America's Dumbest Criminals - Season 4, Episode 10 - Half-Ton of Trouble - Full Episode | Forensic Files

tonight on america's dumbest criminals is this the mark of a fender bender or a new kind of hit-and-run
shouldn't they have expected a half ton of trouble when they took their tailgate
party on the road and in a pickup of another kind do you notice anything unusual in this
surveillance video watch closely tonight as we huff and we puff and we blow the cover off of
america's dumbest criminals [Music] wow [Music] now welcome your host for america's
dumbest criminals daniel butler and debbie hour hi there hi welcome again to america's
dumbest criminals yep we've got a great show so drop whatever you're doing and um just i'm really sorry excuse me i'm
sorry yeah you know we're right in the middle of a tv show yeah go ahead go ahead hi
yeah no yeah we just started okay once again we have scoured the country in search of
profoundly foolish criminal acts sure to bring a smile to your face yeah kid two
percent or skim damn daniel come on yeah uh love you too okay i'm sorry it was a very important call
bruce my agent some people want me to do a thing all right either you do that thing or you
be on america's dumbest excuses no no that's okay i'm sorry where were you go perennial all right i was about to
introduce the first story all right go ahead that's good okay remember the aw you felt as you watched the first walk
on the moon there were no words to describe what you felt well there are no words to describe the picture you're
about to see so fortunately for us it was caught on camera well one mid morning in late october we
received a report from a major um computer component manufacturing plant their security called us and said there
was a suspicious person in their parking lot so of course we sent units out to the scene to check it out
to our surprise once the officers got on the scene we found a man dressed in black bra black panties and a pink tutor
not to mention high heels it was inside the parking lot they were checking out cars once our officers approached us man
security and the police had to take foot pursuit to this man had to chase him through the parking lot uh outside the
plant and they went to a residential neighborhood once the officers just about got up to the suspect
he climbed over a wall and in doing so he broke the heel well of course our officers went around went through the
house went to the yard and we arrested the man i guess the moral of the story as far as
the way the guy was dressed was you must wear flats or tennis shoes don't wear heels but everyone's asked me why is he
dressed like this i guess sometimes a guy just likes to feel pretty usually you go to a car lot and kick the
tires when you're checking out a new vehicle well we found a situation involving a minivan that got out of hand
and out of foot and it's indelibly marked as something to remember me by myself and another officer we responded
to a local restaurant uh for a criminal damage to property report someone had kicked a van that belonged to the
restaurant and left a rather large dent on the side of the band door we spoke to the owner of the restaurant
the owner of the van and he advised us that just minutes prior he had engaged in an argument with a subject who had
come into the restaurant they had his argument there was some swearing and hollering back and forth we went to the
suspect's house spoke with him the suspect came to the door first thing i did was
look at his shoes to see what kind of shoe he might be wearing unfortunately he wasn't wearing any shoes so he
invited us into his house to talk about the matter he admitted being at the restaurant he admitted being
engaged in his argument however he denied any involvement as a last resort i asked him what kind of shoes he was
wearing when he went to the restaurant he brought me some work boots out of another room
i took a look at the work boots and again with nothing else going for us i kind of paused for a second and told him
that maybe a good idea if he put some clothes on come down to the station and talk to us because the shoe
print on the van looks similar to the uh the boot that he gave me at which time he replied
aha he said that's bull because i wasn't wearing these boots when i kicked the van but i was wearing these and he
walked into the kitchen and brought me a new pair of sneakers which matched the shoe print on the van
perfectly and he was subsequently arrested for picking the van and now he's kicking himself
[Music] once upon a time americans look to radio to entertain them yeah yep and then we
came along now i'm not much to look at but unlike radio at least i can move radio delivered great shows like the
lone ranger fiber mcgee and molly and the shadow who knows what evil lurks in the heart of men well for the answer to
that question we look to a surveillance camera hidden in an antique radio take a
look instead operation we had a storefront a business where we put the word out on
the street that we'll buy stereos and tvs and car stereo stuff like that and anybody can come in and just sell it
to us and we had put cameras various cameras in the storefront and one of them which was in a uh
a radio and this guy was one of the first customers we had in there he came right in there and i'm standing
behind the counter he looks past me at the at the radio and points at it and says
i know what that is which scared everybody i said what do you mean you know what
that is i know exactly what that is and i said that's an antique whoa we looked at the radio he didn't
know the camera we were happy after that [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause]
in prescott arizona it's illegal to ride your horse up the stairs of a county courthouse
[Laughter] i suppose if you were in a real hurry you'd try riding your horse almost
anywhere well our next offender was certainly in a hurry but you may find that you sympathize with this fellow
more than most people caught breaking the law here's a heartfelt example of america's dumbest excuses
one afternoon i was working traffic between oregograndi new mexico and el paso texas i pulled over a
vehicle who was running extremely fast and the guy jumped out of the car he ran back to
mine which startled me and he was just kind of like this and said officer please
i've got to use a bathroom so bad if you will follow me into our granny to that standard gas station i'll take any
tickets you give me please let me go to that gas station i said sure i'll follow you in
