America's Dumbest Criminals - Season 4, Episode 23 - Recipe for Disaster - Full Episode | Forensic Files

NARRATOR: Tonight on "America's Dumbest Criminals," right away you know this inmate's not
going to get out early on good behavior. No, this isn't Julia Child making bouillabaisse.
This concoction is a recipe for disaster. And these pot smoking workmen were in charge
of installing a surveillance system in a jail, and look how well it works. Oh, the crooks scheme and scam like there's no tomorrow.
But as you'll see, there's always a catch here on "America's Dumbest Criminals."
[police radio] -Duh. NARRATOR: Now, welcome your hosts for "ADC," Daniel Butler and Debbie Alan.
[applause] -Thank you. Thank you. So, what do you think about my fancy statement, Debbie?
[laughs] -I think it says, help me, I've lost the other four Village People. -Oh, ho!
That's cold, Debbie. It's really cold. No, no, see, we've got a story tonight about a crook on a Harley.
So I thought I'd dress the part like Marlon Brando in "The Wild Bunch." -Yeah, but you're more mild than wild-- of course,
maybe if they made Dockers in leather. -Hey, come on now. I think you're just envious, Debbie.
-I don't think so. -No, it's all right. You can admit it. Look, but old Dan didn't forget you.
I got you this biker chick hat, OK? -I don't think so. -So you can join in the biker chick look.
Come on. -No. -No, come on, come on, watch. Here we go. Huh? Huh? Hey. -OK, what do you think?
-I don't think so, no. I just, uh, uh, I don't think you're the biker chick type,
you know? The best you could hope for maybe, even with the hat, is like patrol mother gone bad, I think.
-Hey, maybe I like that. You, toddler! Run again and you're toast! -Oh, Debbie. Want to see my tattoo?
-No. -No, no, no, really. -No, really. -No, here, I got it, it was a little lick,
lick it and stick it. I just haven't figured out where to lick it and stick it yet.
-While you're working on that, I'll introduce the first story. You're about to meet a crew of construction workers
who were good at their jobs of installing security cameras. In fact, they were too good for their own good
and that's why they were caught on camera. -We've got a brand new jail here in Benton County, Arkansas.
-During the construction of the jail facility, um, we received information that two individuals who
were installing the, uh, surveillance equipment for the jail were, were selling narcotics and using narcotics.
-We utilized our new surveillance equipment that would, had been installed in the jail.
And you can see the two individuals who are just pulling out of the, the parking space.
And there was an undercover officer as well as a video surveillance, which would watch them eat
their lunch and then they smoked a joint. -We'd go around to the backside of the jail
and, and, uh, kind of surrounding them as they were starting to leave out. -After the two were, were placed under arrest for possession,
the K-9 came in and did search the vehicle. And we did find more, um, narcotics and drug
paraphernalia inside the vehicle. -The dumbest part of all this is the smoking marijuana at the new jail.
[applause] -[inaudible]. "The Blair Witch Project" was about a trio of young people
who got in over their heads in the Maryland woods, but forged on in pursuit of answers.
-Well, we've got a duo of young people who get in over their heads at a Louisiana country club,
but commit forgery in their pursuit of a free meal. -But their upward mobility is about to take
a sudden downturn. And just like the "Blair Witch" filmmakers, they leave something to remember me by.
-Here in Louisiana, we have some very nice, very exclusive country clubs. But early one morning this year, we were called to one
of those country clubs after two teenage boys who were apparently were skipping school
had gone in, eaten a very hearty and very expensive breakfast-- -It's the most expensive thing on here.
-Yeah, yeah. ---and then forged a name on, on the account. Unbeknownst to them, the owner of that account
had already detected unauthorized charges on his last statement and had notified
the country club to be on the lookout. -Are you sure this is your card? -Yeah, that's mine. That's mine.
-Is that his account? -Yeah, that's my account. -So they simply stalled bringing the gentleman their bill
while we came and arrested them. The deputy was somewhat merciful. Rather than booking them with a felony of forgery,
the deputy simply issued them summonses for misdemeanor theft. Then he followed them to high schools,
as they were already truant, and made sure they got where they were going. The alternative, of course, would have been letting them
sample the breakfast at the Parrish Jail. [applause] -I'll never forget that threat-laced statement,
you'd better not step out of line. -Said by a teacher, biker boy? -Oh, who hasn't said that to me, Deb?
-It's probably true. Right now, let's look at a bank robber who claimed he was armed, but he definitely
wasn't calling the shots. See what we mean. This bank robber seems like he's in a hurry,
but inside he'd been ridiculously patient. He entered this South Florida bank and announced that he would detonate a pipe bomb
unless the tellers handed over their money. They responded that he would have to get back in line if he
wanted cash-- amazingly, he did. While the robber waited, they slyly called police who had time to get into position
before the man made his exit. And his pipe bomb? Well, it turned out to be just a cardboard toilet paper roll.
Although he gets points for being patient, he proves that a fool and his money are soon parted.
[applause] NARRATOR: In Houston, beer may not be purchased after midnight on a Sunday, but it may be purchased on a Monday.
-So I'm not sure when Monday begins in Houston, but I know when trouble began for a guy who
was about a half dozen beers shy of a six pack. Watch as this gambling gourmet gambles that police will
swallow one of America's dumbest excuses. -I was on patrol. I stopped at a red light and casually
