America's Dumbest Criminals - Season 4, Episode 20 - Confetti Money - Full Episode | Forensic Files

[music playing] ANNOUNCER: Tonight on "America's Dumbest Criminals," why would any man in his right mind
throw money around like it was confetti? Do you sense that this robber may be new to the world of handgun safety?
And how is this thief able to escape without a trace? Well, except for this irrefutable video.
We've got the answers to such questionable behavior, all neat and tidy, in the show we
call "America's Dumbest Criminals." [police radio chatter] [music playing] Now, welcome your hosts for ADC, Daniel Butler and Debbie Alan.
-Hi there. Hello. -Boy, this is going to be a great show, because Debbie has naughty photographs.
-What? -Uh, yeah. Well, to report them. I meant, Debbie has naughty photographs to report on.
You didn't let me finish the sentence. OK? -Give me a break, OK? -No. Wait, no, wait.
I just remembered. The naughty photographs are mine. -Oh, man. And suddenly, thousands of people
scramble to change channels. -Wha-- to us, or away from us. -Oh, don't flatter yourself, big boy. [laughing]
-Yeah, well-- all right. Perhaps I should be clearer about what we have to present tonight.
-That's a good idea. -We have a story involving naughty photographs that will air later in this broadcast.
It does not show anything inappropriate, and the story is mine to present, not yours.
-Thanks for the clarification. -But if you'd like a picture of Debbie's tattoo, send a self addressed stamped envelope to Debbie's tattoo--
-Daniel, just get on with our first story, please. -All right, OK. It involves the perception of what's real and what's fake.
-And a bank robber who sort of throws out the baby instead of the bath water. It's all caught on camera.
-We had a bank robbery at a local bank here in Lake City, Florida. -And believe it or not, the bank robbed
was just across the street from the Lake City police department. -And at the time of the robbery, the gentleman
went into the bank and asked for $50 and $100 bills. We were watching the surveillance tape
from the bank, we noticed that he had his hand in his shirt, and we asked him what he had his hand in his shirt for,
and he advised that he did have a weapon. -And the weapon he had was, in fact, a water gun.
-After he robbed the bank, he actually left the bank riding a bicycle. He got down by a local court house, which is there
by a lake, and he was looking over his money that he had gotten, and he noticed that the $100 bills looked funny.
-He take it and throws it in the sewer, because he figures it's bogus money. So he didn't need it and didn't want to keep it.
-He was not aware that this had been the time that $100 bills, the appearance had just been changed.
-Banks sometimes offer incentives to gain new customers. But I don't think this next guy got a toaster for what he did.
-Well, but for what he did, both the people at the bank and at the police station gave him full credit.
He offers something to remember me by. -It was a couple of years ago, on a Sunday afternoon,
like it is today, and one gentleman walked into one of our local banks here on the east side
and removed a credit card application from one of the many counter tops in the local bank.
Decided to start filling it out. Filled it complete with his name and address and work
information, social security number. And left it sitting there on the counter, and decided that instead of a credit card,
he'd like to help himself to a little bit of whatever was left in the vault. Walked up to the counter top, announced an armed robbery,
made off with several thousand dollars and left the bank. When the police officers arrived,
they started doing their routine evidence collection and found a credit application that one of the clerks
had seen that he was filling out, complete with a full set of fingerprints and all the identifiers.
So basically filling out his own booking card, in essence. This guy must have been just laid off at NASA or something.
He was a real rocket scientist, leaving his name and his address behind. Just a complete moron.
-I don't know about you, Daniel, but I just love to watch those how-to shows on TV.
-Oh, you mean the ones where they teach you how to add a room, landscape an estate,
and fix a leaky toilet in about 30 minutes? -Yeah. Those are the ones. -Yeah. I wish those guys would come to my house.
--[laughing] I know what you mean. Well, we've come up with an instructional video
you just won't believe. It'll teach you how to lose a friend in under 10 minutes.
Watch as a thief is captured on hidden camera. No, that's not Thing from "The Addams
Family" you see at the door frame. And no, it's not Bob Vila, seeing if he can do a little handy work on the chain lock.
Now, if it was Bob Vila, he'd have this lock uninstalled in a flash. This is one determined yet slightly uncoordinated robber
who thinks he can't get charged with breaking and entering, if technically speaking, nothing gets broken.
What he's attempting to do is use a screwdriver to remove the lock from the door frame.
Because, and as far as he knows, there's no law against unscrewing and entering.
