America's Dumbest Criminals - Season 1, Episode 6 - The Bagman - Full Episode | Forensic Files

this is an adc warning the crimes you're about to see are true only the names were changed to protect the ignorant
[Music] tonight on america's dumbest criminals you'll see a bank robber who didn't have
a car or brave a dumb criminal who gets a special delivery and a dumb criminal who learns about
gravity these are just a few of america's dumbest criminals [Music] welcome to america's dumbest criminals
i'm daniel butler we've gone from police station to police station investigating case after case
and our research of the criminal mind has revealed that it is completely empty and you're about to meet them the sour
cream of the crop as we open the files on america's dumbest criminals and now daryl price tells us about a
bank robber who only lacked two things a car and a brain let's watch as the charlotte mecklenburg police department
sacks the bag man we got a call at around noon that day that there was a bank robbery in process
and when we arrived we had had about seven calls on the same bank robbery from numerous people cellular phones
pay phones we got there we found out why we had a subject that had put a brown paper bag
on his head a grocery store bag he had cut two very small eye holes in it and put it on his head about
i guess about a two-tenths of a mile away from the bank and walked all the way to the
bank with a bag on his head he entered the bank and uh he started shouting demands that this was a robbery
and that he had a weapon and he never never displayed a weapon excuse me i'm sorry sir i have no idea what you're
saying basically the robbery took probably about seven or eight minutes because everyone was having a hard time
understanding him because he didn't cut a mouth hole in his back and it was real
muffled and every time that he would turn the bag would stay in one place and he would
lose his eye holes so he he leaves the bank and takes off running back in the direction he came for almost this
quarter of a mile still with the bag on his head as he runs across the traffic six lanes
it's rush hour i mean not not rush hour but rush hour for lunch traffic was real heavy and as he got in
the middle of traffic the bag turned and he started going through traffic because
he couldn't see and so all these cars were about to run over well he finally got the bag twisted back around his head
we could see where he was going and got through the traffic went into some woods so my sergeant and
i rode down we caught him probably a quarter of a mile from there and we caught him and got him downtown
and got a subsequent confession out of him that he had committed a robbery but his story was that
i heard there was a bank robbery so i went into the woods and i caught the bank robber and robbed him and took the
money from him you know once that guy decided to rob the bank the toughest question facing
him was paper or plastic [Music] in omaha it is against the law to double park it is however legal to give a pedestrian
a flaming hood ride thank you mr motorist and now actual footage of a low-speed chase
in many cities across the u.s especially los angeles high-speed chases are being
broadcast live on television like this one but we thought we'd like to show you one that's a little different a lot of
these chases end up with innocent civilians in car crashes or dumb criminals and shootouts with the police
or the dumb criminal in a bad traffic accident but this one ends a little differently with the dumb criminal
running out of gas we just thought you'd like to see a different high-speed chase
[Music] abc quiz number 637 in thailand eight white-collar criminals were found guilty
of defrauding investors and together their sentences equal a 300 hours community service teaching
english to elephants b 30 years or c 1.5 million years the correct answer is c 1.5 million
years of course the same crime in the u.s would get you about all 36 holes at a federal pen without beer
[Music] coming up on america's dumbest criminals a dumb criminal who finds the promised
land [Music] welcome back next you'll meet the burglar who made one too many house
calls and his number came up police officers responded to a residential burglary call the owner of
the house reported that a burglar had broken in and stolen quite a few items including his son's beeper while the
officers took down the list of stolen items the father jokingly suggested that he should call the thief on his son's
beeper and see if he calls back you know it can't hurt sure the homeowner had nothing left to lose
by paging the robber to just give you a fair shake you know and not ask any favors of anybody but i certainly don't
expect to walk home come home and find everything stolen out of my house we went to dinner we went to a movie i
don't know what time we got hello yeah somebody paid me to this number um somebody pays you from this number uh
my son must have called and uh and he's in the shower right now could you call back in just a few minutes
thank you that's him you wouldn't happen to have a caller id by any chance would you
yes the police looked at the caller id got the name and number and relayed the information to the dispatcher can i have
a correct address on a stephen laser [Music] the dispatcher got the address on the
phone number and sent a marked unit to the robber's address yeah somebody paid me