glanced over at the car next to me. There was a man driving. And he purposely looked over at me, picked up a cooking pot
and drank out of it, looked over at me again and set the pot down. The light turned green.
[squealing tires] I pulled him over, asked for his driver's license, et cetera, asked what was in the pot.
And he very happily, graciously complied and showed me what was in the pot. It was full of beer.
Apparently, he thought he'd found a loophole in the system whereas he could pour a six pack into the pot,
and drink out of the pot thinking that wasn't an open container. It, it's still an open container.
-No, no, that's supposed to be in a bottle. That means open bottle. -Yeah, it's still an open container.
I think there was a loophole in his thinking. [applause] -People who live in glass houses shouldn't throw bricks.
It's not a particularly good idea for guys who think they can get away with robbing convenience
stores, either-- especially on the kind of schedule this guy established. Here's tonight's blue light special.
-About 2:30 in the morning, I'd been driving around, uh, the neighborhood on our east side of town.
Uh, and there's a Circle K store in that neighborhood, and I'd seen somebody hanging out by the phones at about 2:30
that morning. And he was distinctive, because he had a white hardhat, a black leather jacket.
Looked like he probably just came off, uh, his night shift. About an hour later, I got a, uh,
an alarm that, uh, there had been a glass break at 38th and Harlan, which is the Circle K store.
And went back over there, but that gentleman was not there anymore. Um, so checked the door-- it looked like somebody had taken
a cinder block and smashed it repeatedly. So I called for a manager to come. And, um, talking with her a little bit and here
comes this character back in the white hardhat and black leather jacket. I asked him if there was anything
I could do to help him. He said no, he just wanted to see the excitement. And then he went over and made a phone call.
Said he needed to get a ride home from work which I thought was unusual, since he was there an hour before.
But I went inside with the clerk and, uh, and we looked at the surveillance tape.
She gets it backed up to the, the place that we want to watch. As we get it to that spot, there's my, uh,
my character with the white hardhat and the black leather jacket. You'll see here that he, uh, is walking
toward the, the doors with a cinder block. And here he's throwing the cinder block at the front door
and it just disintegrates, but he can't seem to get that glass to break. So here you see he's picking up the smaller
pieces of cinder block. He's going to throw that back at the door and, and that still doesn't do it--
they just disintegrate on the door as well. So he gets frustrated, and you can see here
he walks up to the door and he just starts kicking it with his boots and that finally does it.
So I got on the radio right away and said, oh, this guy was just outside. Let me see if I can go get him.
When I ran out the front doors, he was just standing on the phone. I said, uh, get, turn around and put
your hands behind your back. So, uh, his night just got progressively worse. [applause]
-P.T. Barnum said that there was a sucker born every minute, and those who run carnival midways count on it.
The people who operate the games count on your money running out before their luck does.
But sometimes a game operator doesn't leave things to chance. Ah, a new category of crime for us.
For the pros and cons of carnival life, we go to Corporal Glenn Hester in Glynn County, Georgia.
-I was inspecting carnival games at one of the local fairs that we had here. And one of the operators had what
they call a peach or a bushel basket game. The object is to throw a ball into the basket
and if it stays, and you can do it twice, you win. Well, I asked the operator to go ahead
and show me how it was done. Well, he's inside the booth area so he tosses one in.
I ask him, are players allowed to be in the booth? He said, no, they are where you are.
I said, then come on out here. He came out to the point of the player, threw one to the side which was a cross throw.
I showed him the rules he had hanging. I said, remember, the rules say no cross throwing.
So he tried to throw one into it without a ball already in it, and he couldn't do it.
And I told him, I said, you want to try another basket? He went to the other basket that had the ball already in it,
which will deaden the basket so that it won't bounce out. Well, he got that one in.
But then I showed him the rule, you must throw into an empty basket. He tried again into an empty basket.
Finally, the only way he could get it in was to hit the rim. But he had a rule which says rim shots don't count.
So I gave him a choice-- either shut it down and get it out or count the rim shots, and he
decided to go for the rim shots. [applause] -And now with the news. From the man who puts the anchor in anchorman,
here's Daniel with the ADC headlines. [applause] -Two bogus businessmen in Tennessee
convinced dozens of people to invest in a high tech diesel truck they claimed that they were going to manufacture.
The first sign of trouble? They periodically siphoned assets off by simply making large checks out to cash.
More questionable was that the hucksters claimed to be the half brother of Sylvester Stallone
and the cousin of Elvis Presley-- two names not immediately associated with advanced technology.
Six lessons from a genius in Amity, Oregon. Lesson number one, don't drive drunk.
Lesson number two, don't drive off after officers stop you. Lesson number three, don't fire upon the officers
following you. Lesson number four, don't abandon your truck and continue running on foot through a muddy field
on a cold night. Keep up with me now. Lesson number five, don't leave your mucked up boots in the mud
and keep running. Lesson number six, don't further humiliate yourself by being caught sitting in a freezing cold outhouse
with toilet paper wrapped around your feet. [laughter] Please. Your dignity takes a dive, OK?
