America's Dumbest Criminals - Season 3, Episode 6 - Restroom Robber - Full Episode | Forensic Files

NARRATOR: Tonight on America's Dumbest Criminals, do you think there's any chance you'd mistake this criminal
for Jackie Chan or John Claude van Damme? Just what does this guy think he's doing in the women's restroom?
And is breaking into someone's car really a good way to meet girls? The answers to these and other mind numbing questions
are in tonight's line-up, right here on America's Dumbest Criminals. [theme music]
-When are they gonna come out with a CD of that music? I love that music. -You mean the soundtrack album?
-That really dates you. -Well, I dunno. 8 tracks. I mean, come on. Good evening, and welcome to the show.
-Tonight we've got a little bit of everything for you. -And we're starting things off with a tribute to one
of America's favorite movies, "Singing in the Rain." -No we're not. -Yes we are.
Well, you've seen the surveillance footage we're about to show. -Yeah. -Didn't that remind you of "Singing in the Rain?"
-No. It doesn't. -No? -Sure it does. -No. "Singing in the Rain" had Gene Kelly dancing up a storm,
and Donald O'Connor dancing up a wall. -Yeah, yeah, sure. And this clip looks just like that Donald O'Connor scene,
except that the crook is dancing up a door. -I don't think so. -Well, all right.
If not "Singing in the Rain," let's see if you'll buy a fairy tale instead. Check this out.
NARRATOR: Just as the big bad wolf huffed and puffed till he blew the pig's house down, this would be criminal kicks,
and he kicks, and he kicks some more to try to kick his way out of a Tampa department store.
Hey, that was a halfhearted effort. But does the door open? Not by the hair of this robber's chinny chin chin.
Maybe it's time for this not so big and not so bad wolf to give it a rest. -See?
-Not so big, and not so bad. OK. OK. -It was choreographed. -Yeah. -I mean, maybe he wasn't like Donald O'Connor,
but he did make them laugh, right? -Oh, sing more. -No. -Make 'em laugh. No. -OK, it did make them laugh, but that is all I give you.
-OK. -All right, now we turn things around. -OK. -Turn around. -What? All right.
-From a break out in Tampa, Florida, to a break in in Annapolis, Maryland. This guy was no state of the art criminal,
but he did find himself on the cutting edge of this crime. -I was investigating a burglary one Monday morning,
and the inside of this three story office complex in downtown Annapolis was covered in blood.
We really expected to find a body in this building, but we didn't, thank goodness.
We learned that the burglar had climbed over a appointed rod iron fence and broke a glass window,
and cut himself pretty bad, and started passing out inside the building, and gave up looking
for whatever it is he wanted. And when he left, he hoisted himself over the iron fence,
and crashed right into the ground. As we were doing our investigation, one of our records clerks came across a report
of an injured person that happened the weekends that we believed the burglary happened.
We had a name, and we found the other person had done previous burglaries in North Carolina.
The person was also at our local hospital, so he was pretty easy to find. Inside the burglary, one of our crime lab techs
told me that he had found a bloody thumbprint. Well, we matched that thumbprint up to the person that
had been injured at the hospital. When he was released from the hospital, I interviewed him.
Sitting at the table, he pretty much clammed up. I asked him about the burglary.
He said he knew nothing about it, and wouldn't tell me anything. Didn't even want to talk to me.
I noticed that he did have a scar, a pretty fresh scar on his arm. But next to that fresh scar was an older score.
-Boy, that's a nasty scar. How did you get that? -Oh. I got this scar down in North Carolina
at a burglary I did down there. It bled real bad down here, but did you see all the blood
I left up here? -Mm-hm. -So I just began writing, and got my confession. Now, that's a dumb criminal.
-Some criminals make it easy for the cops sometimes. -They do. Well, never show your scars, you know?
Now, the ideal job for many of us would be one where you're paid for not working, right?
-Which is what you have! -Hey, I'm breaking a sweat here, OK? Look. -Unless you--
-[inaudible]. -Unless you enter politics, I don't think that kind of position exists.
But our next crook thought he found the secret, but he was wrong. Very wrong. See what I mean.
NARRATOR: You wouldn't think it unusual for a custodian to provide a little routine maintenance on the time clock
