Listener Tales 92 | Morbid | Podcast | Video | Forensic Files

hello weirdos I'm salid fingers and I'm the really terrifying and traumatizing burglar from Sims 1 I
don't know you but this is a rusty spoon it's actually morbid [Music] I'm terrified anyway it's brought to you
by you actually no it's brought to you by marjerie Stewart backer and Jeremy Fisher and Hubert
[Music] cumberdale oh no it's actually brought to you just by um Hubert codel and oh oh
it's actually brought to you by Jeremy Stewart backer Jeremy Fisher oh Jeremy Fisher I
got confused because you stole all my things that's what I do I don't know guys it got [ __ ] weird in here um
something's vibrating is it Mom it's my mom mom we're in the middle of listener Tales
guys you thought last time was weird this time is even weirder because of this yeah guys so listener Tales is
weird now super weird listener tals is weird now listener tals is literally so weird it's fun though it's so fun cuz
it's after Halloween yeah and we still get to do fun stuff it's still Halloween yeah it's still Halloween in our hearts
forever I love this so much I'm having a lot of fun this is fun yeah I'm kind of
nervous about um getting this green paint off my face I'm honestly nervous for you yeah what happened was I got
like a green powder makeup I accident and it worked like with water I like mixed it and I was able to put it on my
face but then it wouldn't work on a bald cap cuz I didn't go actually bald for this look I just you know put a bald cap
on Commit you know listen I think I committed you did but did you say you didn't I said you did oh I was like Wow
feel like damn [ __ ] like I feel like I did um but yeah so I'm um acrylic paint
on top of my head is what I what I was going to say and a little bit on her face so and neck we will see how this is
going yeah we'll post photos of the aftermath you know we'll see if there's any kind of irritation happening I'm
excited to see there's definitely irritation happening right here where with Jeremy Fisher is Jeremy fish jery
Fisher and honestly um my my thing was so easy to make but I got this Plum Bob you know this plumbob Bob the Builder on
Etsy I love that so go check him out he does cool stuff he was very he was easy to he told me how to work it and stuff
so like Bob forever Bob uh I'm going to be starting yeah this listener Tales experience here
let's go brother let's go um so this one I should probably go back and tell you what it's actually called yeah that's
kind of the whole thing it's a a little hard okay this one's called listener tale it's more of a yoink than a yeet
listener tale this one is very funny and I like that a lot uh let's see I'm gonna
open it up oh yeah also we went with like a home invasions kind of um theme and like kidnapping sort of because it's
like your thing I I know you're not a kidnapper but no you're kind of a kidnapper you put kids in ovens I know
you're right I just didn't want to talk about it here and now sorry I never got caught I never got caught all right so
it says picture it the summer of 1977 in a suburb of Chicago called cisero ciso cisero famous for being the home of the
gangster Al Capone that's pretty badass that is really badass scary but badass yeah um this also has a picture of
Sophia from The Golden Girls on the phone of course like picture it the summer of
1977 the heat and humidity of the day simmering off the asphalt in a small there it is there you go in a small
brick bungalow style home my mother sauntered about in the stagnant heat of the kitchen her youngest sat upon her
hip mwah the child so Angelic and small was only months old her strawberry red hair plastered to her absolutely
adorable and Whittle head poetic license will be used and most likely abused in the basement of this Bungalow is the
rest of the Schmucks and staff or I mean my siblings my sister Coco nine at the time my brother Benny 10 Joe 8 Rodrigo 7
and Bobby 5 they played about in the coolest spot in the house without a care in the world wreaking havoc amongst each
other because kids am I right you're right you are right oh and also because boys they do be rambunctious any hoole
as they played about in the basement and unbeknownst to my mother a man creeped in behind but this is horrifying a man
creeped in between the narrow walkway beh between our home and the neighbors he stopped at the small window a window
barely any bigger than a doggy door that sat at ground level peering into the basement he beat on the window until
breaking the glass not the glass like there's children in there I think that's kind of
his objective I hate that I know I hate him for that I do too near that window was little Bobby not little Bobby Bobby
Bobby standing there with his little Root Beer Belly chubby cheeks his dark hair growing darker with sweat the man
reached in and yed him out of the basement yoink and into the oven bye-bye little Bobby bye-bye I didn't say that
you did Coco Benny Joe and Rodrigo ran upstairs to the kitchen they reached my mom started pulling on her shirt mom mom
they started yelling he grabbed Bobby he grabbed Bobby he pulled him out the window here's the thing I would have
died if I was that mother yeah on impact your kids run up to you and say he grabbed Bobby he grabbed a Bobby he
pulled him out the window Dead how do you react to that she throws the baby and goes to get the B holy [ __ ] my
mother obviously in shock handed The Golden Child the beautiful little baby so sweet
and innocent to her sister Coco and went down to the basement to see the destruction for herself not quite
believing what she heard as the kids said the window was broken with only small shards
still small shards small shards still only small chards what is it chards shards it's shards shards correctly
