I Had to STEAL my Dog Back! | Statute of Limitations hosted by Mike “The Situation” Sorrentino | Forensic Files

hey it's your boy Mike The Situation Santino welcome to statute of limitations it's the ultimate lineup
it's Cooks this is not my fault that I stole this car it's conman this is my chance I can be rich for life it's want
to be King Pins we all made together $500,000 and queen pins it was basically a lounge of
criminals these are stories of the nonviolent lucky punks and Robin hoods that Dodge the law I could have gone to
prison not jail prison because here's the situation baby it's only a matter of time before the statute of limitations
is up and technically you might walk away Scot free but don't take her from me guys I'm obviously no lawyer this is
statute of limitations what's up everybody it's your boy Mike The Situation sortino on
this episode we have a car collector of other people's cars and a young couple who took the law into their own hands
with the help of some FBI t-shirts you know the ones with FBI the front female body inspector on the back man what a
country they sell everything at Venice Beach let's get right into it here's a young New Yorker playing a real life
game of Grand Theft Auto in the Empire State though guys that's no joke here's Moses hey what's up my name is Moses I
ran a valet scam it was over 20 years ago it's beyond the statue of limitations so I want to tell you about
it so had a crazy ass childhood I grew up in a Time where you know crack cocaine hit the streets of New York and
it was decimating neighborhoods and households including mine a lot of times you know we went hungry we went without
heat we ate still food it was rough and for me everybody my heroes everybody looked up to was the neighborhood drug
dealers you know the fancy cars the beautiful women when I entered my pre-teen you know I'm selling drugs you
I hit the streets running you know that's what I did I always had a small man complex you know 20 years ago I was
a scrapper you know I like five five like 150 lbs back then Raymond that that was like my right hand like he was
strong as me he was fast as me we was 18 failing at being a weed distributor I smoked all the weed you know all the
pretty girls in the school smoked all my weed so there was our weed business so sitting there walk with my friend
Raymond down the street and we were desperate like white stuff in the corner of our mouth just actually hungry like
we don't even have energy to walk down the street you know you just like I I wish somebody would just like hand me a
bag of money well a bag of money just dropped from the sky so as I'm thinking this these crazy thoughts I'm walking by
this valet stand and I see this dude look just like me got you know at the time had braids had long braids had
tattoos everywhere and I see the exchange so I'm like hold up they just so freely just just giving it away like
like there's no problem you know what I'm saying she look him down and nothing thinking scheming I'm like yo I can do
that like you know mean start I turny to raing I'm like yo what happen if we just
had like the the valet uniform and start stealing cars and his biggest thing is like where we going to get him so I'm
think I'm think I'm thinking my girl Alicia Hunter mom's they make wedding dresses and suits and everything I'm
like hey I'm going hit up Alicia you know she going to put it together for me all right boom I'm thinking in my mind
we're going to stay in Manhattan in New Jersey but I didn't want to do the restaurants I didn't want to do
something small I want to keep it big just hit up like you know Broadway Lafayette you know we're shaking there's
a lot of valet especially on the Friday Saturday for big vents there was like four or five 10
agencies we walked past just the scheme on it as soon as we walk past valet dude
yelled at me and asked me why I wasn't valet and cars and that's when things went crazy cuz they actually thought we
was actually working so what we do we get to work so we're halfway doing the job for
me it was like an affirmation like oh I'm supposed to be here doing this he I mean so what we used to do is we had the
key to the car that we were stealing obviously cuz we were driving it and then we had the key to the car we were
bringing back so on the way back we picked up the car for Violet and so it was smooth so it wasn't like we were
just leaving with cars and not coming back or anything we was part of the circle of life
baby in the beginning I felt bad like cuz I was thinking my mom like you just giving me the key like you you know you
Ain going see his ever like you know what I'm saying you know after a couple joints after making some couple dollars
you know feeding some family I I didn't care like I was I was on it at the smaller joints you we would stay for
like an hour for me that was just like my limit cuz soon as we come back to the other car the first joint is gone so we
good money it so it's it's it's like clock work and then like you go up town you
know meet with this one dude and was getting paid about anywhere from like you know 3 to 5,000 per car depending on
what it was you know the biggest thing that you could steal back then was the Escalade with the double doors the all
black joints with the B surround system in there smelling like vanilla ice and I
even think about it we was stealing the stuff that was in the car before we can get the car like you know we was like go
go the glove boxes and stuff like that you know somebody had a couple dollars somebody had a gun before you know some
weed so it was like little gift prizes within the bigger prize and everything so it was good money I came back we was
the hood saviors you mean and ain't nobody went hungry that night it was steak and lobster like a mobster for
weeks like you know what I mean like people wanted spending their food stamps that month like for real everybody in
the projects we took them school shopping we able to help some of our friends start up legitimate businesses
and stuff like that when we started going to these bigger joints we talk we was getting like 15 20 25 calls you know
and it was just like in the same amount of time just moving shaking I remember this one night it was
this one dude and he had this old red Mustang like SE or something fast and furious in the face with it you know
revving up unnecessarily like next to us and so he looks at me he's like yo if there's one scratch on this this is this
is going to be your ass don't mess up my car the whole time that scene from Ferris bules day off we stole the fraud
went enjoy ride I was like I'm just going to hit the city hit the West Side Highway real quick a couple times like I
