Listener Tales 111 - Camping Tales | Forensic Files

Hey weirdos, I'm Bigfoot >> and I'm Moth Man. >> Duh. I actually can't believe you like
knocked on my man like that. >> Yeah, >> it's crazy. >> He belongs to everybody. I feel
>> news to me. News to me, Moth Man. Um, my costume didn't come in time. So >> So
>> pretend I'm Bigfoot. >> Yeah, I cricketed that. >> She made this for me. Moth man. Woman.
Moth man. >> Moth mama. Moth mama. I love it. I also just like that you're wearing like Nancy
from the craft sunglasses. I respect it. That's actually >> I'm excited for these.
>> I was going to say, would you just wear those anyway? >> Yeah. >> Um Oh, and this is morbid.
Yep. And it's listener tales in case you didn't know why you were here. >> It is brought to you by you, for you,
from you, and all about you. And this listener tale is camping themed, >> which is why we are creatures of the
forest. >> Camping is something I am unfamiliar with >> and something I would never like to be
familiar with again. You've camped before? Like in a tent? When I was younger? >> In a tent?
>> Yeah. >> No. >> Yeah. >> I learned new things about her every day. >> Yeah. With one with one of my friends. I
went with their family. >> Why? >> Cuz I thought it was going to be fun. >> I went camping. One.
>> Donna. >> Whoa. >> That's my mother-in-law's name. >> Donna, are you watching?
>> Wait, doesn't Donna like camping? >> Oh my god. Donna loves camping. >> Yeah, Donna loves camping.
>> He's reminding me I went glamping. >> He's like, "You camped with Donna?" >> And I did. And I told you about this,
but when Drew Drew's family doesn't they used to camp like when they were younger, but they glamp or not even
really anymore, but they used to glamp. >> They had like a really nice um >> You can't stay.
>> You can't stay. >> Nicholas, we only ask like an hour of your time if that's okay.
>> Is it my story? Is it just that you don't care? >> Can you stay for like an hour?
>> It's a lot of questions. Sorry. >> If you could stay for like an hour, that would be sick. But if you can't, I
understand. You have things to do. That's one of the only times that I ever got um sleep paralysis is when I stayed
in there. That makes sense. I don't know if it's I don't know if I'm not sure what the difference between a camper and
an RV is. Is there one? >> Beats me. >> They had a nice thing that we >> go pack.
>> Go back. >> Go back. Go back. >> I'm not going to. >> He said it seems like it was nice.
>> No, here's why I'm not going to. Okay. >> It was like an, you know, a vehicle that
you park in the woods and you sleep in. >> Um like a nice one. And I got sleep paralysis there. And I thought of the
blur witch a lot. >> It's valid. >> It was scary. >> I think that's so fair. >> Thank you.
>> And if you're going to get sleep paralysis anywhere, it's going to be camping.
>> Yeah. I don't want to do it again. >> I won't be doing it again. >> Oh, I don't like it.
>> I will not be doing it again. I don't belong sleeping outside. >> I don't like the woods. We just went
into the woods and I stepped in Poison Ivy and now I'm really paranoid about it.
>> I mean, I love the woods. >> I like looking at the woods >> and I like like a nice walk through the
woods. Yeah. >> And I loved, you know, I I like hanging in the woods sometimes. I don't, but
like but I feel like it's it's whimsical. It's vibby. >> I haven't hung out in the woods since I
was like a drunk teenager. >> And like there you remember woods parties and Yeah. So that was a thing.
>> I actually referenced woods parties um during one of my live show segments. >> Oh, there you go.
>> Yeah, that's funny. >> Oh, woods parties were the best. >> They were fun. >> What I would give
>> the woods. >> Yeah, that's fair. >> That's a good thing in the woods, but I'm not sleeping out there. Somebody
would inevitably always say THE COPS ARE COMING and everyone would run into the like into the actual woods out of the
clearing. >> Every time someone would yell cops >> and the cops were never coming.
>> They were never coming. >> Except the cops did come one time. >> So >> they did come one time.
>> That one time they did come, but that wasn't my business. >> Well, now that's the woods. So,
>> and this and this is the your that's our woods, but this is brought to you by
Euphoria from you and all about you. So, we need to move on from us. >> This is your woods. Tell tell us
>> this is not our woods. >> Tell us the tale of of the camping woods. >> So the first woods that are your woods
>> your woods. >> Yours woods. >> Um this is gonna The first one is don't drink those [ __ ] murder beers and how
my dog vomited to save our lives. >> What do you do? Sorry, it's been a little while. You can just hang out. Um
and if you have anything to say, go right ahead and say it because you're spooky and everyone loves you, Nicholas.
>> Period. >> Okay. So, whatever you feel, if you have something you want to yell out, yell it
out, babe. >> In fact, more people are into your vibes, Nicholas. Lately, >> they are.
>> We had a few haters. Still do. But >> yeah, but you're always going to have haters, Nicholas. That's how you know
that you're doing something right. >> Yeah, you probably have a page on Reddit. >> You absolutely have a page on Reddit.
I'm sure. >> That's how you know you made it. But >> it all comes around and eventually
people love you. >> Exactly. Can't get enough. >> Nicholas, they're loving you. >> And Nicholas, I don't know. Maybe you
should come to the live show with us for a little while. >> Yeah, he's gonna >> I don't know.
Uh, so let's let's start here. So, the murder beer guy and why you should never camp in Bend, Oregon.
>> Uh, I said Oregon. I said it right. >> Good for you. >> For you. But in my heart,
>> it's >> Oregon. >> Also, I'm never going to camp in Bend, Oregon. >> No. >> And I'm never going to camp anywhere.
>> No. Especially not Oregon because of the Oregon Trail. >> I'm not going to get dysentery. That's
right, James. >> Uh, this is a doozy and maybe too long. I'm not sure. I like that. I like that
you're not sure right when we start. You're like, I don't really know. >> Um, I want to start out in a good
oldfashioned listener tales tradition and say how I almost said stinkedked because I'm wearing sunglasses. How
stoked I am to have found your podcast. My name is Sarah and yes, you can use it. Sarah,
>> uh, my therapist says that listening to your podcast is almost like a meditation. I love that. That was before
I mentioned it was a murder pod. >> I was wondering if your therapist had all the information. I said, "Wow, me
and my partner are tattoo artists and we spend a good amount of time traveling."
This wasn't the first time we had camped near Bend. I like this. >> I like this.
>> I like this so far. I like you. I like this. I like this. Sarah, the best description I can make of the humans
that inhabit this dusty, forsaken land is as follows. Everyone is either a hipster, a hippie, or straight up good
old boy, backwoods redneck. Whoa. Those are three distinct things >> for a short moment.
>> Yeah. >> And then you said good old boy and I said hate that. >> Hate that. So I'm going to take these
off while I read because my eyes are not good enough. And then while you read I will put them back on.
>> Perfect. >> The three don't get along but everyone can agree on one thing. The woods are a
place are the place to be. And there are a lot of woods in this area. I mean, hundreds of square miles of dense,
uninhabited woodlands from mountain biking, camping, river rafting, hiking, off-roading, shooting guns. There's a
lot of outdoorsy stuff to do in the area. And that brings us to our story. >> I don't know why I felt the need to do
that. >> I really liked that you did that to be honest. You just went like, >> am I allowed to YouTube do that?
>> Can you boof on YouTube? You can boof on YouTube. >> I don't know. Are we still going to get monetized
>> if you boof on YouTube? Well, not No, not boof. That means poop. That doesn't
even bo means poop to me. Like I'm always like, "Oh, got to boof." But to other people, I think that means shove a
tampon soaked in alcohol up your butt to get drunk. Who are these other people? I'm too old for this.
>> It really doesn't. >> I'm too old to be on the internet. Wait, we have a Gen Z book behind the camera.
That's what boofing is, isn't it? >> Yeah, you're on it. >> Like I I've always just Well, not
always. One day I just started calling pooping boofing and farting for that matter, too. This is a little about me.
>> Honestly, I like that. Like that makes sense. Like I feel like that that's right.
>> Yeah. But but I shouldn't say it too much in front of people that don't know me cuz they're like, "Oh, you're just
announcing the soak a tampon and alcohol. Put it in your butt." >> It's not even that. It can literally
just be >> Yeah. >> The bottle. >> Just the bottle. Wow. >> You put the BOTTLE IN YOUR BUTT.
>> WHY? WHAT? Oh my god. >> Wow. I'm >> How does that work? I feel like you'd have to do a handstand for that to work.
>> He said, "Yep." >> Yep. >> I don't know how we got here. >> I'm from another time, so I don't know.
I've I've landed here accidentally. >> My people just dread. >> Yeah. My people just go over the
>> via the the mouth. >> I don't know about this. >> Uh so my partner Chago is really into
mountain biking and there are some really popular trails in the area. First I just read that as is really into
mountain. >> Just really into mountain. >> My partner Chago loves mountain. >> One thing about me love mountain.
>> Chago plus mountain equal love. >> And by the head of one of the main trails is BLM land dispersed campsites.
If you don't know what that means, it's basically free campsites with zero camp amenities like toilets, benches, tables,
designated campsites, or a camp host. And it says, "Yay [ __ ] in a hole >> or booofing
>> or Just primitive camping in the creepy woods. We love that kind of thing. Especially since it's free. That sounds
horrifying to me. I'm not going to lie. >> Shooting in a hole. >> All of that. Yeah.
>> Like that. There's nothing. There's no amenities. There's no toilets, benches,
tables, designated campsites, a campost, nothing. >> Yeah. I don't like it. >> Yeah. So, it was Shago and I. I hope I'm
saying his name right. Chago. >> I think Chago. >> Right. That's what I think. So, it was
Chago and I with our pup camping out out here down a long dirt road off the side
of a main highway. We were maybe half a mile down this dirt road at a campsite that was pretty far away from any other
people camping out there. We hate people. >> So do we. >> Same. Down the road, a a bit deeper is
there were bigger campsites with a ton of people in their RVs and trailers and some tent camps. And a bit further down,
they had some logging activity happening. So big logging trucks were occasionally seen barreling down the
dusty road. The first night went swimmingly. Our pup's first camping trip had her rolling in the dirt like the
little piggy she was. And I had my hammock up and a nice book. Oh, relaxing. Chago rode his mountain bike
to the local trails and was gone for a couple hours while I just hung out at the site. Then we drove into town to see
my nephews and afterwards we met up with some friends and had some drinks. We got
back to the camp kind of late that night, and Chago was pretty buzzed. This night was not so relaxing with him being
in a booze induced bear-like hibernation. I felt alone and kind of scared. >> I don't blame you. The forest was too
quiet. Every little snap of a twig had my heart jumping. My dog either picked up on my anxiety or just felt the vibe
and was whisper whisper borking at every noise I got. I love when they do that. >> I know exactly that whisper that like
>> sometimes DO does it in her sleep. >> Yep. Something wasn't right. Not even the crickets. Confusion is right. Not
even the crickets were chirping like they were the like they were the night before. Dead silent. Now I have a
completely irrational fear of Bigfoot murdering me in my sleep. Scream. >> He said you should scream.
>> Yeah. Yell. Sarah, >> that will make Bigfoot go away. >> Listen, we're misunderstood.
>> But I feel like a scream would make you be like, "Oh, >> yeah. I'd go away. I don't want to hear
it, but like I'm not going to murder you." >> Well, and that's the thing. you hear a
scream, you're like, "Oh, that was not my intention. Sorry. I didn't mean to upset you."
>> Kind of bums me out. >> Yeah, of course. I've always felt that way about >> bother anyone.
>> Yeah, big feet. They just they just want to buy >> Bigfoot feet. >> Yeah, Bigfoot feet. Um, I have a
completely irrational fear of Bigfoot murdering me in my sleep while camping. And this for was forest was very
squatchy, as the guys on the show Bigfoot Hunters like to say. I actually love that.
>> How dare they hunt me? >> So, how dare they? So, I just chocked the bad feeling up to these squatchy
woods in my irrational fear and finally drifted off to an unsettled sleep. >> Squatchy is a gross word.
>> It's kind of hilarious. >> Like automatia. >> The next day, Chago and I had a bit of a
tiff and him having a brutal hangover was surely to blame. >> I decided to take a walk for some air
and took my dog with me. She is a Frenchy and quite buff, so she looks kind of tough. That being said, she's
scared of literally anything, including piles of towels that weren't there earlier, or statues or reflections in
the mirror. >> I'm obsessed with that. >> Anyways, we walked up the road deeper into the woods and turned off to the
right hand side after I spotted a pile of rocks that seemed like a good lookout spot to contemplate my whole existence
and try to distract myself. >> Were you pretending that you were in a music video?
>> Oh, absolutely. >> I hope so. >> Yeah, you have to. >> You always have to. It's to do when
you're walking or when you're alone in the car. Yeah. Driving in the rain. >> Yes. Looking out the window.
>> You are the main character >> in your mom's Ford Taurus in the back seat. >> And here's the thing. Always do that
forever. >> It's called whimsical. >> Be the main character of your own life. Okay. And don't feel bad about it.
>> Romanticize that [ __ ] >> Yeah. Romanticize. >> What? >> Happy. He's romanticizing his life.
>> He is. He's like, I love that. That makes me happy. Cuz Nicholas, you're the main character of our lives as well.
>> Yeah. Uh, so we were a few hundred feet from the dirt road down a slight hill.
That's where I heard a noise coming from behind me and deeper into the woods. A kind of specific rumbling of an engine
and a blasting of AC/DC through some shitty speakers. >> What sound? >> Very specific sounding.
>> True. >> True. >> I turned around to see Sorry. >> I turned around to see where the noise
was coming from and spotted a white Ford cargo van coming down the road. >> That's never good. I'm going to get out