right okay it's like small shards I don't know why that sounded so wrong in my head still sticking inside the frame
the police were called and alerted to the situation I'm horrified for your entire family scary as everyone went
outside to wait for the police my brothers pointed to the elderly neighbor sitting in the backyard rocking away on
his glider while drinking mommy he is the man who took Bobby no just went across the street no
next to the elderly neighbor was a little dark-haired boy with his own drink it's
Bobby what the [ __ ] is going on here hello what is going on if you guess that it was my brother sitting with the
neighbor you would be correct yes the elderly neighbor was lonely and just wanted to share a beer and a chat with
someone I'm sorry yeah I'm sorry no he wasn't all there no yeah no his family was located and called to help his son
arrived and was very apologetic eventually our neighbor was placed in a nursing home to get the 24/7 care he
needed and all was well again that is so sad I know and so horrifying it's so sad
on so many levels because um childhood trauma and then obvious that neighbor all there mean any
har holy [ __ ] yeah even though there was still glass left in the frame little Bobby was not injured at all in my best
Keith Morrison impression I don't see Bobby drinking much beer could it be because of this incident could it be
because he prefers the harder stuff we'll never no to this day my siblings still refus to answer the question of
did he really reach down and grab him or did you all just lift him up as an offering I love that I love it so I love
that so good that's a good one I like that one and can I say your name uh let me see let me see let me see you may use
my name April April thank you for that April I didn't want to call you out if I couldn't April we love April that was a
good one and horrifying horrifying but like had a happy ending it did it and it was funny yeah exactly so I like that
one all right my next one is I think I can say your name so this is the time I almost had a play
date with a kidnapper I hate this yeah hello wonderful ladies I want to start off the
story by saying the usual you are amazing and thank you so much for doing what you do I found your podcast while
listening to my girls over at National Park after dark and we love them so much and I've
been hooked ever since my name is Devon and yes you can use my name hey Devon hey Devon what's up Devon how are you
Deon this story takes place in the good old old early '90s hell when kids like me often ran around unsupervised outside
and I was usually Barefoot my family didn't have a lot of money I lived in a small rented house on the outskirts of
anat talk I think it is I like it Antioch Cal somewhere in California I just said
California I have to go we're struggling we really are it's kind of late all right you lived in California uh then
small City about 30 mil outside of San Francisco in the East Bay o it was seemingly a normal summer afternoon and
being the oldest child with an infant sibling to entertain me I was out uh I was playing out front of my house alone
my family sorry I need to zoom in because I'm literally blind it's who I am your salad fingers it's very
hot H La it was a seemingly normal summer afternoon and being the oldest child with only an infant sibling to
entertain me I was playing out front of my house alone my family home had a giant white birch tree in the front yard
surrounded by grass in a small garden oh that sounds lovely it's gorgeous gorgeous um the yard was enclosed in a
giant cast iron gate thank God more on that soon it had Ivy stretching up around it and it smelled of fresh herbs
in the summer evenings that's gorgeous and beautiful and lovely setting a scene de it says my mother was just in or
sorry it why can't I do this you know I don't know sometimes it's hard you became a different thing today so a lot
yeah this isn't Salad Finger first this is Salad Fingers first rodeo it is so give him give him a minute yeah give him
a minute all right this says my mother was just inside caring for my sister when this story occurred I was sitting
in the grass playing with one of those cheap balls you see at the grocery store and those giant bins that you either
wanted to climb into as a kid or throw balls over the top of you know what I'm talking about absolutely I do I still
love those I always just picture somebody taking a ball from like the inside or the inside like bottom and
then everything just like plummeting down yep I love it uh it was common for people to walk by my house there was a
small Cafe up the road on the corner and many people from our neighborhood frequented it my house also backed up to
two separate cemeteries and I spent a lot of time getting to know each person buried in them but that's a story for
another time Devon that's a story for right now Deon yeah Devon that's always a story for right now come on I love
that story I love that I wasn't in the front yard long when I noticed a strange woman accompanied by a blonde girl a bit
older than myself s walked by with a small child in a stroller I was immediately intrigued another child in
the neighborhood I didn't know it then but I W uh I didn't know them but I was desperate to have somebody else to play
with the woman sees my interest and stops in front of the gate to my house this startles me as I was taught
stranger danger like everybody else however the woman seemed okay and she had kids with her how bad could she be I
was taught that if I was ever lost to find a policeman or another mom with kids so this mom couldn't be bad I won't
Ed over to the gate oh no the woman asked me my name and asked if I lived there I said yes and looked to the other
kids the older girl did not look at me one time this immediately threw up alarm bells in my head even as a kid so much
