America's Dumbest Criminals - Season 1, Episode 10 - 10-Year Cab Ride - Full Episode | Forensic Files

NARRATOR: This is an ADC Warning. The crimes you are about to see are true. Only the names were changed to protect the ignorant.
[theme music] Tonight on "America's Dumbest Criminals," you'll see a 10-year cab ride, a dumb criminal who
uses his head, and a criminal who has a very bad payday. These are just a few of America's dumbest criminals.
Hi, and welcome to the show. I'm Daniel Butler. What makes a dumb criminal dumb?
Well, we know that drugs, alcohol, greed and just old bad luck are all contributing factors.
But what really makes a dumb criminal dumb is not thinking. And tonight, we've got a cell block full of crooks
who were brain dead before arrival. These guys are America's dumbest criminals. Our first story is about a burglar who breaks in and then
has to use his head to break out. About 18 years ago, I received a burglar call to a Quick Mart.
The whole service station had been made into a Quick Mart. Got there and right at the base of the window was a small hole.
My backup car said there ain't no way anybody got in there, and said, we're going to leave.
And what had crawled-- the suspect had crawled in. It was a rather small hole. Didn't appear that anybody couldn't have gotten in.
I decided that I would just ease back and wait. I was waiting on the elder to come
down and check his building, too. I just had that feeling somebody was in there.
That second intuition, I guess. So about 45 minutes later, I see a young criminal stick his head
out from the storage room in the back. And he's looking all around like he's looking for the police.
He knows we're already gone. But I'm not already gone. So his arms loaded down with probably
20, 25 cartons of cigarettes. And he lowers his head and starts running as fast as he can, going to run through the front door,
which is a plate glass window. The only thing is it has that push bar across the center of it.
He hit the push bar, knocked his self out, and fell backwards. And he was knocked out until the owner of the store
got there and opened up the door and I was able to go and handcuff him. He wanted to know where he was at then.
NARRATOR: Some of these criminals are unconscious, especially that guy. In New Jersey, it used to be against the law for women
to wear sharp pointed hair barrettes, but it was legal to wear dead ferrets. Next, we go to Las Vegas, where Caroline Green
has a story for us about a jewel fool. -We had an elderly lady come into the station.
She appeared to be about 75. She was accompanied by a gentleman who appeared to be in his mid 30s.
-I'd like to report my jewelry stolen. -She just needs to collect insurance. I just drove her.
-Sir. -At each of our complaint desks, we have a sign that says one person per desk
because of the space accommodations. She stated she wanted to report her jewelry stolen.
So one of the office staff proceeds to begin the report. The usual-- your name, your address,
when did it happen, what's missing? -Well, there were two diamond rings, one of them
was appraised at $1,500. That was my mother's. -When we got to the suspect information part,
they asked if she knew the name. Yes, she did. Where did he live? She gave the address.
The clerk just ears kind of perked up, and she said, on into the report, do you know where this gentleman is now?
And she said, yes I do. -As a matter of fact, I do. He's sitting right over there.
-And it was, wait a minute. Your suspect accompanied you to the station to report the loss of thousands of dollars worth of jewelry.
Yes. -Ms. Birdsong, what did you tell them? He was taken into custody, admitted the theft.
-He didn't think I knew, but I did. -But it was a little unusual for a suspect to accompany the victim to file the crime report.
-Oh, I guess I'll need a ride home now, officer. -It was most unusual. NARRATOR: ADC quiz number 911.
The largest haul of marijuana ever seized by the US Drug Enforcement Administration occurred in February 1982.
How much pot did they get? Was it A, 3,200 tons? B, 5,050 tons? Or C, a whole lot more, man, than anybody's ever seen?
The correct answer was A, 3,200 tons, which is also sort of the same as C. Coming up on "America's Dumbest Criminals,"
a guy who takes a cab ride and the meter is still running. Welcome back. And now, further proof that drinking and thinking
don't mix. -Got a call to a house one evening. This cab driver, I met this cab driver,
and the cab driver said, the guy in the house just robbed me. So I took down this physical description and all,
and I said, how do you know it's the guy in the house? He said, well, first of all, I picked him up at the tavern.
And he said the guy was pretty intoxicated. And so then he wanted me to take him home
and I brought him out here. He said-- I asked him for the money and-- -I said that would be $5.
-Oh, $5. Just send me in, man. You know what? I don't have my money with me. I have to go into my house and get my money.
I'll be back just-- just a minute. Don't move. -I was a little bit leery of that, but he said,
I really didn't have any recourse. You know, here's the guy and here's the house.
And he said the guy went in the house, and he said he staggered in and stayed there about two or three
minutes and he staggered back out. And he said, give me all your movie. I said, well, you're crazy.
I want your money. Enough for the cab fare. And he stuck a gun in my face, he said,
I don't have any money in the house, so I'm going to have to take your money. So he said that he robbed me and went back in the house