of there. >> Run. >> The front windows were down and I could see a man with a scraggly beard and a
weird sun hat singing loudly and moving erratically. >> I don't hate it quite yet.
>> That's I'm not like totally put off by this yet. >> He's just singing >> slightly
>> moving erratically. >> Yeah, >> maybe he's just a white person dancing. I'm known to move erratically as well.
>> We're all known to do that. >> Yeah. My dog's hair stood on end all down her body and got a creeping and I
got a creep creeping anxious feeling as he passed out of sight heading towards our camp in the main road. I
specifically remember thinking as he passed, "Thank [ __ ] he didn't see us down here alone in the woods."
>> Well, trust your gut. >> That's a gut feeling, babe. >> We weren't there and we're in our house.
So, >> what do we know? >> You tell me that you suddenly felt bank [ __ ] that he didn't see us alone in the
woods. That tells me something. M uh shortly after I saw Chago emerge from the trees riding up the road on his
mountain bike. He spotted us and came down to where we were. He mentioned that he saw a white van pass our camp. He
said the van slowed down and the man driving made eye contact with my partner as he crept past our camp.
He looked like he was scoping out our campsite, Chago said. So I knew I had to come find you and make sure you weren't
in the back of that van. >> That's nice. >> Yeah, that was very nice. Especially
after a fight. >> I know. I still love you. >> The thought made me shiver. We hung out
for a bit and made up. Tried tried tried to teach our dog how to ride alongside the bike. The little dumb baby did great
until she bolted in front of the bike's path. Almost causing Chago to >> Almost causing power. Was that power?
>> He said collar. >> I thought he said. >> He said collar. >> He said collar. >> He said collar collar.
>> Like a collar. Like a dog collar. >> That's crazy. >> He said you should put that dog back on
a leash. Yeah, >> leash him on the collar. >> Yeah, >> that's what he was saying.
>> Nicholas, >> whoa, you listen. He does. Uh, she did great until she bolted in front of the
bike's path, almost causing Chago to ye himself off the bike. >> That's tough. >> Uh, we then walked back to That is
tough. We then walked back to camp, forgetting the weird band guy and getting ready to head to town. As we
were packing up, I heard a noise coming from the direction of where the dirt road starts. Through the densely packed
barren trunk trunks of dusty trees, I saw the first glimpses of white. It was the van. The roar of the engines
and blasting tiny music was very specific. I said, "Fuck, it's that van again." The anxiety
started again. We sat and watched a rumble up the road through the trees. As it came closer, we just knew some [ __ ]
was going to happen. But it's like we were frozen. It got closer to our isolated single campsite and then
[ __ ] rolled to a stop. >> I hate it here. >> Before we knew what was happening, my
dog flipped her [ __ ] and started barking like I've never heard and ran at the van. Get her, I shouted to Chago as he
tried to chase after her. The man leaned out his window and I could see his greasy long black beard and long hair.
>> "Wash your hair!" >> His weird straw sun hat and truck stop sunglasses kind of obscured his face.
There's nothing wrong with gas station sunglasses, >> but like put together with all this.
>> Yeah, it's true. >> He was trying to say something to us through the nasty tobacco stained face
hole that was missing some front teeth. >> Oh no. >> Our dog was still going cuckoo nuts. And
though the barking through the barking, the guy asked, "Do you guys drink?" >> Not with you, babe.
>> Huh? At this moment, Chago reached the van and my dog and was trying to wrangle her
in while trying to look as tough as possible. I'm getting my French bald Frenchie. We
were both almost fully covered in tattoos and he is such an intimidating looking guy. This did nothing for us in
this case. It was chaos. He tried to calm our dog down and as he was trying, the man turned around and reached for
something in the back of his windowless white van. So cliche. >> At the exact same time as this man
reached behind him, my dog stopped barking and turned to look back at me. I saw why she stopped barking. She was
basically projectile vomiting at that moment. >> What a superpower. >> She right. She was like,
>> "I'll save you." >> She was looking back at me with panic in her eyes. She was so worked up over this
greasy human that she puked. >> I get it. >> Same girl. Same. She said, "Stay away
from my pawins." Insert vomit noises at the end of paws. >> There you go. Anyways, the man turned
back around and had something in his hands. It was two beers. Chago was so caught off guard from the projectile
vomiting. LDB little dumb baby, he just instinctively took them out of the man's
greasy, dirty hands. >> Rapture. >> Rapture. >> Not the rapture, honey. Nicholas, right
now. I think we just got past a rapture. >> I'm sure. I'm sure another one scheduled.
>> What would you do if I just went floating up into the ether? >> You just went
>> I was just like, "Oh, I'm going to heaven. Bye, guys." >> Me and Nathan are just like, "Fuck you.
You both go. She wasn't even baptized. >> God damn. >> Well, you guys were both baptized,
weren't you? >> Yeah. >> Yeah. You'd be so pissed. >> Yeah. >> She doesn't even go here.
>> I'm his godmother. >> Oh my god. I think like technically you're mine, too, even though I didn't
get baptized. My mom was like, "Yeah, that's how that works." >> That's me. >> My mom claimed she baptized me herself
at the hospital, but I don't think that works that way. >> I think that's how that works.
>> She said she found some holy water. She probably just like found this man with
the beer. Someone poured one on my head. So that'll work. That'll do. >> She found the little basin somewhere and
she was like liquid. >> It was probably like somebody's bed pen. >> Somebody's piss that she just found.
>> That explains a lot about me. Thanks, Dar. Leave it in. >> Anyway, we'll see what happens next
rapture with Nicholas. But that's that's evidently why I won't be getting picked.
I was baptized in a bed pan. Canon. A canon event. >> Oh god. Now people are going to message
me AND BE LIKE, I'LL BAPTIZE YOU. >> YEAH, IT'S GOING TO get weird. Just get ready. Uh, thanks man. Have a nice day.
Chago said in a way that invited no further dialogue and was very direct in the deepest man voice.
>> Get out. >> The guy smiled a gross, crazy looking smile and slowly rolled off. That's when
he turned his attention to me, still sitting far back away from the road, trying to position myself behind my
parked car. I love that. >> He made eye contact and as he rolled by, he shouted to me, "I like your hair. You
look like my sister." >> What the [ __ ] >> Your sister. >> I love that. You look like my sister.
>> That's mine. >> That's mine. >> That's mine. I don't know what that >> is. That your sister, Nicholas,
>> that's mine. He's like, that's my life. Using my best unfuckwithable tough [ __ ]
face, I just politely but sternly replied, "Thanks." and stared him down as his van crawled away.
>> E >> Chago dragged our girl back to camp and we tried to clean her up. After that,
>> the house, he said, he said, "Go back to the house. Get out of the campsite."
>> After that was done, uh, we looked at the beers the man had handed him. They were called Boneyard something. Don't
drink those [ __ ] beers. I told Chago as he put them in the [ __ ] cooler like a dingus maximus.
>> We packed up extra light, extra tight. Look, all took all our valuables with us
and headed to town to take my nephews on a bike ride to a more kid-friendly park.
This park we went also had some more advanced trails. So, while I sat and hung out with the children, Chago took a
couple laps on his bike. generally enjoying the day and forgetting about the weirdness from earlier. Me and the
boys played in the sunshine and chased butterflies. This that's adorable. >> I love that.
>> I heard the familiar worring of Chago's bike and looked up. Surprised by the look of alarm on his face, I stood up
and asked, "What's wrong?" as he finally reached us. He told me about how during
his ride, he ran into an older guy at the top of the trail and had a very interesting and alarming conversation.
>> Uhoh. The old guy told Chiago that he wouldn't have been on this particular move out of my way.
>> Move out of my way. He said, "Move, [ __ ] Get out the way." He >> said, "Move out of my way. You're in the
middle of my trail." Well, this older guy, he had a very interesting conversation. The old guy
told Chago that he wouldn't have been on this particular trail if it wasn't for a
closure. >> Apologize. >> I'm sorry. Nicholas was like, "I would never say this."
>> Immune. >> He's immune to your apology. >> Uh, my deepest apologies. >> Oh, no.
>> I didn't do anything. >> Well, apparently there was a closure of Phil's trail head where we were camping.
>> Oh, god damn it. >> Chicago thought he was just talking about how because of the logging in the
area, some of the trails me. >> He's talking like really long sentences. >> I know.
>> What did he say? >> Coming to get me. Who's coming to get you, Nicholas? >> Am I in your way?
>> God damn. >> I I can't really move, but like I I can move for a moment if you got to go
somewhere. >> Like a second. Chago thought he was just talking about how because of the logging
in the area, some of the trails over there were closed. No, not that, the guy continued. The police barricade of the
road, the canine units, helicopters, drones, and complete energy evac emergency evacuation of the area. due to
a criminal on the loose. >> "What? You guys missed that?" "Oh [ __ ] we're camping over there," Chago
responded. That appar that was happening while they were in the other park. >> "Oh,
oh, is it you they're looking for then?" The guy Coily asked as he laughed and rode away.
>> He said, "I got to fuck." >> I love that he said, "Fuck that." Immediately, I got on my phone and
started searching the news for any information. The closure and emergency evacuations were confirmed. The cause
was someone in the exact campground area we had at our we had our camp at had called in and threatened to kill
everyone in the area and then kill themselves. That said, they said that they had full a fully loaded rifle and
handgun with them. >> Oh my god. >> Panicking, we packed up and headed to town, but the closure was still active,
so we dared not try to return to camp. We sat at a restaurant called Dump City. >> Why the [ __ ] would you ever name your
restaurant Dump City? That's crazy marketing. >> That's reckless as [ __ ] >> I'm obsessed with it kind of that they
were just like, "It doesn't matter if we call it >> Dump City." Uh, we had a couple of
drinks and so Oh, dumplings. >> Dump City. Come for the dumplings. >> Yeah. I don't know.
>> Wow. You should call them. Give them your idea. >> I got you. Dump city. >> I do love dumplings.
>> I do too, >> but I don't know if I'd get them from Dump City. Well, they also kept an eye
on the press releases and waited for an update. The update finally came. Police apprehended a man who was intoxicated
and had made the call from his white Ford cargo van camped out in the BLM forest by Phil's trail head.
>> Or >> it was him, the beer guy. >> Maybe it's a good thing that you looked like his sister.
>> Yeah, maybe that's what >> spared you. >> It all worked. >> It was him, the beer guy. Now the murder
beer guy really sunk in. He had reached behind him and had in his possession two
guns which he planned to use on people in the area, but instead pulled out some beers to ever so kindly hand to us and
send my dog into a vomit attack of panic. This crazy guy had probably reached around his firearms to hand us
those beers. >> That I feel like I would spend the rest of my life being like, "Why didn't he
kill us?" >> Yeah, that's stressful as [ __ ] >> Thoughts started racing. What if we had
been mean to him? What if I didn't remind him of his sister? I'm telling you. >> What if the dog hadn't vomited and
distracted Chago and he said something rude or told him to [ __ ] off like we would have done in any other
circumstance? >> You would have been fully within your bounds to do that. >> What if he had seen me alone in the
woods? Was that the bad feeling I got the night before because the man had been camped in those same woods? What
if? What if? What if? >> Oh, I like how you ended that. >> I told Chago again, "Don't drink those
[ __ ] murder beers." We raced back to our campsite after the all clear and packed up haphazardly at record speed.
Um on and got the [ __ ] out of those woods. We camped in my sister another sister in my sister's driveway the next
night and enjoyed a non-squatchy non-murdery evening. >> That's a nice evening. >> Except Chago drank the goddamn murder
beers. >> Here's the thing. I like had a feeling Cho was going to murder beers. >> Yeah,
>> Cho lives life on the edge. Good for Chago. >> Then in the theme of the day proceeded
to projectile vomit the bad ju guu that was for sure encapsulated in those ominous boneyard beards.
>> Oh no. >> And there it is. I hope this was entertaining cuz it's definitely a
staple story for the rest of our lives. Chago quit drinking shortly after this experience and is now enjoying the
amazing an amazing sobriety. >> Oh yeah, Chago. >> And she said, "So proud of him." And I
say, "So proud of you, Cho. >> [ __ ] yeah. >> [ __ ] yeah. I hope you enjoyed this and I
hope you keep it weird but not >> later. He said later. He knows it's the end. >> He said later. Bye
>> later. Sarah, >> can I also just throw out there right when the murder beers happen? I don't
know why it didn't come through but uh he said idiotic >> Nicholas. That's rude >> to Chicago but funny.
>> Is it fair? >> Yes. >> But >> and I feel Sarah would agree. >> Yeah, I think Sarah would agree. Uh, but
keep it weird, but not so weird that you narrowly avoid possibly getting yonked out of existence by a greasy crazy van
guy, but get saved by a distracting projectile vomiting puppy and possibly looking like said man's sister, but then
drink murder beers and get so sick that you g give up drinking forever. Or do whatever floats your boat.
>> Hey, whatever works, right? Oh my god, I love your dog. >> Oh my god, I hope you have a tattoo of
that dog because that's the most tattooable dog I've ever seen. >> A be. >> A true be. I feel like um what's that
style? Um I don't know. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. Period. >> That's it. >> No. Um like like I don't know. Wouldn't
that dog just looks like a tattoo? >> He does look like a tattoo. It's a beautiful dog.
>> Look at you with your cool sunglasses on. >> Yeah. I got to put them on. >> I just want to stare at your dog
>> when it's time to vibe. Uh Sarah, that was an amazing story and it was really
scary and I was on the edge of my seat. >> Literally. >> That man would have killed you.
