America's Dumbest Criminals - Season 1, Episode 26 - Bad Luck Brown - Full Episode | Forensic Files

this is an adc warning the crimes you're about to see are true only the names were changed to protect
the ignorant [Music] do [Music] tonight you'll meet a dumb criminal with really bad luck
surveillance cam footage of a man pilvering pork chops and a dumb criminal who was just faking it
all this and more on america's dumbest criminal [Music] welcome to america's dumbest criminals
i'm daniel butler our constant study of the criminal mind has led us to formulate several truisms regarding the
criminal mind such as the buses don't go out that far and the lights are on but nobody's home
join us now in scraping the poop from the shoes of justice as we open the files on america's dumbest criminals
first up retired captain don parker starts a trilogy on a dipstick bad luck brown
we called him bad luck brown which of course was a made-up name but i'm telling you it was one of the most
accurate descriptions that you could find for someone because the guy had terrible luck most of it self-created
the first time that i had any occasion to deal with him came when he decided he was going to knock over a liquor store
it's going to rob a liquor store he walks into the liquor store place is really busy doesn't want to create a
commotion so he takes out an envelope and writes a hold up note give me all your money this is a stick up i've got a
gun slides the note across the counter to the clerk who reads it her eyes get wide she takes all the money out of the
cash register stuffs it in a paper sack hands it across the counter he takes the
money feeling very proud of himself runs out of the store the problem was that he wrote the hold
up note on the back of an envelope he had just received the day before from his probation officer so he had his name
address and zip code a relatively simple matter to run over to his house and pick him up within a
half hour of that robbery a major setback for some but bad luck brown doesn't give up easily i was an
investigator in those days we got some information that some people were going to knock off a motel gonna rob the motel
so we had the place staked out we had deputies inside the motel we had people at either end of the parking lot myself
and three or four others were lined up in the woods facing the front of the motel right in the middle of the
stakeout comes this raggedy old station wagon driving across the parking lot and
stops we wonder if this is our guys he gets out walks over under a street light we recognize him it's the guy that we
call bad luck brown what is he doing he walks over to an unattended lawnmower that some maintenance guy had left out
on the side of the building grabs the lawnmower takes it back to the station wagon lowers the tailgate throws the
lawnmower it's stealing a lawnmower in front of about 18 cops jumps back in the car and of course the supervisor said we
you know we can't let them drop off with a lawnmower so the other two deputies pull up we're chasing him as we're
running we can't catch him i decide enough is enough i'm going to fire that proverbial warning shot to slow him down
i pull my gun out pow i fire a shot into the ground it didn't exactly do what i hoped it
would do because it scared all the other cops all the deputies hit the ground but
it did work because badlock tripped over one of the deputies sprains his ankle and that's how he caught him some people
learn from their mistakes bad luck brown learns to make dumber mistakes by far his most successful
way of earning his title came some years after that he decided to break into an auto parts store and steal a bunch of
batteries car batteries this is the middle of the summer time down here in florida it gets warm i mean it's
probably 90 degrees even though it's nighttime car batteries are not the lightest things in the world they weigh
what 20 30 pounds each the guy is absolutely drained loads the whole back seat of his car up by time he gets
finished he's exhausted collapses in the front seat car won't start he's got a dead battery
and the guy is about half drunk he goes nuts he's out there screaming and cursing and pounding on the hood of the
car we'll guess what the lady hears all this young calls the cops i'm the first one on the scene and i see this drunk
out there screaming pounding and cursing trying to get his car to start with batteries with a back seat load of
car batteries that's bad luck brown [Music] adc quiz number 382 two shoplifters in a florida bridal shop
attracted so much attention they were easily caught how were they noticed were they
a loud and obnoxious b clumsy and awkward or c large men dressed as women the correct
answer was c here they modeled the fall look for two large guys paul recalls how a crackhead made a
fashion statement in zip it it's dumb but used and quite frequently to search a suspect
and uh pull several pieces of crack cocaine out of his pocket first words out of their mouth is
these ain't my britches they don't even fit i don't know whose these are you mean
tell me those aren't your britches you're wearing i found them whose riches are they