at the school where he worked. But this wasn't little, routine, or maintenance. He regularly manipulated the clock to make time fly,
and in the process, punched up his take home pay for hundreds of hours he didn't work.
-Some, not all, but some custodian and custodian helpers are feeding at the trough because no one
is watching them. -Once we caught Mr. Damon and confronted him with that video, he admitted that he was stealing between $5,000 and $6,000
a year that way. They feel that they can cheat the system when they want, or how they want.
NARRATOR: Oh, but they are being watched, by millions of people, right here on America's Dumbest Criminals.
America's Dumbest Laws. A Texas law states that when two trains meet at a crossing,
each shall come to a full stop, and neither shall proceed until the other has gone.
-That's a law. I think I've sat in my car at one of those railroad crossings. Well, in just a minute we'll be heading
to our blue light special involving a video voyeur who completely embarrasses themselves.
But first, here's this week's edition of America's Dumbest Excuses. Now, this story involves a woman in Abilene, Texas
who was caught speeding. She claimed that she had to go to the bathroom-- and believe me, she was fully prepared to provide evidence.
Bear with us, here. -I radared a lady doing 80 miles an hour in a 40 zone, and when I went up to contact her after stopping her,
she immediately started cussing at me, and swearing, and said the reason she was going so fast
is she was in a hurry to get home and use the restroom, and continued swearing. So I went back to the car to write her a citation,
and got back up there, and the lady had pulled her dress up around her waist, and was urinating
in an empty bread sack. I had to step back for a minute, but I went ahead and handed her
the ticket and let her signed it, then, uh, I took the book, but I told her she could keep the pen.
And that just appeared to make her even madder, and she began swearing at me again.
But I wished her a good day, and let her leave at that time. -Gosh. What our fine police officers have to put up with.
I think I would have just paid the fine and kept my big mouth shut. Daniel, will you please change subjects for us?
-Yeah. An empty bread sack? I just-- aw. Well, I can change the subject, but only marginally,
because we have to go to the bathroom for our next story. But it's an entirely different crime scene, OK?
Watch as this voyeur gets caught in his own trap. Here's tonight's blue light special.
NARRATOR: This man is not just an electronic peeping tom. He's a perfectionist. Look how he fusses with the camera he's hidden
in the stall of a women's restroom. Turn it this way, now turn it that way. More up.
More down. Now switch sides and start all over. His camera was disguised in this beat up box.
Obviously the guy wasn't exactly James Bond when it came to taping. Heck, he wasn't even Richard Nixon with Linda Tripp.
But he was definitely deep into his deviant scheme. Notice how he daintily drapes toilet paper across the box.
But his plot boomeranged on him. Instead of catching unsuspecting women, he caught himself with plenty of videotaped evidence,
which is anything but flattering. -Well, this guy obviously has a serious kink, and I think it involves bathrooms, to say the least.
He takes a great deal of pride, of pleasure in getting into bathrooms and placing video cameras in such
a position to catch women when they're in their most private of moments. In fact, we believe that on one or two occasions,
he was actually in the stall adjacent to the women using the bathroom, and zooming in on them at just the right,
or wrong moment, depending on your point of view. He has a problem, and I'm glad we finally caught him.
He says he's done this more than one time. Now, right now the new law makes this a misdemeanor,
being caught one time. However, if he's caught again, it becomes a felony. It's voyeurism.
NARRATOR: If he tries this stunt again, the law will put him somewhere it'll be a long time
before he finds any bathroom privacy. -OK, that went by kind of quick, all right,
so you may not have spotted that tiny inconspicuous camera that the man was using.
Let's roll back so you're sure to see that. Yep, there it is. Yeah. That tiny camera in that box the size of a microwave.
Now, ladies, if you walk into a stall and you see a box like that next to the toilet,
just go to the next stall, OK? All right? Remember that tip. -He could fit the camera and the cameraman in that box.
-Mm-hm. -I'll never go to a public restroom again. Thank you, Daniel. Well, they say that a dog is man's best friend,
