America's Dumbest Criminals - Season 2, Episode 22 - Dress for Success - Full Episode | Forensic Files

hi i'm daniel butler welcome to another edition of america's dumbest criminals [Music]
do on this episode of america's dumbest criminal a drunk does some local landscaping no i'm just doing a liquor
store i was just gonna get a beer a crook takes an unusual pit stop a burglar dresses for success
a suspect has the last word down at the station [Music] all this and more on this week's episode
of america's dumbest criminals here's your host daniel babum with the help of infrared technology police were able to
capture a couple of car thieves who were on a long road to nowhere an armed couple had stolen a car and led
the police on the long chase through the dark countryside you can see them toss a
bag out of the window and continue on down the road where they soon stopped and decided to make a run for it the
girlfriend had worn high heels a big fashion faux pas if one is planning to run through a cow pasture and proceeded
to bite the dust every few feet until they made it into the woods where the police and canine units caught up with
him a few minutes later when police picked up the tossed bag they found the nine millimeter pistol
drugs the title to the stolen car signed over by the crooks to themselves and one
of the suspects driver's license that he had accidentally dropped in there during
all the excitement they're leading a much quieter life now behind bars [Music] let me paint the scene for you it's a
quiet sunday morning in an average indiana residential suburb the peace and tranquility are broken only by the
familiar buzz of a lawnmower somewhere in the distance at least that was how it had been until
our intoxicated outlaw cut a new path of destruction across the neighborhood the 57-year-old boozer had a record of
drunken conviction as long as the garden path when he was finally apprehended he
allegedly told the police he was on his way to buy a six-pack of beer but was too drunk to walk
with a bit of luck a little time and detention will trim his need to drink and garden and remember
friends don't let friends mulch drunk some dumb criminals don't feel like one or two clues or enough to leave behind
so they spell it out for the cops like this next genius we call robert bob bobby
as we drove along we'd been notified earlier that evening in briefing that there was a
a rash of coin operating machines being burglarized in the area a particular car wash on the corner
that we were watching out for and uh during the night we had been checking on it periodically
and the weather got a little worse so we went off and checked some other stuff went back and noticed some footprints in
the snow and the footprints went up to every paper machine and door in the shopping center
kept foam around they went behind the business follow them around the business follow them across the street again and
into a neighborhood [Music] where we found a screwdriver with a name on it named bob so we kept walking and uh in
the middle of one of the streets we saw the name robert in big letters robert bob you know maybe they're
related something in the snow so we kept walking and finally got to a house footprints right
up to the house into the backyard where we found two pairs of shoes with snow on
went around in the front knocked on the door asked if we could speak to robert it was it was the right one it was
robert we took care of it [Music] this next segment follows the trail of two drunk burglars who robbed a gas
station then after getting lost had to stop and ask for directions what they didn't realize was that this
was the same gas station that they had just robbed a short time before the attendant was on the phone to the
police when he noticed the thieves making their way over to him they didn't seem to recognize him and
immediately asked for directions to a hotel in the area he helped them let's go hurry come on
then he got back on the phone with the police he had no sooner put the phone down when
the two men once again returned and asked if he could give them a boost because their pickup won't start
he offered to call a tow truck and immediately got back on the phone to the police
five minutes later the men were picked up by the police and towed off to prison free of charge
[Music] we get many stories from officers who come across dumb criminals while off
duty the next crook was especially unlucky he made the mistake of attempting to rob
a police officer and a friend of his who was a bouncer the goon ran up with a gun
and told the men to give him their money the bouncer nonchalantly leaned forward
and took the gun from the thief throwing him to the floor you see he recognized the weapon it was the same toy that he
had just picked up for his kid a couple of days earlier not only did this idiot try to hold up
two trained professionals but he tried to do it with a cheap water pistol i guess when it comes to crime he's
still a bit wet behind the ears and now crimes of the week with daniel butler and beaumont bacon i'm daniel
butler and this is beaumont bacon the leopard queen hello daniel hi beaumont i'm starting the show with an officer
who had one of his fantasies come true daniel this is a family show no no not that kind of fantasy see this particular
officer was investigating a rash of bicycle thefts in the area a prime suspect was eventually discovered and
had agreed to come down to the station voluntarily for questioning volunteer yeah
yeah it only happened in a small town well about an hour before the interview our officer got another report of a
stolen bicycle he went over and got all the information then quickly headed back