so that I remember this encounter to this day something so nervous yeah something was wrong and even my small
child brain knew it the woman then asked if I wanted to go play with my ball with
her daughters no she reached through the fence and touched my arm a full grip on
my wrist I uh it was then that I knew something was wrong for real the Panic said in my brain yelled at me to step
back but I was frozen there parents always tell you about stranger danger but how often as a kid do you actually
experience it I don't like this at all she's upset the plum Bob I don't like this at all he said no no no I'm mad
maybe sensing my concern the woman asked if I wanted to set up a play date and asked if my parents were around she
quickly looked over to me and around toward the house it was then thankfully that my mom rushed outside and yelled at
me to get away from the fence yeah get the [ __ ] away from her yeah get away from that cuckoo lady I backed away
releasing myself from the woman's grip and ran to my mom without even another word the woman and the girls quickly
walked down the street pushing the stroller out of sight and I don't remember ever seeing them again but the
story is not over I was going to say did I if I was that Mom I think I would have
like linebacker style tackled that woman what are your intentions what are you doing here let's just say I got a very
stern lecture from my mom about not talking to strangers that day and never played out front of that house
unsupervised ever again no flash to 2009 now I'm in high school and I live across
town from where I grew up I see that on the news a little girl kidnapped in 1991
was held captive but found on the outskirts of California the outskirts of that town I can't say yes that's right
ladies I grew up and lived around the [ __ ] corner from JC duard shut the [ __ ] up while she was held captive for
18 years isn't that [ __ ] Bonkers I didn't see that coming no I did not read these ahead of time I did not see these
coming yeah what the [ __ ] yep the woman I met that day uh Nancy gero I think it
is what the f the kids I met Jai and her firstborn daughter not her sister I have I'm without words without
words I'm without words can you imagine no and to know one to know that you like
happened to have an experience where you like met her and then two to realize that Nancy was trying to kidnap your ass
too to add to the whole thing and oh my God and your mom is probably like holy [ __ ] that was just JC what and your
mom's like thank God I was paying attention yeah like Mama ran out there and was like get the [ __ ] off my proper
[ __ ] yeah I felt absolutely sick to my stomach to my [ __ ] stomach watching the news this poor girl was trapped in
hell my entire childhood only a few thousand feet from where I played and slept and lived every single
day wow my mom and I immediately looked up the address of where Jai was found and saw that she was hidden only eight
houses away from us on the corner the grief I felt was that uh the grief I felt that day was insurmountable knowing
I saw her and I met her and her kidnapper as a child and never even knew it I can only guess now what might have
happened to me if I had gone with that woman that day I'm so glad you didn't thank goodness Devon thanks for
listening to my tale and maybe later I'll write in about some other Tales I have like when I was subpoena to testify
in front of a court as a witness for when I stopped a home invasion and accidentally broke up a crime ring in my
neighborhood keep it weird much love Devin Devin come on you got I want to hear you got to send us those Tales you
got some staries Devon you're happy my goodness I'm happy to hear it yeah holy [ __ ] crazy that was CRA I did not see
that coming that like shocked me when I was reading it I was like wait wait what
what oh wow sorry that just like ringed off whatever damn damn that's crazy right all right that's
nuts no no not chery fish Jeremy's mine now can't believe you just did that to me steal Jeremy you can't
steal my salad fingers Jeremy's mine I got to tuck them back in so they look more realistic put Jeremy in my bag
can't believe you took my my things not my things not my if you had a rusty spoon I'd steal that I know I actually
feel so [ __ ] remiss I was going to make a rusty spoon and then I just completely forgot and it's not something
you can just whip up in a minute you know what the rusty spoon is the friends we made along the way I like that put
that on my Tombstone and never explain it to anyone no no context whatsoever all right so the next
listener tale is listener Tales home invasions hello firstly to Ash's cats secondly to you gorgeous gorgeous gal
I'll tell them you said hi my name is Molly Molly feel free to use all my names all the names in the in the thing
you guys remind me of the lovely relationship between me and my sister and have even inspired us to begin
percolating the idea of starting our own podcast do it we both love spooky [ __ ]
and have some truly hilarious banter at least we think so we think we do too that's the whole reason we started this
that means that you're right yeah you're funny I'm not good at expressing my feelings according to my therapist
neither is Elena but but want you to know that I think you are both badass hilarious and
taligent human beings thank you so are you I hope to one day be as spooky and cool of a mom as you Elena that's really
sweet I hope that too really sweet we share that Molly and get all the same sister scissor wielding ghosts to [ __ ]
right off and leave my babies alone I also hope to bring more of an ash itude into my life and be unapologetically
myself while being rocked to the people around me a I love you so much Molly you
said I love how supportive you've been of Alena's book which I cannot wait to read and you Andrew the absolute