they're my cousins so whose jacket are you does this belong to you no no man i don't care that look this isn't even my
jack that's my brother's jacket he let me borrow it this is not my jacket it's not my britches it's not my
underwear wherever it's found it's not mine i don't care it's not my back now from the adc security cam vaults a
story we call dipstick the woman posing as a prostitute is an undercover officer the
man in the truck well he's a dumb criminal after he propositions the undercover officer he realizes he doesn't have any
money then he gives his best excuse my mechanics yes this dumb criminal just said he
can't go with the woman right now because he has to get his oil changed at least his priorities are in order
you know i'd always heard that there was something women like about a pickup man
now we know he had to get his oil changed clean oil daryl price of charlotte recounts the
story of a knothead who was faking it we had a guy file a police report that he had been beaten up and robbed
and when we did the interviews his robbery that he was describing to us at that time didn't match what he had
described in the report and you know as we catch on to those things pretty quick
because there's a lot of fake robbery reports out there i started questioning him harder and harder basically becoming
an interrogation and finally he broke down and admitted that he was off with a girl another girl other than his wife
when her husband had caught him and given him quite a bump that wasn't the problem problem was how
was he going to explain to his wife how he had been beaten to you know practically to death
so he made up this whole robbery thing just to appease his wife [Music] later on tonight's show a dumb criminal
who was sucking more than air [Music] [Music] next up drunk driver with his brain out
of gear gets tested in one for the road david shepler in tampa florida responded
to a routine traffic call he found a car smashed against a guardrail shepler found the driver still sitting behind
the wheel apparently unfazed our officer suspected the man had been drinking that's not it i need to see your license
please huh oh it's my boy you like baseball can you step out of the car from me please
are you intoxicated sir no no i'm not have you had anything to drink tonight no not a drop off oh yeah sure huh yeah
i think you have been drinking and i'm going to administer a field sobriety test to you
uh okay jones is this your correct address on here what are you i just told you i'm going to administer
phil somebody to what are you doing i heard you what are you doing i do much better on tests if i've had
a little something to drink are you ready now are you sure test me baby are you ready
take me home okay let's go [Music] in new york it used to be against the law for a man to flirt with a woman but
it was okay for men in uniform to harass cameramen now two guys with a wet nap for a brain
lose their pants and swing shift i was working the midnight shift up in the north nashville area
and we received a silent robbery alarm and i proceeded to the scene and when i pulled into the
parking lot i noticed this subject come out the door and with a cash drawer in his hand and
he fell in the parking lot and his pants were down around his ankles so i i approached the man and arrested him
and i went in to ask him what happened and there was cash drawers and money laying all over inside and they said
that these two subjects came in the one man that i had his pants kept falling off and he kept
pulling them back up and he got the cash drawers and when they went to go out the door
the one with the gun went through the door first and as the door came to it hit the cash drawers and all the money
went everywhere in his pants he let go of him and they fell down around his ankles and he fell in the parking lot
and he was arrested for armed robbery when i arrested him he said i guess i should have bought a belt before i came
over here [Music] now we take you inside the courtroom for trial and error from actual courtroom transcripts a dumb
criminal participates in the shortest trial in the history of the world mr smith you've been charged with grand
theft auto how do you plead guilty or not guilty um first judge um let me tell you
why i stole that car you see stay with this live grenade [Music] later tonight an encounter with an
actual fire breathing dumb criminal on america's dumbest criminal [Music] next up a car thief with a short supply
of synapses gets restrained and always wear your seatbelt like any safety conscious motorist
dwight ketchum put on his seat belt before driving off unlike most motorists however the car he was in
didn't belong to him a passing patrol car witnessed the theft and gave chase [Music]
[Applause] after a few minutes of weaving through traffic at high speeds and still not
being able to shake the squad car ketchum decided to abandon the stolen vehicle but dwight couldn't leave the car our
dumb criminal was apprehended while he was still struggling to get out of the stubborn
stop seatbelt i said stop stop from the abc security cam vaults pilfering pork chops
here's a man closely inspecting a package of pork chops notice the date and time