>> Yeah. if you didn't look like his sister. >> So, I'm really glad that you guys Good
for Chago. I think Chago read the room, too. I think he was just like, "Thanks, man. Bye." Like, he got the vibe.
>> Yeah, it was smart. >> So, you guys were smart. >> Good job, >> Sarah. >> I kind of just burped that at you.
Sorry. >> Good job. >> All right. Tail two. My real life man or the bear. Oh, no.
>> Oh, >> the bear. The bear. The bear. >> That scares me a whole lot. >> This listener would like to remain
anonymous and we'll allow that. >> We will allow you to remain anonymous. >> Fine. Hey, morbid fam. You know that
question that has been popular recently on the tick-talkie? Oh, yeah. The one asked of women, you're alone in the
woods. Who would you rather encounter, a man or a bear? Here's my real life answer. In August of 2024, I was I
almost just read I was [ __ ] Just I was >> I was [ __ ] >> I just became what the [ __ ]
>> It says I was between jobs >> like not even slightly that word. I made you. I don't know what that means
about me. >> I don't I'm not going to explore it. Sorry. Sorry, anonymous. I was between
jobs and I decided to visit my happy place, Mloud Falls in California is out near Shasta. And there's a campground
that runs along three gorgeous waterfalls. >> That could call to me. >> Yeah. >> Wouldn't camp there, but I'd go there.
>> I'd go there. I'd look at it. >> Yeah. I'd look at it and then I'd go home. I had been there at least five
times already. What did he say? >> Furby. >> I thought he said Furby. >> Furby. I've been there at least five times
already. But I just love it so much out there that I had to go again. I stayed about a week and although I want Oh,
what do you need? Nicholas said help me. >> I always feel so sad when you say that.
What can I do to help? Nicholas, >> tell us what you need. Elena will be sure to see to it.
>> I will. >> And like I'll help her. I will absolutely see to it for no reason.
>> So, I've been there at least five times already, but I just love it so much out
there that I had to go again. I stayed about a week, and although I went alone, the campsites around me were all
occupied with happy campers. The first night, I slept in my tent, but didn't sleep well. So, I left my tent up as a
placeholder and slept in my car instead. I've been on the road a lot, and I prefer my car because it has a hard
shell. I can get more comfortable, and I can leave quickly if I need to. >> Yeah,
>> that's fair. >> Smart. >> Yeah. I also didn't have campfires because I go to bed early so I can wake
up early. So, the days go by of exploring and swimming. I saw tons of deer and one morning I even saw a baby
black bear. They're so cute. >> They're so cute. Leave them alone. >> Don't go near them. Don't be like John
and get out of the car and try to follow them. >> Yep. John tried to look at one very
closely. >> And even his 10-year-old children said, "Maybe you shouldn't do that."
>> See, that was dumb. Dad, >> on my last day, I decided to pop a cap. >> What? >> In someone's ass.
Hello. Oh, what what does that say about us? Because I think you mean open a beer.
>> But I've never heard that. The only papa cap I've ever heard is in someone's ass.
That means shoot them. >> That's I immediately thought of that. >> I've never heard that for like open a
sod >> like a sod. I decided >> I thought it was like I I've heard like crack one open, you know,
>> on >> my last day I decided to shoot someone >> and that's it. Period. >> That's
>> I see why you wanted to remain anonymous. >> I decided to pop a cap. Yeah. >> And then she This person, whoever it is,
is like, "Are you guys for real?" >> What did he just say? >> No way. No way. You
>> No way. Crazy. >> So, you popped a cap and you hiked the length of the waterfall. Waterfall
waterfall. Uh, and conclude the day by swimming at the middle falls. The water's very cold, but once you get used
to it, you can stay in all day. I was like a chubby mermaid out there. I swam under the fall.
>> Hell yeah. >> I'm just picturing a chubby mermaid shooting. Just a chubby mermaid with like a clock.
>> What's happening? >> I don't know >> what has happened. >> It's the pop of the cap.
>> I'm picturing like the mermaid like Coraline >> like the when they do the show and
they're dressed as mermaids. >> Oh, I was like what? >> I forgot about that part.
>> I'm picturing that. >> Who's not here? Mikey's not here. Maybe that's what >> we didn't pop a gap at his house.
>> No, we didn't. >> So, I swam under the falls and I floated with only the sounds of constantly
crashing water. It was getting towards on towards evening and I realized a lot of people had left and there was only
two men standing on the bank. Hate that. >> Get out of there. >> I continued to luxuriate in the falls
for as long as I could and >> later. Still, what are what are you doing later? >> Yeah. What you planning?
>> Do you want a milkshake? We're getting milkshakes later. >> Hell yeah. >> Uh, so I continued to luxury in the
halls for as long as I could. And when I got back to the bank, there was only one
man left. >> Somehow that's worse than two men. >> Yeah. >> You know what I mean?
>> I don't know why. >> As I was drying off and getting ready to walk back to camp, this tall overweight
fedora, my lady looking mother. >> Oh no. >> Oh no. Like my lady. >> My lady. >> Oh no.
>> It's a Reddit mod. >> Oh no. >> My lady looking [ __ ] approached me. He said, "Could you take a picture
with me?" >> "A picture of me?" >> Oh, hold on. He said, "Could you take a picture of me?" He was holding his
phone, and this seemed like a normal request. I said, "Sure." And started to climb down the rocks to take his phone.
That's when he said, "I want to send my girlfriends in the Philippines a nude photo of me."
>> Oh, go [ __ ] yourself, dude. >> You're so nasty. >> Go [ __ ] yourself. Put your junk away.
>> I'd literally be like, "Fuck off and die." >> She would say that. >> [ __ ] off and die. I just screamed.
>> You nasty [ __ ] >> I scream and jump back into the water. Probably >> [ __ ] off.
>> Uh, I just grabbed his phone and I immediately said, "Sorry, I can't do that." And I handed his phone back.
>> I grabbed my stuff and I walked/jobgob as fast as I could back to camp. I was
pissed. This was the last night of my magical camping trip and now I have to look over my shoulder. I wish I had
thrown his phone. >> I don't blame you, bro. >> You should have. You should have stomped
on it. >> But you know what? You were being smart. >> You were. And that very same thought
triggered my first memory of coming to these falls a few years before. The same [ __ ] asked me that same question
at the same fall years before. >> What? >> I had forgotten because I had so many
adventures around that time and so the memory kind of just faded. >> Good for you.
>> Then I thought >> it was that she was like life is so great that I just forgot about that
shitty thing. >> Yeah. >> Good for you. >> Yeah, absolutely. >> That's awesome. >> Hate that.
>> What did he say? He will come. >> And he said later before and you said what's happening later and he said we
will come >> to get milkshakes. >> To get milkshakes. Yes. >> Right. >> Yes. >> Um so I had so many great adventures
around that time that memory had faded. Then I thought how gross and pathetic that this guy is still out here trying
to get women to take pictures of his teeny weeny. >> Like dude, don't you have a life? If
this was Dante's Inferno, I imagine he would be in the second level where lusty [ __ ] are quote blown into a violent
storm without hope of rest. Hell yeah. And he would just be walking around for all of eternity with a broken camera
asking for people to let him pose nude. Yep. Ain't no rest for the pervy. >> Now I am
Nicholas. Nicholas. That's upsetting. >> Why are you trying to scare us, Nicholas?
>> I am a little scared, Nicholas. >> Just to recap, he said >> later. >> Later. We said, "What's happening
later?" And he said, "We will come." And we said, >> and I said, "To get milkshakes."
>> And he said, "Are you scared?" >> Nicholas, >> "Are you just trying to be spooky?" Cuz
you know, we're looking forward to October. >> Yeah, maybe. >> That's it. >> So, I got back to camp still pissed and
upset and climbed into my car and watched the trail head to make sure he hadn't followed me. I was in the clear
now and I decided to totally pack up so that so that that so that that >> so that that
>> so that in the morning I could GTFO. Once I was packed up, I noticed that a lot of the campers around me had left.
The camp Dossent was uh only a couple spots away in a cabin. So I felt okay. I got ready for bed and curled up in my
car. What's a dosent? >> Do you know like I know like a there's like a museum dosent.
>> Well, what's a dosent? I think I would assume for I'm trying to think of for like a campground what it would do.
>> What does a museum do? >> I think they're like they like oversee everything. >> Oh, it's like a keeper of the grounds
kind of. >> I would think so. I I'm not sure, so don't hold me to that. >> Well, that's what we think. But the
night didn't end there. After I curled up in my car, some young men pulled up at the campsite diagonal of me.
>> I hate that. >> Yeah. And they left their car lights on as they looked around and set up. I
realized I wasn't going to get any sleep right away. So, I grabbed a little bottle of tequila and my green and I sat
on the picnic table in the dark looking up at the stars. It was dark and I was quiet. I looked at the stars and I
savored my final night in one of my favorite places. I do respect that you're like trying to like not get them
to ruin it for you. >> Yeah. And like still having a whimsical moment to yourself cuz you deserve it.
>> You do deserve it. And like you should be able to do that. >> Yeah. >> I'd been out there 20 minutes and I
noticed something walking about 20 ft from me. I couldn't see well and it took me a moment, but I realized that it
couldn't be a deer because of the size and the way it moved. It was a big black bear.
>> Oh, >> it was scouting for food left behind by other campers. I sat still so as not to
startle it. I saw it recoil for a moment like it smelled me and my booze. I think
it sensed that I wasn't a threat, so it walked past me, not wanting any trouble.
As soon as it passed, I climbed into my car just in case. Good for you. Cuz >> he said in the shadow.
It's like a little poetic. >> It is a little bit. >> It's a lot of shadow. It's >> kind of freaking me out, Nicholas, but I
don't know about that. Um, yeah. Black bears are like pretty cool. >> They're chiller. Yeah.
>> As long as you don't like [ __ ] with them, they won't [ __ ] with you usually.
>> I think. Isn't it like they're more scared of you? Really? >> Yeah. Black bears get like freaked out.
>> Yeah. Unless they're protecting their babies, but obviously you don't want to
[ __ ] with a black bear. Like, >> no. I mean, we have a ton of those around the house.
>> Yeah. The bear didn't bother me. It silently shared space with me. The bear didn't try to manipulate me. The bear
wasn't pervy. The bear didn't ask me to take a pick. The bear didn't ask me to take pics of it naked,
>> which kind of would have been adorable if it did. >> I love this next slime. In fact, the
bear was naked and it still wasn't creepy about it. >> Believe me. >> We're not,
>> Nicholas. I never planned to. It's just like you just can't get weird. Okay. >> Yeah,
>> that's all. >> Don't be. >> The man made me feel uncomfortable and I sense he would have tried to lure me in
an escalate. So, yeah, team bear 100%. >> Hell yeah. >> I love that. The man and the bear at the
in the same night. >> Yeah. And this you had an experience with both of them and it was crystal
clear. >> Yeah. Who you would pick. >> Like she didn't even talk about like feeling scared of this bear.
>> No. She just was like, "Oh [ __ ] that's a black bear." And then she was like,
"I'm just going to sit here for a minute." And it looked at her, just kind of smelled and was like, "All right, I'm
going to walk away now." >> Isn't that just like really sad that a woman will be like, "Oh wow, a black
bear." And then, "Oh, [ __ ] A man." >> Like, see? Yeah. Like >> that's real. >> That man walked up to her and asked her
to take a naked picture of him to send to his girlfriend in the Philippines. >> Hey, do you mind if I whip my dick out?
Yeah, I do. >> You wouldn't know her if she doesn't go to school here. >> Yeah. Yeah. Like that's that vibe and
this bear just chugged on through. >> Yeah. >> Like that tells you everything. >> I love the bear was naked and it was a
great that's what >> you're listening. Thank you. >> Thank you for that. He's like I'm
listening and I'm learning. I'm I'm understanding that you don't like when I get too intense.
>> Yeah. It's okay as long as you're like you're being chill about it. >> We're communicating.
>> Respect is here both ways. Okay. >> Um but yeah, anonymous. That was a good tail. I'm sorry you experienced that.
Like, I'm still glad that you had a good time, but I hate that they even tainted
your trip twice >> cuz that's gross. >> A beautiful place. >> Yeah. >> All right, tail number three. I
literally got lost in a horror movieesque forest survivor like the TV show style featuring a rift in the
fabric of space time. >> He said that again. He's not here. >> Yeah. >> Are you talking about Mikey?
He's usually here. Sometimes he silences you. Maybe that's why he's talking so much.
He's like, he's not here, so I'm out. >> Also, he said, "Listen." He said, "Listen to me."
>> Yeah. >> You see what you did, Mikey? >> See that, Mikey? >> And he's like, "God damn it, it was one
time." >> God damn it. >> He was like, "It was an intense story." Okay. >> I have to start off with a bit of
backstory so you better understand why I did what I did and how on earth I ended
up in this situation. I grew up in a smallish town in Manitoba, Canada. Speaking of Canada,
>> that's where Mikey is. My parents are ultra hippies in a sense and wanted their children to go up near nature. So
they bought a house offrid on the edge of a forest where I was born. My parents had me in their early 20s and after
deciding they wanted more children after many years, they had my brothers in quick succession. That means that I
technically grew up an only child because my brothers, twins, were born when I was 14 and my baby brother when I
was 16. Oh wow. >> So I had to find ways to entertain myself. You may say that my parents were
crunchy. No preservatives, food dyes, having their own chickens and sheep for eggs, wool, fe wool and meat, walking
barefoot and so on. >> I'm obsessed with this. >> They became less and less strict in the
in this regard as I grew older and especially after they had more children, but it's still in there somewhere as my
brothers are also quote unquote forced to play outside. We had a rule when I was a kid that you had to be outside for