cuteness is pretty all right oh my God and she's pretty all right tiny url.com thee
butcher in except don't use that because it's not active anymore go to.com oh [ __ ] you have a whole website
there you go anyway attached our two double space puas for your reading pleasure I won't Bo bother apologizing
for length because I already know what you're going to say if you read one or both of these on the Pod TM I will never
stop bragging about I will never stop I broke I will never stop bragging to everyone I know
much love Molly today we will read the home invasion tale and then guess what Molly you're going to be on backtack
listener Tales it's true you're coming back we'll read New Orleans next next uh month hell yeah I've been doing admin so
this one's called [ __ ] Kevin and not in the fun way I like that I like that a lot 2020
was a [ __ ] year for a lot of reasons one of those reasons is that it's the year
that my apartment was broken into and robbed yes Kevin is his real name and I'm comfortable using it because he was
indeed caught arrested Ed and convicted Kevin by then my then boyfriend now husband and I
congratulations and I were out of town visiting my family and we left our precious cat children Ari and B oh I
like that Ari and Binks back at our apartment in in Allington Vermont Virginia Virginia Virginia sorry I said
Vermont uh spoiler alert no cats were harmed in the making of This listener tale thank you we hired a cat sitter to
come visit SL feed them once a day we were supposed to come back home on a Friday but made a fateful last minute
decision to stay an extra day and come home on Saturday instead at the time I regretted this decision but now I'm
grateful for what we did as it was the last time I saw my mom before she passed away unexpectedly from an undiagnosed
heart condition I'm sorry I'm sorry Molly that sucks I know we returned home on Saturday night and my boyfriend
commented that he thought the door was already unlocked when he stuck the key in that's the scariest thing I say well
you go check the apartment I have to go somewhere it's been real bye we brushed this off because the lock was kind of
janky and he was probably mistaken we drop our suitcases and I give my kitty some reunion snuggles my boyfriend comes
rushing out of the bedroom and asks me if I'd moved a small box out of his desk drawer I had not and this is where the
red flags started going up we searched the apartment some more and noticed that a passport checkbook and other items
were missing as well that's really scary to think that somebody has your passord
like that's be terrifying the small box that my boyfriend was panicking over contained The Diamond for my future
engagement ring I know oh he had not given it to me yet and this is how I learned that he was going to propose oh
Imagine Learning like that that's so sad I know I plugged our cheap security camera into my laptop and started
reviewing the footage video only there was no audio my heart dropped when I got to the footage from Friday night/
Saturday morning around 2 a.m. I can see Ari and Binks excitedly trotting up to the door as it began to open thinking
that Mom and Dad were finally home no I see their ears go back and their tails drop as they realize it's not us
and they turn around and Sprint to find a hiding place I see two unfamiliar [ __ ] men sorry I added that uh just
men come through the door unfortunately I can't see their faces because the camera was pointed to the floor it was
positioned that way because we bought it to keep an eye on the cats never expecting that it would capture a
robbery I break out into tears and call my mom while my boyfriend calls the police two young women police officers
show show up shortly after and I'm grateful to them to this day for how comforting and kind they were as they
took our statements and dusted for fingerprints side note they used a black powder to dust for fingerprints and
Binks was very interested in what they were doing he stepped in a pile of powder and left little black Footprints
all over the place it was adorable to this day he is known as detective Binks DT Binks B on the case over the next few
days we barely slept I honestly I don't know how you would that must be like the
most like violating feeling absolutely to think somebody two unknown men were in your house and have all your
information yes like I I feel that's awful yeah we barely slept pushed Furniture against the door at night and
patiently waited for the few and far between updates from police my boyfriend coped in his way denial dealing with the
logistics of insurance Etc I coped in my own way going full detective mode the sight of the Fe hitting my poor babies
as they ran for cover was was burned into my mind honestly that would [ __ ] me up too yeah if someone upset my my
animals yep I'd be so pissed oh you could fight me with these salid fingers fight me you can mess with me you can
steal our [ __ ] but you cannot [ __ ] with my cats exactly I reviewed the footage
over and over looking at every tiny detail I noticed that the intruders picked up the note of instructions I
left with the cats sitter reading it to each other and laughing [ __ ] you it's also like why is is that funny why why
would that be funny and like on H like what like what a dick I reported this to the police and they came and collected
the paper for evidence I also noted that my noticed that my boyfriend had been right about the door being unlocked I
can clearly see the cats that are leaving on Friday shutting the door and not locking the dead bolts fired she was
suspected to be involved at first but eventually determined to be simply incompetent and cleared by police
sometimes that's even worse yeah that really is Innocent but incompetent oof oof I obsessed over and I obsessed over
