Confession: I Stole a Cop Car! | Statute of Limitations hosted by Mike “The Situation” Sorrentino | Forensic Files

hey it's your boy Mike The Situation Santino welcome to statute of limitations it's the ultimate lineup
it's Cooks this is not my fault that I stole this car it's coming this is my chance I can be rich for life it's w to
be kingpins we all made together $500,000 and queen pins it was basically a lounge of
criminals these are stories of the nonviolent lucky punks and Robin hoods that Dodge the law I could have gone to
prison not jail prison because here's the situation baby it's only a matter of time before the statute of limitations
is up and technically you might walk away scotf free but don't take it from me guys I'm obviously no lawyer this is
statute of limitations what's up everybody I'm Mike The Situation Santino welcome to the
show where average folks talk about their over-the-top crimes they committed way back with on this episode of statute
of limitations you'll see a goody two shoes wannabe congresswoman who committed a crime out of Gone in 60
Seconds and a dude whose crime can be best described as Toy Story he stole from the rich and gave to the poor meets
our Robin Hood Nam Dave check it out hello my name is Dave and I committed a plethora of crimes see there
was Computer Fraud Grand larsoning and just for a good measure a little bit of trespassing for for 20 years I've been
waiting and waiting to talk about all these crimes that I committed and now I'm going to tell you all about
it so I was in college I was super broke and so every year I would get a seasonal
job working at one of the big box toy stores which had like electronics and TVs and Cabbage Patch Kids you name it
so this store like at the time minimum wage was like nothing it was like maybe four bucks and they would put you down
to work all the hours like my work schedule just said December and like even with overtime it
was like six bucks so they like great thanks I can super siize my fries now so you get super bitter super fast you're
not making any money they're super super cruel to these kids by jacking up these
prices like astronomically so this company is like making money hand over fist like these
families are like emptying their pocketbooks for like the next hot thing they're just going broke just trying to
make make their kids happy for the holidays you know Dad's out in the parking lot doing like $3 scratchers
like Hing like you know Christmas is coming up what am I going to do it was driving me
nuts and then I came up with the best idea I got a chance to fix this I figured out a way for everybody to get
everything they wanted for the holidays especially me so this place during the holidays total chaos like trucks coming
in boxes flying everywhere it was complete Madness nobody had any idea where anything
was so remember this is like a terrible neighborhood and there were like abandoned buildings everywhere like
empty warehouses and whatnot and at the time I just started tinkering around with computers and I realized if I went
into the system and just changed a couple numbers I could take entire shipments and redirect them to anywhere
I wanted I could redirect those trucks and have them deliver all all those boxes to one of those empty
warehouses so before I sent an entire shipment somewhere I decided to take one video game console and have it sent just
to test it out it worked perfectly nobody had any idea after that I was like what else can
I get away with so it started with one video game console and then it went to like two boxes five boxes a van a big
old truck they're like what else can I do can I do an entire like ship coming in from
China I figured sooner or later somebody was going to figure this out so every single shipment was like down to a
science for like in out a single hour never use the same place twice fake name like Alro like the guys who brought it
in like the truckers whatever they're like why are these guys hurrying so much but whatever they're truckers they're
busy too I mean some of the truckers were actually helping us unload the boxes themselves until one guy like looking at
it's kind of funny so I slipped him a game console he never said a word so it was crazy it was like kind of
fun in the beginning a little sneaky like one little Xbox and all of a sudden I'm like renting the apartment next to
mine filling it full of boxes my own placees filled with boxes got like stolen goods everywhere they're like
flying in I mean I was careful but I was totally Fearless like nobody's ever going to catch me at a certain point I
was looking around like I think I've got over $100,000 worth of the stuff I could
have gone to prison not jail prison this is getting too big too fast completely out of control and sooner or later
somebody's going to talk I was pretty sure some of the other people I work with were catching on by
the way all this time I'm supposed to be doing my regular job like as I'm stealing like half the store I'm also in