at least 4 hours a day. School and other activities didn't count. >> Yeah, you got a ground.
>> That meant that I that I played mostly alone in the forest near our home every
day until I was about 12. Since my friends usually had other things to do after school, I suspect their parents
didn't enjoy the idea of their children running around in the literal swampy forest until dark. I used to go into the
forest around our home and do whatever six-year-old children with sticks and rocks did. From then, school ended until
it became dark. I was out playing hideand seek with my imaginary friends, climbing trees, and eating dirt. My
parents used to call that me gaining an immune system. >> All right, >> I tell you this because I've always felt
a very strong connection with nature in the forest. And even now, I live basically in the forest with my
girlfriend like the cottagecore gremlins we are. I love that. >> I love that. >> I'm obsessed. It never felt scary or
alien to me, which I believe clouded my judgment and caused me to have a huge case of hubris that put me in a
dangerous situation that easily could have been avoided. >> That's a bummer. That they're like,
"Yeah, it's beautiful, >> but it also made me do this." >> It's true. I love the word hubris.
>> I do, too. Now, my first year at uni, I made some wonderful friends, Ally and
Isaac, that love all things outdoor as much as I do. We made it a recurring tradition to every year go out um go out
barebones camping in the early fall. I call it barebones camping since we usually only packed one tent that had
been in someone's garage for god knows how long. Far too little food, far too much alcohol and that's about it.
>> See, I think that's why people enjoy camping because I think they bring a lot
of alcohol. >> Yeah. And exactly. >> So like you can enjoy anything with a lot of
>> like a haze of inebriation, you know. We took a week off and made it a sort of
challenge how long we could survive with the things we brought with us along with
whatever we foraged and made. Now, that may be many people's worst nightmare, but I enjoy it a lot and consider myself
quite apt at surviving in the woods, >> and I respect that. >> If there ever is a zombie virus
outbreak, hit me up. And I'm sure we'll survive. >> It sounds worse. It sounds worse than it
was, but now when we go, we do prepare better. For example, we bring a lot more food in those foldable polar panel polar
>> We bring foldable polar bears. >> Have you heard of them? >> We bring foldable solar panels that can
change your electron charge your electronics and two tents since Ally and Isaac decided to make me the third wheel
and get together. >> Oh my goodness. Ally and Isaac. >> Oh my god. Ally and >> come on. You're [ __ ] in the camping
trip. I've been somewhat older and a little smarter because it was honestly a miracle that nothing really bad happened
to us the last five years. So last year 2022 when it was time to go on our annual survivor knockoff camp trip, it
was our 5year anniversary. So we decided to go >> what do you want to do later this
evening, Nicholas? Let us know. Just just let me know please what you plan to do later this
evening. >> Consent is a big deal. >> It is a big that's part of the respect of our relationship which you earlier
said assuredly too. >> So please respect that. >> What are you wanting to do later this
evening? >> Okay. Uh so we decide >> this evening. I am working late. I'll be here. Red's always here. She lives here.
>> I'll stay with you, Nicholas. So, we decided to go all out and go to a national park a few hours away from
where we lived. The park had many campgrounds and different overnight accommodations. But in true US fashion,
we didn't want to be around other people. So, we decided to hike right into the woods in a random direction and
see where we ended up. >> I like that. That's a theme here that everybody's like, I didn't want to be
near other people. >> I just I really hate people, so I decided to be away. >> That's how you know that there are
people. >> Yeah. Now, before it gets spooky, I have some warnings. One, don't do this. It's
super dumb. We're dumb people with no regard for our own health. >> All right. >> Two, never go hiking right into an
enormous forest if you aren't on a hiking trail and aren't familiar with the location.
>> Don't got to tell me twice. >> Three, if you do, bring water and food and a compass or a map. Don't be dumb
like us and never go alone. Four, first aid kit. You know it, you love it, bring
it with you. I appreciate those warnings. >> Those are really good. Now that I provided the masses with an adequate
warning, let's get into the meat of this story. We went into the forest on a Thursday and in high spirits and with
lots of spirits in my backpack. In the afternoon, we found a little clearing and set up camp there. This forest
wasn't really the that dense or dark, but it was very symmetrical, if that's the right word for it. Every square
meter looked the same. So, when you didn't see any landmarks, you could walk a 100 meters and it didn't look like you
had moved. That's scary. The first night was totally normal. We ate freeze-dried
spaghetti and got a bit tipsy, catching up and having a great time. >> You can't breeze past that. You can't
breeze past freeze-dried spaghetti. >> I'm intrigued. >> What the [ __ ] >> I'm intrigued. I said I'm not like
excited. >> I'm not I'm not excited. >> I want to see it. >> I don't even know. >> Show me what's freeze-dried spaghetti
looks like. >> No, >> I want to see it. >> Can't you just bring a thermos with real
spaghetti? >> No. freeze-dried spaghetti. >> It's like astronaut food. >> I know. We had to try that when we went
to um an astronaut museum. You know, >> you know, >> that astronaut museum that we have
around here. >> I think there is one. I don't even I don't know. We went there. >> We tried freeze-dried food and it was
gross, but they didn't have spaghetti. >> I I remember trying freeze-dried like ice cream and stuff.
>> Yeah, the ice cream. But we tried other stuff and it wasn't good. >> No, I don't remember it.
>> But that's spaghetti shouldn't be freeze-dried. We shouldn't do that. >> I'd like to see it.
>> And that's where we stand. >> That's where we stand on that issue. So on Friday, we went deeper into the
forest. I wouldn't do that. That's where I stand on that issue. >> After a while, we found a spring and
decided to sit there for a bit. It was literally the most boring normal camping trip ever
>> until it wasn't. >> That was until our phones died. >> See, I told you. >> So, for context, we didn't bring any
charging equipment with us, but we also didn't use our phones for anything as that was part of our challenge. What?
>> We had them turned off somewhere in our bags and when Ally went to take a picture of the spring
>> desk. Are you at the desk? >> Or he's like, "Where is he?" He's usually at the desk.
>> He's in Canada, babe. >> He's in Canada. >> He left us. >> He's not here. >> We got abandoned.
>> Mikey still works for us. We love him. >> We do. We love Mikey. >> But he did leave us.
>> He did. So >> he said forward onward. >> Moving forward. Onward. Let's He said
don't dwell on it. >> Don't. So, we had turned them off, but Ally went to take a picture of the spring.
Her phone wasn't turning on. So, naturally, Isaac and I also tried to turn on our phones, but none of them
would turn on. >> I hate that. >> A little bit creepy, but maybe we could have the cold drained the battery or
something. >> I don't think that happens. >> Uh, that evening, we tried to find a
place to set up a tent, but the trees glu grew so close to each other that it was impossible to find a large enough
area to pitch a tent. We hadn't walked that far from the spring, so we figured turning 180° and walking back would be
easy. After 2 hours, when we still hadn't found our way back, I started to get freaked out. Isaac and Ally started
building a semifunctional shelter from the wind, and I went to try to figure out which way was the way back to the
parking lot. I had to figure out which way was east. >> Oh, [ __ ] that. >> How I would do that, I had no idea since
the sun had just set and you couldn't really see any stars or anything because the trees were in the way. That's when I
heard something that sounded like a grown ass man screaming. The way that you just dropped that. He
was like, "Yeah, it was so weird. It was crazy. It was starting to get a little"
And that's when I heard the man screaming. >> That's how I know you're a man because
if I heard that, I'd just sink into the earth. I'd sink into the earth. >> Like top of his lungs falling off a
cliff without any safety equipment, screaming. >> You know what happened? He found YOUR
FREEZE-DRIED SPAGHETTI. IT'S INHUMANE. >> It did sound far off, but it still gave
me goosebumps. I could still see Isaac and Ally. So, I shouted to ask them if they had heard anything, and they
hadn't, which was super weird because I only stood like 50 m, like 160 ft from them, and it was really loud.
>> This is giving blur witch >> later. That's all I keep thinking of. Which one? Which one of you is going to
throw the [ __ ] map in the stream? Which one of you? >> They don't have a map. >> Who is it?
>> They already did that. >> God damn. Later on, we laid down to try to sleep. Isaac said he heard something walking in
the forest, like twigs snapping and footsteps. >> Pretty soon, you're going to have little
handprints on your tent. >> That part [ __ ] me up. >> That part, Even just thinking about
that, I was like, >> because the kids make some noise like they're lifting something.
>> Stop. No. No. I don't like to talk about it. That noise sends me >> that movie is a masterpiece and they're
not going to do a good job remaking it. >> You can't remake it cuz you can't remake
that marketing. >> Also, the amount of people there, you can't do it. >> I wasn't even there and I know you can
screaming like, "Do we get to see the witch this time?" >> No, that was the scary part.
>> No, you don't. >> It's like why The Strangers doesn't work in sequel form because you showed ME THE
STRANGERS. I WANT TO SEE THE STRANGERS. NO, your brain is scarier what it conjures up.
>> Exactly. >> And that's how we feel about that. >> Thank you. >> Sorry. >> Thank you for coming.
>> Weirdly, Ally and I didn't hear those footsteps. >> The foot >> Wait, I don't like that it's like
traveling through the group. Like one person hears something, the other two don't. The next person hears something
different, these two don't >> because it's isolating everybody in that moment of fear. And I don't like that.
>> That's weird. >> I don't like that. Um, I do love that for like a story though.
>> Great story. >> Um, so the forest was dead quiet, like unnaturally. So, we couldn't even hear
the wind or any animal noises, but Isaac insisted that had that he had heard something. The next morning, after
miserably failing to sleep, we again tried to make our way back from where we came. We still had some food left and
water purifi purifiers in case of emergency, so we weren't going to starve. And with the daylight, I was a
little less scared. But the night's always coming. >> We spent the day just fooling around and
still trying to walk back, which was a bit easier so since the sun had come up and we could figure out which way was
east. Around midday, we could hear running water. And finally, we had made it back to the spring. Or so we had
thought. Ally went and picked some berries so we could snack on them while Isaac and I sat around and tried to make
a game plan of sorts. >> Are you guys going to start tripping now? >> Probably. A little while later, I could
see Ally running towards us zigzagging through the trees, yelling something. When she stopped, I could hear her say
she saw the parking lot from where we came from, but that it was impossible. Or no, but that was impossible if this
was the same spring clearing area. She swore up and down that she'd seen headlights in the distance and heard a
car engine stop. So, we packed up our stuff and followed her. There was nothing there. This is no sound, no
roads that a car or a four-wheeler wheeler could have driven down, nothing. At this point, I still wasn't as freaked
out as I probably should have been. But we continued walking in a straight line to the best of our abilities, thinking
we would hit the edge of the forest somewhere. We set up camp for the third time, and almost as soon as the sun went
down, [ __ ] got wild. >> I told you it would. >> As I said earlier, in this forest, every
tree looked the same. There was almost no natural landmarks and you easily got turned around. So when I went to pee a
little bit away from my friends, we're close but not that close. Sorry. >> That's respectable.
>> And I saw an oak tree, I was thoroughly flabbergasted. This whole forest was like pine trees and other tall, skinny
trees. So why the [ __ ] was there a large, probably at least 70-year-old oak tree in the middle of the forest? Then I
started hearing things like small animals running up and down the tree trunks and skittering all over the
place. Almost like they were running from something. >> The blue witch. >> I shown my flashlight in the direction
of the sound and what do I see? Two reflective big eyes staring at me. >> Huh? >> Now I'm tall,
183 cm or 6 feet. And when you look something when you look at something far away, it looks smaller. Right? So tell
me why this thing was maybe 70 m away from me. >> I don't know how far that is. >> But the eyes were at eye level with me,
meaning it was big. Big big. >> Was it a bail? >> It moved towards me. And this was not an
animal I knew about. At first I thought it was a moose because I saw something that looked like antlers, but they were
super skinny. And the sound it made did not sound like a moose. It was very high-pitched, like a fork scraping on a
plate, but coming from a throat of someone with tuberculosis who smokes three packs a day.
>> Descriptive. It's like um where's that monster? Where's the monster? >> Oh, he's over there now.
>> From the ritual. >> From the ritual. >> That's what I thought, too. Immediately,
I thought about that. That is it. It >> based on a windo. >> I think so. >> I It probably is. That it does. It makes
me think of a windo. That's not good. >> That's really bad. In fact, >> um I did what any sane person would do.
Pulled up my pants and ran screaming in the other direction. Smart. >> I yelled at the top of my lungs in hopes
Ally and Isaac would understand that they also had to run at this point because it was every man for themselves.
>> Only like a minute later, I stopped to look back and saw nothing. The adrenaline in me at the time was through
the roof. I could literally hear my blood traveling through my body and it felt like an out-of- body experience in
a really uncomfortable way. E >> I waited a bit and when I was sure nothing moved or made a sound, I quickly