He spends over seven minutes tinkering with the lock, until finally, he's in. As you can see, he likes to tidy up as he goes,
not wanting to leave any unsightly fingerprints on this work. And he doesn't leave anything undone.
He puts everything back the way it was, almost like no one had ever been there. Oh you're a crafty one, you are.
How about one more turn to make it nice and tight. Good job. As you can see, this is the kind of guy
who'd take the shirt off his back just to make sure things are done right. After a brief break to scratch, chew, and spit,
he's gloved up so he won't have to do any more dusting as he disconnects this apartment tenant's electronics equipment.
He thoroughly rifles through the items in and on the nightstand, looking for loot.
Now keep in mind that he is completely unaware that a hidden camera is recording
every incriminating move he makes. The only way he can make it easier for the police
is if he stenciled his name, address, and telephone number across his back. Well, now comes a moment that every handy man knows
is critical. There. There it is. The hiking of the pants. The mark of a true professional.
Now he grabs his prize and makes for the door, so proud that he masterminded and executed
such an ingenious and flawless plot. About the only thing the camera didn't capture
was the look on his face when officers came a-knocking. I wonder if he has a chain lock on his prison door
to keep the people out. ANNOUNCER: In Seattle, it's illegal to carry a fishbowl or aquarium onto a bus, because the sound of water sloshing
may disturb other passengers. --[laughing] Hey, somewhere along life's highway, you've probably had to explain to an officer why you were
in such a hurry to get somewhere. But explaining your crack usage, well, that might prove a little harder to justify.
When one guy tries, he weasels his way into the hall of shame we call America's dumbest excuses.
-Well, I was working narcotics. We went out on the street to make buys and arrest
the person who we buy the dope from. We just made a purchase on a dark street, arrested
the seller, had him in the middle of the street, handcuffing him. A truck pulls up and stops.
My partner and I have our badges out. I flashed my badge at this guy, motioned for him to go around.
He just sits there. After we get this suspect handcuffed, I walk up to the truck, the guy tells me he wants a 20.
I asked him again, you want what? He said, a 20, which is a $20 piece of crack cocaine.
I walked back to my partner, told him what I had, took a piece of crack cocaine, which we had just
taken off of the other suspect. I sold it to this guy for 20 bucks, arrested him,
took him out of the truck. Arrested him for purchase of crack cocaine as well as DUI.
I then asked the question, did you not see my badge and see us arresting the guy right in front of your truck?
He explained to me that he thought we were just horsing around. -And what did you do to make money as a kid?
I bet doing chores or running a lemonade stand was never as lucrative or as easy
as what these teenagers tried. But what you did probably didn't earn you a place on this show either, did it?
They, on the other hand, are featured in our blue light special. NARRATOR: These crazy kids came up with a wild way
to make money. They made money. Yeah. See, these high school students were temporarily high rollers
in the world of counterfeiting. -Take your genuine money into the scanner, scan it in, using your software, into your computer.
Tweak it a little, line it up. And then print it on the ink jet printer. NARRATOR: They used their fresh new $5 bills
to buy gas, hardware items, and pizza. But the pizza presented a problem. -We had their first name and their address.
-Looked just like a normal $5 bill. You know, same colors. NARRATOR: There was one fatal flaw with their bogus bills.
They look great on the front, but the backs, well, they lacked a little something.
Next time you kids want to make money, try mowing lawns. -Was the gun loaded, or wasn't it?
What makes a weapon a weapon? Well, these are but two of the questions you'll have to ponder as we wander through a clumsy caper
from Kingston, North Carolina. Take a look. -We get a call to an armed robbery early one morning
at one of our convenience stores. And we get there, and the lady, she's just livid.
She is just so angry. And there's a bullet hole in the store window. And we walk in, and we ask, well what happened?
And she tells us about the robbery. And she says, well I've got it on video. So we go back and we start looking at the video.
Two young males come in, and the shorter of the two walks up to the counter and asks for a pack of cigarettes.
She reaches up, takes down the cigarettes, and lays them on the counter. He takes a small handgun out of his pocket, sticks it at her,
and says, now give me the money. She said, you must be crazy! Don't you see all those cameras?
Put that thing in your pocket, and get out of my store. So he racks-- going to rack one back into the chamber,
I guess, apparently, to shoot her. When he pulls the slide back, the bullet jumps out of the gun, over onto the floor.