and he's in the house now. So I knocked on the door and never did get an answer.
I knocked again, the door was open, and I could see him in there. I said, is this the guy?
The cab driver looked through the door and he said, yeah, that's him. -Yeah, that's the man who robbed me,
and that's my money on the table. -I said, well, we'll just go and get him, then.
We've got positive ID. He got 10 years out of that. NARRATOR: What originally would have cost
him $10.00 now cost him 10 years. In Tennessee, it used to be against the law for a frog
to croak after midnight, but huge snails could squeal all night long. You'd think that even a dumb terminal
would be able to spell his own name, but nope. -Working a robbery detail and saw this guy acting very
suspicious around one of the stores, so I waited until he came by some bushes and snatched him off the road there
and asked him what's his name. -Randall Michael Huddleston. I'd like to check for stops on a Randall Michael Huddleston.
-Well, I ran records and there was an outstanding warrant on him. So I said, well, we're going to have to go to the station.
-Going to have to go downtown. On the hood. Spread your legs out. -Listen, officer.
My name is really Roland Ephraim Blair. -So I went and pulled his record, and sure enough, there was an outstanding warrant on him,
as well. I said, now, what is your name? -Roland Ephraim Blair. -I said, well, spell that for me.
-R-o-l-a-n-d. -Now the middle one. -Ephraim? E- f-- E-- well, I don't use it much.
It's my mama's name-- -Oh, yeah. -And I just call her Mama. -And that was his name.
NARRATOR: Well, it's his name. He can misspell it any way he wants to. And now, actual surveillance cam footage
of a convenience store robbery we call "Slip Up." We apologize for the poor quality of the video,
but the stupidity quality is very good. In the upper left hand corner, this convenience store clerk
is mopping the floor when a customer enters. He returns to his counter and the dumb criminal remarks
that you wouldn't want anyone slip on that floor. Now the clerk is behind the counter on the right
and the dumb criminal makes a purchase of some gum and pays for it. The clerk rings it up and opens the register.
Now at this point, look closely. The dumb criminal pulls a knife, but the knife is not open.
But he does point it at the clerk and threaten him. He insists that the clerk open the cash register,
but the clerk doesn't take him seriously, so then the dumb criminal puts the unopened knife
in his jacket and pretends like it's a gun. The clerk still isn't buying this. So now the dumb criminal pulls out the knife-- again
unopened-- insisting that the clerk open the cash register. Now he decides to get serious.
He comes around the counter and opens the knife. The clerk insists that the man leave the building before he
gets into a lot of trouble, but now he's swiping at the clerk. Unfortunately, he feigned the clerk off towards the deli
counter where the clerk picks up a bigger knife-- a butcher knife, in fact. Now a small sword fight ensues between the pen
knife and the butcher knife. The clerk refuses to open the register and insists that the man leave.
Now the clerk gets a trash can. The man is beating on the electronic register. Finally, he decides to flee.
But first, he decides to take a huge, heavy electronic cash register. He didn't unplug it, though.
Watch the cord now as it spools out, hitting the wet floor. Bam, our dumb criminal takes it on the rear.
Yep, he just busted his back. He ran out of store with the register and the police found him in the vacant lot
next door still trying to open it. In our opinion, this is the dumbest crime ever caught on surveillance camera.
Now, let's go to Decatur, Illinois, where we're about to catch a criminal who got his hands on some cold cash.
A burglar had broken into a home in a quiet neighborhood and taken a couple hundred dollars
in coins that were kept in the freezer. Not much to go on, until the officer stopped at a gas station.
-Now, funny you should mention. A guy came in here the other day. It was cold. I mean, I didn't think much about it,
but-- other than that-- -Thank you. NARRATOR: The very next day, the guy with the cold quarters stopped back by the market.
Turns out he lived in the neighborhood. The amazing thing was the quarters were still cold.
That meant that he was storing them in the freezer, I guess thinking that the quarters
might melt if he took them out. The clerk simply took down the license number, a warrant was issued that afternoon,
and the thief was picked up at his house one block down the street. -Yeah, Detective-- Ken Thompson at the market--
-You'd think he'd have waited a few minutes for the money to warm up or driven five blocks away for gas,
but he didn't think at all, did he? NARRATOR: In Texas, it used to be against the law for a woman
to pull up her stockings in public. But oddly enough, she could legally ride a horse naked.
Now, inside the courtroom for trial and error. A police officer describes an attempted bank robbery
where the criminal broke in and stayed in. -Officer Huddleston, -Yes, sir. -Is there a witness who saw the actual person
who broke into the bank? -No, sir, but-- -Yes or no will suffice. Is there any surveillance camera footage
of the actual perpetrator? -No sir, but the defendant-- -Thank you. Then on what basis do you charge my client?
-Well, sir, he broke into the basement, he couldn't get the money, and he couldn't get back out.
So I guess that's when he figured out he should call 911. NARRATOR: Coming up later, a dumb criminal