tried to sneak back to where we had camped. I could see still see the light from where we had put up the tent. So I
slowly walked towards it. There eating berries and other plants we had forged sat Isaac and Ally totally chill but a
bit puzzled why I had been gone so long. I was still worked up that I was in totally not I in a totally not chill way
shouted at them because they hadn't run when I told them to. We didn't hear anything was the answer to that. What do
you mean you didn't hear me screaming at the top of my lungs? Apparently the only
thing they noticed was me going to relieve myself out of eyesight and after 15 minutes me coming back from them a to
from a totally different direction. >> What? I still don't understand how the [ __ ] this was possible. Safe to say, I
did not sleep well that night. We were a bit worried the batteries in our flashlight would run out since we hadn't
charged them before this. So, we had to lay there in the pitch black forest just
staring up at the orange roof of that tent. >> No. >> Somehow, I managed to fall asleep and to
get a solid 4 hours of sleep before Ally woke me to tell me that Isaac had for real this time found a road. We got d we
got going in the direction Isaac pointed us to and there it was a welltraveled uh
there it was a welltraveled trail. I was elated. Normally we camp for about 5 days but we decided to cut this trip
short because the vibes weren't there. They were not immaculate. Also because I was scared shitless. We followed the
trail for only about 40 minutes until we got to a parking lot. Now here's something super weird. We went into the
forest on a Thursday and we came out on a Sunday on a Saturday. But we had spent
three nights in there, so it should have been Sunday. How did we experience three
nights, but it had only been two days. The sun came up and down three times in the span of two days.
>> Two days. >> Super weirded out, we called an Uber to get us out of there. Ate some Wendy's
for dinner. >> The appropriate decision. We tried to come up with a normal explanation for
all the things we heard, saw, and experienced, but ultimately we decided it was better if we didn't know.
>> Life is [ __ ] weird, man. >> Side note, I tried turning on my phone back home, and it turned on with 60%
battery left, so I don't know what the [ __ ] that was about either. >> We're not meant to go into the woods.
>> No. For extended periods of time to go into the ocean. >> No, we did go camping the next year
again. >> You guys are absolutely [ __ ] You're [ __ ] in the head for that. >> That's [ __ ] up. That's wrong.
>> How dare you? >> You're wrong for that. >> Did you bring the freeze-dried spaghetti
again? >> But this time, we were better prepared. I camped in my part of the woods near my
childhood home in order to avoid any horned monsters lurking about. >> Yeah, but what if they know you now?
What if they like marked you? >> Truly, what if they have your scent? >> They do. What if they What if What if
they do? >> Yeah, they do have your scent. Just so you know, that was that. I have some
true crime stories I might send in when I get when I go get to writing them. As I said, I don't particularly enjoy
writing, so I might take a while. >> You did a great job. >> Great at it. Once again, thank you for
existing and reading my this story. I love you so much. Keep it weird, but not so weird that you go camp that you go
camping survival mode and start hearing things and get caught mid piss by a demon so scary it makes you experience
an extra day. Don't do that. Like, actually, don't. >> I'm not gonna. >> I won't either.
>> I'm not gonna. That is a horrifying story. >> Oh my gosh. >> The way that you experienced an extra
day. >> I That's the part that gets me. >> What? >> He said skeptical. >> I thought he said step tickle and then
he said, "Is this a game?" >> Skeptical. >> I love that Nicholas said didn't happen.
>> I was like the way you experienced an extra day. And he said skeptical. >> You didn't. He said, "I don't know about
that." >> Listen, we believe you, but Nicholas doesn't. >> I believe you. Nicholas is skeptical.
>> Wowza. >> That stressed me out. >> Wowza. >> You saw You saw the monster from the
ritual. >> I got to tell you, I think that's one of the best tales we've ever done.
>> Yeah, that was crazy. >> I was like really freaked out by that. >> I would love to hear Isaac and Ally, who
I love that they're in love now. Um >> I mean, they bonded. >> They did because a lot of times they
were just left alone while you were screaming and pissing and running. I'm honestly surprised you guys aren't a
throppple after that. That's crazy. Polygamy would be fine after that. >> Wow. >> Wow.
>> [ __ ] All right. Tail number four. The tale of the camping murders. Yes. Murders as in more than one from
multiple camping trips. >> Oh, and you kept camping. >> And it this listener tale has a
prologue. >> Oh, settle in. Settle in for this one. This is going to be the the culmination.
>> All right. My husband Josh is a few I don't know why I just like to say Josh >> Josh
>> is a few years older than me. Eight years to be exa exact. Get it boy. >> And despite you said that not me.
>> I love that. But but honestly sure >> and despite our age difference our fun levels have always been on the same
page. And he's always been great with getting along with my friends. Part of the reason why I love him so much.
>> So one summer I told him my bff since middle school. 25 years of friendship and still going strong. We're going
camping for a weekend and I wanted us to go too. Now, I've never really been I had never really been camping. I'm what
you would consider an indoor cat. Me, too. Same. >> I do enjoy going out. I play sports. I
would go ghost hunting with these BFFs back in the day. But when it comes to going away
>> scared, >> yeah, you they're scared. >> Scared to go camping. Yeah. Who's not?
>> It makes sense. >> When it comes to going away for a long weekend, I do enjoy the finer things and
like to stay at hotels or nice Airbnb Airbnbs and go to nice restaurants and feel fancy.
>> Yes. Yes. Feel like I'm like talking to myself right now. >> YOLO. Am I right?
>> You are right. >> Remember when Janelle Evans got that tattooed on her body? I'm I'm just
thinking about that. >> Oh my god, I forgot that. >> Yeah. >> Wa. >> I'm re-watching Teen Mom, too.
>> Uh I did go camping once in high school after senior ball. But I got very high.
A cicada flew up my shorts and I freaked out and then I passed out in a tent only
to awake the next day as if the night was a blip on my radar. >> Honestly, a cicada flying up your shorts
is a [ __ ] nightmare. >> Yeah, it really is. >> Those things are scary. Honestly, a
cicada existing within a 10ft radius of you is >> Anyway, I was excited to go spend a
weekend in the wilderness for real with my friends and my husband. But when I told him about the plans, he paused,
looked away briefly, then back at me with a bit of fear in his eyes. >> Oh, wait, hold on. Can I Can I show you
that? So, he paused. Okay. >> He looked away. >> Wow. >> That was what happened.
>> Academy Award winner Elena Urgar White. Thank you. >> Crazy. I like that you said, "Wait."
>> That was just so >> You said And you asked cinematic. You asked permission. You said, "Can I show
you that? >> Can I?" >> I said, "Yes, of course." >> Can I wow you with my with my acting
abilities? >> And you did. And you did. >> It was cinematic. I feel like it had to
happen. >> Okay. So, he told me if he uh he told me he didn't know if it was a good idea for
him to go camping because the last times he two times he had done so, there was a
murder. >> A murder. >> Two. Let me just quickly go on a tangent because I feel like right now I should
say submitted for the approval of the Midnight Society. I call this story. >> There it is.
>> We were We were in sync there. The Tale of the Camping Murders. >> Oh, hell yeah. You've just set the vibe
and I like it. >> And then said pours midnight dust on the fire. >> Yes. >> Love it. All right. So, chapter one. I
love it. >> You're killing it. >> Josh grew up camping a lot. He used to go all the time with his dad and it was
a really fun thing he used to do. When he got a little bit older, he wanted to relive some of those childhood memories
and experiences, but you know, he was a college kid with no money and he didn't have any of his own camping equipment.
>> It happens. >> So, the first time he went camping, when murder number one happened,
>> he needed to borrow his dad's tent. I'm sorry. Is he going camping alone? I just
want to know. >> Probably. >> His dad is a good dude, but very particular about people borrowing his
stuff, especially his camping equipment. So, it was important not to lose the tent.
>> I I mean that's important on any camping trip. I feel >> I feel like also it's like the most
vital thing when camping. So, like you're not bound to lose it, but I've never camp.
>> People lose tents >> when they camp. >> Maybe if they like blow away, I guess
>> that's your shelter. >> Don't lose it. >> That's terrifying. See, I shouldn't
camp. >> Yeah. Yeah. >> Yeah. >> Um, so long story short, he lost the tent. >> I guess it happens.
>> He lost the tent. I suppose that happens >> because it was states evidence in a
murder. >> So it doesn't usually happen. So it doesn't usually happen. What the [ __ ] is
happening right now? >> Hello. Okay, so this story takes place in 1998. I was two.
>> Oh my. >> You were 12. >> 12. >> 12. Math. It was spring break of Josh's junior year of college. A couple of his
college buddies and him went camping down near Maryland somewhere where? Not sure, but it was cold. It was April and
it was uh north enough that it was cold out but not like upstate New York in April cold anywhere. Anyway, there was
anywhere. Anywhere. Anyway, there were four of them and they were well idiots. They brought nothing but beer, weed, and
snacks. That's a theme. >> Yeah, it's survival camping apparently. >> And they were the only ones in this
campground because it was so early in the season. Remember, early April, kind of northeast, probably about 40 degrees.
So, >> so the first day they set up their campsite, they were like, "This is way
too cold." Fortunately, there was a log cabin nearby that they could rent. So, they moved all their [ __ ] to the log
cabin and proceeded to basically get [ __ ] up for 3 days. >> Wow. >> They're in college. On the third night,
the guys decided to build this super big campfire outside. Side note, don't do that when you're like super duper [ __ ]
up. >> Yeah. >> Okay, back to the story. They got logs from the trees and they built this
stupidly massive raging campfire and were being stupid college age boys yelling things like, "We are the kings
of the forest. We are alone here." >> Oh my gosh, >> men. Well, when off in the distance,
they see this other normalsized campfire. Now, when I say distance, I don't mean like 40 yards. I have no
capacity of what that is. Uh, I mean like out in the distance, a pretty decent way. Okay. Maybe a quarter a mile
or so. >> It's like almost half a football field. >> All right. >> Right. Cuz like 50 yards is I think a
football field is 100 yards. >> Yeah, I think you're right. >> So it's like almost half a football
field. >> All I remember from cheerleading is first and 10. Do it again. Come on.
Defense work. Work. So I know the 10. Wow. You're That's You're really rude for that. I just put
myself out there. I just put myself out there and you were a mean theater kid and that's why and that's why.
>> That's exactly that's why we're exactly what happened. >> You were a mean I was just spreading
cheer and you were a mean theater kid judging me. >> You're right. >> Wow. >> You're right.
>> And that was my high school experience. I'm just kidding. That's actually why I
quit cheer because people were not nice to us. >> It was like the complete opposite of
every >> like high school movie. >> I was like, "Oh my god, I'll do Cheer and I'll get really popular. Yay." And
everyone was like, "Looser." And I was like, "Okay, I quit. I'll do softball." And then they were like, "Lesian." AND I
WAS LIKE, "YOU'RE NOT WRONG. You're halfway there. I'm by >> and that's a little about me."
>> All right. So, how'd we get here again? From buffet to high school to sexuality.
>> This is a real unhinged one. back to camping. All right. So, the fire was noticeable,
but it was a little far away, but it was the only other person in the general vicinity of where they were. So, these
guys, the drunk, high [ __ ] up idiots that they were, started screaming and chanting at the dude, "Our fire is
bigger. You can't beat us. [ __ ] you, dumb other person. This is our forest." >> It sounded just like that. [ __ ] you,
dumb other person. This is our forest. >> That's like the voice that I do for Drew
when he says something I think is dumb and he's like I don't sound like that. >> John hates cuz the girls do it too. Like
that was like >> that's just this woman. >> He's like I've never started a sentence
with. >> And I'm like but in my head you have. >> In my head you always do. When you say a
dumb thing, it always starts with starts with >> Okay. Uh, you know, things that stupid,
dumb, [ __ ] up college kids would say. >> Yeah. >> And that was it. The fire went out, they
cleaned up, and they went home. Except because they switched to the log cabin, Josh forgot all about the other
campground that they had set up, which included Yeah. his dad's [ __ ] tent. >> That was dumb.
>> So, he left his dad's tent in the state park. He remembers the sinking pit in
his stomach when he got home and thought, "Oh my god, the only thing I couldn't do was lose this [ __ ] tent,
>> which it seems like it would be hard to do." >> Yeah, but apparently not. But of course,
he lost it. So he called up his roommate, who was one of the four idiots on the trip. It was still spring break
and his buddy lived closer to where they went camping. So he asked, "Hey man, can
you swing back over there and pick up my tent?" He was about an hour away from it. The friend said, "Sure, no problem."
>> That's a good friend. >> That is a good friend. So a day goes by, this was pre-texting. Hello, 1998. And
his buddy calls Josh and the combo went like this. Friend: Hey, so I went to the
campground and there's a problem. Josh, what? Friend? Well, you did leave your tent there and they did find it, but
they don't have it anymore. Josh, what do you mean, friend? It's uh states evidence now. Josh, what are you talking
about evidence? Friend? Well, remember the person we were screaming at and taunting, the only other person out
there? There was a reason why he was in his private secluded area in the woods. He was on the run from the [ __ ]
police because he just chopped some people up with an axe. >> What the [ __ ] The guy that they were taunting in the
woods was a literal axe murderer. >> Like a literal axe murderer. [ __ ] a. This is what you do when