to the station to meet up with his suspect you mean he actually showed up well as the officer drove into the
station parking lot his suspect rode in on a bike exactly like the one that had just been stolen you are kidding me nope
upon closer inspection the officer discovered that it was indeed the bicycle and quickly arrested him
what a story that was interesting well this next officer had similar luck he was in plain
clothes on his way to work one night when a car pulled up right beside him right there the driver asked if the
officer wanted to buy a solid gold bar for one hundred dollars hey jump on it yeah that's quite a deal
i know that's what the officer thought and offered to take a look at the merchandise which he quickly discovered
was fake of course the crafty crook then opened the trunk of his car and revealed
all kinds of stolen goodies on special that day a lot of two for sales an officer had a coupon
and he told the guy that he had some gold of his own he wanted to show him and quickly showed him his little gold
patch there said you're under arrest can you imagine the going out of business sale he could have had
been fighting over those gold mars and everything in the trunk isn't let's go must go which brings us to the video
of the week an officer arrived on the scene of a call and was told by the caller that the people down the street
had stripped his car many of its parts and that he wanted them arrested the officer took down the information
including the vehicle registration number from the dashboard of the stripped car the dispatcher ran the
number and radioed the officer that the car had been stolen by the same man who had registered the complaint
hmm the law can be so confusing can't it i'm sure he thought he was making a good
point yeah to match the one on his ear no pointy head [Music] police often find very bizarre clues at
crime scenes but there are few to match this one it's the case of a brainless burglar who
got caught not only with his pants down but off police in klamath falls oregon responded
to a burglary call they missed the burglar but not what he left behind his pants and his wallet which was laying on
the ground beside them kidding me look at here oh this guy made it easy for us apparently he had burgled the home in
his unmentionables and left his trousers before fleeing the scene of the crime our bare-bottomed burglar was quickly
arrested and fitted with a pair of prison issued pants complete with a complimentary set of silver bracelets
this next surveillance tape shows a dumb burglar in michigan who thought that breaking into this little summer house
would be a cake till it kicked back the owners had installed a security system that caught this guy as he made
preparations to break into their house he casually surveys the area and picks up a long pole thinking he can use it to
pry open the door when that doesn't work he decides to try using his brute strength gives the door
a little kick and then another and then a big kick that knocks him to the ground
and forces him to ponder the thong if a dumb criminal falls down in the forest would anyone still arrest him
as a matter of fact they did called in on a robbery of a photo developing shop this daily city
detective was questioning the shop's owner when he was presented with a proposition
we had a robbery of a photo mat one of those drive up photomat stores and we were investigating as you know as to
who the possible suspect was and getting all the you know information and description of the person
as we were walking away the clerk says well do you want his name and we turned and we said
yeah do you know who he is and the clerk says well yeah i think so because he's got some film here
and we said what are you talking about she said well what happened was this guy that robbed me just now he's the one
that came in a week ago and dropped some film off so he filled out you know return address and she said i recognized
him i thought he was coming back today to get his film except he robbed me today
once taken down to the station our photo finished felon was presented with a different set of free prints
fingerprints sometimes during a hard day's work we all just want to crawl under our desk
and take a quick nap who would know probably no one unless you're this dumb criminal
seems that this rem rod decided to break into an apartment one afternoon to pick
up a few things instead of going to one of those stores that actually makes you pay for them
he came in through a window made his way around the room he heard someone come in
and immediately hid under the bed the tenants found nothing unusual when they got home and went about their day
a couple of hours later as they were watching tv the tenants heard some horrible noises coming from their
bedroom but couldn't find the source they called the police who came over and discovered our sleeping baby under the
bed snoring like a chainsaw they found only two items on him a hair barrette and wig both valued at about a
dollar should make for an interesting mug shot down at the station after a car chase in texas that ended in
the arrest of two men the driver was being held for outstanding warrants and theft the military officer on the arrest
was told they could not hold the passenger so after taking his home number he let him go
later further investigation uncovered that the passenger was a wanted murderer out of belmead county
having his home number the officer decided to take a chance he called the passenger and told him
that he could come and pick up his friend sure enough our criminal mastermind entered the lobby of the police station
who you call him so come pick him up hey wait a minute okay what's the song yeah