hold on a second hello whoa hey what's up hey what are you doing yeah yeah we got him you got
me for what hey man what'd you call that beeper number back for he beat me i'm supposed to come back it's only
polite that's right it was a dumb thing for a criminal to do but at least he had proper phone
etiquette in california it used to be against the law to swim on land but to show you how
far california has come today a woman can receive a grant to pursue a career in log rolling strip teas and they start
at 35 000 a year now captain don parker tells us about a dumb criminal whose mother should have
taught him you never talk to strangers we have one of our local dopers here who was in uh rather dire straits she had
just gotten out of jail his car had been repossessed he didn't have any money he had about a half a
dozen baggies of really poor quality marijuana decided he would hitchhike to the beach and sell the dope to try to
get some money up [Applause] gets to the beach comes up over the top of a sand dune
guy's not feeling really well i got to tell you boy opens his eyes and looks and it looks like a family reunion to
him as far as the eye can see there's long hair and beards and this pasty white skin he can't believe it man it's
like a dream come true he runs down the beach grabs the first guy sees in a blanket and says hey man you you want to
buy some dope guy says yeah i'd be interested sure what you got hauls out as half a dozen baggies of
marijuana lays them out on the on the beach blanket the guy said well this looks like pretty good let me tell you
what let me get a few of my friends over here they might want to buy some too call they come over there guys in heaven
he can't believe it so how much you want well he quotes him a price of like three
times the going street rate and a guy says yeah that's fine problem is we don't have that much money
we'll need to pull our resources that'd be okay sure go for it they start shelling out dollars a big old pile it
must be a closer you know a couple hundred bucks on it hands on the pile of money the guy shows the dope over to me
said pleasure doing business with you and about that time 50 badges come out our dumb criminal just sold dope to
every undercover narcotics agent in the southeast who were just attending a seminar
life's a beach ain't it [Music] now we go inside the courtroom for trial and error
from the witness stand a bank teller describes in detail how she received the endorsement of a dumb criminal mrs flick
would you please read the note the defendant gave you this is a stick up give me all the money or you'll get hurt
you must have been frightened no there's bulletproof glass in the drive-through so what did you do then
well i called the police and then i told him that even though this was a robbery
he would still have to sign a withdrawal slip so i slipped one through to him he
signed it returned it and then the police came [Music] in hartford connecticut it's against the
law to cross the street while walking on your hands it is however legal to fly using pizza
boxes ken mcginnis birmingham tells us about a dumb criminal who fell from grace and
landed in the halls of justice it was about uh three or four years ago i went to serve a uh robbery i mean a
robbery arrest warrant with a robbery detective went up to the house knocked on the door no one answered
we could hear people scuffling around on the inside finally at some point the mother came to
the door opened it up she was screaming yelling at us asking us while we were there the detective
told her that he had a robbery warrant for her son so she said he wasn't there we could
come in and look around so my partner and i went in the front door and we were using our way down the
hallway he's a good boy he's a very good boy you can look in any room and uh we got about
halfway down the hallway and uh out of nowhere the ceiling above me gave way [Music]
the guy fell right in front of me was covered in drywall and knocked the breath out of him he
couldn't breathe and i told my partner i said man it's a message from god so we rolled him over and handcuffed him
and we took him on out to the car and took him to jail for robbery so chicken little was right this guy is
falling now actual footage of a male sorter receiving his own special delivery the
man in the postal uniform is actually a postal inspector the man without the shirt is actually an off-duty mail
sorter they're carrying two parcels into the mail sorter's house now these parcels
were sorted by this mail sorter they appeared to be a television in a computer so he sorted them to go to his
house he simply put his own label over the actual label it was such a professional labeling job
i'm amazed he was caught but this dumb criminal went to jail for his own special delivery
[Music] when we come back the adventures of the naughty nocturnal animal we call a dumb
criminal on america's dumbest criminals [Music] welcome back we take you now to brunswick georgia where we follow the
story of a man who forged a stolen check and temporarily forgot who he wasn't detective ted mcdonald served the
warrant on the man are you robert norton [Music] yeah i'm robert norton mr norton we have
a warrant for your arrest for receiving and cashing a stolen check what makes you guys think that i did
something like that well when you forged the check you wrote the name printed on the front of it on
the back when you endorsed it you used your real name and you provided the teller with your driver's license with