you're drunk, high, and stupid. It's the plot of every awful '90s horror movie. But after they left, the axe murderer
apparently came to their cabin and looked around, touching Josh's dad's tent, which then became evidence. They
got lucky that he didn't come while they were still there. But that was camping murder story number one.
>> Holy [ __ ] They almost became murdered. >> Axe murdered. >> They almost became murdered.
>> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> What do you need help with, >> Nicholas? What do you need? >> All right. Chapter 2. Camping murder.
Murder. >> I thought you said chapter two. I might have like chop. Chop. Oh, I didn't mean
to. >> Yeah. >> Chapter two. Camping murder story number two was like two years later.
>> Josh had purchased his own tent at that point because his dad was so pissed at
him for having his first tent become states evidence. >> Yeah. >> Now Josh was like, "Okay, great. I have
my own tent now. I have my own equipment." It's 2000 now. Josh had just graduated college.
>> It's the millennium. >> Oh, look at that. Oh my god. It's the millennium. It's totally Roffus, dude.
Spread it like wildflower. Bring you the millennium. It already happened. Oh, >> he was like, "Bring it to me. It sounds
awesome." It was nostalgic. >> There was a lot of metallic makeup. >> Yeah, >> things were great. Lots of little pieces
of hair in front of your face. Lots of mushroom cuts. >> It was great. >> It was a time to be alive.
>> It was a great time. Lots of blow up furniture. >> I thought you were just going to say
lots of blow. Um, so Josh had just graduated college and he remembers exactly what night this murder took
place because it was the night of this big Red Sox Yankees game where Pedro Martinez pitched against Roger Clemens.
>> Oh, [ __ ] Roger Clemen. >> You know who you're talking to, baby. >> [ __ ] that guy.
>> It was a classic pitcher duel. Now, this trip was uh with a different group of
friends, his high school friends, but similarly to his college friends, they were drunk idiots.
>> Yeah. So they go to this campground in upstate New York somewhere. And this time the campground
>> 23 >> 23. Huh. Okay. What is the significance of that number, Nicholas? >> Yeah.
>> 23. >> Oh, >> they just graduated college, so they'd probably be like 21 or 22, right?
>> Probably. Yeah. >> Oh, >> maybe they took a gap year. >> All right. >> Or maybe he's being like, is that guy
23? >> Maybe. So, this campground is packed. The exact exact opposite of his first murder
camping trip. This campground was not remote at all. In fact, it had its own main community building, which is where
Josh remembers watching the Red Sox Yankees game. >> That makes sense. >> Anyway, at this time, Josh and his
buddies were 21. >> There you go. >> I was right. So, what do you do when you're 21 years old and camping? Same
thing you do when you're 19 and camping. You drink a lot. >> Now, at this campground, Josh remembers
the people there were kind of weird because they were almost like a set of clicks. Their group had about 30 people
and they took up a bunch of campsites, but the group next to them he thinks were Eastern European. He doesn't
remember exactly where they were, where they were from, but they clearly were speaking another language like Polish.
Hey, my honey's Polish. >> Hey. >> And then on the other side of them was this giant massive group of bikers. That
would make me feel so safe. >> Me, too. >> I like bikers. >> I do, too. >> Much like we like truckers.
>> Yeah. >> He said they stood out because hopefully I don't regret saying that. I hope
they're not the murderers here. Who knows? >> Yeah. Well, he said they stood out because uh
there were so many motorcycles everywhere, but the drunk 21-year-olds, Eastern Europeans, and bikers were the
three main groups and their portion of the campground. >> What a grouping. >> Truly, it was like earlier with the
hippies, the hipsters, and >> the >> the good old boys. >> Yeah, the good old boys.
>> Yeah, this is a bit of a better trio. >> So, the first two nights were fine. On
the third night, it's always the third night. >> It always is. >> Josh remembers getting really drunk
again. college kid, idiot. But, uh, nothing really eventful happened. So, he went to bed and passed out, like one of
those drunk 2 a.m. pass outs when you're like, "Oh, I don't want to see the world
for a while." Then he felt like he was suddenly woke up, woken up. And when he was able to gain some semblance of
consciousness from his still drunk/ early hangover state, he just heard screaming, terror, and screaming, and
someone yelling, "Oh [ __ ] I think Josh is in there." which is like the last thing in the world you want to hear when
you're in that state >> or in any state >> when you're conscious. He fully woke up,
opened his eyes, and the entire world was on fire. Everything was burning, including his tent.
>> Oh. >> So, he opens up his tent, and remember, when he went to bed, it was a lovely
summer night. He was drunk with his friends. A true all-American experience. He opens up his tent to [ __ ] hell on
earth. Just a complete hellscape in front of him. So, what apparently happened was the Eastern European group
and the biker group at some point, like 3:00 a.m. got >> always 3:00 a.m. got into a [ __ ] epic
brawl. >> Oh, no. >> Just a crazy brawl that spilled over into his friend's campsites. And one of
the big moments of the fight involved somebody getting pushed and knocking over a grill that had a bunch of hot
coals in it. >> Oh no. Probably hot dogs, too. >> Oh, not the [ __ ] hot dogs. How dare
you waste a dog. Doom. >> But those hot coals landed on Josh's tent and caught it on fire. Holy [ __ ]
Not his brand new tent, too. >> Oh, and he just bought that. >> He's really proud of it. So now his tent
is on fire. There are bodies from this giant massive brawl all over, including one. And he doesn't know if this person
actually died or not, but in his drunk state, this dude was murdered because he had one of those cooking forks that you
used to flip a steak stuck in his head. >> What? >> Like embedded in his head. and he was
bleeding from his head with his eyes closed. Did the guy survive? Josh doesn't know, but he thinks he did.
>> Oh man. >> And while Josh is still drunk or hung over, his tent is burning and he's like,
"I got to get the [ __ ] out of here." >> Yeah, you do. >> Then they uh they then just left and
went home. And it wasn't until a little bit later with some retrospect that he was like, "I'm not sure I can ever go
camping again. My last two camping trips involved taunting an axe murderer and having my tent taken to States evidence.
Then I got a new tent and that caught fire because two random groups got into a fight that left my tent burning and
someone getting stabbed in the head with a pitchfork. >> Yeah, that should tell you that you're
not supposed to camp anymore. >> Well, then I asked him to go camping. >> Yeah. >> Chapter 3. So, he tells me these stories
and I'm like, "Holy [ __ ] are you a liability?" >> He is. He is. >> But they say third time's a charm. And I
really wanted to go spend a long weekend with my friends experiencing the world like an outdoor cat.
>> I love And holy [ __ ] Are you a liability? >> I'm just like, >> you're the problem.
>> [ __ ] Am I just learning that you're a liability? >> Is it me, Jesus? >> Is it you, Jesus?
>> So, we bought a new tent. >> Oh, no. >> And all new equipment because we had none.
>> The trip was four days, three nights at some state park in Pennsylvania. Everything was great. I had so much fun
hiking, >> to that third night. >> I know. Finding random lakes and streams to swim in, learning to play coup, which
is Viking chess. If you haven't played, it's awesome and I would be happy to teach you.
>> Oh, teach me. >> Thank you. And being with my friends and their partners. I was loving it.
>> Yeah. >> Until the third night. >> Yeah. Here we are. We're at the third night.
>> [ __ ] third night. >> It's coming. >> Similar to Josh and his friends, we uh
enjoyed embibing. >> Yeah. >> Embibing the alcoholic beverage every now and again. However, we weren't
idiots like his friends. We were very mindful of everything because we were at a very familyfriendly campground.
>> Oh, that was nice of you. >> Yeah. And technically, you're not supposed to drink in state parks in
Pennsylvania, so we would hide the empties either in coolers or in an opaque garbage bag. We also didn't, you
know, taunt any potential axe murderers or get in any epic brawl. >> Good for you.
>> So, the last night we're there, we still had a lot of booze, so we decided to get
after it a bit. >> Let's get after it. >> I don't smoke anymore, but some of my friends do, so they enjoyed some of
that. And then, oh, we had the Vampire Weekend Pandora channel playing quietly in the background. You just took me
back. >> That is delicious. >> Remember Pandora? >> Remember a Pandora channel? >> I used to love The Shins.
>> Yes. >> Uh that that Pandora channel is is really A+. >> Do you know that Papa got me ad free
Pandora? >> Wow. That he's a G. >> He really was. >> Yeah. >> Um Wow. Oh, Pandora.
>> I'm going to listen to Vampire Weekend Pandora. My art teacher used to let one
person put their phone on the like she had this like big stereo thing that you could put your phone on top of and it
would like play music and she always let me put my Pandora channel on. >> We used to use Pandora in the morg.
>> Oh yeah. >> [ __ ] Pandora. >> Yeah. >> Oh wow. So it was a lovely final evening
just sitting around the fire drinking, relaxing, chatting, listening to Pandora.
>> Yes. It was after 10 at this point, so that's technically quiet hours, but we
were being respectful of the other people camping, not being loud, when all of the sudden, a flashlight shines
towards us, and then another. We freeze briefly, and Josh whispers, "It's happening again, but this time we're
going to be murdered." >> God damn it, Josh. >> I feel like you should leave right now.
>> You got to get the [ __ ] out of here. >> Get out of the campsite, Josh. >> You whisper to me, "It's happening
again. We're going to get murdered." >> I'd say it's your fault. Then in the fire's glow, two park
rangers come walking up to us and they say, "How are you doing?" My stoned and drunk friends seemed a little nervous
and replied, "Good." >> Good. >> Then they asked if we were drinking. We lied and we said, "No." Then one of the
rangers shined a light on a beer can at one of the tables. A beer can that I left on the table.
>> Oh, girl. >> I was the [ __ ] idiot that night and left evidence on the table.
>> Oh, no. They then proceed to tell us that we're not allowed to drink and that
we had to pour out all of our alcohol. Uh they had fun doing that. They were like, "Pour it out."
>> At first, we tried to reason with them, but they weren't allowing it and they
watched us as we murdered our alcohol. >> And honestly, the forest because we had
to pour it all on the ground. >> Yeah. >> One of my friends made the point that it
was bad for the environment. But the rangers didn't care. >> That's lame. >> At one point, Josh yelled, "I'm 40. How
can I not have a drink?" He wasn't 40, but he was the oldest of all of us. I love he wasn't 40.
>> I love in fact it's like the narrator he in fact was not 40, >> but he was the oldest of all of us. I
told you at the beginning his age would come back and was trying to use his age as part of the reason the whole thing
was stupid. Especially because we were being quiet, not interrupting anyone else.
>> Needless to say, we poured out over a 100 ounces of alcohol that night. We went to bed afterwards because the mood
was killed. >> I'd say so. >> And that was because of me. I was the murderer of our fun and our alcohol.
Quite the twist. You would never think that you'd be the murderer. >> Never. >> Fortunately, no humans were injured this
night. Just our egos and part of the forest ground. So, I guess third time was a charm of Josh's camping trips.
Thanks for reading this and I hope you keep it weird, but not so weird that you are involved in multiple murders while
camping and the third murder ends up being you. >> I love that one. >> That was such a good one.
>> I really love that one. >> I love it a lot. That's a lot of murders on camping trips or just shenanigans.
>> That's a I think that's just like what happens on camping trips. >> Yeah. And I just think like that's that,
>> you know? I think you did it. >> I gave it your all. >> I think so, too. >> And that's that.
>> Yeah. What else are you going to do? You know, >> what are you going to do? >> Yeah. One more or no?
>> I don't know. What do you think? >> It's Appalachin. >> Oh, it's Appalachin. >> Feel like we have to. All right. This
will be the last one because it's Appalachin and that's where you end. You have to end on an Appalachin one.
>> Appalachian. >> So, this one is Excuse me. Let me get my eyes back. >> I don't know if I will excuse you.
Remember when you were a theater kid that taunted me? I allowed you to act and you didn't even allow me to cheer
without judgment. Without judgment. >> I can't help my face. >> You really can't.
>> I can't help my face either. >> It's true. Uh, how ghosts turned my hike on the Appalachin Trail into a full-on
sprint. >> Hi, weirdos. My name is Katie. Two. Pronouns she her. Yes, you can use my
tutu. >> I am 22 years old. >> Tutu. >> Yes, you can use my name. And I absolutely love your podcast. I've been
waiting for something spooky to happen to me for some time now so I can finally write a listener tail. And what do you
know? I was blessed with an absolutely terrifying night just for you. >> Huzzah.
>> I could write paragraphs about how much I appreciate you both. But instead, I'll
cut to the chase. Fine. The chase being the scariest night of my life. I'm going
to apologize in advance for the length. It's about an 8 minute read. All right, settle in.
Uh, last year, the year of my 21st birthday, 21 >> should should have been the greatest
year of my life. >> It never is. On my 21st birthday, my friend crashed her head into a wall. So,
we're not friends anymore. >> No, it never will be. No. >> Uh, so instead, it was easily the
hardest. It seemed like every week was something new. Family illness, myself getting sick several times, friends
passing away, and doing my best to support my other friends while they also went through the hardest year of their
lives. It's safe to say when 2022 came around, I was ready for for a break from it all. In January of this year, my dad
was reading the paper when he came across an article of a girl who had hiked the entirety of the Appalachin
Trail. I was immediately intrigued. Anyone that knows me knows I'm a bit of a tomboy. I love the outdoors and
practically grew up in the woods. I decided right then and there that I would hike the trail. I hoped it would
be it would I hoped it would be a fresh start from the craziness my life had been. You did a little more.