He very sheepishly walks over, picks up his bullet and puts the bullet back in the gun.
His partner walks up to the counter-- -Sorry ma'am. -I'm sorry this happened. They fly out the door.
He turns around just as they get to the corner. I guess he has to make a statement.
Shoots back at store and hits the window. About two weeks later, they rob a store in another city,
and they're caught there. And then we get them for ours also. -And now with the news, here's a guy
who could add charm to any police lineup. Here's Daniel, with ADC headlines. -A burglar in Louisiana didn't leave a calling card
when he fled from a home he was pillaging. He left something even more incriminating.
Along with a suitcase full of loot he had gathered was a court notice requesting his presence
at a hearing for his previous nefarious activity. The police officer was just being a good Samaritan when
he found a pager in a phone booth and called the last number displayed on it. But to his surprise, the person who answered the phone
identified the owner of the pager and mentioned that the individual was wanted for fraud.
Moments later, the owner returned to retrieve the pager and was promptly escorted to the jail.
So, now no one will need to wonder how to get a message to him. Here's a bit of a career counseling thing.
If you're trying to become a police officer, you decrease your chances of being welcomed onto the force
if you do the following. One, drive to your written exam in a stolen car. OK. And two, park it illegally in front of the station.
Call this a public service announcement from some guy in Chicago who won't be wearing a police uniform any time soon.
And that closes the file on ADC headlines. News ripped from somewhere near the back
of your local newspaper. Debmeister? -I can't imagine that anyone could have been more precisely
at the right place and right time than an officer in Kaufman, Texas. He brings a brand new and very literal
meaning to the term drug drop off. It's a hands-on example of an ADC special delivery.
-This was a couple years ago. We were running a drug raid over here on one of our local dope dealers.
And my job was to cover the back of the house. And when I went around to the back of the house,
I came up to one of the windows. At about the time they slammed the front door, the window came open, this hand comes out, drops a bag.
And I just reached out and caught it. I couldn't think of anything to say except I said, thank you.
Now get on the ground. Turned out it was about 1/4 pound of dope in it, which is what he had in the house.
DANIEL BUTLER: When the beginning of the conversation was the question, do you develop nude pictures?
You have to know that things could only go downhill from there. And my friends, I don't think you'll be disappointed.
Here from Slidell, Louisiana, is the story of a man who may not have been a raging Cajun, but he definitely had raging hormones.
Take a look. -We received a call at Slidell police department in reference to a man who wanted to develop some film.
He dropped the film off, he made an inquiry about whether or not they would develop film with nudity.
And the clerk advised him that as long as it didn't involve teenagers, or children, or a crime, that he would.
So he did get them developed, and when the pictures came back, they had some pictures of a very
young female in the photos. -We set up around the area. The employees gave us a description
of the subject who brought the pictures in. ROB CALLAHAN: Once he came back, he was question-- questioned about the pictures.
But in the process, we also wanted to check his car out. We found out the license plate was
stolen out of West Virginia. And that the car itself was stolen from the government,
out of South Carolina. So things were getting worse for the guy. And what happened was, he decided
that once we were going to tow the car, he decided he wanted his property. Well, no problem.
So we decided to get the property for him. But he mentioned that he had $1,00 in cash
in a shoe box in the trunk. So we open the trunk up. CHRIS NEWMAN: We pop the top on the shoe box,
and there's his $1,000 in cash. -But in addition to that, there was a pound of marijuana in the box also.
So things got really bad for him. -So the subject has one count of possession of stolen property,
being the license plate. Another count of possession of stolen property, being the vehicle.
And three strikes you're out, with possession of marijuana. NARRATOR: Now, let's look back at one of ADC's greatest hits.
DANIEL BUTLER: If you live in the Indianapolis area, please help us find this guy and buy him a belt.
He has robbed a series of banks in an effort to buy this very necessary device. He obviously needs our help.
If you see him around town, call the FBI. They have one waiting for him, ready to wear,
one size fits all. NARRATOR: In West Virginia it's illegal to walk lions, tigers,
or leopards, even on a leash. -About four and a half, five months ago, I had a situation where I was coming out of the jail.
And as I was leaving the jail, I was able to see on the opposite side of the sally port