the store working for these people doing my regular job and then one day I show up to the office and there
are two guys in Shir and TI who I don't know totally freaked out like this is it oh snap DA's got the suits in Pursuit
right now and if you've ever shoplifted not saying that I have ever personally maybe I have maybe I haven't but I can
tell you that store security they don't play okay this dude is in way over his head stealing toys he's got a situation
let's see how this plays out next on statute of limitations we're back with statute of
limitations our man Dave is working a holiday gig decided to stuff his stocking with a warehouse full of game
consoles but with security hot on his heels it might just be a wrap listen security is always watching okay guys
check check this out at a certain point I was looking around like I think I've got over
$100,000 worth of the stuff I was pretty sure some of the other people I work with were catching on and then one day I
show up to the office and there are two guys in Shir and TI who I don't know totally freaked out like this is it the
store holds an entire staff meeting they bring us all in and they're not exactly like pointing the finger at
anyone but they were saying all this stuff is going missing we got to figure this out and that's
when things completely went off the rails I was starting to totally freak out I was like had crazy anxiety
couldn't sleep totally terrified was like looking over my shoulder it just got completely out of control just when
I thought it couldn't get any worse the assistant manager pulls me aside out of the blue and says the manager thinks
somebody stealing a bunch of stuff by changing all the stuff in the computer system and I Reed out I was like I don't
know anything that's crazy I I'll keep my eye out meanwhile the second he left I went
into the computers and just nuked everything I just like delete delete delete delete delete like trying to
erase all traits of anything i' done here's the good news they all thought I was an idiot
so they never suspected me what's going on I I dropped my contact on the floor here's a great thing about not always
coming off that smart people think you're not smart enough to get away with that kind of
stuff I don't regret a thing but this was the stupidest thing I could have possibly done and if you ever think that
you should do anything like this don't because it will actually mess with your mind for the rest of your life and
that's how I got away with all those CRI nobody got hurt I mean the company went
out of business but like it's a company but all the people they got hooked up and if you want to get up I still have a
bunch of boxes in my house and why am I talking like this yo Dave's number should be 1 1800
lucky Cho because he could have gotten 12 long years in prison I wonder if he has the old school techmobile what an
amazing game that was check out this crime committed by a one-time Sorority Girl in Arizona from an innocent stylish
Sorority Girl to a not so innocent criminal whose style could have been an orange jumpsuit meet
Christine my name is Christine and in 2010 I was a college student in Phoenix Arizona and I took Grand Theft Auto to
the next level I was a polyi major and I was really into Student Government I was an
activist or I thought I was my dream was to be a congresswoman I had a picture of
Elizabeth Warren on my wall in my dorm room I was very very much into it I was in a sority I won't say which one and I
went to my sority sisters and I said we've got to do something other than party once in a while can we please go
to this women's March and I kind of told some of them it was a good networking opportunity too so I was able to get all
of the s 4 sisters together this was around midterms so we were really exhausted and tired but I really wanted
us to go to this March we stayed up really late the night before the March and know we ran to the store we got all
the supplies poster board we got markers we got paint and we were making a ton of
signs and I was exhausted we were all exhausted and my best friend Brit who was also my sority sister was like well
you know I have some Aderall and I can maybe share it with you I've never done ad all before never took any kind of
pickme up before so I thought well what's the harm you know I'm really tired and she said yeah it's just like a
couple cups of coffee you'll be fine so I said okay give me one so she gives me one and and that kept me going through
the whole night we made all kinds of signs equal pay equal rights equal pay for women we went all out for the
March and the next morning it was pretty early and we've gathered all of the signs and everything to go to the March
and we all get into a couple different Vans and we go to the March and she offers me another adderal and I took it
and we were all just completely hyped up so we get to the March everyone's chanting we have all of our signs we are
