America's Dumbest Criminals - Season 4, Episode 17 - Collared Criminal - Full Episode | Forensic Files

tonight on america's dumbest criminals does consumption of alcohol make a person seem more mature and
sophisticated how far will a k-9 officer go to collar a suspect running wild and does this look like your tax dollars
at work join our posse as we set out in hot pursuit of america's dumbest criminals
[Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] wow [Music] now welcome your host for adc daniel
butler and debbie hi howard got a little statistical trivia for you oh wait is it that 90
acres of pizza are consumed every day no well is it that 2.4 million americans play
the accordion no but i used to oh really well that explains a lot right there yeah i didn't intend for you to do no no
no wait is it eight out of ten winners in presidential races have been taller than
their opponents would you just let me finish well but no but because that sort of kind of cuts down on the chances that
i'll ever have to call you president debbie you gotta just stop because the trivia
isn't about any of those things all right well then i guess you stumped me okay is that another short joke no
according to a recent report cameras are among the five most attractive items to
thieves i knew that i knew that i also knew that frozen foods are rarely ever taken that's why you should do as i do
and keep your cameras and video equipment in the freezer no they'll never work again but at least
he'll be safe this public service reminder brought to you by someone more honest but not much
brighter than the camcorder thieves you're about to see you're talking about me no look they have no one but
themselves to blame that they were caught on camera i was assigned a burglary case
where a house was cleaned out it was basically like movers had gone into the house wasn't anything left the victim in
this particular burglary had a family member that went to a pawn shop and noticed a
camcorder and she called me and said that she had located her camcorder in a pawn shop
and i asked her how she knew it was her camcorder and she told me because the eldridge
family reunion tape was still in the camcorder and of course her name was eldridge and so it's pretty sure thing
that it was her camcorder and when she got home she was watching her family reunion tape and it had the suspects on
the tape where they'd recorded over her family reunion tape they were talking about all the good
stuff that they've got out of the house gold and other ridings they were walking
around filming the other family members that were sleeping [Music] and i'm not real sure if they even knew the
camera was running or not because at one point they set it down and the camera continued to run and and
pan over the floor and everything but you could still get the audio of um you know them talking about the burglary
that they've just done i just found out where the lady lived and the same people
that were on the tape came out of the house they deny that they had any involvement so i
brought them in and showed them the tape and there really wasn't a whole lot they
could say after that we were all laughing about it and couldn't believe that they were dumb enough to record
themselves talking about stealing the property and then leave that same tape in the camcorder and
pawned it it was a real easy case to work [Music] you've heard the clothes make the man
well in this place they made him as in they made a positive identification here's how a limited wardrobe can
severely limit your future it's a fashion tip from the closet of something to remember me by
about six years ago one of my patrolmen had made a motor vehicle stop and the driver ended up
being a suspended driver now part of the processing for suspended drivers we take a polaroid picture of the driver
when it came time for this suspect to come to court and answer the charge he never showed up so the court had issued
a warrant for his arrest about uh about a year ago another town had picked up this suspect
on our warrant and called us we arrested him brought him back we're processing him he
denied ever being in mountainside denied ever being stopped that was not him who was arrested it was
not him driving the car and what happened was he ends up going before the judge and he's still denying that it was him
well sure enough we pull the folder out and we take out the polaroid and not only do we show him
yeah here's your picture of the day of the stop buddy this guy ends up wearing the same shirt
this is the gentleman we had that day even his friend sat in the back of the court and said
you're a dummy for two of us not only do we have them back then with the same the golf shirt on he comes back to court
the second time years later with the same shirt looks the same exactly the same throughout the ages we have been
entertained by great comedy teams like burns and allen rowan and martin siegfried and roy they're not in the
same category well yeah okay maybe not to you but well our next video finds a police officer playing straight man to a
guy so full of himself and booze that we'll be checking in with him twice during the show oh at least ladies and
gentlemen we hope you enjoy these comic stylings caught on camera coming to you from an emergency lane in pinellas park
florida catfish is one of those kind of video tapes that you just gotta see i mean there's not a whole lot explanation
even the deputy that did the interview on the roadside the number of times i've talked to him
will tell you it's something he really can't hardly explain you just have to see the video the video takes place off
a dash cam where he brings the subject in front of the cruiser and he begins a very professional interview with this
guy but he is so blatantly drunk all right i'm asked to take a couple tests for me
you're going to try those tests walk that line always why don't you give it a try i'll
stand back here i can't you can't why not [Music] well one reason and i drunk man