so i followed him about 25 30 miles into our granny at speeds too fast to mention
as soon as he jumped out of his vehicle he made a mad dash for the men's room with the
standards he uh ran in shut the door and i walked up relatively close to the bathroom and i
could hear and understand his problem about five minutes later he came back out with a very satisfied look on his
face said officer i'm ready for those tickets now and i said partner been there done that
this one's on me i fully understand your problem have a good day now i would like to recite a porn that i
wrote at camp when i was but a boy goes something like this beans beans good for your heart
gives police in pursuit a logical start i i may have messed up a few words but i
think that was pretty close and it's pretty close to what happens in this blue light special
[Music] five guys hungry guys decided to break into the deli here fifth street deli
and steal about 35 pounds of food that was in separate containers they they went back out the same way they came in
and had to duck under the broken glass door and in doing so they dumped the food trays across the street all the way
to the steps of their house i came down to the deli met with the officers the witnesses
they showed me the damage to the store and then they gave me the tour of the various food items that led from
the deli across the street to the suspect's house the trail consisted of paper bags and
pop cans of pop the main thing that we fought was this trail of beans all the way back to their
house i then went back to the police department and prepared a search warrant for the residents since that's obviously
where the suspects were and probably most of course some part of the food items themselves we went inside the
house and asked them if they had seen or heard anything that went across the street last night of course
they denied it when you're interviewing one of them had spilled the potato salad down in front of him
and the other one had some amount of coleslaw or something in his hair you know it's quite obvious in the
refrigerator was one of the large steel containers that contained the remnants of potato salad
they had no explanation i mean they tried to point fingers at that point of time
but based on what we found in the house which was the different food items it was a little bit difficult for us to
believe that none of them were involved next time ishmael they call dominos they
deliver okay maybe you've heard this joke before what do you call a bus full of lawyers
going off a cliff that has just one empty seat a shame sorry to all my lawyer friends well our
next story has all those elements except for the lawyers the bus and the cliff but there may have been room for one
more person in the back of this truck bound for destiny take it away river oaks texas i get the call that we have
an injury accident on the south side of town and i was closest motorcycle officer to it so i take the call and
i get out of the fast lane five lanes each direction i got 100 miles an hour lights on siren
going i looked in my rear-view mirror and here's his truck coming up behind me i looked on it i'm doing 100 miles an
hour i looked mirrors again yep that truck is gaining on me and not only gaining was gaining quickly i looked
down my strobe lights around i got a million candle power strobes facing each direction this guy's got to see me and i
said he's coming up fast enough i'm worried that he's even going to run into me at this point in time
so i look and i look and they get up behind me they're honking the horn honking horn they're waving their hands
out the window and stuff like this they come around me on the right hand side and they're drinking beer and throwing
cans out the window they wave and smile it's just unbelievable how this scenario went down i just couldn't
believe it i called on the radio tell my supervisor on this patrol shift i said this is
what's happening explaining the story and he said stay with us these folks here i'll get patrol officers take care
of the accident for you it takes about five miles to get these guys off the side a little bit i thought
it took a really dumb criminal to catch up with a police motorcycle hit a hundred miles an hour when that police
motorcycle had his lights and siren on it was really unusual situation [Music] and now with news is a man who is to
journalism what austin powers is the dentistry here's dan with adc headlines it took almost no work to flush out a
man who repeatedly called 9-1-1 to complain that his toilet was overflowing and flooding his home he called seven
times demanding that a deputy be dispatched to his house well he got his wish and a citation for abusing the
response system nine minutes after being freed for serving a five to fifteen year sentence
an ohio man was bounced back behind bars the reason his irritable buddy who picked him up
his chum threatened to guard then drove off with mr newly paroled in a stolen vehicle then when police stopped the car
they discovered the driver was an ex-con with a suspended license all right well because the paroled man
wasn't supposed to associate with anyone who had a criminal background both landed in jail after nine minutes
when a columbia tennessee woman returned to her home late one night she found a window broken out of her door and a
stranger sleeping on her floor according to reports he was so intoxicated that he didn't even wake up
when an officer arrived the responding officer was quoted as saying we like to catch him this way passed out really
makes our job a lot easier and that closes the file on abc headlines news rips from somewhere near
the back of your local newspaper debbie [Music] she said that she knew everybody in the
police department in bristol township pennsylvania but if that were true why did this lady of the evening do what
she did it provides a perplexing chapter in the feature we call special delivery
this case involves the apprehension of a prostitute our undercover officers had been monitoring
an area where prostitutes frequently loitered and engaged in conversation with motorists three undercover officers
actually pulled up next to a woman who was walking down the street they suspected that she was a prostitute and
they engaged in conversation they asked her if she wanted to party she said certainly and she entered a vehicle with
three undercover police officers okay yeah we're going to have a good time and they start negotiating in the price for