need some time with your car this one's personal I wanted to get him like you know what I'm saying yeah like you mean
that going see this you know what I'm saying so boom took the joint so I'm headed back to the site I pull up to the
valet stand be before I can even get down there I seen it just swarm with police B mad police like police
everywhere like somebody got bodied I'm like boom dude the muscle call he must have have some type of lowjack system on
you know what I'm saying I think I'm almost dooky on myself for real like I like literally
like I like wet farted on myself to keep it real I was like clenching my butt cheeks together dumb hard pulling up I
just see like I could have turn and just went somewhere else but for some reason
I just can't stop I was I was like paralyzed with fear like it was just like the new was down kind of get some
of the wet for out of there like I'm just like driving into this like I'm going to jail for Grand the father like
it's it's a rap it's over there he figur this out br bro that was way nasty man damn
Moses anyway so much for a clean getaway they should arrest him for giving us that visual right for Real come on is he
going to get popped or have an accident next on statute of limitations we are back guys with more
statute of limitations as Moses a guy stealing fast cars for some fast cash is about to have his career of crime come
to a screeching halt and he's in a stolen whip when he spots the cops ahead and he damn near causes an accident
check this out I pull up to the valet stand be I seen his just sworn with police be mad
police but for some reason I just can't stop I was I was like paralyzed with Fe like I like I just like driving into
this like I'm going to jail for Grand and father like it's it's a rap it's over it they figur this out so almost on
myself the window was down kind of get some of that wet for out of there and then I like went past the cop he like
looked at the car and I just had to throw in the white Bo how you doing just and they didn't even look at me they pay
me no atten you say hi back nothing like just let me go like they were like in their business I go around the back of
the parking lot I projectile the vomit I need some exist and just got out the car
and ran my ass to so I'm stressed out all night all night I know I like I know when my heart
that I'm going to jail like like I'm already in jail like I'm like Harding in myself like I'm in the mirror like
making my face look tough any given moment they going to bang down my joint for grant that F what do you know like I
don't know 7 8:00 in the morning knock at the door man you I live in a hood don't knock on my door like there's no
reason like if you know me you would just walk in like you know what I'm saying so my joy is just just just
beating out of my chest I'm almost at the point that I'm accepted of it like I'm almost ready to just go out and say
I did it you just take me away like you know what I'm saying like whatever I stood in front of the door for like it
felt like it was forever palms are sweaty and so last minute I just like concocted the story you know what I'm
saying I I'm a thinker at least that's how I feel about myself it was some [ __ ] ass story and I was confident
with I was like you know what I'm saying I open the door it's the police like everything is
is is done it wasn't like aggressive cop it was a detective clean cut detective and he says hey good morning sir this
would have been the friendliest arrest ever right like what the hell is going on say like he um we recovered some
stolen cars then I'm like like you're trying to hold on here and one of the cars happened to be
yours yo I forgot that I drove my car to there so D shot at me so they thought I
was a victim we never got caught it was just like it was just too close of a call you
know it was crazy crazy but I never did that again I look in retrospect I look at all
the crime look at the madness I look how I grew up and I don't I don't condone this I don't condone crime but the the
passion and everything that I have from it is like I apply it to legitimate legal things today I'm actually a
Salesman I've sell Kirby Vacuums I've sold gy memberships i s time share I'm a dad um I'm a grandpa I have tons of
friends I I love I do so that's what it is take it or leave it but that's my story I love this statue of
limitations Moses got the break he so desperately needed when he hit the breakes on his life of crime now here's
a life lesson if your parents ever told you you could be anything you want in life it's kind of true just ask these
next two people cuz they decided to impersonate a couple of federal agents a crime that could have earned them 3
years in the federal prison it's a story that involves a drug dealer a dog right
and one very lucky Duo here's Joe and Todd hi I'm Joe I'm Todd and in the early 2000s we impersonated Federal
officers and um committed Grand th and now the statute of limitations is up on this one so so we're admitting
this well we're going to tell you our crazy story crazy so yeah we met in college we were
both at the same bar and after a football game yep we won and a little embarrassing she was sitting next to me
while I was with my friends and we were having a picture drinking contest and I spilled little on her instead of
slapping me we got to talking and and the rest is history yeah we ended up dating for the rest of college and then
got out and got a place in uh Santa Monica together we loved our apartment it was
everything we dreamed of I put up fresh flowers I had my big screen TV and we even had room for our dog
Mac his friend Mike had a friend who needed a place to stay we were going on vacation and place was going to be empty
anyway and so and we needed someone to feed our dog he said okay let's hook him up and let him stay there so we get back
from our vacation which was awesome lovely and walk in the front door and everything is
gone worst of all he stole our puppy so I don't know if you've ever experience being robbed but there's no
feeling like it you feel violated you feel betrayed you're afraid to stay in your house just a punch to the gut man
you're constantly every noise you're wondering if somebody's in there if it's going to happen again now that they know
where you live even though there's nothing left to take this guy cleaned us out couch TV pictures off the wall
everything even our like dog bed was gone like it literally looked like a moving company had come in and
just we called Mike and we said you know what the f your buddy just cleaned us out and you know Mike was sounded as