of the door where I exited, a bicycle. And ordinarily, that's no big deal, because there's five or six over there.
This one has a distinctive purple fork as opposed to the rest of the blue bike. And I immediately recognize this.
This one was my son's. And I walked straight over to the bike to find out what was going on, as there
was a piece of paper attached to it. Hopefully this would tell me, perhaps a case number or something.
So then, armed with that, I went in to go find out more about why this bike was there.
Turns out that the bike was being used by this individual while he was on work release from another portion
of our correctional facilities. And he had broken the rules over there, so to speak,
and had been brought back over to the main facility. And when they did, they had no clue about the bicycle,
and thought it was his. So they dutifully brought the bike back over and put it in a jail sally port, waiting for when he got out again,
so he could continue using it. What he didn't know, and they didn't know, is it was taken off my front porch about a month and a half
before we found it in the jail. It turned out that his obtaining this bicycle violated his work release opportunity.
So now he is at the larger house of better education for him. -Law enforcement officers are always looking for new tools
to do their job better. And when they become available, those new technologies are put right to work.
-But every once in a while, crafty officers invent new crime fighting tools right on the spot.
-Such was the case in East Stroudsburg, Pennsylvania, where something smarter than a smart bomb
was activated to capture a dimwitted crook. -Witness the genius in tonight's episode of we're
not making this up. -There's a local dumb criminal, we call him knucklehead, because we arrest him all the time.
He likes to hide, which makes it more fun. We find out where he's living, go to his house.
A girl comes to the door, she answers it. And she says that he's not living there.
But we already know that he lives there, that he's staying there, because his other girlfriend, that she
doesn't know about, has told us what kind of car that he has and where he's living.
So we don't believe her. She lets us in, we take a look through the house, and the only thing we find is upstairs,
two girls pretending to be asleep in bed. So we go back outside, hang out by the car,
have us a couple of cigarettes, and about 5, 10 minutes goes by. So we go back to the door.
I explain to her that we know he's in here, because while we were at the car, we broke out our brand new, space
age, high-tech, infrared, bio-detector scanner. Otherwise commonly known as a flashlight.
The next thing I know, here comes knucklehead, walking down the stairs. Oh, I give up.
I didn't know that you guys had those yet. He's the easiest guy to arrest now. You pull up in front of the house, honk the horn,
he comes down. He doesn't want to be scanned. And when he sees this, now we're going
to have to go chasing him around again. DEBBIE ALAN: [laughing] Well, we don't need a bio-scanner to know it's time to leave.
-Nope, we just rely on the guys behind the cameras, waving their arms. -But we'll be back next week with a new gang
of moral misfits. -Now, between now and then, check out our website at www.dumbcrimes.com.
-You can read other stories of state of the art dumbness, feed us tips on stories you know about, and more.
-Yep. And before we go, we want to thank you for joining us, and extend our gratitude to the law enforcement
officers who make this show possible. Every day they lay their lives on the line
to keep us safe from the stupidity of would-be criminals. -As always, we hope that we've all
learned from others' mistakes. -But, if you haven't, we just might see you next week
on "America's Dumbest Criminals." -Bye-bye. [music playing] [music playing] [music playing]

In this episode of “America’s Dumbest Criminals,” we’ll witness a bright mind throwing money like confetti, a robber new to the world of handgun safety and a thief who escaped without a trace -- except for an irrefutable video.

Crime is no laughing matter, except when the criminals are bumbling fools. Hosted by Debbie Alan and Daniel Butler, this show looks at lawbreakers through a humorous lens.

Brief Summary

This episode features absurd criminal antics, including a bank robbery with a water gun and a thief leaving fingerprints on a credit application.

Key points

The Water Gun Robbery. A bank robber uses a water gun and leaves on a bicycle, unaware of his blunders.
The Credit Card Application Caper. A robber fills out his own booking card while committing a crime.
The Clumsy Convenience Store Robbery. A robber's gun misfires, leading to a comical escape.
The Drug Drop Off. A drug dealer inadvertently drops off a bag of drugs to an officer.
The Stolen Bicycle Incident. A thief unknowingly returns a stolen bike to its owner at the jail.

Episode highlights

Episode quotes

Why would any man throw money around like it was confetti?

0:07WatchMar 10, 2022

Tension

30/ 100Low tension

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