and messed with the footage enough to discover that there was in fact audio who [ __ ] you are everything you're a
detective you hell yeah it was staticky and hard to hear and I listened over and
over again with headphones to try to make out any clues finally I saw one of the men walk over to the camera and can
make out the following Hey Kevin there's a camera here idiots not only did they drop names directly in front of the
camera but they also left it there instead of taking it it's like why would you do that I mean I'm glad they did but
like why would be a special kind of dumb you sure do the footage was on a Micro SD card so if they' taken the camera we
would have had nothing to go off of they unplugged the camera at that time so we're not sure how long they were there
or what else they did chilling very chilling My Hope Is that they realized they [ __ ] up and noped out of there
immediately I forwarded the audio to the detective assigned to our case and this
is what finally allowed them to catch him turns out the cops had been following Kevin for several months
connect connected to multiple other robberies of homes schools businesses Etc they knew he was guilty but until
now they didn't have the hard evidence to convict him hell yeah a warrant was put out and Kevin was arrested for
multiple felony robberies soon after they searched his phone and found a conversation between him and some other
Shady character trying to pawn my diamonds can you imagine it was never found we expect that he ditched it along
with the other stolen items once he realized the police were on to him [ __ ] that guy fortunately my boyfriend is a
genius and bought insurance for the diamond so we got a replacement for free seriously we were both yeah we were
both called the testify in court and despite being totally hyped about getting on the stand they did not
question me only my boyfriend stupid total bummer he doesn't even like True Crime there was also no city-wide parade
or official commendations for me to single-handedly solving the case which I feel I deserved you did I also feel you
deserve should we have one retroactively I think we should let's do it anyway Kevin isn't jail now and though my sense
of security in my home is forever damaged we're doing okay we moved into a new house pack back in my Pennsylvania
Hometown to be closer to my family after my mom passed I spent too far too much money on a home security system love you
simply safe Simply Safe but it's worth it for the peace of mind we are now married and the cats are currently
looking at at BBS outside the window outside the window and enjoying the cool fall weather whether you read this or
not it was a cathartic to write it all down I'm glad y thank you for giving me and many others a safe space to sh share
our stories Molly Molly we love you you always have a safe space here my friends
oh you're safe forever here all of you I'm so sorry that your sense of like security and safety in your own home was
rocked from that cuz I understand why it was the same thing would have happened to me yeah that would have freaked me
the [ __ ] out damn Molly I know you went through it girl but I'm so glad that your man's got insurance on the ring yes
that was smart he's a smart guy smart guy he's a smart guy [Music] smart guy we're in the right era I love
it we're staying in the right era in the right era oh my nose is ACH era era that
was funny sorry my nose got itch you at a really inopportune time ER eror there you go there you go all right my next
one is from uh Eli Eli Eli hello you wonderful ladies my name is Eli you can use my name I've been listening since
day one and have introduced all my or excuse me many family and friends to you lovely so not all of them not all of
them not all of them all right just kidding we'll forgive you it's okay I'm so proud of all you two have
accomplished in these last years thank you you girl has brought me so many laughs so many tears and even tears from
laughing I look forward to hearing new episodes every week uh you are my podcast drug of choice a I love you Ela
I know we love you I am also a Massachusetts gal more details to come hell yeah I'm not the greatest at
writing so please bear with me you're actually really good at writing and really funny I was crying when I read
this of laughter of laughter of laughter without any more gushing here's my tale of the
time a demonic man parked his way into my apartment I'm obsessed with this already back in my early 20s I left home
because I wanted to change I met a guy when I went on a trip to Canada and we hit it off I decided not to go back home
much to the shock of my family job and Friends [ __ ] you only live once right YOLO here I am in Montreal on my own for
the first time ever we got a uh a place in a big apartment condo you know the type multiple floors multiple apartments
on each floor your typical Seinfeld situation where you have to be buzzed into the building and all that jazz my
apartment was on the first level but there was an entire Garden level below those are air quotes I like to that air
quotes with the Salad Finger you're welcome uh every apartment on the first level all the way up to the top level
which uh was I think eight had these mini balconies off the living room on this day after staying up way too late
playing video games I decided to call it a night around 1:00 a.m. ah the before children days I head to my bedroom and
get ready for bed not more than a few seconds after I lay down I hear this loud yelling coming from the alleyway
between my building and the ones next to mine picture this Alleyway like a sideways t-shape Looking Out My Window
there were two buildings and an alley between them leading directly to my unit the yelling was so disturbing it was no
spoken language I had ever heard of it was seriously demonic the voice was deep raspy but had this sharp edge to it the