shocked as we did but sympathized with us and was able to give us the address for where his buddy lived and so of
course we're hard charging we're going to go get our stuff back and so dog and our dog so we rolled over to this guy's
house and pounded on his door and then he answered and you know I was this close to Leading with my fist and and
asking questions after but you know we ended up intimidating pretty good and he unfortunately said that he owed his drug
dealer money and gave him all of our possessions who gives a dog to a drug dealer and that was the only way he
could think of to pay back what he owed now we're in a situation where he doesn't have our stuff but he knows who
has our stuff so we take it a step further and we get him to tell us where does his drug dealer live we tell him
now he owes us he owes us the name of the dealer and I smash a bunch of his stuff to show them we mean business
because in our minds we can go there to get our stuff back so I know it sounds crazy and at the time it felt crazy when
we got the address of the drug dealer but we wanted revenge and he had our dog so we we decided to take maners into our
own hands I don't know neither of us really has experience with drug dealers so we're trying to think of how can we get
our stuff back without getting ourselves into a dangerous situation and we're trying to come up with some kind of plan
you can't just walk in there as Todd and Joe I mean we need to be something scary
like the actual police or the FBI we do live near Venice and we have seen those t-shirts that they sell in the shops
those FBI t-shirts the female body inspector we got a couple and uh went to the costume store got a decent poster
with a lifik prop gun and aviators yeah agent dangle y That's who we were and I was agent Smith of course oh we printed
out a search warrant that we found on Google that's right and since we had the guy's name we actually put it on to make
it official yep yep so and we went and served him he was staying in Westchester in
this like really seedy place you look like a badass babe so we pounded on the door just like the movies then she
shouted federal agents and he answers the door and we kick it open and he falls back falls back this
scrawny little white dude what you doing first thing out of my mind is like low-level drug dealer he's clearly not
running the show lip quivering eyes watering and I'm like sit down Joe don't play Man I mean listen
the fake outfits the fake warrant these guys got balls right here it's about to go down this right here is a movie what
happens when two regular folks pretending to be the feds confront a drug dealer I love this I don't know
about you guys but find out on statute of limitations next welcome back guys to statute of
limitations where a brave pair of people Joe and Todd are pretending to be FBI agents with a dealer who's got their
stuff including their dog this right here we're done to playing around so while most people would have just called
the cops they took the law into their own hands I love this right here guys now we're about to find out why they
made the perfect call check this out first thing out of my mind is like low-level drug dealer he's clearly not
running the show lip quivering eyes watering and I'm like sit down we know what you've been doing we
know who you you are we know who you run with we know who you sell to we have been watching your sorry ass for months
and we got you you're throwing jargon out there cross state Distributing intent to sell you money
laundering I mean you're giving him the laund waving the warrant around a little
bit so so then I decided I'd be a little good cop and start talking to him while
I yeah I took off through the rest of the house looking for our dog looking for our stuff I I called out to Mac
didn't hear him bark but I did see you know drug paraphernalia a gun on his desk actually
which is a little frightening it was a good thing I didn't know about the gun cuz I was going full Dangle on Mr dealer
I was saying like do you know what they do to guys like you in federal prison they will turn you into Burger you will
sideways keeping them distracted you know what I mean uh I looked in the bedroom looked in the kitchen uh tried
went through closets I did not see any evidence of our stuff unfortunately but in his bedroom I looked in the closet
and there was a safe he left the safe open and so when I looked inside there was a decent amount of cash in there so
you know I said to myself if we can't get our stuff back I mean he's got to compensate it somehow so there's I
pocketed all the cash and walked out and I showed her the money and I had to have
a look see so I quickly looked around the apartment and uh what did I find in the closed back
bathroom yeah Mac our P yeah he was happy to see us we didn't get the dog bed back though but we got our dog no so
on the way out holding our dog our dog I said you're we're still watching you we're going to be watching you we know
this isn't your dog though so if you don't want another felony on your record we're taking no you could be free but
I'm taking the dog right for a couple weeks we wondered like did anyone see us leave was the
dealer going to come after us you know fortunately for us we never heard from Mike's friend or the drug dealer again
did get enough money to put a decent upgrade on our place I mean we got a a new love seat new couch a
TV uh I got new PlayStation Matt got a new dog bed Matt got a new dog bed got dishes and enough
money for a second dog yeah little lucy at the time it felt good I don't regret getting my dog back but I we
would never do something that stupid again in hindsight if it had been someone else on the other side of that
door we probably would have been dead or severely hurt or in a lot different situation yeah yeah the real FBI isn't
going to be pounding on our door no once that time expired and we aren't stupid enough to do it again no ever no never
or let anyone spend the night at our house now that we have nice and uh that's our story
I'm pretty sure guys if Big Daddy s tried to impersonate an FBI agent today the feds would come for me really really
hard but Joe and Todd pulled it off be sure to check out some more stories of everyday folks confessing some crazy
crimes I mik the situation Santino reminding you being F guilty and feeling guilty are two very very different
things trust me guys peace this program is for entertainment purposes only and it is not legal advice
the statute of limitations are complicated and depend on many factors if you need advice you should seek legal
counsel from a competent attorney in your [Music] jurisdiction yeah [Music] yeah