>> Yeah, you did. >> In September of this year, I left for a month-long hike on the trail and was
immediately hit with an with its intensity. It was easily the hardest thing I've ever done in my life. Yeah,
>> I'm sure. >> Uh, however, there was one night in particular that stood out uh stood out
more than any other. 20 days into my hike, Jesus Christ. >> Jesus Christ. I just my whole body just
felt a wall. >> I'm tired just from that. I go up the stairs and I'm like, "Woo, that was
crazy for me." So, 20 days into my hike, I had arrived at a shelter. For those of
you who aren't familiar with the trail, there are shelters every 8 to 10ish miles in case of harsh weather
conditions. Shelters usually consisted of three walls and a roof. However, the shelter I had reached this particular
night was one of the largest shelters on the trail. This one was rectangular shaped, four walls with two large door
frames on either side of the walls running lengthwise. On either side of the shelter were two bunks. I've
attached a drawing for reference. Thank you. >> I arrived at the shelter late in the
day. Rather than picking pitching my hammock in a tree like I did most nights, I decided to hang uh hang it
inside of the shelter between the two bunks. My hammock came with a bug net that fully enclosed uh that enclosed it
while I slept. Little did I know this would become one more obstacle in my escape later on.
>> Oh no. I then attached my food sack to the rope and threw it on top of the roof, securing the other end to a post
down below so I would be able to pull it down later. This protected it from bears, the only predator I was supposed
to expect on trail. >> Uh-oh. By the time I was fully set up, it was 9:00 p.m. and it was dark inside
the shelter. I was fully alone tonight like I was most nights. I decided to do my hike in the offse, so I rarely saw
anyone. Most of the days and nights were spent completely alone in the middle of
the mountains. horrifying. >> You're brave. >> Extraterrestrial. >> I zipped myself into the bug net and
settled down for the night, texting my family and friends to let them know I had made it to the shelter for the night
like I did every night. About 15 minutes later, I hear what sounds like footsteps
approaching the shelter. I remember sighing in relief. Nights alone in the woods were often terrifying, and it
always helped having fellow hikers nearby. I waited for the footsteps to approach the shelter so I could inform
my new friend that they were welcome to sleep in the shelter with me, but they never did.
>> That's really nice that you would have just told a stranger that they could sleep in the same area.
>> Yeah, cuz I'd be like, "Don't come the [ __ ] in here." >> Occupied. >> Occupado.
>> Yeah, friend. >> Uh, I wasn't worried, though. Lots of hikers preferred to pitch their own tent
outside the shelter for privacy. I again find myself playing on my phone, talking
to friends, and scrolling Instagram with what little signal I had. After a while,
I noticed I hadn't heard anything more from the footsteps. No shuffling to set up camp and no footsteps walking away.
It seems strange. >> Hate that. >> From my vantage point in the hammock, I could see outside.
>> I couldn't see outside. If I had any lights on inside of the bug net, I wouldn't have been able to see out.
>> Uh the light from my phone reflected off the black netting and would only light
up the inside of my hammock, but nothing on the outside. I settle myself deeper into my sleeping bag and try to relax.
No more than 5 minutes later, I hear heavy footsteps again approaching the shelter, this time from the back.
>> They got you surrounded. >> I quickly sit up and press my face against the bug net in order to see
outside and wait for the owner of the feet to appear. The footsteps walk right past the doorway, and I see nothing.
>> I immediately feel the blood in my face drain down my spine. The noise was close
enough to the door that I should have been able to see whoever it was, but no one was there. My whole body hummed to
life with adrenaline. >> That's a womb, babe. >> Wom. >> I squeezed my eyes shut, willing myself
to get a grip. Maybe it was just a possum walking by, and I hadn't seen it due to its short stature.
>> I don't know. >> I knew deep in my heart it wasn't that. Breathe. Calm down. I was silently
screaming to myself, "You're fine. You're just worked up." I laid flat in my hammock for several minutes,
listening for more, while my pulse hammered away. Just then, I felt my body begin to relax, and I heard a noise that
seemed to deafen everything around it. On the wall closest to my feet, I could hear the sound, what sounded like a
baseball bat, running along the length of the wooden siding, slowly like a psycho killer would do.
>> Psycho killer. >> Footsteps again, crunching in the gravel alongside it. >> I don't like it. Right now seemed like
an appropriate time to run to safety. But again, I was in the middle of the forest and I had no idea who or what was
out there. It was then that I recalled reading a comment in one of my hiking acts apps that mentioned this particular
shelter. The comment read, "Weird guy at the tent sites. For some odd reason, he
displays a ba baseball bat at his site." I was certain at that moment that the sound was the man from the comment and
that he was going to bash my head in with that bat. >> Period. >> Period. Indeed. I quickly sent a text to
my dad saying that I didn't feel safe where I was and to mark my location in case something were to happen to me.
>> Imagine getting that text from your child. >> No, no, no. >> That would be I would die.
>> I'd send a helicopter to Appalachia. >> Truly. I would take flight. >> Yeah. Period. I think I would become a
crypted and I would fly. >> I would take flight. >> Yeah. >> Oh, I'm just hitting stuff.
>> That's mama [ __ ] >> He replied seconds later with, "Get your bear spray out."
>> This only increased my rapidly rising pulse. I had I had brought the bear spray for protection, but never planned
on using it. >> I just got a baby. >> As I'm sending my last text, I hear the bat sound again. This time on the stoop
of the shelter. I shoved my face and headlamp, which I had just wrestled out from under my sleeping bag, against the
nug the nug net. I was like I was like, "What's a nug net?" against the bug net again and see nothing. I feel tears
rolling down my cheeks without even realizing that I had been crying. >> I remember thinking, "I'm going to die
if I don't move." I pushed aside my feelings of fear and tried to replace them with thoughts of someone braver
than I was. >> You're hella brave. >> I You're brave just for being there. >> That's what I'm saying. I strapped on my
headlamp, unzipped the bug net, and nearly fell to the ground. In my left hand, I had my phone open to dial 911,
and my right was bear. As confidently as I could, I stepped outside of the shelter with my bear spray up and called
out, "Hello." >> No, you don't do that, baby. You don't do that. >> No, that's the worst. No,
>> you walk out there and you say, "I have a gun." >> Yes. >> That's [ __ ] you up.
>> Yeah. Nothing. I wasn't quite sure what my plan was, but I knew it involved spraying this [ __ ] in the face if he
came running around the corner. >> What if he was just like, "Hi, h I walked around to the back side of the
shelter and was horrified. Nobody was there." >> What? >> But I could hear the footsteps again,
loud and clear, walking south of the shelter. I knew right then and there that what I was dealing with wasn't
human. >> Oh, not in Appalachia, baby. I switched my phone from the calling app to my
camera, knowing 911 wouldn't be able to help with this one, and started taking a
video for proof. Just as I had done so, the detached footsteps stopped, turned around, and started walking.
>> What did he say? Hug. >> Hug. He said, "I'm scared." >> Maybe he said, "It's going to hug you."
Cuz it's walking up to you. >> Maybe. Just as I had done so, the detached footsteps stopped, turned
around, and started walking right up to me. In a panic, I ended the video and ran back into the shelter.
>> Once inside, I frantically punched numbers to hostiles inside into >> Did he say yeah?
>> Yeah. >> Yeah. He was like, "Yeah, you did the right thing." >> He pushed punched numbers to hostile
inside my into my phone, desperately hoping one would answer and and send a driver to get me. My hopes were low
since it was now 10 p.m. at night. After being sent to a voice to voicemail multiple times, one of the hostiles
called me back and I broke down into a full on sob. I remember the conversation going something like this. Ma'am, are
you okay? No. Do you want me to call the police for you? No. They wouldn't be able to help. Why not, honey? Nobody is
here. You're alone? Yes, but that's not what I mean. They were probably like, >> what?
>> What? >> If it was me, I'd be like, ghost. >> Yeah. Oh, you see a ghost? >> Going to send someone for you, babe. I
explained my situation more in depth to the lady and she >> often >> I explain it happens all the time.
>> It happens a lot. I explained my situation more in depth to the lady and she went quiet for a second before
telling me she didn't have room at her hospital hostel that >> what a [ __ ] >> I felt like I was going to pass out from
fear at this point. Hearing the panic in my voice, she gave me the numbers of several hostels in a nearby resort.
>> What a nice woman. Seriously though, >> just sleep at the desk. >> Like make a little room.
>> I'd be like, "You can sleep in the lock. >> Let's get you here." And then once
you're here, we'll get you somewhere else. >> Yeah, cuz she knows what's going on.
It's a >> It's Appalachia. >> It's a walker. >> While I'm dialing the resort, I could
hear footsteps now running past the doorway on my right. >> It's a flesh pedestrian.
>> Again, nobody is there. I'm hyperventilating when the front desk lady answers my call. She informed me to
get to the closest road as soon as possible and that she was sending a maintenance man to pick me up. Oh, you
know they get these calls all the time in Appalachia. >> I hang up the phone and start throwing
everything into my pack, all the while trying to ignore the footsteps running around the shelter. I exit the shelter
and scramble to where I hung my food sack. In a panic-stricken frenzy, I try to untie the knot before giving up and
cutting it free from the post I had tied it to. >> Was there freeze-dried spaghetti in
there? >> Probably. And I don't want to see it. >> Oh, now you don't. >> I No, I want to see it. Oh.
>> I ran through the woods until I made it to the road I had crossed on my way in.
The maintenance man was already there waiting. A maintenance man. >> I threw myself into his truck without
checking to see if this was in fact the person that was at the resort sent after
me. I know, probably not the smartest decision, but at this point, I was okay with riding with a potential Bundy if
that meant I was near civilization. >> I'd rather deal with a a human scary person than a an invisible scary thing.
That's See, I'm the opposite. >> In Appalachia. >> That's true. >> Like at least.
>> Yeah. >> The car ride to the resort was long and awkward, so I decided to tell the driver
about my terrifying encounter. >> Wait, no, cuz I was just thinking, here's the thing. You can kill a person.
>> That's true. >> You can't kill a ghost. They're dead. >> He proceeded to inform me that I most
likely ran into angry spirits. After all, quote, "The trail runs right through native lands."
That sent chills throughout my body. My witchy friends made me take crystals with me for protection from things like
this. Later that night, after dumping the contents of my pack on the hotel room floor, I found one of my protection
crystals had a piece broken off. My friend informed that me that this meant it had absorbed a large amount of
negative energy and was now quote unquote useless. Yeah, I almost made this the last night of my trip, but
decided I wasn't going to let a little ghost sighting stop me from having perhaps one of the best experiences of
my life. You're a badass. I'm so thankful I didn't. I continued to hike for the rest of the month and finished
proudly after having hiked 283.5 miles in 30 [ __ ] days. You went back, miss [ __ ] Miss [ __ ] you went back.
During which time I made lifelong friendships, hiked through the entire Smoky Mountains, and learned more about
myself in 30 days than I have in 22 years of living. >> Wow. You >> You ate, you cried, and you learned on
that trail. >> Many of those days I spent listening to this podcast to keep me going.
>> Oh my god, >> that's so [ __ ] cool. >> That's really cool. >> So, to put an end to this incredibly
long story, keep it weird, but not so weird that Take it away, Ash. You decide to embark on a [ __ ] journey hiking
across the Appalachian [ __ ] trail and you say, "This whole thing is going to change my life." And the first time that
you try to set out there, you the the footsteps and the baseball bats and the spirits and the broken crystals,
everything gets to you and you get in the car with a man who you don't know if it's Ted Bundy, but he says, "I'm not
Ted Bundy, but those spirits are going to get you, boo." And you say, "No, they're not. I'm going to finish this
trail." And you keep it so weird that you finish the [ __ ] trail >> while listening to Morbid.
>> Which also like the fact that you listened to Morbid the entire time. You hyped the Appalachin Trail is like you
made it harder for yourself in that way. >> That's true. >> You said I'm a freak myself out while I
do this. You got your freak on. Missy Elliot would be proud. I'm on a Missy Elliot case.
>> You are on a Missy Elliot. >> You got your freak on. >> That was Wow. >> That was scary.
>> That was crazy. >> If you guys thought that this was going to make me camp. Yeah,
>> you're wrong. >> I'm saying you're so weird. >> Well, you people as as usual. Can I ask
you something? Do you say as per usual or is that redundant? >> I do not like saying as per usual.
>> Doesn't it feel redundant? I know as and per are different, but like >> Yeah, I don't love it.
>> But aren't as and per kind of the same because it's like per my last email? >> That's what I would feel.
>> As per. >> I don't like as per usual. >> As as as my last email. >> Yeah, per my last email. Yeah, I'm
totally on your side. >> I think I might. You're like, you don't have to convince me. I think I'm going
to start saying per my last email. >> Purp per. >> I don't know. Anyways, >> I've gone on a lot of tangents this
time. How do we end these? >> Good job. >> If you have any listener tales, send them in with listener tail in the
subject line. >> Yeah. To morbid podcastmail.com. >> Do it. >> We hope you keep listening.
>> And we hope you >> We really hope you keep listening. >> Yeah. >> And we hope you
>> I I said it. I know. But then I said, "And we hope you keep it >> weird." >> Weird.
>> As weird as us. >> Yeah.