All right, hunger put the bite on a bank robber who made off with his haul, but decided to stop for pizza-- a mere four
blocks from the scene of the crime. When police entered the pizzeria as part of an area
wide canvass, the crook got nervous and tried to bolt. He was quickly nabbed by the policeman,
and by the 50 corrections officers who had gathered there following a golf tournament.
And that closes the file on ADC headlines, news ripped from somewhere near the back
of your local newspaper. Debbie? [applause] -Remember Daniel's motorcycle attire
at the beginning of the show? Well, here's the story we were talking about. Clearly, the guy on the hog had been wearing
his helmet too tight to try what he tried. He wheeled his way right into our special delivery.
-Years before in our old station, uh, during the summers, we used to prop the front door open.
There was this gentleman who had an active warrant for him and he knew it. And he, we used to see him drive around on his Harley
all the time. Well, this, this, this guy, he was just so attached to his motorcycle that he, he
couldn't leave his motorcycle. So when he knew he was going to get caught sooner or later,
and since he was so attached to his motorcycle, he just decided to bring his motorcycle with him,
um, drive it through a front door and took it in the cell with him. Backed himself in the cell with his motorcycle.
This guy couldn't live without his motorcycle, so he had to take it with him. But, um, we finally had to take it away from him.
[applause] -When you think of a masked crime fighter, who comes to mind-- Batman, The Lone Ranger, Chicken Man?
Well, watch as we unveil a new hero who's come out of the woods to join their ranks.
-Uh, My Partner Kim and I were on, uh, bike patrol along the Truckee River. Uh, we smelled the burning odor of marijuana
coming from along the river. When we rode down there, we found two guys standing along the river.
Um, they obviously had been smoking the marijuana, and they had the smell all about them.
We questioned them about it and they denied it. Uh, we got a permission to search from them.
Uh, didn't find anything on them. And during the search I looked down along the river,
and there was a raccoon sitting along the bank with his hand in the water, reaching in the water.
I didn't know what he was doing. I went over there and looked, and there was a marijuana pipe
and a baggie of marijuana down on the bottom of the river about a foot below the surface that he was trying to get.
Well I, uh, looked over at the guys, and I said, hey, the raccoon found your stuff that you threw in the river.
And they just kind of looked at me. I said, well, the raccoon just got you arrested.
[applause] NARRATOR: Now, let's look back at one of "ADC's" greatest hits. -Look at me.
I've stolen a car. Hey, and I'm a bad dancer, too. [police sirens] I'm on the run.
Hey, I don't know what you're all mad about. I'm going to jail. Poor me. [applause]
NARRATOR: In Pennsylvania, it's illegal to use dynamite to catch fish. -I was working off-duty security at an arcade for young folks.
And part of my duties was to stay inside, of course, and keep order. But another part was to occasionally patrol the parking
lot and make sure the kids weren't congregating out there, vandalizing cars, or whatever.
As soon as I stepped out the door, I could smell very strong odor of marijuana. And about 20 or 30 yards away, across the driveway,
there was one car with one person in it. They was the only people out there, it had to be where it was coming from.
There was no way to sneak up on him. All I could do was walk in plain view across the parking
lot to his vehicle, so this is what I did. And I'm standing there, and I observe that he's bent over
and he's rolling a marijuana cigarette very, very carefully and very methodically.
And he's, he's like rolling it two or three times. It was probably not his first one today.
And he finally, he gets it where he wants it, and he goes to lick it to seal it.
He goes, oh, no! He just finished it and hands me the cigarette, and that's another reason they call me "Doob."
-Our final story takes us to Carlsbad Caverns, New Mexico, where a cave holds a dark secret.
-Aw, I love caves, don't you? All the cool formations. Did you know that stalactites are
just drips that wouldn't quit? -Sounds like the story of your life. -I learned that.
Now, ouch! Come on, you're picking on me. -No, you're always picking on me. -Now, well, I like that arrangement.
But look, all right, while I recover from Debbie getting mean spirited on me, let's take a look at we're
not making this up. -Several years ago, we had a couple of guys that, that showed up here and thought
they were going to hijack this place. Um, I'm not really sure where they thought
they were going to take it, but, uh, they had some place in mind. So they came on down, had a couple of shotguns,
blew a couple rounds off, uh, demanded a, an airplane and, uh, a trip to Cuba or Chile or someplace.
What we did for them was we turned the lights out. They didn't think that was too much fun
and, uh, ended up giving themselves up. And what we gave them was a free trip to town into jail.
To catch them, all we did was turn the lights off on them. -What would you do? I mean, I wonder where you hide a hijacked cave, huh?
Maybe you bury it. -Well, you work on that. Meanwhile, I'll say our good nights, OK?
-Well, I'd like to personally say many thanks to the bikers who may have been offended by my attire
at the beginning of the show. I really, really don't want you folks mad at me. Just a little joke.
-And we'd like to thank the police officers who helped us tonight. Law enforcement is a tough job, and we
appreciate your hard work. -Yep. And we'll be back next week with a gang of new crook stories.
But if you can't wait until then for more state of the art stupidity, visit our website.
You'll find us at www.dumbcrimes.com. -As always, we hope that we've all learned from others' mistakes.
-But if you haven't, we just might see you next week on "America's Dumbest Criminals."
-Bye bye. [applause]