A couple seeking revenge are determined to make a drug dealer regret stealing their dog. He will soon learn that he messed with the wrong couple. A man, who posed as a valet driver and stole cars, received a visit from the police in the early hours. Hosted by the iconic Mike “The Situation” Sorrentino, Statute of Limitations pushes the boundaries of justice as individuals confess to non-violent crimes that have long surpassed the statute of limitations. Each episode features the stories of those brazen enough to confess their secret crimes. New episodes of Statute of Limitations will be posted every Friday and Sunday at 5:00pm EST. If you’re ready for more crazy stories, brought to you by Mike “The Situation” Sorrentino, comment below and be sure to hit that like and subscribe button!

Brief Summary

Moses steals cars in New York; Joe and Todd impersonate feds to retrieve their stolen dog.

Key points

Moses' Valet Scam. Moses shares his wild story of a valet scam that turned into a life of crime.
Close Call with the Police. Moses faces a tense moment when he spots police while driving a stolen car.
Joe and Todd's Bold Plan. Joe and Todd impersonate federal agents to retrieve their stolen dog and belongings.
A Close Call with Danger. Reflecting on a risky encounter that could have ended badly.
Lessons Learned. A reminder about the consequences of past actions and the importance of safety.

Episode highlights

Episode quotes

I could have gone to prison, not jail, prison!

Moses reflects on the gravity of his past actions.

0:45WatchFeb 23, 2024

Tension

70/ 100High tension

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