but I think this dog in our next story should consider expanding his circle of acquaintances.
Or maybe the two are just bad influences on each other. Let's watch. -A dog got picked up running at large,
and was placed in the animal control shelter. -Day or two later, the owner of the dog came into the shelter,
except he came through the window when we weren't here. I guess he felt he didn't want to pay the fines.
-But we didn't have any way to prove it. A few weeks later, the dog was picked up again.
-We figured if he was foolish enough to come in once, well, we set up an alarm inside the building.
When he did come in the second time, well, he set off the alarm. -That morning we got a call that the alarm we had set up
had gone off. -As he left the building going out through the back door, why, an officer was there to greet him.
I can't believe someone was so dumb that he wouldn't pay the few dollars' bail to get his dog out, and then end up
in jail and paying a considerably larger fine to get out of jail. -Coming up is our latest blue light special,
but right now with news that'll make great small talk at your next job interview, if you're going after a really
dumb job, here's Daniel with ADC Headlines. -A man broke into a Niagara Falls clothing store
and made off with a load of designer jeans. The next day, on the other side of town,
he had the misfortune of approaching the owner of the shop and her son on the street
about buying his duffel bag of dungarees. Upon examining them, her son recognized that they were
an absolute steal, and he held the would be street vendor while his mother called the police.
A bank robber in Philadelphia entered a laundromat hoping to use the change machine to trade
his red dye stained greenbacks for something a little less conspicuous, but the machine refused
to comply with his money laundering scheme, repeatedly rejecting his red hot bills.
A laundromat employee alerted police, who arrested the man so he could be hung out to dry by the courts.
Police in Lewisburg, Tennessee spied a 10 gallon tub of marijuana plants, but they didn't have the staff on hand
to support a stake out and capture its owner. So instead, they confiscated the not so secret garden
and convinced the local newspaper to print a picture with the caption "Have you lost a tub of marijuana?
If so, you may claim it at the Lewisburg police station." To their amazement, the owner appeared
to claim his prodigal pot. This is a true story. And that closes the file on ADC Headline News, ripped
from somewhere near the back of your local newspaper. Debbie? -Thanks, Daniel. We like it when criminals make it easy for the cops, huh?
OK, you can predict things will go downhill when you hear where our story starts.
A man tried to rob a drug rehab center and barely gets 12 steps out the door before trouble ensues.
Police are called and follow in hot pursuit. Actually, it was more like lukewarm pursuit,
given the snail's pace at which the man was traveling. Watch this police surveillance footage,
and we think you'll see what we mean. NARRATOR: He took off in a pickup truck, leading officers
on one of the slowest chases in history-- at a staggering 8 miles an hour. The chase was so slow, in fact, that police had time to build
this apartment complex to block his path. And what a fine job it did. He took off on foot, and the building took a hit.
But soon the crook was taken down by a police dog. -You know, what do you do if you have
outstanding fines and no money to pay them? Well, this woman in Winslow, Arizona
thought she'd come up with an outstanding solution. But she was wrong. See how her outstanding solution brought
about her incarceration. -A couple of years ago I was dispatched to the local courthouse to take a report of two forged checks.
It turns out that a woman had owed a big fine, and she had paid on her fine with two
stolen cashier's checks. It didn't take long for us to catch her, because she had paid at the local courthouse,
and she later confessed to the whole thing. -Real smart, huh? She used stolen forged checks to pay her fine at the courthouse.
Let's say it together-- two wrongs don't make one right. All right girls, admit it-- sometimes we
make it hard for guys to get to know us. We play hard to get, or put all the pressure on them
to make the first move, huh? Well, the guys you're about to meet thought they were being clever, but they
were being criminally dumb. See how their quest for dates dropped them into the pits.
-We responded to a vehicle theft in progress in front of one of our local stores.
As I arrived, I see the car in the parking lot, all the doors are open, and it's sitting