if you're drunk what are you out here driving that truck around here in this field what what is that other truck
uh catfish what about that truck man i didn't do nothing wrong get your truck stuck out here in the
field you're out here driving a truck and you're drunk you could have run you could have run in
somebody's house yeah no look at you look at you yeah look at me what are you doing
driving a truck in that condition trying to do what he did what who did catfish your buddy yeah i'll tell you
what we're gonna go we're gonna do two separate tests you know what's your level of education
i got 20 years of education i graduated 10th grade twice okay you graduated 10th grade twice yeah and
so you've got 20 years of education yeah [Applause] [Music] in illinois it's a class 4 felony to
eavesdrop on your own conversation how would that work anyway in the training academy police officers
are taught to never take anything at face value and that's particularly good advice when officers come knocking in
pursuit of a suspect behind the door you'll find one of america's dumbest excuses
[Applause] we went to go serve a warrant on an older lady and my partner and i found out where she
might be staying at so we walked up this house where she was supposedly at we walk up to the door this guy comes
walking up and he just sticks his nose out and he goes what do you want and i said well i need to talk to susan
and he says well susan's not here and i said well her car's here and he says well
i don't yeah she's not here then i hear a female in the background going who is it like this so i i said who's that in
the background he goes well that's her daughter amy she's in there go get her we're standing there waiting for and she
keeps saying just a minute i'm not decent and pretty soon here she comes walking out and
she's got shaving cream over her entire face i'm her daughter the girl we're looking for is in her 40s
you know she's kind of an older lady and i walk up to her i said all right what's
your name again and she says well i'm amy i said well what's your relationship to
susan and she goes well i'm her daughter but i told you i'm not her i'm really not
i said really i said how old are you she gave me a date of birth that made her 18. what's your date of birth um
july 3rd what year is that um we started asking her questions and my partner already was just shaking his
head you know he knew well i'm not her really i'm not so we just start playing the game look we know it's you but i'm
not her really i'm not sure we know what you i'm not her what is this it's my beauty ache well at the same
time she was baking cookies as we were asking questions to her i'm not her really i'm her daughter she's standing
over the oven you ever seen that movie mrs doubtfire that's exactly what it was like and then as she's standing over the
heat of the oven her face which is like a menthol shaving cream is starting to melt you could smell it and it was
dripping on the cookies and pretty soon we just had enough of it we just said uh susan we know it's you
just knock it off and finally she just says but no she goes i'm amy she just kept doing that
after her face was almost all the way melted off we're just like now turn around put your hands behind your back
and she just said i'm sorry i lied i didn't want to go to jail have you ever groused the government is
robbing me blind well the hand in the cookie jar may not be uncle sam's it may be one of his scheming nephews we found
an underhanded government servant who was appointing himself to be custodian over a lot of funds here's our blue
light special watch closely and you'll see a court clerk who is confident he knows the best
thing to do with the money received from court fines that's right fold it up and
put it in his pocket after all why should serving the public ventures take a back seat to personal
gain and he only took a few seconds off from his appointed duty to stuff his own
coffers but government bigwigs don't like it for the little guys to pocket the docket money our seizures indicate a
net net worth of about 350 000 dollars which if those assets are liquidated available for
restitution his misdeeds earned him a return to familiar surroundings but instead of
being a bit player he was the center of attention it's time once again to return to
pinellas park now as you'll see our roadside comedian isn't running out of material let's check in with the man who
proudly calls himself catfish's best friend your head's going to be tilted back slightly and your eyes are going to be
closed and keep your eyes closed the whole time you can recite it just like this a b
d e and so on okay can you do that sure b close your eyes c d e f g h i j k l m o p
i just in case you fall down i don't want you i'm gonna catch you oh thanks man that's more than catfish would do
i need to i need you to face towards my car okay that's your car yeah all right i want you i want you no i just stand
there face towards my car there you go you can have your feet tied together i'm drunker than the skunk i ain't hurt
nobody [Music] hang on to that we'll sit down on the ground here no set that on the ground sit down like
this man no no but then hold on to it then turn around backwards that's a good hat man all right didn't say it wasn't
do you feel the effects the alcohol you drank tonight no no no no in your opinion are you under the
influence now clock badge right now oh you could fool me i'll take that as a sarcastic yes
and now with news just shoveled from the stalls of the prison farm here's daniel
with adc headlines [Music] a man in texas was given the option of paying 9 600 in damages to avoid being
put behind bars on robbery charges and he went with option a but he paid up using a forged check oops
okay now because he signed his life away he's now serving 10 years instead of six
months fourteen hundred people in boston thought they were being invited to a job
fair but it was actually an equal opportunity shakedown by the police department to round up suspects on the