their prostitution related activities one of the three officers who was inside the vehicle was actually wearing a
police badge and when the suspected prostitute entered the vehicle he actually had to conceal it
she doesn't realize it but they are driving right to the bristol township police station they continue to talk as
they travel as they are pulling into the police station she is actually laughing
with the undercover officers and she remarks that i know a lot of people who work undercover here well she is in the
car with three undercover officers they pull right up to the back door of our police station the gig is up or she is
placed under arrest but she laughed enjoyed the trip negotiated a price with three officers
who actually drove her right to the bristol township police department as i vividly demonstrated earlier the
great thing about cell phones is that people can always get you and as you're about to see the bad thing about cell
phones is that people can always get you see what i mean we had two of our deputies were chasing
a bad guy through the woods they momentarily lost sight of him he had laid down in the brush and they couldn't
find him and they were sitting there trying to figure out which way to go and how to how to find him when the bad
guy's cell phone rang so they were able to find him in the woods they even heard
him saying hello on the phone talking on the phone so they were able to find him
and arrest him now let's look back at one of abc's greatest hits from the year 1997
now actual hidden surveillance cam footage of an above average crime here we see our dumb criminal he's doing
a drug deal there the hat is off the drug deal is done the officers are closing in now the dump criminal flicks
the drugs right at the arresting officer now he flashes his innocent smile who me
now he appears to make himself look larger to scare away the four men with loaded weapons let's see that again on
instant slow-mo replay there he flicks the drug almost hitting the officer the officer has him out of
the car there's the innocent smile and now he's going to appear to become larger is he five feet tall is he six
feet tall no he's seven and a half feet tall but i think he can kiss that basketball
scholarship goodbye unless of course he's going to the sec in this surveillance cam footage an
officer proves you can't count on the dumb criminal who can't count this is a hidden camera of a drug deal
going down the man on the left is an undercover narcotics officer the man on the right is a dumb criminal
unfortunately the dumb criminal is the one counting the money outside eight swat team members are
ready to make the arrest as soon as this dumb criminal finishes counting his money
okay he lost his place again now as soon as this man finishes counting the money
the swat team will move in okay okay now i think he's finished counting the money
yes okay he appears to be leaving now the swat team comes in forcing him to use a calculator
in hood river oregon juggling is strictly prohibited without a license we had a call one night we got there and
it was involving two shims and shims are two guys that dress and act like girls and we get there the one she's
complaining that she wants him out because he was using drugs and everything so we asked him where the
drugs were her drugs right around that corner right there so we go out there and we look can't find
it come back and we say are you sure he goes officer i swear her drugs are over there because mine are inside
you're drugs we go in there sure enough we lift up the bay and there it is there's drugs we got pop we got his
crack cocaine everything right there underneath we didn't get the other guy because the other guy threw all his out
we couldn't find it over there but she sure enough gave us hers we don't usually do sweet stories on
this show personally i like them but you know old blood and guts debbie now she's always clamoring for bigger
crashes more shootouts sleazier by squad sting she's a dictator like a little napoleon only shorter i mean i don't
think you're buying this are you well okay all right being an old softie i lobbied for this story instead of taking
you to the mean streets tonight we're taking a stroll down sesame street it's a cute little addition to we're not
making this up [Music] i was dispatching one day and 9-1-1 rang i answered 9-1-1 emergency a little boy
was on the other end crying and he was frantic saying the garbage cans on fire the garbage cans on fire and he hung up
on me so i called back and his mom answered and i explained what had happened asked
if everything was okay and she said i'm so sorry he's watching sesame street and oscar's garbage can is
on fire so there's not a problem in the house it was on sesame street [Music] i love a happy ending oh me too and we
have an opportunity to give our viewers one now if we say our goodbyes right now
well thanks so much for joining us tonight if you've got a lead on a story or you just can't wait till next week
for more state-of-the-art stupidity visit our website at www.dumbcrimes.com we want to thank you for joining us and
extend our gratitude to the law enforcement officers who make the show possible every day they lay their lives
on the line to keep us safe from the stupidity of would-be criminal as always we hope that we've all learned from
others mistakes but if you haven't we just might see you next week on america's dumbest criminals
[Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] wow [Music] [Applause] [Music] you

In this episode of “America’s Dumbest Criminals,” we’ll witness the mark of a fender bender or a new kind of hit-and-run, a half-ton of trouble when a tailgate goes on the road and a strange pick-up on a surveillance video.

Crime is no laughing matter, except when the criminals are bumbling fools. Hosted by Debbie Alan and Daniel Butler, this show looks at lawbreakers through a humorous lens.

Brief Summary

This episode features bizarre criminal antics, including a man in lingerie and a humorous 9-1-1 call about a burning garbage can.

Key points

A Bathroom Emergency. A speeding driver pleads with an officer to let him use the bathroom, leading to an unexpected outcome.
Undercover Surprise. A suspected prostitute unknowingly enters a police vehicle, leading to her arrest.

Episode highlights

Episode quotes

Sometimes a guy just likes to feel pretty.

Commenting on a man's unusual attire during a police chase.

3:14WatchMar 10, 2022

Tension

30/ 100Low tension

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