out in the middle of nowhere. Find the victim and several of her friends, teenage girls,
there. As I came out, there were three guys in the car that they didn't know. When they tried to approach the car and talked to the guys,
they all bailed out of her car, jumped in their own car, and left. The guys had kind of trashed the car,
threw some stuff around, and the driver pulls her day planner out. The first thing she noticed was there
was writing on the cover that wasn't hers. She said, hey, this is a guy's name, and I don't know this phone number.
I don't know whose it is. So we get a cell phone and call the number, and we put the girls on, and they talk to him.
The girl finally asks him, well, what's your address? Maybe we can come over to your house and party some.
So the guy gives them their address, me and several other officers climb into an unmarked car.
We follow the girls up to this address, and we let them get ahead on us. They get out and start talking to the guys.
We pull up and come bailing out of the car, and they're all looking at us, like uh-oh, what's happened?
We arrested the three guys that were there. We're like, hey, man, what's up? Why are you breaking into these girls' car?
Well, you know, we wanted a date. Since they couldn't get a date on their own, we kind of gave them a date with a judge.
NARRATOR: What happens when a man users livestock to make a laughingstock of his girlfriend?
The answer when America's Dumbest Criminals returns. -We all know that breaking up is hard to do,
and this edition of We're Not Making This Up is living proof. -Or in this case, not so living proof.
-See what happens when this guy messes with the bull and gets the horns. -Well, this goof decided that he wanted
to get back at his ex-girlfriend. So he got a cow's head from a local meat market
where a buddy of his worked, and he placed it on the hood of her car. So in investigating it, we went back and tracked him down,
and it appears that he has a new girlfriend now, and used her car. Then when I talked to the new girlfriend and found her,
she had no idea her car was being used to transport a cow's head, and had no idea what her new boyfriend was up to.
We were going to arrest him for stalking, but we didn't have enough to charge him on.
So we charged him with littering for one thing, moving the cow's head out there.
It's been the dumbest littering violation I've ever seen in my eight years of law enforcement.
-OK. Well, now, obviously no cows were harmed in the filming of this dumb crime.
-But that guy used a real cow's head. -Yeah, he did. -Sick. Did he kill the cow?
-No, actually, it died of natural causes. Yeah. -That reminds me of "Fatal Attraction."
-Yes, sort of. But it's time for us to head on out. -Aw, that is terrible. -Well, what?
Should I have said move along? -No. -All right. -You should have just said that it's time to go.
-All right. Come back next week, when we'll have a whole herd of new criminal dumbness on display.
-Stop with the bovine humor. -I can't stop. -And if you've got a lead on a story,
or you just can't wait for more state of the art stupidity and dumb puns, visit our website at www.dumbcrimes.com.
-Want to thank you for joining us, and extend our gratitude to the law enforcement
officers who make this show possible. Every day they lay their lives on the line
to keep us safe from the stupidity of would be criminals. -As always, we hope we've all learned from others' mistakes.
-But if you haven't, again, we just might see you next week on America's Dumbest Criminals.
-Goodbye.

In this episode of “America’s Dumbest Criminals,” we’ll witness a criminal you might mistake for an action star, a man caught in the women’s restroom and a guy looking to meet girls by breaking into cars.

Crime is no laughing matter, except when the criminals are bumbling fools. Hosted by Debbie Alan and Daniel Butler, this show looks at lawbreakers through a humorous lens.

Brief Summary

This episode showcases ridiculous crimes, including a slow police chase and a voyeur caught filming in a women's restroom.

Key points

America's Dumbest Criminals. Tonight's episode explores the ridiculous antics of criminals caught in the act.
A Dog's Loyalty. A man breaks into an animal shelter to rescue his dog, but gets caught instead.
The Slowest Police Chase. Watch as a man leads police on an incredibly slow chase in a pickup truck.
Cow's Head Revenge. A man uses a cow's head to get back at his ex-girlfriend, leading to bizarre charges.

Episode highlights

Episode quotes

Well, I dunno. 8 tracks.

1:17WatchMar 3, 2022

Tension

30/ 100Low tension

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