type that would make you want to cover your ears the words made absolutely no sense at all now me being the nosy ass
[ __ ] I am I immediately jump out of bed and go peep out the curtains to see what
the actual [ __ ] is going on hell yeah I would have done the same thing oh I'm if
I hear a commotion out the curtains I peek oh yeah I'm going to go vacuum the grass literally like I got to know
what's going on I love those Tik Tok videos when people will start doing that like sweeping the grass I love it well
there's a man running down the alley toward my building uhoh he's waving his arms all over but that is as much as I
would I could make out it was extremely dark and there's minimal Lighting in that area as he's making his way toward
the building a car turns in the alley behind him it had Sirens so clearly it was the police chasing said man the
entire time he shrieking this ungodly noise heading straight toward what seemed like me oh mhm now at ground
level there's a small retaining wall it's literally like 3 ft tall and he jumps on it and leaps up to grab the
bottom of my balcony no yes no yes did you [ __ ] your pants Eli I would have cuz I would [ __ ]
my pants Eli says which by the way is a solid 15 to 20 feet up and I don't know if he TR was truly possessed or not but
I [ __ ] you not he hoisted himself up like he was an Olympic pole jumper without a pole what the [ __ ] he just had
like a 20 foot vertical like what's going on some Street parkour American Ninja Warrior get that man a contract
somewhere like what the hell I ran right to my night table where I happened to have stashed an 8 in blade in the drawer
oh casual things that's Eli right there and pull it out yeah I pull it out just pull it right out just in case I know I
said I would mention this but I'm from this wonderful little gem of a city called Brockton oh have you guys ever
seen the menu go watch the menu go watch the menu now I know you two gorgeous ladies most likely know about this
special little [ __ ] hole but the rest of the world probably doesn't feel free to
insert whatever oh now that was amazing I basically grew up in an area where you sleep with one eye
open in nicer terms yeah it's called the city of Champions but that's far from what it is Champion to any other Brock
tonians don't come for me you know it's true so knife welding me run you know ick if you know Brockton you know you
know ubic oh so knife wielding me runs into my living room as my balcony screen door opens and
the inner door is being rammed on by this demon [ __ ] yes this [ __ ] is still chanting damn I know you're
probably thinking hide don't run toward J toward danger but I don't know I just had this urge to Stand My Ground I'm not
going to be sometimes you get that urge you know sometimes you just like I feel like standing my ground today yeah just
I'm going to Stand My Ground right now sometimes it happens and Eli says I'm not going to be caught unprepared that's
right the locks give out and the door crashes in word no the demon rushes in he stops to look around and Survey the
situation we lock eyes imagine if imagine if you were like this I looked at him what if you were just like like
what if you just broke it and you were just like hey do you like Rusty Spoons honestly best home security system ever
right it's just always always be salad fingers at every moment cuz if somebody breaks in and you just rise out of bed
and just say I like Rusty Spoons what are you do they're going to get the [ __ ]
out of there like they're going to get the [ __ ] if you sit up and say it's almost
orgasmic they'll be like bye the next my salad fingers yep yeah they'll leave yeah it's true well little
tip from us to you yes it's safety tips well la la la la la I said to him while holding this knife don't [ __ ] try me
oh that's Eli right there that's my Eli right there Eli Eli's the whole city yep
Eli knows his screaming had come to a halt and it was so [ __ ] weirdly quiet he looked at the front door looked at me
the front door me and finally vaults over my coffee table to the front door fumbles with the lock gets it open and
runs into the building hallway then resume he said [ __ ] that he said [ __ ] that but then resumes his demonic murder
screaming again yeah he took a little pause yeah surveyed the situation and I was like I'll continue out
here they were words but not it's seriously hard to explain but terrifying oh I wish you had audio a why didn't you
get audio come on youi audio didn't happen this entire thing was only like 6 seconds tops but in the moment it felt
like forever now this would be the perfect time for me to shut my door lock it and crumble into a sob but n girl I
ran out into the hallway after him like who's for my broken door ladies ladies I don't know why I
felt like Zena Warrior Princess some Amazonian badass [ __ ] when the reality was a 21-year-old Puerto Rican 53 thick
and out of shape I'm obsessed with you seees I love you Eli Eli for life you just wait the end of this tale I was
crying I was crying at this point but then I started sobbing at the next part the demon runs straight into the
officers that yoke him up one officer runs to me he looked me up and down and at my knife which I immediately place on
the ground and held my hands up like I was the criminal or something he ushers me into my apartment to make sure I'm
okay and to get me out of the hallway as some neighbors had begun opening their doors to see what was happening hey did
I mention I was only wearing red panties so my [ __ ] coconut fig tip titties were just clapping in the wind can I say
that can I I just love can I say that [ __ ] you could say that you could sing that you can speak that in a poem you
could that's Eli so so had their own Eli Eli had their own security you know uh system in place Eli I'm obsessed with