just kind of getting a little bit Rowdy and as we're going down the March we see
actually some of the fraternity guys they found out we were going to be there went there to heckle us so they're
yelling at us we're yelling back some of my shorty sisters are like flipping them
off they're getting just totally angry so we're totally hyped up and and it was really great but then up ahead we see
like all of this commotion we see like Signs like people are getting like we could just hear a lot of people shouting
all of a sudden I see these flashing lights red blue red blue red blue and I am freaking out of course because it's
the police and then I just hear a lot of shouting and I really realized like people are getting shoved and pushed and
I'm starting to freak out and then I noticed my sority sisters are freaking out and they start like pushing and
shoving and all of a sudden I'm just in the middle of like this complete commotion so there's a million people
and I see the police coming and they're arresting people and I'm freaking out okay because if I get arrested you know
there goes all my dreams of being a congresswoman and I am so scared so I grab grit and I'm like we got to get out
of here you know and we just take off running I'm pushing people out of the way um I'm I'm running through the crowd
and we find this alley and we duck down the alley and as we're running down the alley and I'm I'm breathing heavy I'm
basically hyperventilating at this point and then a cop car pulls up at the end of the alley and we duck behind a
dumpster because and I'm just I'm crouched behind the dumpster and I'm like oh my God oh my God you know I
don't I don't want to go to [Music] jail the two of these police officers jump out of the police car to I guess
Chase someone and they leave the doors open so I don't know if it was the excitement or the Aderall or what but I
stupidly think I'm going to run to the police car I'm just going to jump in I start running Brit's yelling what are
you doing and I'm like get in the car get in the car and um so we we jump in the car and we
we shut the doors and I I couldn't believe it but they actually left the keys in there
which look this is not my fault that I stole this car they left the keys in right so anyway I turn on the car and I
and I and I just take off because I just want to get out of there so I floored the gas and I was gone and then I'm
driving down the street and BRD goes you stole a cop car you stole a cop car and
I'm like duh I know I know and then I don't know what to do she's like we got to we got to we got to get out of the
car and I'm like we can't get out of the car now someone's going to see us and so
I pull up and I flip on everything that I could find the sirens start going off and I'm just driving and driving and
she's like where are you going and I'm like I don't know Brit's like well maybe we should pull over you know on the side
of the road here maybe we should pull over um in front of this 7-Eleven and I'm like are you crazy there's you know
cameras everywhere and I'm we're we're just driving and driving Ding and you know I noticed you know all the lights
and everything sort of seemed like it was in slow motion like um I wasn't even really there like it was a movie or
something you know like we were Thelma and Louise all of a sudden Brit yells at me and she's like who slow down you know
and I almost ran a stop sign as if it mattered that I ran a stop sign at that point and it finally dawned on us we
have to get rid of this car because otherwise we're going to jail for the rest of our lives
yo Christine sori letters should be GTA Grand Theft Auto she stole a cop car and now she's in a rush to make a
getaway the story ships into high gear when we return on statute of limitations next welcome back to statute of
limitations Christine a soror girl and he wnab be lawmaker has turned into a full-on law breaker she stole a cop car
and I know the cops like eating Donuts but I don't think they like people doing donuts especially in their police car
right now she's going to get out of this Jam I don't know guys we're going to have to check this
out we're just driving and driving and you know I noticed you know all the lights and everything sort of seemed
like it was in slow motion like um I wasn't even really there like it was a movie or something you know like we were
thma and Louise all of a sudden Brit yells at me and she's like wao slow down you know and I almost ran a stop sign as
if it mattered that I ran a stop sign at that point and it finally dawned on us we have to get rid of this car because
otherwise we're going to jail for the rest of our lives Now Phoenix is kind of a weird city right so it's all of these
big developments and you're driving and then all of a sudden you're just in the desert so we're driving up this like
really little rocky like Road it wasn't even really a road at that point it was mostly you know dirt and sand and gravel