In this episode of “America’s Dumbest Criminals,” we’ll witness an inmate who isn’t getting out on good behavior, someone not cooking like Julia Child and pot-smoking workmen who helped set up the camera that caught them.

Crime is no laughing matter, except when the criminals are bumbling fools. Hosted by Debbie Alan and Daniel Butler, this show looks at lawbreakers through a humorous lens.

Brief Summary

Construction workers caught using drugs while installing jail surveillance systems and other foolish criminal antics are featured in this episode.

Key points

Construction Workers Caught on Camera. A crew of construction workers installing security cameras gets caught using drugs on the job.
Teenage Boys Forge Breakfast Bill. Two teens enjoy a lavish breakfast at an exclusive country club, but their forgery leads to their arrest.
Bank Robber's Pipe Bomb Fiasco. A bank robber threatens with a pipe bomb that turns out to be a cardboard roll.
Raccoon Helps Police Arrest Drug Users. A raccoon inadvertently assists police in catching two men smoking marijuana by the river.
Cave Hijacking Gone Wrong. Two men attempt to hijack a cave but are thwarted by a simple power outage.

Episode highlights

Episode quotes

This concoction is a recipe for disaster.

NARRATOR introduces a story about a failed crime.

0:16WatchMar 10, 2022

Tension

30/ 100Low tension

More from True Crime Files

Solve the Crime

Read a real case one clue at a time, then see how your call held up against the investigators.