you your yabo saved you your Yos I'm so we love your Yos in in fact we love them
I mean listen it was bedtime oh whoops what did I mention I was only wearing like the way did I mention my coconut
titties were flapping the fact that this demon [ __ ] came walking into like busting through your house like the
Kool-Aid man and you're standing there in red underwear holding an 8 in knife and you just said like don't even
[ __ ] try me Queen he said Queen he said I will not get her a goddamn Crown you are a
warrior princess oh you are the off uh sorry in asteris after covering my goodies with a throbing
the officer takes a small statement from me helps get the door back in place offers to bring me to a friends all that
stuff but I told him I was fine I'd be okay yeah he's we're good so he left I baced my living room for a few more
minutes trying to get my heart rate to slow the [ __ ] down and finally go into my room and get into bed here's the best
part of this entire [ __ ] crazy story reached the best part no my man's rolls over and puts his arm around me and says
what language was that I am laughing so hard typing this part yes ladies this [ __ ]
country boy that grew up in the middle of nowhere kept his grown ass man self in bed in bed while I'm [ __ ] knife
welding Samurai and keeping us safe my response to him no idea but I think it was satanic while he blissfully went
back to snoring the fact that he just rolled over was like what language was that what do you think you was saying
like where and where were you and where were through [ __ ] wall like what hello
they just broke our front door down damn damn Eli I knew from that day on if we ever had a family and [ __ ] went down I'd
have to be the one to protect us yeah Eli for life but that's all for my story of my thick ass naked Hispanic lady face
off first parkour demon parkour demonic Banshee man I didn't die so that's a bonus that's a huge bonus in my eyes
thank you so much for reading I grew up in the Bridgewater Triangle and currently live back back here raising my
little family I got lots of spooky and scary stories I could share including my dad almost being murdered in front of me
the amount of blood will forever be a memory I can't forget oh Brockton or that wasn't me that was Eli or when my
mom's cousin came over and asked what dress she should wear if she died when in fact she actually had died the day
before and was wearing said dress my mom picked out at the funeral days later or
the time my friends and I got attacked in the Woods by a group of men and had to ask for help from a nudist Colony
yeah I have some Tails send us all of them Eli one puer I'm not kidding you tail one tail two tail three ta four
give them all all Ts every tail it's the holiday season yeah give us so we can take it I I want a full put a I want a
whole I want a bag full like this of those Tales an Eli episode an Eli episode I'll we'll do a whole episode on
Eli yeah send us all those Tales like threaten me with a good time well keep it weird ladies I hope to attend a live
show in the future peace out and love always Eli Eli Eli for [ __ ] life life Eli for life damn Eli that was amazing
so those were our whole [Music] Invasion that's my computer that's my whole computer that's my computer what you
don't she doesn't have a burglar alarm if you installed one this wouldn't happen what I'm just a sound this you're
ridiculous Sims 1 players will know a you guys only Sims one players in these streets will get I love doing video
listener Tales so much just the fact that what day is today is it a Wednesday yeah it's just a Wednesday it's just a
[ __ ] Wednesday and I just I sent this to my family group chat and they were like this is amazing like what and I was
like yeah sometimes it's hard to explain what my job is yeah we C I came out of the room for a second and John was like
oh just just working it's going to work I love it I was like what and that's because of you guys and we're hella
thankful for you we love you we want to smooch your faces we do I want to steal your faces we neglect it don't steal
their faces that's [ __ ] ter that's what I do I want to steal your face you're like the queen from [ __ ] uh
what's that movie that you won't let your kids watch and they want to watch oh return to ODS
yeah uh princess Momi I was so close I was more on like a sweet life Ted MOS no I wasn't there either I was on a Sweet
Life of Zach and Cody Mr Mosby thing oh there you go that's where I was well the
princess Momi Momi yeah freaky I just think it's weird that you're going to steal their faces um but
we neglected to mention that this is Thanksgiving today Thanksgiving while you're watching this so you know we're
thankful for you and and Happy Thanksgiving and Happy Thanksgiving and turkey and sweet potatoes and whatever
else oh I'm so excited for your Thanksgiving alen's definitely going to have to post some recipes because that
[ __ ] I will I'll post recipes and I'm oh I have something that I'm going to do
I just please cut that out I have some no you should not please such a dainty one cut it out so dainty we can
leave it in I have something [ __ ] it I'm real I have something that I'm going to
do um on Thanksgiving and I'll show you I like that on Thanksgiving I'll show you I like that a lot I'm going to dress
like this at Thanksgiving just to be provocative provocative I like it right yeah yeah it provokes emotion doesn't it
absolutely it's very provocative I think it does you can't see me I'm salid fingers well we love you and we love
doing this we hope you keep listening and we hope you keep it weird but not so weird that you don't
have salad for fingers I love salad and I love having Salad Fingers what is she going to steal now
[Applause] [Music] w [Music]