lam 102 people responded to the letter they received in the mail for high-paying
construction jobs but soon they discovered they had only dug themselves in a hole
picture this you and a friend decide to take a drive on a tennessee back road late at night you drop the top on your
bmw convertible and then because you're both drinking you decide to let your buddy drive and oddly the fact that your
friend is blind doesn't bother you yet they crashed and both were charged with dui and the moral of the story as given
by the fellow behind the wheel never let a blind man drive truly towards the lookout
and that closes the file on abc headlines news rips from somewhere near the back of your local newspaper
jeb meister how far would you go to avoid getting a ticket well there's a lady in carlsbad
new mexico who's willing to beg plead and even crawl in hopes of getting off without a citation will she find mercy
or just a run in her hose let's find out in our special delivery i was doing a traffic stop i stopped a
woman she was in her mid-50s i stopped her near a rural road there was rocks and
stones near the road and i advised her that her tail lights were out she came out and she came out the class of jeff
jeff foxworthy type person who came out smoking a marble cigarette and she goes they're out
ah square wow so she gets down she has a red dress crawling on the rocks and dirt
her running running and everything she was leaning over she was fixing her lights with a cigarette in her mouth
flashlight on her shoulder she's like that she's fixing it and stuff and i go man you know might
want to wait or something put out the cigarette because she's there under her tank
you know trying to fix her her tail lights and stuff and she fixed them finally and she left
you can do this kind of thing there's not much to it she picture lights like in that those conditions i let her go
k-9 units are often sent in when it's not safe for officers to roust a suspect usually the four-legged comrades are
sent running through the woods or into large buildings to sniff out their prey but this time it's likely the pooch felt
right at home it's time for doggie cat a guy was doing some residential robberies in a neighboring city we went
up to assist on a search after he crashed his truck and ran out on foot into a wooded section the
dogs searched for three hours looking for this guy in the woods couldn't find him we went down on the beach and
started looking up the cliffs the dog was alerting way up high on the cliffs finally he found a set of stairs wooden
stairs that one of the residents had built so that they could get down onto the beach so we went up met with him
finally we got into the backyard and he went into the backyard immediately found a dog house and started to bark at
the dog house i thought he found another dog looked inside and there was the bad guy hiding
inside the doghouse with a cushion held up against the opening so the dog couldn't get in i told him he was really
in the dog house now in oneida tennessee an ordinance prohibits anyone from singing the song
it ain't going to rain no matter how many times we explain this the point doesn't seem to sink in the
purpose of a getaway vehicle is to get away but it's a nuance that seemed to be lost
on the confederacy of dunces in our final story see how a stick up gets messed up as we go to ocean city
maryland for we're not making this up got a call for a bank alarm at the exchange and savings bank got to the
bank saw a couple guys in orange jumpsuits leaving figure people aren't leaving a bank
where there's been a robbery but he watched him cross the street and get into a u-haul truck when they tried
to take off a truck just jumped it's not a smooth escape and he figured well this is another false alarm these
guys didn't look like bank robbers apparently he went up to the bank got inside found people handcuffed the people the
banks of the guys in the orange jumpsuit just robbed us he went out chased them saw the truck still bucking north across
the highway got into an alley which it was too big for the men abandoned the truck he
checked the cab found a woman who didn't know how to drive the truck still in there he chased one of the men
caught him handcuffed him we recovered the money and these guys went to jail well it's about time for our getaway but
remember if you've got a lead on a story or you just can't wait till next week for more state of the art stupidity
visit our website www.dumbcrimes.com we want to thank you for joining us and extend our gratitude to the law
enforcement officers who make the show possible every day they lay their lives on the line to keep us safe from the
stupidity of would-be criminals as always we hope that we've all learned from others mistakes but if you haven't
we just might see you next week on america's dumbest criminals goodbye [Applause]
[Music] you

In this episode of “America’s Dumbest Criminals,” we’ll witness the consumption of alcohol making a person more sophisticated, how far a canine officer will go to catch a criminal running wild and your tax dollars at work.

Crime is no laughing matter, except when the criminals are bumbling fools. Hosted by Debbie Alan and Daniel Butler, this show looks at lawbreakers through a humorous lens.

Brief Summary

This episode features humorous criminal blunders, K-9 heroics, and the effects of alcohol on behavior.

Key points

America's Dumbest Criminals. Join us for a wild ride through the blunders of America's dumbest criminals!
Caught on Camera. A family reunion tape becomes evidence against burglars who recorded their crime!
The Shaving Cream Incident. A suspect tries to hide from police with shaving cream on her face!
The Getaway Gone Wrong. A robbery ends in chaos when the criminals can't escape properly!

Episode highlights

Episode quotes

Wow, you’re a dummy for two of us!

0:34WatchMar 10, 2022

Tension

30/ 100Low tension

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