that's right it's new year's day at 4 14 a.m but now it's your job to catch this guy
where'd he go oh no he's not over here he's no he's not in seafood he's not down
here come on he's the only guy in the supermarket the boss is gonna have my job if i don't find this guy i know he's
got the pork chops now maybe i shouldn't have gone to that new year's eve party on the loading dock no
do it there he is well either he just ate all the pork chops like sushi or he's got him down his pants or under his
jacket i've got to get him this guy should have made a new year's resolution i won't steal pork chops today
next up paul muller gives us the naked truth about the men who were gone in a flash well this uh tale goes back to the
early 70s when streaking was in vogue a lot of college kids were involved in that sort of thing
and one night i was working plain clothes and i went to a restaurant downtown and
i was sitting there eating and there was quite a few people in the restaurant and all of a sudden some people were
i could see they were jumping and hollering about something that was going on when i looked up from my
food and the two guys ran right past my table the only thing they had on were their
shoes and their underwear over their head and i was shocked i hadn't seen anything like this before
of course i heard i'd heard about it well they had a getaway car in the parking lot the first guy got to the car
and was able to open the door he put his foot in the door and hollered go so she floored it
the guy the second guy hadn't made it to the car yet and he's running this fella just ran on across
the street up into the bushes and uh luckily we had a police car several blocks away
the uh the car was stopped and we we made the arrest on that particular individual the other one had made it up
in the block and although we did look for him for a while we never did find him but the first guy
was able to tell us who it was with him and the man that got away walked along all night long with just his underwear
and his shoes he made it home about six o'clock in the morning it was scratched all up and uh the
police were waiting on him to arrest him at that time for that nice hats [Music]
in oregon it used to be against the law for a man and a woman to ride in a car alone
because the men would never ask for direction [Music] next up roy williams has an encounter
with a fire-breathing dumb criminal i had a walking beat years ago in one of our
uh club areas i guess you would say and as i was walking down i saw this boy sitting in a car
and he was smoking a joint of marijuana and as i walked up to the car i said hey
what are you doing nothing man i asked your question what are you doing can't you talk to me what are you doing
waiting for my girlfriend and it got to burning so bad that he had to spit it out
and i put him in jail for marijuana with a burnt tongue and everything that's hey and one week just
and it was gone ah this is his birth and it stuck on his tongue and lit it up [Music]
next up a bank robber takes a short ride to the big house in the robber with a lemon the staff of the greenback bank
was surprised when a man came in and demanded money the tellers complied the man had thought
not to take his own car but to take his work car on his lunch break but he was surprised at how quickly he
was apprehended but no one else was as the arresting officer said how often do you see a big chicken going down the
road back a doodle dumb [Music] it used to be against the law to appear in public with loose shoelaces but as
they say in maine better to be nude than unchewed well that's all the time we have for
this show we'd like to thank the men and women of law enforcement throughout the
country for their dedication and their stories i'm daniel butler saying don't be dumb don't break the law or we'll
catch you next time on america's dumbest criminals [Music] [Music] hmm [Music] so
[Music] so [Music] you

In this episode of "America's Dumbest Criminals," we'll witness a dumb criminal with real bad luck, surveillance cam footage of a man pilfering pork chops and a dumb criminal who was just faking it.

Crime is no laughing matter, except when the criminals are bumbling fools. Hosted by Debbie Alan and Daniel Butler, this show looks at lawbreakers through a humorous lens.

Brief Summary

This episode features stories of bad luck criminals, including a robber caught by his own note and a drunk driver with poor excuses.

Key points

Bad Luck Brown's Robbery. A man robs a liquor store using a note written on his probation envelope, leading to his quick capture.
The Lawn Mower Heist. Bad Luck Brown steals a lawnmower in front of 18 cops, leading to a chaotic chase.
The Car Battery Fiasco. After stealing car batteries, Bad Luck Brown's car won't start, leading to his arrest.
The Pantsless Robber. A robber falls in the parking lot with his pants down while escaping with a cash drawer.
The Shortest Trial Ever. A man pleads guilty to grand theft auto during a bizarre courtroom exchange.

Episode highlights

Episode quotes

The crimes you're about to see are true.

0:09WatchDec 2, 2021

Tension

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