and I see this rock formation up ahead so I decide I'm going to pull around that and we're going to park there we
pull up and we park and we open the doors and I stick my head out of the door and I'm looking around and all I
see is like cacti and we both you know crawl down out of the car and we like craw all in our bellies like maybe 10 ft
before we actually stand up and we are covered in sand and dirt and then we start walking and walking and it is the
desert and it is Arizona and we are dripping with sweat we had like one little water bottle between the two of
us we walked for hours I swear I saw an oasis with a palm tree I'm getting completely sunburned and Brit's face was
a mess I noed a vulture was circling us so I was like um we're going to die out here I want to cry but there's no more
tears left cuz I was totally dehydrated we finally make it back to campus and I am red as a beat and I decide I have to
like hide out so I'm lying in bed that night after I stoble the cop car and I my skin is on fire I threw a ton of aloe
all over my myself and I'm just laying there and then I realized I wasn't wearing gloves so they could find my
fingerprints so I text Brit and I was like come here now so she came over and I said we have to go back and she's like
are you crazy you never go back to the scene of the crime and I was like well we have to we're driving through every
pile of sand looks the same and I finally see a rock formation that I think looks pretty familiar so I say
Brit that's it that's it it's got to be be it so we drive up this little Hill and we go around the rock formation and
there's the car and I was like thank you nobody has found the car yet I can't even believe it was still there it was
crazy we wiped off every inch of that cop car and I I mean I probably went over it like three or four times because
I was so paranoid I was like we you know we're going to get caught so we did that
and I was trying to think did did I leave you know did I leave my d a anywhere was there was did I leave a
hair follicle you know I watched a lot of True Crime so so we get back to the door room and I made her swear you can
never tell anyone about this so sorry Brit I told someone about this but yeah and then I waited in my dorm room with
my fingers crossed hoping that you know they did not find any fingerprints or I don't know DNA or something like that
and um yeah they didn't and no one said anything to me I couldn't believe it I was just so thankful and uh Brit never
said anything to anyone I never said anything to anyone and we kind of all just pretended it didn't happen but I
never went back to another women's March and I just kind of laid low at school for the rest of my time there so I never
went into politics I'm not that much of a criminal I'm in marketing and advertising
and that's my story so in the end Christine and the Machine were both okay thanks to Arizona
statute of limitations if she ever runs for office she's got big daddy s's vote that does it for this episode of the
show I like the situation satino hope you all learned a valuable lesson today which is if you commit the crime just
don't get caught genius right we've got plenty more incredible stories coming your way you got the time well we got
the crime guys see you in the next installment of statute of limitations peace we
out this program is for entertainment purposes only and it is not legal advice the statute of limitations are
complicated and depend on many factors if you need advice you should seek legal counsel from a competent attorney in
your jurisdiction [Music] [Music] [Music] yeah [Music] yeah

David, an ex-toy store employee, transformed into a modern-day Robin Hood to ensure everyone had a Merry Christmas. Christine, a sorority girl, unexpectedly found herself behind the wheel of a police car and managed to dodge the law. Hosted by the iconic Mike “The Situation” Sorrentino, Statute of Limitations pushes the boundaries of justice as individuals confess to non-violent crimes that have long surpassed the statute of limitations. Each episode features the stories of those brazen enough to confess their secret crimes. New episodes of Statute of Limitations will be posted every Friday and Sunday at 6:00pm EST. If you’re ready for more crazy stories, brought to you by Mike “The Situation” Sorrentino, comment below and be sure to hit that like and subscribe button!

Brief Summary

Dave steals toys through computer fraud while Christine steals a cop car during a chaotic march.

Key points

From Robin Hood to Criminal. Dave shares his journey from a struggling college student to a master thief.
A Sorority Girl's Wild Ride. Christine recounts the night she stole a cop car during a chaotic protest.

Episode highlights

Episode quotes

I could have gone to prison, not jail, prison.

Reflecting on the seriousness of his crimes.

5:40WatchFeb 16, 2024

Tension

65/ 100Some tension

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