hey you said i could just come down and pick him up and that was all saved man the officers arrested him and he was
promptly reunited with his fast driving bump buddy and now a story about a burglary suspect
who shows the cops just how dumb he can be after a rash of burglaries in the area the police arrested a suspect and
were questioning him about those anything about either crimes on this list and you flat because they got
nothing on me i think he's telling the truth this guy is strictly small potatoes he's too
stupid to be pulling off these jobs this is the work of a pro insulted by what the detective had just said the man
grabbed the list and started pointing to every job he'd pulled he also went on to
name his partner now he's stupid gee that's a tough one officer bennis tells us about a security
guard who started the new year off with more of a whimper than a bang this was a new year's eve dwi road block
they had about seven officers out working a dwi road block set up they had over 100 feet of flares set up and as
the officers are standing there working their site they noticed this car slowly driving through all the flares
well the car gets up there and they stop well they notice the guy driving's in uniform
so they get a little closer and they see that he's a security guard a security guard uniform and they ask him you know
why are you running through the flares he said well i really didn't notice the flares i'm really sorry i was on my way
to work and i wasn't paying attention and suddenly i was just sitting here and all these burning flares are around him
and the officer said well okay once you step out of the car and could you hand me your baggie of marijuana
and he had a big baggie of marijuana laying next to him on the seat it turned out the reason he didn't see
the flares is he was rolling a joint as he was driving down the street then suddenly he looked up and he's in all
the flares so he stuck the joint in his pocket but forgot he left the baggie laying in the seat next to him
[Music] a truant officer in nashville tennessee sent us this story about a hold up
suspect who didn't hold back the officer had been advised by dispatch to be on the lookout for a vehicle
believed to have been used in an armed robbery moments later the suspect vehicle was spotted and immediately
pulled over stop get out of the ground get on the ground haven't i seen you somewhere before you
look awfully familiar yeah i'm the kind of one but you want we have so many of them but
stand up what do you supposedly wanted for uh lots of things lots of things sure enough it was him our wanted poster
boy was number two on the top 10 most wanted list down at the station gosh if only the rest of the criminal
world would be so cooperative [Music] this next real surveillance tape shows a dumb criminal who made a rather unusual
pit stop during a high-speed chase a man in a stolen passenger van led police on a wild pursuit through the
streets of los angeles he managed to stay ahead of them for quite a while until he noticed a camera
crew standing off to the side and decided to stop by for a quick chat [Music] officers were more than a little
surprised by the camera hog's move and were able to catch him a few blocks later
they fulfilled his desire to be on film by taking a full set of mug shots down at the station smile
we'll see you next week on america's dumbest criminals on the next america's dumbest criminals
yeah most of you guys are right lousy actors a man adds more than sugar to his coffee a yuletide burglar gets caught
with his pants down here a loser picks the wrong place to light up stoner makes an indecent proposal to
a cop hey what's going on guys hey what's up wow all this and more on the next america's
dumbest criminals just last year we had a dui checkpoint that's a drunk driving checkpoint we had a long line of
cars that obviously were waiting to pass through this checkpoint and finally when this one particular vehicle
came through the officers did what they normally do they run the license plate make sure that the person has you know
california driver's license it's valid and as they ran the license plate found out the vehicle had been reported stolen
what happened was i guess this subject had stolen the vehicle 15 minutes earlier was driving
through daly city uh saw the checkpoint you know he was motioned to to pull over
so he sat for 30 minutes in this long line instead of abandoning the vehicle and taking off or whatever
he just sat there and i guess he assumed he was going to get through the checkpoint because he wasn't drunk
[Music] you

In this episode of "America's Dumbest Criminals," a drunk does some local landscaping, a crook takes an unusual pit stop, a burglar dresses for success and a suspect has the last word down at the station.

Crime is no laughing matter, except when the criminals are bumbling fools. Hosted by Debbie Alan and Daniel Butler, this show looks at lawbreakers through a humorous lens.

Brief Summary

This episode highlights absurd criminal antics including a drunk landscaper and a burglar caught asking for directions after a robbery.

Key points

Drunk Landscaping Disaster. A 57-year-old man wreaks havoc while drunk, claiming he was just getting beer.
Toy Gun Robbery. A thief attempts to rob a police officer with a toy gun, leading to his capture.
Self-Reporting Suspect. A man reports his own vehicle stolen, only to be arrested for the crime.
Pantsless Burglar. A burglar leaves his pants behind, making it easy for police to catch him.

Episode highlights

Episode quotes

Friends don't let friends mulch drunk.

A humorous take on a drunk criminal's landscaping mishap.

2:54WatchFeb 17, 2022

Tension

30/ 100Low tension

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