Happy Thanksgiving! Pull up a chair and get ready for a brand new batch of tales brought TO you, BY you (Salad Fingers & the Sims thief), For you, FROM you, and ALLLLL about you!

Today we have some wild tales about break ins, child snatching, horrifying close calls, and our GIRL from Brockton! Don't forget to check out the VIDEO from this episode available on YouTube on 11/28/24!

If you’ve got a listener tale please send it on over to Morbidpodcast@gmail.com with “Listener Tales” somewhere in the subject line :) Connect with Wondery http://wondery.com/shows http://facebook.com/WonderyMedia http://twitter.com/WonderyMedia http://instagram.com/WonderyMedia

Brief Summary

Listener tales feature home invasions and kidnapping attempts, highlighting terrifying experiences and unexpected outcomes.

Key points

Listener Tales: Home Invasions. A collection of bizarre and spooky listener stories, including a shocking kidnapping tale.
A Close Call with a Kidnapper. A listener recounts a terrifying encounter with a woman who may have been a kidnapper.
The Kidnapping Incident. A chilling story about a child almost being kidnapped by a stranger.
A Decision with Consequences. Staying an extra day leads to a heartbreaking goodbye with her mom.
The Scary Discovery. Returning home reveals unsettling signs of a break-in.
Caught on Camera. Security footage reveals the shocking moment of the robbery.

Episode highlights

Episode quotes

Listener Tales is literally so weird!

Expressing excitement about the listener tales being strange and fun.

1:38WatchNov 28, 2024

Tension

75/ 100High tension

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