signs his confession with spray paint on "America's Dumbest Criminals." Next, a dumb terminal flags down a police officer
to get a lift that winds up being a ride to jail. -Well, actually he was flagging a car down in the middle
of the street in a known drug area. So I go over and I said, come here, let me talk to you.
I said, what are you doing flagging cars down in the middle of the street? He says, no, Officer, I'm just trying to get a ride.
I was trying to get a ride. I said, you know that's disorderly contact, stopping traffic like that.
Then he gives me this lame excuse that he wants to go to Salvation Army and that's why he's flagging down this truck.
-I know, Officer, I was just trying to get a ride and I'll be about my business, Officer, I promise you.
-I can give you a ride. -All right, OK. -I'll have to search you before I can put you in the car.
He said, OK, Officer, fine. Got this matchbox up here in this park. I said, I'm going to have to check this because back then,
drug dealers were known to put crack rocks in matchboxes. Opened up the matchbox and there's the crack.
So basically, what he did was he gave me reasonable suspicion, probable cause, consent to search.
It's almost like he wrote his own arrest report to go to jail. NARRATOR: That's what can happen when
the criminals start pulling over the police. In Alabama, it used to be against the law for a person
to crawl on the street, but it was legal to slide in a swamp. And now, it's show time when the Las Vegas
Police Department goes Hollywood. -I approached my captain and the police administration
and asked them to give me an opportunity to do a graffiti sting involving a movie production company that
was fabricated by undercover officers. And they gave the go ahead. What the operation involved was to set up
a warehouse and a movie production company and then send out flyers asking for graffiti artists
that are tagging in Las Vegas. And our goal was to get some of the higher up taggers
that we did not get at an earlier operation about four months earlier. And in a two-week period, we had 57 phone calls
of interested artists that were high profile that showed us what they did in our studios-- their art work, if you
could say, or their vandalism. And our undercover officers acting as a producer and director would immediately ask these vandals,
we want you in our picture, but we need to see your artwork outside on the walls of Las Vegas.
And we had undercover officers acting as production assistants and took our undercover officers out and showed us
where they had tagged all over Las Vegas. And then other officers acting as investigators went
and assessed these areas, photographed it, put damage amounts to it. And at the end of the operation, we
ended up arresting 28 juveniles with an estimated $150,000 worth of damage. -Come on, let's get your face up here.
-Baby, this is it. Baby buzz. NARRATOR: Now he can decorate his own walls in jail.
And now, actual surveillance camera footage of a dumb criminal candidate. Is this woman a dumb criminal?
It's difficult to tell because she's shielding her face to cover her identity. Let's look closely now.
Watch her carefully. Yep, she is. Welcome back. Now, a robber fleeing from a bank
unexpectedly runs into some people on their way to the bank. -One morning, we had a bank robbery.
I was working patrol headed toward that direction, and lo and behold, the criminal went right by me.
He just nails it and takes off. Of course, I was right behind him, took off right after him.
He barely makes it through an intersection-- a busy, busy intersection. He slid through that intersection, barely missed
t-boning another car, then took off again. Little did he know that it was pay day
and at the next major intersection we have six officers waiting there to get their paychecks.
[crashes] Needless to say, traffic was back up at the light, thank God. And he couldn't stop, so he rear-ended a car-- I mean,
nailed it good. Jumped out of his car, threw the money under his car, and took off around a business.
He comes around that building back out to the street and there are four officers there waiting for him.
NARRATOR: You know what they say-- timing is everything. You know, we couldn't have done this show
without the cooperation of the men and women of law enforcement across America. We'd like to thank them for their time, their dedication,
and for making our lives a lot safer. And we learned that cops are just people, too.
With one exception-- they're willing to lay down their lives for us.

In this episode of "America's Dumbest Criminals," we'll witness a 10-year cab ride, a dumb criminal who uses his head and a criminal who has a very bad payday.

Crime is no laughing matter, except when the criminals are bumbling fools. Hosted by Debbie Alan and Daniel Butler, this show looks at lawbreakers through a humorous lens.

Brief Summary

This episode highlights absurd criminal antics, including a burglar who knocks himself out and a thief caught with his accomplice at the police station.

Key points

A burglar's head injury. A burglar knocks himself out trying to escape through a glass door.
Jewelry theft gone wrong. A suspect accompanies the victim to report stolen jewelry, leading to his arrest.
The dumbest crime on camera. A criminal attempts to rob a store with an unopened knife, leading to a hilarious failure.

Episode highlights

Episode quotes

What really makes a dumb criminal dumb is not thinking.

NARRATOR discusses the nature of dumb criminals.

1:13WatchDec 2, 2021

Tension

30/ 100Low tension

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