this address well i guess when she uh asked me for my id uh i guess i went into check writing mode
pretty dumb huh [Applause] [Music] in north carolina it used to be against the law to sing badly until over 5 000
bad shower singers protested and the law was repealed [Music] we've heard it all the time trust your
instincts if something you're about to do doesn't look right or feel right don't do it but especially if it looks
really wrong i was involved in a narcotics transaction i was working undercover and my partner and i
made a deal earlier that day to purchase a hundred pounds of marijuana and in our
conversation with the individuals they said well it's still on the stalk we hadn't had a chance to cut it yet
but we can give it to you on the stall can give you a discount with it instead of paying full price because of the
weight of the stalk and all so we negotiated the deal and they were supposed to meet us later that evening
so my partner and i arrived at the location at the said time and sure enough here they come loaded down with
stalks of marijuana it's not even bundled up or anything just right on the stalk like they'd pulled it from the
ground and we were in a little compact car you know just big enough for two people
much less a briefcase or anything like that my partner came out with the shotgun to
make the arrest because there's no way in the world we could have gotten it in that small
car agreed got the best of them i think [Music] and now actual footage of a case we call
one of the odds a woman was shopping in a mall when she had her purse snatched her purse
contained all of her husband's credit cards the two thieves took the credit cards
from her stolen purse and went on a shopping spree at this store where they immediately purchased a camcorder from
this man who happened to be the lady's husband whose purse they had just stolen in a city of over a million what are the
odds they're always bad when you're a dumb criminal using careful deductive reasoning and crafty logic the criminal
often arrives in jail you know when you have a day when everything goes wrong well this guy is
about to have one of those days condensed into five minutes near cleveland ohio a robber entered a
cafe with a knife wait this is a robbery the cashier filled a paper bag with money and the gunman escaped with the
cash think about it yeah get the 20s get the 20s but as the man exited the restaurant the
sac tour opened on the door spilling the money as he ran across the parking lot then he made it to his truck but
realized he had locked the door he forced the key back and forth and it broke off in the lock
which he used to shoot himself in the foot he was later arrested at the emergency
room where he arrived with a gunshot wound in his foot in ohio it used to be against the law to
drool in the salad bar here a known drooler is caught trying to pass in disguise
up next an inebriated house burglar comes face to foot with the homeowner the nervous crook sat in his car
knocking back beers to get his nerve up the beer only managed to shut down his brain
while the crook's body went out to rob a nice home totally anesthetized our crook pried
open the door after he realized it was closed he gained entry to the house and began stumbling through the dimly
lit hallways in moments he was bruised bleeding and still very drunk but he still wanted to
rob the house he just felt like he needed a few minutes to rest so he laid down on the floor right where
he was which just happened to be right beside the bed of the sleeping homeowner who had slept through the entire
burglary but now needed to heed the call of nature she was looking for her slippers when
she almost put her foot in his mouth he got five years for his nap time with bozo
[Music] well that's our show for this week we hope you'll agree that it was time well
served our appreciation to the men and women of law enforcement across the country i'm daniel butler saying don't
be dumb don't break the law or we'll catch you next time on america's dumbest criminals
[Music] [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] you

In this episode of "America's Dumbest Criminals," we'll witness a bank robber who didn't have a car or a brain, a dumb criminal who gets a special delivery and a dumb criminal who learns about gravity.

Crime is no laughing matter, except when the criminals are bumbling fools. Hosted by Debbie Alan and Daniel Butler, this show looks at lawbreakers through a humorous lens.

Brief Summary

A bank robber with a bag on his head and a burglar caught by calling the victim highlight this episode's dumb criminal stories.

Key points

America's Dumbest Criminals. A showcase of the most foolish criminals and their blunders.
Bank Robber with a Bag. A robber attempts to conceal his identity with a grocery bag, but fails hilariously.
The Caller ID Confession. A homeowner pages the thief who stole his son's beeper, leading to an arrest.
The Undercover Sting. A drug dealer unknowingly sells to undercover agents at a seminar.
The Robber's Mishaps. A robber's escape goes wrong as he spills cash and injures himself.

Episode highlights

Episode quotes

The toughest question facing him was paper or plastic.

A bank robber's dilemma.

3:40WatchDec 2, 2021

Tension

30/ 100Low tension

More from True Crime Files

Solve the Crime

Read a real case one clue at a time, then see how your call held up against the investigators.