Weirdos! It's one of our favorite times of the month: Listener Tales!! This time, Deb has found some spine tingling camping tales that will make you rethink ever stepping foot in the woods again! The best part? These tales are BY you FOR you and ALL ABOUT YOU! We go off the rails the week, so strap in, friends! Check out the YOUTUBE version is packed with extra Nicholas footage!

If you’ve got a listener tale please send it to Deb by emailing us at Morbidpodcast@gmail.com with “Listener Tales” somewhere in the subject line, and if you share pictures, please let us know if we can share them with fellow weirdos! :)

Cowritten by Alaina Urquhart, Ash Kelley & Dave White (Since 10/2022) Produced & Edited by Mikie Sirois (Since 2023) Research by Dave White (Since 10/2022), Alaina Urquhart & Ash Kelley Listener Correspondence & Collaboration by Debra Lally Listener Tale Video Edited by Aidan McElman (Since 6/2025) Listener Tale Theme Music licensed from https://www.purple-planet.com Main Theme: Matti Paalanen — Trick or Treat — Provided by Jamendo Ad Music: Title: Artist: BlueJay Studio — Spooky Waltz — Provided by Jamendo

Brief Summary

Listeners share spooky camping tales involving potential murderers and ghostly encounters.

Key points

Camping Fears. A humorous take on irrational fears while camping, including Bigfoot and sleep paralysis.
The Van Encounter. A tense moment as a mysterious van approaches the campsite, raising anxiety levels.
Murder Beers. After a tense encounter, they discover the beers handed to them were from a dangerous man.
A Close Call. A conversation with a strange man reveals a nearby criminal threat, escalating the tension.
The Bear vs. The Man. A stark contrast between a bear's calmness and a man's creepiness.
Camping Gone Wrong. A camping trip takes a turn when phones die and strange sounds emerge from the forest.

Episode highlights

Episode quotes

I have a completely irrational fear of Bigfoot murdering me in my sleep.

Sharing a humorous yet relatable fear while camping.

11:30WatchJul 5, 2026

Tension

75/ 100High tension

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