Jailhouse Rock," huh?
Hang on, hang on. Yep, we need Fire and Rescue on this one, I believe. -OK. -Just sit tight.
We'll get you down. -Uh-huh. -And they had to call the fire department out to help ply him off.
They had to pull the pipe off the wall. DANIEL BUTLER: This Elvis impersonator just couldn't help falling.
In Ohio, it used to be against the law for a student to date a ski instructor. But as wise men say, only ski instructors rush in.
Next up, Frank Walmer bags two bean heads in a doubleheader. While on duty in Baltimore, Frank Walmer
spotted a man carrying a television. -Excuse me, sir. Yeah, you. Could I ask you a few questions?
Could you put the TV on the hood? -Right here? FRANK WALMER: Yeah. Right there's good.
Is this your TV, sir? -Oh, yeah. Yes, sir. Yes, I was letting a-- a friend watch it.
FRANK WALMER: A friend, huh? -Yes, and I was just taking it home. -OK. Well, do you have some ID, sir?
-Ah, yes, sir. Yes, sir. He wanted to watch the 50th anniversary of the "Hee Haw" reunion show.
FRANK WALMER: Yeah, that's great. -Officer Walmart? FRANK WALMER: Walmer. -Oh. FRANK WALMER: Walmer, yes. -My second guess.
FRANK WALMER: Here, let me call this in, sir. Just a second. DANIEL BUTLER: Officer Walmer ran the serial number
and checked for burglaries involving that brand of TV. Finding nothing, he let the man go.
FRANK WALMER: All right, sir. Here's your ID back, sir. -Thank you. FRANK WALMER: Thank you very much.
-Thank you very much. DANIEL BUTLER: A few hours later, the officer was dispatched to the scene of a residential burglary.
And sure enough, one of the items stolen was the television he had just seen. But nothing prepared the officer for what he saw next.
-Hey, heard you guys were coming by. You're the officer I called about the theft here?
FRANK WALMER: Yes, sir. You had a break in? -I don't-- you know what. Baby was in fixing me, in there, a sandwich.
And I had-- excuse me just a minute. Just make sure that you can see my eyes and all.
FRANK WALMER: Thanks. -Thank you, baby. And, uh-- I'll be just a minute. And I come in.
Sounded like somebody was jimmying my screen door. And-- and, uh, I come in. -Screen door.
Yes, sir. -The screen door. Yeah. -The items were taken? -Appreciate that. You got my name down there?
-Yes, sir. -E. Presley. -Yes, sir. -Thank you very much. And I come in, and somebody-- excuse me there for a minute.
Somebody'd taken the Philco. -What is that? What-- what's up with this? -Oh yeah, that's some alfalfa.
That's my cousin's. And-- -What-- what's that? -That's some potpourri that wife, uh, keeps in the house.
-Can I see this, sir? -Makes it, uh-- you can go on and keep that. Keeps it smelling nice and the-- the--- I didn't see anybody.
I come here and my Philco was gone. It was [inaudible] since I bought it. They didn't take my headphones.
They didn't take nothing else, but-- you don't want my sandwich, do you? Man that did it was-- they didn't take--
-Uh, this, sir? -Oh. -What's that? -Baby, I-- I told you about keeping these carburetors out here in the house.
It's from an old Chevy. And, uh-- -Mr. Presley, I think you need to come with us, sir.
Downtown. -Excuse me? -I think it's time for you to leave the building. -Hang on a minute.
Baby. They want me to come downtown for just a minute. Signing autographs or something, I reckon.
I don't know. Give me another sandwich. DANIEL BUTLER: Officer Walmer arrested the impersonator
and later, grabbed the burglar. It was truly a doubleheader. -That's all the time we have on "America's Dumbest Criminals."
Tune in next week, don't impersonate the King, and remember what Black Elvis says--
-Don't be dumb. Don't break the law. [theme music]

In this episode of "America's Dumbest Criminals," we'll witness a man who was driving under the influence of Elvis, a high-speed chase in a camouflaged car and a petty thief who meets the caped crusader.

Crime is no laughing matter, except when the criminals are bumbling fools. Hosted by Debbie Alan and Daniel Butler, this show looks at lawbreakers through a humorous lens.

Brief Summary

This episode features foolish criminals, including a DUI driver and a burglar caught sleeping on the job.

Key points

Driving Under the Influence of Elvis. A man drives through a closed lane and gets arrested for DUI while filming a show.
The Couch Potato Cuff. A burglar falls asleep on the couch and is caught by G-Men.
Elvis Impersonator Caught. An Elvis impersonator gets arrested after a failed robbery attempt.
Impersonating the King. A man impersonates Elvis and gets caught for burglary.

Episode highlights

Episode quotes

I guess I'm a candidate now, ain't I?

A drunk driver realizes he's on a show about dumb criminals.

2:51WatchDec 2, 2021

Tension

30/ 100Low tension

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